Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything in HP's universe. Do not sue me, or I may bite you.

Author's Note: I AM SOOOOOO STOOOOPID. *Smack self with troll's club* I must apologize! Two days ago ff.net went haywire and said my story was 'not found'. I went paranoid, and in my frustration, worry and fear I did a pathetic attempt to restore the story. I uploaded the 4 chapters AGAIN. Ff.net didn't really uploaded them, but added my chapters number AND moved me to top of list coz it thought I have updated. Which I hadn't until NOW. I am so sorry and will apologize again to those who thought I had uploaded 4 chapters in one go. Please forgive my stupidity, which is just there. I AM JUST STOOPID!

Now, to my beloved reviewers:

OliverWoodFan03: Thank you, I am so delighted! I laughed a lot too reading other's Hermione/Severus fics coz it's usually very funny, this pairing just seems to trigger me.

Kryptonite: Hehe, sorry about the cliffhanger! I do not like reading cliffhangers, but when I started to write...I totally understand why people keep writing them. Very funny thinking people's reactions reading one haha. Please don't hit me! *cowers* Glad you like the story!

Lily of the Shadow: I will try my best! Hope you like this chapter.

tomzgurl77: I too am a Hermione/Severus shipper! They rule!! YEAH!!! Ahem, hope you like this chapter as well!

Geistesstorunghoffnungen: Thank you for coming back! Am I that cruel?? Muahahahaha!! Anyway, you are the first one to say my story is funny. Thx!

bLiX: It's not just you, all those madly in love with Severus, like me, wants to have more from his PoV! I promise to do that more often, after Hermione's struggle. Glad you like the story!

She-who-must-not-be-named: Thank you! *hugs you*

TeaRoses: Thx! Glad that you think it is not too OOC. I will get on with Severus' PoV later, I promise!

Whew! 8 reviews a chapter! Does this mean that is the best chapter so far? I dunno... anywayz, on with the story!

----------

Why am I doing this? Hermione questioned herself for the zillionth time. She was about thirty feet behind a particular black figure and they were walking down a not very crowded corridor. It was lunch break and students would normally gather together and gossip a bit, but naturally everyone avoided Snape who was now walking in his graceful, long strides, his black cloak swishing and billowing behind him.

Hermione didn't want to be spotted, but she didn't want to lose him either. She shifted her ever-heavier bag- stuffed with thick reference books- to her left shoulder, and tried her best to keep up with his pace. "What's the hurry, can't he just take a slow walk and enjoy an idle afternoon?" She complained to no one. Harry and Ron was nowhere to be seen. Have I told them off again? Probably...but it could just be Quidditch... Hermione tried to remember what happened but her effort was in vain. All she could remember was lunch... and then she was following Snape all over the castle. Why am I following him? Why why why?!

In the meantime Snape was in his usual foul mood. His eyes kept throwing daggers at the students, and to those who didn't get the clue, he sneaked up to them and snarled into their unsuspecting ears, ordering them to get out of his sight. How can he be so nasty, those first-years were only chatting and certainly that won't bother him much? Hmmm, but maybe it does- he might not want them to remind him his... loneliness? He didn't have any friends, did he? He personally made sure that no one can stand him, honestly... Hermione bit her lip thoughtfully, and the fact that she was actually thinking about him from a different angle troubled her. Sigh...I really should have spent my lunch break in the library...

She snapped back into reality, only to find herself in a deserted corridor and just in time to see the last hem of Snape's cloak vanished behind a corner. Her legs followed instinctively though her mind kept telling her to go back. She turned around the corner and bumped headfirst into an extremely hard wall. "OWWW!" Her eyes watered and her head reeled from the impact. She rubbed the tip of her nose, which was reddening fast.

"Granger. What a pleasant meeting," a not-so-pleasant voice came from above. Hermione stood dazed, evidently what she had bumped into was not a wall, but rather, Snape. She wasn't sure which was worse.

"Good afternoon Professor," she managed, still rubbing her sore nose.

"It would be better if you're not stalking me," sneered Snape, glaring down at the auburn-haired girl.

"I am NOT stalking you sir!" Hermione said shrilly, her face turning into a brilliant shade of pink. Not only had my legs acted on their own will but I had to be caught. Oh God my life is SO over.

"Oh is that it? I personally consider anyone trailing me silently all over the grounds for approximately an hour stalking," said Snape cynically. "I have enough stupid little fantasizing stalkers to last a lifetime without you joining, Miss Granger."

Hermione blushed even deeper, her head so low that her chin touched her robes. Self-conscious, arrogant, insufferably conceited git, she thought, searching deep down her soul for dismal, fury, frustration, disdainfulness- she found none. Anxiousness, yes, and plenty of embarrassment, but she could not bring herself to rage. This puzzled her, but she knew this was not a convenient time to ponder. "I really didn't stalk you professor, I was just, well, here-"

"This corridor only leads to a boys' bathroom and my private rooms." Snape interrupted, twitching the corner of his mouth, "I sincerely hope that your destination's not the former... then you are going to my room, I presume?"

Hermione didn't know what to say to that, so she stared at her own feet and suddenly she caught sight of her Muggle Powerpuff-girls watch. "Oh my goodness I am late for Defense Against the Dark Arts!" She grabbed her bag and sprinted down the other way, forgetting to bid her Potions Master goodbye.

Snape watched pensively as the scarlet shape diminished at the other end of the long hallway, before sweeping into his room.

----------

"Where have you been?" Demanded Ron as Hermione reached the DADA classroom panting and sweating. "You weren't in the Library!"

Hermione gasped and tried in vain to catch her breath. She reached into her robes and dug out a bottle. After swallowing two blue pellets, she looked much better and color was slowly coming back to her whitened lips.

"What is that?" Ron asked, alarmed.

"Same old, same old," Hermione waved a dismissive hand, "Just asthma pills, nothing serious-"

"You never told me you have asthma-"

"I have, as a matter of fact," said Hermione flatly, sitting down. "Come on sit over... oh don't worry Ron, I'll be fine as long as I don't sprint like I just did and my trachea is not exposed to cold winds..."

She was interrupted by Professor Moody- the real Moody, he had taken the DADA job only after Dumbledore's reassurance that he'd be perfectly safe in Hogwarts- who entered at that moment. He looked glum as usual, and motioned the class to quiet before starting his lecture croakily.

"Today you would learn and be put under a new spell," his magical eye wobbled slightly, "this one was not an Unforgivable, but it was nearly as bad if used by Dark Wizards- The Ministry would have banned it if not for its medical uses- the Exorcising Curse, also known as the Soul-drawal Ritual, would kill the subject in a long but painless way. It was not that popular amongst the Death Eaters nowadays, as it would not bring any kind of pain to the subject, and could be resisted and reversed if the subject had a strong mind... but still when one was put under the Exorcising Curse his physical body could be weak and unattended for up to twelve hours- depending on the caster's power- and could be used for numerous wicked purposes.

"Now I would like to put you under the Exorcising Curse- don't worry Mr. Longbottom, this one's modified, instead of dying the worst you would is faint. Remember to clear your minds, and focus on what is important- SPIRITSO EXORCICUS!"

Hermione barely had time to complain that they were not yet prepared, when a blanket of heavy dark fog consumed her and her classmates. She was forced to close her eyes shut as the fog seemed to be accompanied by sleet- she could feel herself twirling uncontrollably against a strong force, as if she was in a large barrel rolling down an endless slope- her mind jumbled and for a moment (no one could be sure how long, but it sure felt like ages to Hermione) she didn't know where she was, or anything else for that matter.

As suddenly as the tumbling had happened, it stopped. Hermione shook her head, and got to her feet. Only that she didn't feel like she had feet, and there was no ground to stand on anyway. She felt like floating. She opened her eyes and blinked. Nothing. All she could see was a darkness too dark to describe, which seemed to stretch on and on and on...she had a sudden thought that she maybe in outer space, only there were no stars.

"Harry! Ron! ANYONE!" she tried to shout, but no sound came out of her throat. She tried again, and could feel her eyes getting hot as still nothing came. It was nothing like she had experienced- not even in first year when she went down the trapdoor with Harry and Ron, at least they were there- now she was alone, floating, in this totally mysterious place. She put a hand- assuming she still had a hand- in front of her face and waved frantically, but nothing moved. It could be the dense mist, or it could be that I have no hand. She'd rather believe in the former. She could feel the urge to cry again, but suppressed it with all the might she could muster. I'm not a crying baby, crying won't get me anywhere! but the thick cloud seemed to be discouraging, making her more depressed and despaired by minute...Much like being close to a Dementor...

All of a sudden she could notice something small shining ahead. It was indeed a very tiny light, but it was light nonetheless. Hermione stared at it for a second, then ran- floated- in full pace. That was her only hope, and as she drew nearer to the light, she could feel the nightmarish mist thinning, and there was now joy filling in her chest. The beam of light grew steadily brighter, and she willed her body to move faster, faster, FASTER! There in the light would be bliss, she knew. She could hear someone calling her from the light, welcoming, warm voices... one of them was very familiar, one that would still appear in her dreams- the voice was Cedric Diggory's. She paused for a moment, looking up, and saw Cedric waving and gesturing her to go to him. There was something very important about Cedric, but she couldn't quite remember what- so she just bit her lip and moved on.

However, someone was tugging her, she couldn't float any further. She turned around in frustration, and saw silhouettes moving. She could make out her parents, Harry, Ron and the Weasleys, and some of her professors, but only barely. Her father was pulling her elbow, and her mother had tears streaming down her cheeks. Ron was looking away, but Harry was looking at her, begging silently. The professors were all looking grim. She couldn't understand any of this, couldn't they see that hope is just a few steps away? Why aren't they letting her go? Her father was tugging her tighter, but she struggled. The darkness behind them was beyond scary. There was a voice now urging her quietly, "Move on, move on, don't stay..."

She couldn't bear seeing her mother crying like that, but she had to go. I just HAD to. I don't have a choice. No one can make me go back there. She shook off her father's grip, and prepared to turn away from those she cared, from their sad expressions that seemed to tear her heart apart. Then someone else emerged from behind the group.

Professor Severus Snape.

He walked slowly towards Hermione, and stood before her. His face was paler than usual, and his eyes had lost their menace. He bent down until their faces were barely an inch apart, and she could feel his breath brushing her nose. Hermione looked into his eyes, there were something blue swirling in the black pools, sorrow he couldn't show. His face was expressionless until a small frown creased it. Hermione would give anything to soothe it, but her hand was too heavy to lift up and touch him. She stifled a sob.

He looked like he wanted to hug her, or at least comfort her, but he remained motionless and stared into her eyes. Hermione felt the voice urging again, "Leave. Don't return. Leave." Snape looked like he heard the voice too, because he opened his mouth, then closed it. He opened it again, and Hermione looked at him questioningly, surely he would want to say goodbye...

"Please," his voice broke. There was an almost unnoticeable hint of plead in it. Hermione closed her eyes. That did the trick. She placed her hands into his and suddenly she was sucked back into the mad tornado.

----------

"Ah! So someone had succeeded," said a dry voice, sounding satisfied. Hermione jerked her eyes open, but closed them again immediately because the classroom was so bright it hurt her eyes. She cautiously opened them again, feeling them slowly adjusting to the light. Memories were rushing back, she could remember the DADA lesson, and scolded herself mentally for forgetting about the Exorcising Curse during her trance. She felt very stupid at being scared and nervous, it was just a plain experiment, after all.

She glanced around the classroom, and found that many students had fainted, Harry being one of them, some were coming around with Moody's help. To her surprise, Neville and Ron were amongst the few who hadn't faint. In fact, they were the only three who hadn't. They were very white though, and sweat were rolling down their necks. She touched her face. It was wet, but she wasn't sure was it tears remembering the- vision.

The vision. Again she saw Snape. He seemed to have an annoying tendency to intrude my mind, thought Hermione, who then brushed the thought ruthlessly aside, while giving out chocolates to her classmates. When everyone had settled down once more, Moody looked at them all.

"Well," he began in the same dry voice," I believe that everyone of you is revived. How do you like the Exorcising Curse?" He cracked a grin seeing their sullen expressions. "You need to know. I don't want to put it on you as much as you wanted to experience it again. The Curse is used originally designed to usher lingering spirits to the Beyond, and to cast possessing spirits from their hosts... but now it was also used in medical-magic fields, to help patients with fatal diseases to move to death peacefully. Now these need to be copied down," while the class searched for their inkbottles and parchments, Hermione, who had already been copying, bit on the tip of her quill, and put up a hand.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" Moody acknowledged her hand with a nod.

"I, I wonder-" she inhaled deeply before continuing," I wonder what does the light meant, and I've heard a voice-"

"Ah, that, yes," Moody grinned again, "that's a fair question. The light is where spirits go, the Beyond- but of course in our case it was merely a projection which when you approach you will faint. With the real Curse your spirit would have no return once you have reached the light. The voice, and the spirits I believed you would see in the light, acted like the Imperius Curse to coax spirits from leaving the physical body. Those in the dark were people you cared deeply, they were projections of your mind attempting to stop the spirit from leaving. Only truly strong-mined people would have succeeded resisting the Curse," he looked at the Hermione, Neville and Ron proudly, and at that moment, the bell rang. Hermione couldn't be more grateful. She packed her things and swung her bag onto her shoulder swiftly.

"My whole family glared at me when I said I must go to the light," said Neville, pink-faced from all the talk, he was not usually the one who had something to share. "Gran looked like she would smack me silly if I don't stay, so..."

"Well, I do want to go, but Mom's squeezing me too tight," said Ron, jumping in front of Harry, who was walking with his head down. "Come on, Harry! Everyone else fainted!"

"I saw Mom and Dad, and they asked me to join them, and I did without second thought..." Harry murmured.

"Honestly Harry, one may think you'd be sick if you don't think yourself as 'weak' for a moment!" Ron exclaimed exasperatedly. "Hermione, say something..."

But Hermione was only half listening and didn't answer. Her mind was buzzing and she hardly noticed where she was heading or what was she suppose to do. The troubled expression was back on Ron's face, who impatiently poked her.

"I- I have no class anymore. See you guys at dinner." She said in a would-be calm voice and walked away before any of them could react.

----------

Hermione stepped into the deserted dormitory. It was three in the afternoon, the sun shining merrily into the room, making the dust dancing in the air visible. Lavender and Parvati were in Divination, and Ginny was nowhere to be seen. She flung her bag under the bed with a 'thud', then herself onto the welcoming, comfy mattress. It had been a long lesson. Crookshanks hopped onto her and curled into a gigantic ginger hairball. His fur tickled Hermione's nose, and she let out a quickly-stifled giggle. Sighing, she brushed Crookshanks off and sat up once more.

Reaching into her trunk's bottom, she searched for something she hadn't taken out for a very long time but was sure it was there. Eventually she yanked a very dusty copy of Break with a Banshee autographed by Lockhart out from beneath her robes. Ron and Harry, or anyone, won't touch anything with Lockhart's signature. She placed the thick book onto her lap, stared at it for a long moment, then touched it. The worn leather cover still felt the same under her hand- rough and coarse. She closed her eyes savoring the feeling, and when she opened them again, determination could be seen.

"Reveallos," She muttered, touching the cover with her wand, "Moggy Crookshanks."

Upon the correct password, the book gave a small shake, then with a 'pop' it morphed into a thinner diary. On the cover was a crude sketch of Crookshanks. Hermione fingered the pages and shuddered unconsciously. Skimming to a particular page, she let herself lay on her belly and started reading.

----------

20th July

Oh my God. Will write this again. OH MY GOD.

This morning woke up really early, because can't Apparate yet. Ron was really grumpy. I was too tired to complain. That's before we had to walk up Stoatshead Hill. At 6 in the morning. Thought self was going to have an asthma attack, the air was so harsh when breathed in. Luckily we got to the top just fine.

We are going to the Quidditch World Cup, am not that interested, honestly, but Mom said it would be not nice to turn down such a warm invitation. Mom didn't say we need to walk a thousand miles at 6 though, don't think that is warm. But still it'd be interesting to see how so many wizards can work and coordinate and organize such an international function. Yes, there'd be plenty to see and learn.

We used a portkey to travel, which is an unimpressive looking boot. This is not important. What is important is that, out of all people that I could have met with my freaky frizzle hair beating my face and my hands trying desperately to clutch my flying robes, I have to meet him.

Yeah.

If there really is fate, I hate it with all my heart at that moment.

He got there with his father. Didn't pay attention to his father, thought he was babbling about Harry's defeat last year. Anyway, there he was, totally gorgeous as though the sharp wind around us was nothing. Tried not to be like Ginny and blush, but then in that light who would notice? So blushed anyway. And then we shared the portkey. Shared, as in leaning real close together. Hmmm.

The site was incredible. Hundreds of thousands of our kind. Our tent was okay, too. Spent the day teaching Mr. Weasley light matches. The whole camp thing was cool, except that didn't get to see him again.

By the way, Ireland won.

23rd October

Stupid Ron.

Been bickering with him. Again. Today he said something about Cedric as an idiot. Couldn't help but jumped into protective mode immediately. But well am speaking the truth! He is a good student and he is a prefect. And it is beyond doubt that I don't like people just because they're handsome.

Of course he is handsome, but that's not the point.

Worried. If Ron ever find out... shudder to think what would happen. And there is the problem that Cedric would probably never know me more than Harry's best friend. He did smiled to me this morning though. And a 'hello', but that's all.

31st October

He was chosen.

That's right. I knew he would be chosen. I mean, look at it. He was seventeen, a seeker, a prefect and a top student. Plus the fact that he was handsome. I clapped and clapped. Now hands are all red and hurt when I write, so I better make this short. I applauded and looked over, he was- no surprise here, just some bitterness- not looking at me. He was wearing a big flashy smile that every Hufflepuff witch would have melt there. I wish I could melt too, but then his smile was not directed at us Griffindors. He was naturally not one to boast, so he didn't even turn to look smugly at us, which a Slytherin surely would.

Harry was chosen too, no one knows how that happen, but I don't believe Harry entered himself. Well, not to sound arrogant, but even I can't fool Dumbledore's Age Line. Not that I haven't tried, but will never tell anyone. Not even him. If he ever bother to ask. Or talk to me.

Anyway, Harry was not yet back. The common room was crowded with excited students, Ron was not in sight. Am so tired and worried. Someone had died in the Tournament before! What if Harry, or worse, him- was injured or something?

24th November

Tired, tired, tired beyond imagination. Been practicing Accio with Harry all night. It was such a simple charm, but I guess he had his mind on something else, so he wasn't to be blamed for not paying attention. The first task is dragons. And of course Ron is still not talking to him. Stupid boys.

Managed to walk to the stands with Ron and Ginny. Although I knew 'bout the dragons beforehand, it didn't make them less scary. Ron looked very sick. Ginny was covering her eyes. I, well, I nearly got a heart attack.

He was the first to tackle the beast. A Swedish Short-Snout according to Mr. Bagman. He tried to transfigure a stone into a dog to attract the beast. It was some transfiguration, but the beast soon lost interest and swish- for a beast so large it sure can move- and the flames! I nearly fainted, as I could almost feel the heat from the flame searing my chest. Luckily the pellets were with me. And I didn't really cry or scream.

Harry got past his dragon ok, am very satisfied with his Accio. Think I could make a good professor someday.

Ron is talking to Harry again. I sort of cried. I guess it's because the tension was over and I could see he was okay, only with some orange paste on his face.

12th December

Honestly! Who does that Krum think he is? I don't give a- sorry- damn that he is a famous seeker! So what if he is famous? Harry is famous. I bet I will be famous one day.

He just came over today, when I was obviously engrossed in my S.P.E.W. stuff and did not want to be disturbed, and asked me to the dance! Said something like he'd never seen a girl like me before. HA! That's because there aren't many freaky bookworms in Bulgaria, smash-head.

I think maybe if I ask nicely, he may actually bring me to the Yule Ball, cause it doesn't seem like he had a girlfriend or something.

15th December

Really I don't want to smudge the pages, it is just the tears! They won't stop. I wonder if there is a potion or a charm that can freeze tears. Or dry your eyes forever.

I heard Cho and her big-mouthed friends in the Library today. Seems like he had asked Cho to go to the Ball and she was thinking whether or not to go. Thinking. Not jumping at the chance.

I think I am dying. It's possible that I will just lay here and rot. Some house-elves would come and dispose me. That's the way they treat someone trying to get them paid and day-offs.

17th December

Confirmed by Harry, who happened to ask Cho as partner. Boys are so blind. Can't they see what's inside is important, not looks?

Only Cho was pretty and intelligent. Right.

Accepted Krum's offer, who said he wouldn't attend the ball if I don't go with him. Therefore I accepted. I am not trying to get anyone's attention by being Krum's date.

I wonder if I ask Snape would he be a merciful almsgiver for a change and grant me some dreamless sleep potion. I can't continue dreaming about him and screaming at 3.

25th December

Ha, ha, ha. The only thing merry about this Christmas is the beautiful robes Mum and Dad sent me, and the funny goggling looks of Harry and Ron, they didn't recognize me! That was extremely hilarious.

Started the ball with Victor. He was an ok guy once you got to know him. But I was distracted, see, Cedric was not even looking at me. Cho was stunning, though I think we looked equally good tonight. But I don't think she spent every waking second in the past week thinking about how to straighten her hair. She probably just changed into any robes she laid her fingers on and looked beautiful in it.

I have to be the most pathetic witch Hogwarts ever admitted.

22nd January

Caught him kissing her outside greenhouse 4. Was too shocked/ heartbroken to write.

31st January

He smiled at me today! Yay! And Cho was not there. The best thing that had happen to me in weeks. Harry seemed distracted again, and Ron was, well, being Ron, he wouldn't notice if my hands were gone. I tried to return it, but my face couldn't twitch the way I wanted it to. Bugger.

When I looked at his back as he left, I could feel again that horrible empty feeling in my abdomen. Like someone is drilling a hole in there. I clutched my fists forcing back the tears. This is insane. I don't cry. If only I had never have a crush on him. I know it from the very beginning that I don't stand a chance, but still I plunged headfirst in. I am so stupid.

Ron just came over and asked am I ok, and gave me a chocolate frog. He can be so sweet sometimes. How I hope the one I'm in loved with is him.

25th February

Last night was too tired to write. Plus I had to wash. The water down there sure is dirty. And have water beetles. Ick.

Victor considered me as 'the one'... frankly I was flattered, didn't know how to react! I can't just say 'thank you' can I? But Cho was there too. She was his one of course, I would have known, but does that help? Does the fact that she would be the one most precious to him, though not unexpected, soothe the wound he had burnt unto me deeper than never?

No. It didn't. Not a bit.

I didn't cry this time, my mind seems to think more crying is not profitable to self's spiritual state, and wouldn't let me bring self to tears again. I merely sobbed for a few seconds, then the memory was safely sealed into the bottom of mind. Didn't have nightmares last night, that's an improvement.

Should never, ever have loved him. Our life lines are like parallel, and would never meet and entwine. Maybe I should just accept Victor.

6th March

Rita Skeeter had just written something on Witch Weekly about me toying Harry and Victor. Very funny at first, but I saw him reading it in lunch break. Oh Merlin. The least I need is him reading something that Skeeter scum wrote. Especially not about me being a 'Scarlet woman'. Hmph. Witch Weekly's for witches. He had no right to read it.

27th May

EXAMS DRAWING NEAR. No time to write, but he said 'hey' to me. Got to write it down.

22nd June

Yes! Correctly predicted the Charms exam, that was easy enough. Need to help Harry with the hexes and STUDY HISTORY OF MAGIC. He was in the library with her today. It was causing less pain now seeing them together, just that sick nausea. Note to self: Never, ever fall in love with impossible candidates. Think before falling in love. STUDY GOBLIN'S NAMES.

27th June

It's alright. I have gotten over it. I am not that upset anymore. I can eat today. Still wanted to puke but I forced the food down, can't let Ron notice anything, he had enough to worry like Harry's present fragile mood, we had to be cheerful so he wouldn't think about what had happened.

I had to be cheerful so that I won't remember it. I have to stand. I can't break down, not when Harry needs me, he is more vulnerable. Who am I to cry or weep? I hadn't seen anything. No death, no torture, and I hadn't seen his body. No. I merely heard murmurs and hushed whispers about his death- I would have given up my soul to prove those wrong right then. My heart stopped, literally, because a wave of darkness swept over me. But I couldn't collapse. Ron was with me. Breathing was shallow and could feel at that minute God had taken away the oxygen in the air cause no matter how hard I tried nothing could fill the pressing, burning need of my lungs.

He can't be dead. I am dreaming. I have been in this nightmare for way too long and it's about time to wake up. When I put down the quill and walk downstairs I would see him smiling at me, maybe with Cho. I don't care. No way he was dead. Without saying Goodbye, or knowing how I felt about him all along. This isn't right. That can't be the last time I see him in the library.

He can't be dead. He just can't be. I forbid him to die. He is not dying without knowing that apart from Cho there was someone else watching him turn every corner, someone else sitting up whenever he enters the Great Hall...

1st July

Cedric Diggory was dead.

I would never take more pellets than I should have, because Ron is likely to find out and unless I take more than 500 I am not going to die. I swear that I would think thrice before falling in love (if I do fall in love ever again, very unlikely) and never with an impossible guy. I-

----------

Hermione couldn't read further, tears were streaking down, making her face shone in the dusk orange sun rays. Crookshanks placed a comforting hairy paw on her hand. She looked into those almost sentient brown eyes and saw her own reflection. She had been cringing and cowering in a vulnerable manner, no one seeing her now would recognize her as the strong, powerful know-it-all.

She hadn't write in the diary since Cedric's death, nor had she ever mentioned this little crush to anyone else except Lavender and Ginny. It was understandable, cause the memories that were flooding back were not considered as pleasant, and she had spent the entire summer vacation trying to forget it. Apparently one can't obliviate oneself.

She pulled the hanging curtains close, and placed a Silencing Charm onto the bed so that anyone approaching could only hear a peaceful snore. Her hands trembled as she tried to place the charm. She then hugged Crookshanks closer to herself and laid as the pillow beneath was gradually soaked with her quiet tears. Embracing Crookshanks tighter, she closed her eyes.

Those in the dark were people you cared deeply, they were projections of your mind attempting to stop the spirit from leaving.

She sobbed herself to sleep.

----------

A/N: I know, I know this chapter is not very good. *Sigh* I wrote this mostly in past midnight coz my muse seems to wake up only at those unmanly hours. This chapter is longggggg! I just wanted to upload a longer chapter coz I won't update in a week's time. I'd be reading JK's new book of coz! I know everyone here would! But please still take time to review, I seems to have developed a funny habit of collecting reviews( who haven't anyway), so the more the better! Flames will also be welcomed, these will be collected to toast and roast my ever-nerve-grinding brother, who just won't shut up and I can't write unless in complete silence. Enough babbling! Please review!