Here with me

Why Me

Why me? Why did Alucard have to become infatuated with me? Why did I have to be so cruel. Why did I have to take on the part of HELLSING! Integra questioned her mind as she dug her head deeper into her arm. She sat back. Her hair was a mess. Strands tangled with strands and lunged behind her. Even her bangs were behind her head now. Her shirt was open down to her collar bone or maybe button more. Her pants where sagging down a bit and felt weird.

Integra reached for her drawer. Damn Alucard he had taken every single last cigar. How would she calm her nerves now? She had run out of liquor in her office already. She growled to herself as she brushed her hands on her desk. She swiped everything off of it now. She leaned forward and began to cry again. All this she didn't get. She had been brought up to hard as a child and now no longer wanted to fall in love. Time when she was a little girl even if her father still told her the business comes first, she still remember dreaming of her prince charming. She smiled as she remembered thinking about her knight in shining armor. She found her knight alright. Her endless dark night with the many red eyes that held her in his dark embrace. He was evil itself yet she loved everything about him.

Integra looked up at the picture of her father. Her father would have had him locked up again if he was alive to see the things he did to his daughter. The passionate kisses, the strokes of his hands. Oh she loved them all as being a woman. She sighed. What was there to do? Surely he saw the hurt look in her eyes like she had seen in his. Oh that look? She had never seen Alucard look so hurt. She remembered he was a bit disappointed once, when he had brought to her police girl and she got mad at him for it. She felt his expression change to a slight frown but that was the closest thing.

Pushing off her desk Integra reached into her draw once more. She pulled out of it a silver sharp letter opener. The moon light shined off of it hurting her eyes. She flinched at the pain and put the opener down. Integra slowly took her glasses off and placed them on her desk. She reached back for the letter opener. She laughed as she felt the cool touch from the blade on her wrist.

Her laugh started as a small chuckle but it moved into a loud laugh. She was either laughing because she thought she had jumped without Alucard and was falling into insanity or because it was funny. She was laughing because it was funny. It was funny how she, the great Sir Integra Windgates Hellsing was failing everything. She was failing her father, her friends, her corporation. Everything was falling around her as she sat their on her high horse still barking out order.

She had failed so much she was resulting to suicide to fix it all. Ha! That was a load of crap. Suicide her? What noble woman would commit to such a sin? She started laughing hysterically now. She took it someone heard because there was a knock on her door. She ignored it and took the opener. She slowly brought it down on her wrist. :SLIT: blood slowly seeped from the wound. She brought it up to her mouth and slowly licked it. She felt nothing special. Why was Alucard so in love with her blood?

Maybe It was never the blood. Integra stopped. Maybe it was a cover up. No. Alucard is that clever, but he would never do such a thing...would he? Integra's thoughts were interrupted as she felt a sudden pain. She watched as the drapes closed around her. She was stunned a bit. She didn't think she had cut that deep. SHE CUT! What was she doing? Everything seemed like she didn't know what she was doing but yet she was still doing it. Why did she cut herself? Oh yes now she remembered. She did it to see how it felt, to try to escape the pain.

Integra shot her gaze up as a shadow loomed over her. She felt herself being pushed hard against the chair. She felt her breath coming in short paints. She thought it was Alucard, or at least she hoped it was.

"Alucard, get off of me! Now!"

She yelled, but her voice was loosing its strong hold and was slowly failing her. There was no answer from the black figure. She felt them press harder onto her chest. She wanted to scream out in pain but did not. She felt hands roam over her. They where rough and didn't feel like Alucard's. Maybe it wasn't Alucard. She tried her hardest to push the figure off but she began to feel weak,

"ALUCARD!"

She roared out with her last ounce of strength. If the shadow looming over her could laugh it would have snickered at her. It would have made her beg for mercy. But a smile managed to cross her face. She would not be the one to beg for mercy. A gun shot rang out in the darkness. Integra fell off the chair and slumped limply upon the floor. The shadow was blown threw the head with a bullet but it didn't hit Integra.

The shadow didn't scream but a low ear piercing ring was heard as blue light shot form it and it vanished. Integra knew instantly what that shadow was but she felt far too weak to even open her eyes once more. She heard her name being called but she didn't know who it belonged to. She tried to open her eyes but her vision was blurred as she saw it red. Red. She felt her heart skip but she wasn't for sure who it was. She felt a sudden pain in her arm.

Her cut! It never stopped bleeding! Was that why she felt so weak? No it couldn't be. She had slowly killed herself. Her body felt light all of a sudden. Like she was flying threw air. She allowed her body to float. Cool water rushed around her as a cool breeze ran over her skin that was outside the water. Her skin grew goose bumps. She smiled in delight. She found herself sitting in a chair on the balcony of an ever better view then her Hellsing house. The air was thick but cool. It was hot and the moon showed bright. IT was a summer night. She leaned back into someone's embrace. She saw the black arms snake around her body. How she wanted to tell him she was sorry. She turned to do so but was caught up in his arms. She snuggled against his neck as he did hers. She sighed in relief as she felt the hot kisses reach up her collar bone to her neck then below her jaw. He went back down. That's when she felt the pain. He bit into her neck. She slowly called out his name but her voice failed her. She felt her world blur as her life was being drained out of her.

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"AH!" she cried out as she opened her eyes. She was sitting in her room with an IV to her arm and a blood pack to the other. She leaned her head back as she heard the soft sounds of the heart machine and breathing machine. She looked around. Her body felt sore. It was dark in her room. Her drapes were shut tight so she had no clue what time it was. She felt dizzy for a second but it all was cured. Her vision was blurry, her glasses were gone. She tried to look down at herself in her bed. She was propped up on white pillows and the covers were pulled up a little more then her waist.

"You're up."

The voice rang. Integra felt the urge to cry out for him but she didn't. She saw Police girl sitting beside Alucard in the two chairs by her bed. She nodded. Her throat felt rare she thought she could speak. She looked down at her mouth. There was a tube going in. She coughed now that she realized it. She started coughing hard. Alucard was the first to stand up. He placed a hand behind her back and the other on her chest. She took in a deep breath.

"Hold it in."

He said. She did so and he pulled the tube form her mouth. She leaned forward and coughed more while trying to get her hands to move to caress her neck. It failed. Her arm felt dead. It hurt and tingled. Alucard stayed beside her. He pulled the cord from on her bed and placed it on the machine.

"What...argh...happ..ened?"

She coughed. Her voice was hoarse and her throat dry. She felt her tongue beginning to melt as she tried to speak with no saliva. Alucard pushed her down gently bended over. He brushed the bangs from her face and kissed her forehead.

"Don't talk, don't move. Just relax."

She felt the tremble in his voice.

"The time before, I knew you'd make it. I knew why you had done it. This time...if...I...I never thought you would take your own life!"

He said his voice trying to stay calm. Integra lied there. She stared up at the ceiling. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything was okay. She needed to. But she couldn't. Not while attacked to the machines. Alucard pulled away mumbling sorry. He turned and whispered something to Seras. Seras nodded. She told Integra she was happy she was awoken and alive and then she left. Integra stared at the back of Alucard. She looked back down at her machines.

Damn this all to hell! Who do they think they are! I am INTEGRA HELLSING! I Will not sit back in bed while I now things are happening! I will not! Integra cried in her mind. She brought her arm that she could feel over and ripped out the needles in her other arm. she gasped in pain as she did so. She reached for the other arm and pulled those out as well. Alucard turned around quickly. He tried to stop her but she wouldn't. She told him to stay were he was.

Integra reached for the needle in her neck then the heart monitor on her finger. Finally she withdrew the blood pressure arm holder and pulled the sheets off of her. She lied there in a nurse gone. She grabbed hold of the sheets and pushed herself to sit up.

"Integra what are you doing!"

Alucard franticly said trying to get her to stop. Integra shook her head. She peeled herself off of the bed and swung her legs over the side. She cried out in pain as she felt the air being pushed out of her. She jerked her head back then moved forward as she slid herself off the bed. She fell on her legs but used the bed to pull herself up. Alucard watched in horror but it soon became his love.

Alucard reached over and pulled her to him. She felt the sudden jerk but her body welcomed it. He wrapped her in a warm embrace her as legs trembled below her. She fought for her balance and the right to her body. She felt sore, her throat was raw and her head spun, but she would not give up.

"Help me to my office!"

She barked order with a sore throat. She reached for it and flinched in the pain. Alucard looked at her. She stared up at him with a determined look in her eyes.

"NOW ALUCARD!"

She yelled at him. Her throat threatening to give out on her. Alucard nodded and picked her up in his arms. He held her there for a moment. She looked so worn out, but it was no time to sit back and watch as everything she worked so hard to achieve and protect was ruined right before her eyes. Alucard bent down and kissed her. This time, though Integra grabbed his shirt collar and deepen the kiss. She pushed him back and glared at him. With a smile Alucard walked down the hall and back to her office.

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Strong willed and strong minded. No wonder Alucard loves her. I kinda took what she did from a movie I saw once, but Integra is a determined woman i am sure she could have done that too if she wanted.