Book One of the Annwn Ryu Cycle
Chapter XVI
"Madness Only Shown"
Cayanne sat reluctantly in the comfortable chair, eyes on Xavier as he listened to Scott explain his discovery.
Half of her just wanted to get up, leave, forget this had ever happened.
The other half was confused, wanting to at least understand the thing that the X-Man said was making her crazy.
That thought made her wince inwardly.
The idea of being - insane - shook her. She didn't feel insane, but then, what was insane supposed to feel like?
Her thoughts were all knotted and shuddering within her when she felt Xavier's eyes on her.
She turned to regard him. "What?" she demanded, instinctively defensive.
"Annorexia nervosa." He sounded thoughtful, a bit worried, and slightly paternal. All factors that brought a scowl to the young mutant's face. "Cayanne, do you know what it is?"
"Non. But betcha gonna break out de fancy vocab'lary." she grumbled, hiding her troubled gaze.
"It is a condition of self-image." His expression was kind, compassionate.
"Crazies." shrugged the young Cajun, trying to make light of her sudden fear.
"Not at all." Xavier's voice was soothing. "A disorder, yes, but insanity - no." He leaned slightly over his desk, regarding the teen-ager with a gentle, but firm gaze. "It means that we will have to watch your weight, and plan meals that you must eat a certain amount of."
Cayanne crossed her arms, stubbornly. "What if I not hungry?" she demanded.
"Perhaps we can find some foods to stimulate your appitite."
"If Papa cook, I eat." she said, firmly.
"You cannot eat only your father's cooking. You need variety."
Cayanne's shadowed eyes regarded him with unyeilding will. "Not eat jus' anything, some stuff not stay down." she finally admitted, in a low voice.
Scott put a gentle hand on her shoulder, and Xavier smiled gently. "Then Hank can doubtless be of great help. Perhaps we should speak to him tommarrow?" he suggested, kindly.
Cayanne took a deep breath. Then, "After classes."
"Of course."
The teen-ager rose then, and left at speed, leaving behind a painful secret - and Scott and Xavier regarding one another with no little relief.
Strike.
Parry.
Spin.
Dodge.
Crack!
Cayanne swirled to a halt, quarterstaff at half-rest, as Logan gestured time.
Shoulders heaving, the teen-ager bowed to her teacher, a slight grin on her face.
"Yer still leadin' with yer left shoulder." said the older mutant, returning the bow as sensei to student.
Cayanne's shrug was matched with her swiveling onto her right foot, spinning the staff easily over in her other hand. "We try again?" she asked, bouncing from foot to foot.
"Once more." agreed Logan - and charged her, claws extended.
With a keen awareness of her position, Cayanne leaped straight up, swinging her staff in a wide arc as she went airborne. It was better to be up than down, she knew, and if Logan could get a grip on her the sparring match was over. She lacked the leverage to throw him effectively - especially backed into a corner.
Using the muscular shoulder of her teacher as a springboard, the agile Cajun flipped over him, coming down just as Logan's fist punched inward. The staff cracked against his wrist, as the other hand came around, knocking the teen-ager headlong.
Rolling frantically to avoid either a kick or blow, she swung up, at the unprotected belly.
Logan caught the staff between his claws, locking it in place as he spun on his heel.
Cayanne rode the impetus of the swing, bouncing off the wall to arc into Logan foot-first - but she had to relinquish her staff to make the manuver.
Now unarmed, she danced and dodged out of Logan's reach, until finally he swept her feet, sending her to the floor as his claws stopped an inch from her face.
"Time." he rumbled.
"Now dat move I never see." she gasped out, sweat pouring down her face.
"Good try, darlin'." said Logan, hunkering down in front of her. "You're gettin' better."
Cayanne simply flopped backwards, arms akimbo, breathing hard. "Not good 'nough yet, oui?" she commented.
Sitting down himself, the mutant known as Wolverine withdrew a stogie and lit it, watching his student with amusement.
"Somethin' on yer mind?"
"Yeah. Ever' one worry 'cause I not eat much."
"Darlin', you don't eat period." Logan's expression was neutral, not accusing, and the teen-ager opened one eye to regard him a moment. "Even I gotta eat." And he grinned then, toothily, welcoming the slight smile he got in response.
"Dis different." Cayanne rolled to her stomach, uttering a sigh of pent-up frustration. "I just not hungry. Why it matter, anyhow? I not gonna waste away!" She lighty punched the tatami, more in frustration than real anger, then continuted, "Feel like ever' time I look at food, stomach do imitation of de swamp."
Logan lifted a bushy eyebrow. "Swamp?"
"Yeah. Murky, hidden, and way too active fer a dark place."
The older mutant chuckled at the description. "Well, darlin', try this. Eat what you like, but don't stuff yourself. Tell Gumbo..."
"Remy."
Logan regarded her with another unreadable gaze.
"Papa's name is Remy." Cayanne raised her chin in a stubborn line.
"Tell him whatcha like. We'll go from there." He grinned suddenly, giving the girl's shoulder a light squeeze. "Ever had sushi?"
Cayanne followed Logan's graceful movements, flowing though the movements of the kata. Focusing her mind and body's movements, the Cajun teen-ager found some measure of peace in the rythmic, symmetric movements.
Chaos was an everyday thing in her life, and most of the time she most of the time Cayanne didn't just ride the wave - she surfed it. But this idea of anorexia shook her, despite her outward dismissal, and she needed time to sift it though her inner senses.
The kata served an important role in training, Logan had taught her. It was much like the stretching exercises done by athletes after a workout, to ease back to a regular heart-rate and such. But a kata eased one back into normal life. It was important, and Cayanne instinctively grasped that fact.
Finishing, she felt calmer, but still a bit shaken.
She had to talk to Xavier. She'd promised.
And Cayanne LeBeau kept her promises.
Remy was seated at the kitchen table, holding Marie's hand in his, speaking in quiet tones, but he looked up and smiled as Cayanne paused to grin at her tall father, then hugged him tight in greeting.
Turning to Marie, she said impishly, "Keep Papa outta trouble, oui?" And bounded up the stairs in with a laugh.
Xavier and Jean were both trying to be kind - Cayanne knew that - but she was not as fragile as they seemed to think.
Or was she?
Gaaaah! Dis makin' me nuts! If I not dere already! she groaned to herself.
"Lemme get dis straight. You want me "talk dis out" wit Byron, oui?"
"Well...yes." replied Xavier, carefully. He watched the volitle young Cajun neutrally, while very gently letting her sense his concern. Letting it lay on the outside of his mind, not pressing against her's. She watched him, eyes shielded behind the glasses she wore everywhere.
In some ways, she reminded him of Scott. Hidden behind a careful facade, an agile and hungry mind absorbed and analyzed, always eager for more.
"I talk t' Rafe easier." grumbled Cayanne, her hands tight on the chair.
"Then by all means, share your concerns with him." Xavier encouraged, feeling somewhat bemused. Once Stryfe had been among the X-Men's deadliest, most merciless foes. Now he was one of Cayanne's teachers, and it was no secret the irrepressable Cajun loved the telekenetic dearly.
Jean was startled, but agreed whole-heartedly.
"Fine. I do de diet t'ing." was the growled comment. "If dat what it take."
"You are not insane, Cayanne." Xavier found that concept important to enforce. "Hardly. You simply have a slightly distorted image of yourself, one that can be helped."
"Mirror, mirror, on de wall..." quoted the teen-ager, making a face.
"Cayanne!" but Jean was smiling.
"I sup'ose next t'ing ya want is fer me t' do de "go inna town" t'ing wit de others."
"Such outings are aids to growth."
"Bah! So far on dese outin's, I been near smooshed! Call me a bit careful, den!" she chuckled.
"Cayanne!" It was Xavier's turn.
"Not give up sparrin' wit Logan, or time with Papa." Cayanne made that very clear.
"Certainly not." agreed the Professor.
"Fine. I go talk t' Byron." With that, Cayanne bounced to her feet, and was out the door before either adult could comment.
There was a long pause.
"Well, Cayanne did keep her word." said Xavier, dryly.
Jean burst out laughing, sending a mental message to Marie and Ororo to add one more to their Saterday movie and shopping excursion with the older kids.
.
