Kids Next Door
Operation: A.P.P.R.E.N.T.I.C.E.
Chapter 10
"Lou, I think we need to talk," Patricia said in a unwavering voice into a tarnish telephone.
"Look, I left you eleven years ago," the Tolienator didn't have any particular desire to talk to his ex-wife who hid the fact she carried and gave birth to his offspring for eleven years.
"Listen to me, it isn't about 'us' or about me," growled Patricia. "It's about Luke, the boy has been sleeping almost all day for the last week! He only gets up to use the bathroom and when I try to get him to eat something."
"Maybe he got cooties from being around you too long," the Tolienator smiled, he was enjoying being mean.
"SHUT UP!" shouted the now frustrated woman, she took three deep breaths, like her therapist always told her to, "Lou, I called the doctor Luke normally sees, the doc thinks that Luke is suffering from a psychologi-something aliment."
"And so you want to give me full custody?" Asked Lou hopefully, you could almost see his face light up like a Christmas Tree.
"No! I think he must've overheard us and seen you or somethin'," Patricia said. "This is all your fault Lou, I should've known that you'd find some way of goofing MY son up too, I never should've let you find out about him!"
"Yeah, I'm sorry, I guess he could've seen me," the man who called himself the Tolienator said calmly. "Maybe it is best if I come over and we explain things to him, ya know, so he doesn't worry so much about it?"
"I guess, I don't like it though," the mother of the boy who formerly was operative Numbah Thirteen of the Kids Next Door, sighed and paused. "We should both agree to not argue in front of him."
"Okay," Lou said, stopping caring after getting a semi-agreement about it. After getting that letter, he had thought about being a dad. After meeting his son, he couldn't stop thinking of all the things he wanted to tell the boy, you know the old fashioned 'don't eat the cafeteria's meatloaf', 'always wear a jockstrap if given the option', and most importantly 'don't marry women named Patricia.' Yes, the Tolienator was going to have a big smile on his face when he explains that one.
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"Lukey-poo?" a familiar female voice woke up the eleven year old lad.
"I'm tired Ma, let me sleep," it was the same line he'd be using for the past week, it had worked previously.
"Luke you got a visitor today though," Luke's mother said in her most 'encouraging' voice, "don't you want to get up and meet him?"
Luke grumbled, he didn't want to get up, he hated being away, he just wanted to loose himself in unconsciousness. He'd get up this time though, things weren't playing through his head, he was still tired enough. He hoped he'd be able to go back to bed before that scene with those odd kids began to replay again.
"Is he getting up? I can come back another time if that would be better," a man in a pale yellow button-down shirt said softly.
"Shh, here he is!" hissed Luke's mom. Then in a sweet and cheerful motherly voice, she chirped, "Luke, sweetie, I'd like you to meet your father."
He couldn't believe she dragged him out of bed for this. That's right; she didn't know he was there that night. Or was it that day? His mind had been in a fog for the past week. He figured it was best to just go with the flow, "Hey Dad what's up?"
"Luke," that word still felt awkward for the 30-something year old man to say, heck it felt awkward for him to be addressing a child without threatening them. This parenting thing was going to have to take some getting used to. For the time being he figured he'd just imitate Mr. Boss, well Mr. Boss and a bit of his own mother, he liked his mother. "Your m-mother tells me that you've been not feeling well. Do you want to talk about it?"
Luke looked at the man, who was forcing much too much of a smile, and nodded. He hoped that someone would lecture him or something- he didn't want to talk; he just wanted to go back to bed.
"Son, I realize finding out that you have a live father all of a sudden has to be a shock, I'm sure you have plenty of questions for us," Luke's mother said, after several minutes of awkward silence. "Feel free to ask away!"
"What do you do for a living?" Luke said in a flat bored tone. He did want to know, he knew that he'd met the man, couldn't remember what he did before.
The Tolienator turned a flattering shade of pink that contrasted nicely with his shirt. He had hoped that question wouldn't come up, at least not in front of Patricia. "Well you see, I work for a Boss, and he does stuff."
"What kind of stuff Lou?" asked Luke's mother. She was wondering what he did, after all, a percentage of how much money he made would be given to her for child support.
"Just normal corporate work," the Tolienator, who in honesty worked as a Supervillian under another Supervillian named Mr. Boss, said quickly. His ex-wife's interest in his career sent chills down his spine. "Would you like to come to work with me someday Luke?"
"Sure, I guess," Luke wasn't even sure why he agreed to it. He asked a few more mundane questions, just to get his parents to stop looking at him like he was about to explode or something. When he finally was allowed to return to bed and sleep away everything, he was informed that tomorrow he would be accompanying his father to work.
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The sun was just rising when Luke was awoken by a loud knock. He heard his mother telling him that it was time for him to get up, as he was going to go with his father to his father's work today. He got up, got dressed, ate breakfast, and met his father, oddly enough in the same close he saw the man wearing yesterday. His father shuttled him out of the house before too many pleasantries were exchanged.
The father-son duo hoped into a nice looking black car. Much to Luke's surprise; however, his father hopped into the backseat too. When he looked forward at the driver's seat he saw that there was a chauffeur. When he looked back at his dad with a confused look on his face he saw that his father had changed clothes. The Tolienator sat in his usual yellow-body suit, complete with toilet paper attachments and toilet seat around his neck.
"Oh yeah, that's right, I remember now," Luke began, suddenly recalling the time when his father appeared before him and announced that they were father and son. He smiled briefly, remembering the surprise, and that it was nice to finally meet his other parent. But still parts were foggy- he remembered that there was something about him that his father reacted to, something he didn't seem to like. He couldn't, for the life of him, remember what it was.
"To HQ, that means 'HeadQuarters'," the Tolienator quips acting as if he did this everyday and was a stereotypical rich guy. Then he turned to Luke and explained, "Mr. Boss lent me his car and driver since your mom wouldn't really approve of my normal mode of transportation."
