- chapter 1 - chapter 5.2 - chapter 4.1 - chapter 3.1 - chapter 6.1 - chapter 14.1 - chapter 5.1 - chapter 10 - chapter 11.2 - chaper 13.2 - chapter 2 - chapter 4.2 - chapter 3.2 - chapter 4.3 - chapter 7 - chapter 9.1 - chapter 6.2 - chapter 9.3 - chapter 11.1 - chapter 8.2 - chapter 14.2 - chapter 15.3 - chapter 12.2 - chapter 15.2 - chapter 9.2 - chapter 12.1 - chapter 15.1 - chapter 13.3 - chapter 8.1 - chapter 13.1 - chapter 8.3 -
- May 13 - 1998 - Seventh Year -
Once my health began to improve, Draco was finally convinced to go back to his dorm. I was amazed at the change my near-death had caused in him. He visited often, almost every spare minute, and he no longer worried about what others would think of a relationship between us, openly kissing me with others watching, touching me in intimate ways that I had never experienced before. Not sexual ways, simple gestures, brushing hair from my face, kissing my temple, whispering softly into my ear. And despite his protests, he had continued to call me 'love', and even occasionally 'pet'. Hermione was a bit bewildered by his behavior, but only until I made him leave one evening and discussed it with her. She was not pleased, but remained quiet about the situation, tending to station herself on the other side of Harry's bed when she visited, indignant glances flickering at Draco every so often. I let her keep her distance, hoping that she would warm up to him eventually.
It was Saturday afternoon when Harry finally woke up, and Draco and I sat across from each other on my bed, playing chess. Draco was holding my hand next to the board, absently rubbing his thumb across the surface. I think he did it to distract me so that I wouldn't beat him for the millionth time. My knight had just finished pummeling his bishop when we both looked over at a stirring in Harry's bed. He was rubbing his eyes and sitting up gingerly, "Am I still dreaming? What's going on?"
I grinned and got out of bed to hug him in relief, "No, mate, you're awake. How do you feel?" I pulled away to looked at him and he yawned loudly.
"Disoriented. I think I'm hallucinating. I'm seeing Malfoy in your bed." I laughed and looked over at him. He was quietly watching our exchange.
"You aren't hallucinating, mate. He's playing chess with me, and losing horridly, I might add." I smirked over at him and received a sneer in return.
Harry rubbed his forehead and wrinkled his nose, "How long have I been out?"
"About a week and a half. You drained all your magic in the battle, which you did brilliantly in, by the way. They're awarding you a Marlin First Blass for outstanding aide to the Wizarding World."
"So that wasn't just a dream? He's really gone?" He looked hopefully up at me and I grinned.
"Just a pile of rubbish. You pretty well destroyed him."
He sighed and visibly relaxed, sinking into his pillows again. "Good, very good." He was quiet for a moment and then looked back up at me. "I'm starving. How about some lunch er.. dinner? And then you can explain why exactly Ferret-face is playing chess on your bed when I could have sworn we got rid of the wanker." I laughed and swatted at his arm before calling for Pomfrey, both of us ignoring Draco's death glare.
- April 16 - 1998 - Seventh Year -
Another week in limbo. Another week of Hermione poking and prodding at us like some persistent mother hen. I was nearly ready to tell her to shut her bloody mouth, but then I found myself alone in the dorm with Harry and my opportunity to amend the silent treatment stood shaking me in frustration. "Can we talk?"
He didn't look at me, rather at his old, balled up pairs of dirty socks as he prepared his laundry. "Nothing to talk about. He's practically destroyed you, nearly killed your boyfriend, and yet, you're still running right back to him like some kind of masochist. I don't want to stand by and watch you crumble again."
I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose. "Look, I know you're trying to protect me, but believe me, I can handle myself. You don't understand this, and maybe you never will, but I'm in love with him. No matter how much I fight it and how much I hate it, I can't stop. When he touches me, it's like the entire world falls away. I know everyone says that and it sounds stupid and all, but it's true. I feel needed when I'm with him. I'm not just the throw-away or the forgotten. Sure, he pretends not to care, but when we're together, I'm the only thing he sees. I love that. I need that."
He paused his sorting and met my eye for the first time in a week. "You are not a throw-away. You're needed. You're loved. I need you. Hermione needs you. You're family needs you. None of us would be able to function without you. Don't you know that?"
"I know, Harry. I know you need me. It's just… It's different with Draco. I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be when I'm with him. Like I'm home."
"How? He's an evil git who's horrible to you."
"I can't explain it; it's just the way I feel. Can you accept that? I thought you said you would."
He looked back at his laundry and glared so hard that I was shocked that it hadn't erupted into flames yet. We stood there in that silence that was so thick my chest felt heavy and my eyes watered. And then he looked back up at me with eyes so dull with sadness that it made me ache. "No. I thought I could, but I can't. I love you too much to sit back and let him hurt you. I'm sorry, Ron." And then he abandoned the laundry and left quietly without looking back. My heart clenched and I felt myself break into a thousand pieces like shattered glass. I fell to my knees and began to cry for the first time in almost a year.
- March 7 - 1998 - Seventh Year -
I was sitting in the pane of a high window in the Owlery, stroking Hedwig's feathers while Pig rustled about in my hair and twittered in glee. It was a Hogsmeade day, but I hadn't felt right up for going, with Justin staying backto do catch up work. He had ushered me out of the library an hour before, claiming me to be a distraction to his work, and so I had gone up to visit Pig and sit in peace for a while. It had been steadily drizzling for a while, but an enchantment kept the owl perches dry, and so I could sit mere inches from a waterfall and listen to the symphony of droplets hitting the roof.
I sighed and rested my head against the wall, not listening to the twisters from above as Pig flew down into my lap to avoid being squished. My mind was distracted with ways to deter Malfoy from calling his goons on Justin again. My outburst in the hallway about our past affairs had only fueled his anger, and I had been receiving anonymous threats all week. "Like I give a bloody fuck if he puts the Cruciatus Curse on me. As long as he stays away from Justin…" I muttered to myself, earning a curious upside-down look from Hedwig. I heard footsteps echo off the walls, but didn't glance to see who it was, probably someone using a school owl.
"There are ways to assure his safety." My head shot around to look at him, standing to my right with his hands behind his back. He was dressed in pristine trousers and a black turtleneck, looking as impeccable as always. I glared at him.
"And how is that?"
"All you would have to do is stop ignoring my inquiries and end this bloody relationship. It's beneath you and it's getting tiresome."
I felt my body tense up with anger, "Beneath me? Justin's only beneath me in bed."
He rolled his eyes and snickered in indignation, "Please! He's a fucking Mudblood! And a Hufflepuff! He's so beneath you, you could wipe the floor with him." He settled a bit and ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head, "No, this is unacceptable and it ends now. You'll be at the tapestry in half an hour and we'll forget the filthy little git ever happened."
My body was so tense I was shaking and my hand clenched instinctively. Hedwig must have sensed my anger because she flew away quickly, followed by Pig. He was staring at me impatiently, waiting for my agreement, I suppose, and something snapped. I lunged at him, swinging a fist to connect with his face, but he snatched my wrist before I could make contact and twisted it behind my back, shoving me against the wall and pressing his body against my back to keep me in place. I was still shaking and furious and my breath was coming out in frustrated pants. "Let me go, Ferret-face. I don't want you to touch me with your slimy Slytherin hands."
"Now, now, Weasley. Flattery will get you nowhere. Tell me you'll be at the tapestry." He began licking and biting at my neck, teasing my heated skin. It was all I could do not to moan at the contact I had been fantasizing about for months.
"No," I growled, determined not to let him get to me.
He bit down rather hard and then smoothed the pain away with his tongue, "Weasley, that is not an acceptable answer."
"How about I shove my acceptable answer up your ass?"
"Only if you come too," he purred and I could feel his smirk against my neck.
"Fuck you, Malfoy."
"That's the idea, glad you're finally catching on." His free hand began to stroke my hair and I tried not to relax beneath him, but touching my hair was always the gentlest thing he ever did to me and I craved his touch as though I'd been going through withdrawals. "Now, when I go down to see the red horse, am I going to find you there, or do Crabbe and Goyle have to 'accidentally' send Fletchly down another flight of stairs?"
I closed my eyes in indecision, wanting desperately to give in to him and fuck him right there on the Owlery floor, but then that would hurt Justin to know I wasn't faithful. But again, maybe if I agreed, Justin would no longer be under threat. "If I go, will it stop?"
"As long as you stop letting that Mudblood touch you."
"I'm not going to stop seeing Justin." He twisted my arm up painfully, but I resisted to moan of pain. "Malfoy, this isn't just about sex, you know. I like Justin. I like being able to hold his hand in the hallway, kiss him hello, go on dates with him. He treats me like his boyfriend and not some bloody possession, and I like being treated like I matter."
"Who the fuck cares about bloody hand-holding?" he growled, entirely missing the point.
"I do! I like being told that I'm appreciated, I like being acknowledged. I like knowing that I'm the only one he touches. I never had that security with you."
"That's because we aren't a sodding couple, you fuckwit! I can do as I please. I don't need to answer to you." The anger in his voice turned into a hautiness and his fingers loosened a bit against my hand. I took it as my opportunity.
"Then I shouldn't have to answer to you, either. Let me go!" I tugged my arm away and shoved my elbow into his ribs, causing him to back away a bit, gripping his side. I turned to glare at him, "I'm finished with you, Draco. I'm tired of this game. Leave me, my boyfriend, my friends, and my sister alone. If you touch them again, I'm going to inform Dumbledore about your Mark." I didn't wait for his reply before storming out of the Owlery, more furious at him than I had been in a while.
I calmed down a bit as I made my way down to the library to find Justin. He was sitting at the table where I had left him, surrounded by stacks of books and scattered parchments. I smiled when he looked up at me and went to sit next to him. "I thought I told you to go away so I could get some work done." He cocked an eyebrow at me.
I just smiled coyly and leaned into his chair, "I couldn't stay away that long. Besides, I thought you could use a break." I moved my mouth to his and he tasted so sweet that when he pulled away after a minute, I held his lips, unwilling to stop the sensation he gave me.
He pulled away slightly and rubbed noses with me, out foreheads still touching, "Maybe a little break wouldn't hurt." I grinned and kissed him again, all thoughts of Malfoy floating away.
A/N: and once more with enthusiasm: "THANK YOU CASSIE!"
