Running With Scissors

Disclaimer - Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. Running With Scissors, the play, belongs to Michael McKeever. Death is hot. So is Miroku. God, I want him . . .

Author's Note - Wow! People seem to like this! I actually have reviews from people I don't know! XD It's a freakin' miracle. Thank the gods.

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Chapter Two - Stranded

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Inuyasha's eye twitched.

"Okay, let me get this straight," he said slowly, "you're, what, death?"

"Death with a capital D," the young man called Miroku answered with another grin. "Your very own Angel of Darkness, here to escort you to the Netherworld! Now, chop chop. Come on, I ain't got all day here, pal! There's a guy in Acapulco who's supposed to have a heart attack in fifteen minutes from eating too much salsa. Let's go."

"Wait, wait," Inuyasha said quickly, holding up his hand. "Listen to me, pal, Dr. Kaede said that I have SIX MONTHS left to live. It's only been half an hour! Now what the HELL is this really about? Are you some freaky salesperson or something?"

Miroku's grin only widened. "Do salesman carry scythes?" He waved around the staff-like object for emphasis, pointing the blade towards him.

Inuyasha backed away against the door. "N-no."

"That's what I thought. Now, you comin' or not?"

"N-no!" Inuyasha said, a bit firmer. "I want to finish up these six months, dammit!"

"Too bad," Miroku replied in a bored voice, tracing the edge of the scythe with his finger. "I'm supposed to take you now, not in six months. Come on, dude, you're puttin' my job on the line, here! This is my duty! If I don't take you within the next ten minutes, I gotta deal with the boss! I'll - I'll lose my JOB!" Miroku's dark brown eyes widened and he grabbed Inuyasha by the shoulders, shaking him fiercely. "HOW CAN I SUPPORT MY WIFE AND KIDS IF I DON'T HAVE A JOB?! HUH?! TELL ME!"

Inuyasha raised an eyebrow. "Death has a wife and kids?"

Miroku's shoulders slumped and he shoved Inuyasha away. "No," he mumbled. "She said she wouldn't marry me 'cause it'd interfere with her job . . ."

"Who's she?" Inuyasha asked, starting up the car again as he pulled back onto the dirt road.

"No one," Miroku answered quickly, his grin back in place. "Welp, if you're not ready to die, then fine. YOU face the boss. I'll just tell him it's his fault."

"Wh-who's the boss?"

"El Diablo," he replied, stressing the words, accenting them. His grin widened. "That's right . . . fire and brimstone; a world of souls whirling in their own misery . . . it's a really nice place, actually. Good vacation spot."

Inuyasha shuddered. "So . . . when I do die, I'm going to Hell?"

"Nah." Miroku shrugged it off, tilting his head. "No, you're headed up to that 'oh-mighty-one' . . . ya know . . . God. You deserve it . . . what with bein' a goody-two-shoes an' all . . ."

Inuyasha stiffened. "I am NOT a goody-two-shoes."

"Sure, kid, whatever ya say. Look, where're we goin', anyway? Don't forget, I gotta take care of that guy in Acapulco, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Inuyasha muttered back, his eyes concentrated on the dusty road before him.

"So . . ." Miroku began. "You're a quiet guy. Never took a risk in your life, didja? What's up with that?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "It's just the way I've always been. Play it safe, and no one gets hurt."

"Yawn - boring!" Miroku exclaimed, punching his shoulder. "You gotta have a little FUN, man! I mean, gods, you've probably never even seduced a girl, have ya?"

Inuyasha's eyes widened and he glared at Miroku. "That's a disgusting thing to say! I-I would NEVER treat a woman like that!"

"Yeah, whatever," Miroku said, faking a yawn. "I didn't come here for a morality speech, got it? I get enough of that crap from San - " He stopped in mid-sentence, sighing heavily.

"Who?" Inuyasha prompted again. "Who is this person that you're so uninclined to talk about?"

"It's nobody," Miroku mumbled, tensing as he shifted his gaze to the road that sped past him. "Just drop it."

The car suddenly gave a great jolt and the engine sputtered, slowing them to a stop. Inuyasha cursed under his breath and got out, lifting the hood, only to have a great black cloud of smoke surround his face.

He coughed, waving a hand to clear the soot, peering at the engine.

"Dead battery," he muttered, slamming down the hood.

Miroku's grin widened again. "Hm . . . DEAD battery . . . what a shame."

Inuyasha glared. "What, did you kill the battery or somethin'?"

"Who, me? I would NEVER!"

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at him before sighing, looking around as Miroku got out on the other side.

"Looks like we're stranded," Miroku said cheerfully.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Inuyasha snapped, folding his arms as he leaned against the car door. "So now what?"

"Don't look at me, I'm just an undertaker!"

Inuyasha rolled his eyes and scanned the deserted area around them. He suddenly pointed in the distance to a small building, barely visible on the horizon.

"Look, there's something out there! Maybe there's someone who can help us," Inuyasha mused, tilting his head.

"Well, come on then," Miroku said, straightening up to his full height, which Inuyasha noticed, was much taller than his own. Shielded by the setting sun, his dark features and solid black clothes made him look menacing against the reddish-orange light.

"Hey, Daydreamer, you comin' or not?" Miroku asked, snapping Inuyasha out of his thoughts as he watched him jog along, trying to follow in his wake of destruction and death.

~

When the pair finally reached the building, they found it to be a small, brown, cottage-like structure. A rusty sign that squeaked every time the wind blew hung above the porch, reading, "Higurashi Bed And Breakfast."

Inuyasha and Miroku pushed open the heavy door together, peering inside.

"Hello?"

"I'll be with you in a moment," a young, female voice called from behind the counter, invisible.

The two made their way into the small room, leaning against the wall beside the counter. After a minute, a young, beautiful woman appeared from the other side of the desk, smiling warmly at the two.

Inuyasha's jaw dropped. The girl's eyes were large and brown, shimmering with a mixture of loneliness and regret. Her dark black hair cascaded down her shoulders and onto her back, framing her face perfectly. Her dark green dress was long and simple, and a dirtied white apron hung around her waist. She bowed graciously at her guests, making her way behind the counter, opening a large, dusty book.

"Names?"

"Er . . . names?" Inuyasha asked, confused.

The girl smiled, making Inuyasha shudder under her gaze. "Yes, names. This is a bed and breakfast. You DID come here because you need a place to stay, right?"

"No," Miroku spoke up, "we came because THIS idiot's car broke down and we were hoping you could help."

The girl shook her head, still smiling. "I'm afraid there's nothing I can do, except call a tow truck to help you get back home. But, seeing as we're in the middle of nowhere, that might take a while. So, why not rest here until then?"

Inuyasha shrugged, nodding. "Yeah . . . that sounds good," he said breathlessly, his eyes never leaving the girl's face.

"Excellent," she chirped, her smile never faltering. "Now, let's try this again. Names, PLEASE."

"Miroku Kikuchi," Miroku grinned, bowing. "Pleased to meet you."

"Inuyasha Ikeda," Inuyasha muttered, suddenly shy as he lowered his head.

The girl scribbled down the names in the book. "Very well. I'll put you two in room four. I think it should suffice." She snatched a rusty brass key from a pegboard beside her, motioning for them to follow her into the dark hallway.

For a few moments none of them spoke as they wandered down the empty hall, stopping at the end of the corridor. The girl unlocked a door with a rusted number 4 digit on the front of it, showing them inside.

"These rooms aren't much, but they work just fine," she said nervously, gesturing around quickly before letting her arm fall to her side. "It's five dollars a night, and there's meals served at the appropriate times every day. Make yourselves comfortable."

Inuyasha and Miroku both nodded, glancing around for themselves. Miroku's hands were shoved casually into the pockets of his baggy jeans, and Inuyasha's arms were folded across his chest, surveying the room with his eyes silently.

The girl spoke up again,

"And if you need anything, my name is Kagome. Kagome Higurashi."