Disclaimer: As much as I would love to, I don't own the HP universe.
A/N: I know it has been a long time since I last updated. The reasons behind my inactivity has been explained in the emails and my weblog. Sorry for being late, but I am finally here with my muses again. Yesterday (the 22nd) was my birthday. I am 19 now, how old does that sound? Anyways, I hope this will be a new beginning of a fruitful year for me. On with the replies and the story!
EnsignAbby: How true is that statement! When I started updating this, I went back to check the storyline, and I was like, "Whoa, this needs major rewriting!" English is not my first language, and I am not very good at grammar. I like to believe that I am improving, and as writing is a recursive process, I will rewrite the earlier chapters later.
Real-fan05: Now it's been more than a year since I started this, and I am continuing because there are people out there like you, who love this story. Thanks for the support and keep liking the fic!
nats8784: I agree, they definitely deserved some happy time!
Noriko M. Chijinu: Another update! I know it has been a long time, but please don't kill me!
Shin Tae: I never imagined that I would come this far, but hey, here I am. There are more fluffy moments in this chapter, hope ya like it!
SaintEm0: I know that now, thanks for telling me anyway. Am never very good at net-speak.
Procyon Marie: Oh yes, someone asks the right question. Ron. There will be some development regarding him in this chapter. Enjoy!
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Hermione stirred deeper into the warm covers, sighing contentedly. Their first date had been perfect, and she was savoring the night in her dreams. It was like living every moment of it again. In her dream, she could see the white table cloth sparkled under the swaying candle lights, the roses almost too romantic to be held by a mediocre vase. The waitress came and put down their dishes with a gentle 'clank'. She looked over the table and saw Severus, her perfect knight, raised his goblet of red wine.
"Cheers," Severus said with a dream-like glow on his face, and downed the content of his glass.
She smiled back and raised her goblet, and was about to do the same when-
"Miss Granger!" The curtains around her bed was pulled apart most unceremoniously, and a familiar voice whispered.
"Hmmm?" was her intelligent reply. She turned her back to the source of disturbance.
"Miss Granger, wake up," the voice prompted urgently and Hermione felt someone grabbed her shoulders and shook her. She turned back and lifted one reluctant eyelid.
In the dim light of the chamber Hermione could make out a tall silhouette dressed in black, which was not making things easier for her. The man was now hunching over her, trying to wake her up with the conventional method. Squinting, she decided that she was still in a dream, because the man she saw was-
"Professor?" She said in a voice that could be considered as happy if she wasn't yawning through it. "You miss me already?"
"This is a serious matter," he started to pull her up. "And you must come with me at once."
She sat up blearily, and eyed the mattress with desire, apparently torn between the man of her dreams and the inviting bed. Turning back to Severus, she reached out to touch his face and said, "you look so real."
He encircled her tiny palm with his big one, and sighed wearily. "If you won't come voluntarily, I might be inclined to use Mobilicorpus on you, Miss Granger, so if you may please get up now and make this easier for both of us..."
The threat seemed to work. Although it was unlikely that students would be hanging about in the hallways at this ungodly hour, Hermione was not going to take the risk of being seen dragged in mid-air by the Potions Master. Grumpily, she slid out of her comfortable four-poster and into her slippers. Hugging herself with both her arms, she jumped around in an attempt to warm herself up.
"Okay, I am ready to go," she announced, but winced when she saw the murderous look on Severus' face.
"Accio scarf, accio coat," he said in a steely voice, and two random pieces of clothing flew out of her trunk. Wrapping her tightly in them, he ran a hand in her unruly mess of hair, trying to tame it a bit. "Now you're ready to go."
She curved her lips into a furtive grin, and slipped her arm into his.
----------
What little mirth she was feeling vanished as soon as she stepped into Dumbledore's office. The Headmaster's face was grim, and there was a fire replacing the twinkle in his eyes. Nevertheless, he smiled a little when he saw the two coming in arm in arm.
"Ah, Miss Granger," he acknowledged with a wave of hand. "Have a seat."
Hermione sat down apprehensively in one of the big armchairs in front of the Headmaster's desk. Severus remained standing, but placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
"Should I vacate the room, Albus?"
The old wizard turned and looked at Hermione, clearly allowing her to decide. She looked up into Severus' eyes, then turned back to Dumbledore.
"I'd prefer Professor Snape to be with us."
"Very well," replied Dumbledore, motioning Severus to take a seat too. Then, leaning forward, he said, "I've some important news to tell you, Miss Granger."
She suppressed the urge to roll her eye. Well, I would hope so if you are pulling me out of the bed at this hour. Instead, she merely nodded.
"Arthur Weasley was being attacked an hour ago. In the Ministry of Magic. He was bitten by a giant snake- which was possessed by the Dark Lord himself at that moment, apparently."
She blanched. "Mr. Weasley? But- but- what was he doing in the Ministry at this hour?"
"He was on a Order's mission," replied Dumbledore. Shadows cast by the flickering fire danced on his purple and gold gown, and he looked even glummer.
"What- why-" her mind still struggled to take in the piece of information that Mr. Weasley was in peril; finally, she settled on asking, "how did you know?"
Dumbledore told her how Harry had seen the attack in his head, and how the Weasley children had been transported home just before she came in.
Hermione stood up quickly. "I should be going as well!" Her heart wrenched at the thought of what her friends were going through. Knowing Harry, he would be besieged by guilt now, and Ginny would just sit there, silent and filled with fear. She wanted to be there, to share her shoulder for a tired friend, to place a supportive arm around Harry, to listen.
"Miss Granger," the wise wizard raised a calming hand. Hermione sat down. "You must not leave the school until the day after tomorrow, when the term ends."
"But-"
"Umbridge is watching," Severus interrupted. It was the first time that he spoke up during the whole meeting. "She has to be furious that Potter and the Weasleys disappeared under her eye. There will be no more student leaving the grounds in these two days."
Hermione fell silent. What he said was reasonable, and she knew that she really would not be of much help now. Looking into the Headmaster's eyes, she nodded and said courteously, "thank you for telling me such important news. I will be packing."
"Good," Dumbledore said, and watched pensively as the two exited his office.
----------
Slowly, Severus walked Hermione back to her dormitory. On the way, a heavy silence fell between them, and the only sound was their footsteps echoing in the empty hallways. It had stopped snowing, and the snow gleamed outside, showering their way in a majestic silver light. The air was freezing. Hermione was glad that Severus was taking her hand in his warm one. Eventually, they arrived the Griffindor Tower. As if reading each other's mind, they stopped together a few feet before reaching the Fat Lady's portrait.
She turned to face him. "Guess I am not going skiing, after all."
"No, I guess not."
"How did you come up to my room just now?"
"Albus gave me the incarnation to disable that horrid stairs of yours temporarily. It was a slight emergency, you know."
She looked at him one last time, and turned to leave. He hesitated for a nanosecond, then grabbed her shoulder.
"Professor?" Her back was still facing him.
He could feel the shaking under his palm. "There is something you wanted to tell me."
"I have no-"
"Don't try to hide from me," he said, frowning. He might have been away from this romance business for a while, but he could still tell if his girl was holding something behind her back. And his Legilimency skills helped a bit, too.
She twirled once again and looked into his black orbs. Severus found himself clutching her shoulders with both his hands and looking at a very pale face. Her lips trembled, and there was fear in her voice.
"It is nothing, nothing to worry about, I mean," Hermione tried with all her might to steady her voice and not to babble, "well- I, oh, it is really silly of me. You won't be interested."
"Try me," he drawled, scrutinizing her face for a clue.
"I- I am just- afraid," she admitted, looking down. She felt really stupid. It was not an irrational fear, but certainly a foreign emotion to a spy like him. The word 'war' had never seemed so real to her. People were getting hurt, people would die. It was no longer a game of bravery and cleverness, but a reality of ruthlessness and bloodshed. She shuddered, and suddenly understood what Mrs. Weasley must have felt when she saw the Boggart turning into bodies of her loved ones.
"Afraid?"
"Mr. Weasley worked for the Order, and he was bitten in the process," she said, still not lifting up. She could feel the rims of her eyes getting hot.
"And?" He scowled at the top of her bushy hair. Using his left hand, he tipped her head up tenderly, and when he saw her face, he was startled by the emotions on it.
"And I don't want you to get hurt," whispered Hermione, so soft that it almost got lost in the wind, and blinked, holding back a tear.
He was speechless. Holding her closer to him, he felt a long forgotten sensation welled up in his chest, and asked the heaven silently what good had he done to merit such a stunning soul.
----------
The next day went by as a blur. Everyone was so busy with packing and Christmas shopping that few queried about the whereabouts of Harry and the Weasleys. Hermione avoided places like the Great Hall and the Common Room, mostly keeping to herself, packing and organizing her thoughts.
But there were always things that could not be evaded.
"Come in," she called, stuffing her last book into a brimful suitcase. Lavender stepped in cautiously.
"Is this a bad time?" She asked.
"No, I have just finished packing," the other girl replied, panting slightly as she strapped the suitcase shut.
"What are your plans for the holiday?" Lavender asked, sitting down on Hermione's bed.
"Well, our family is going skiing."
"Skiing?" She glanced at her empty desk. "Why do you bring all those books if you're going skiing?"
Hermione fidgeted uncomfortably under her friend's patent dissecting glare.
"Is there something that you aren't telling me, Hermy?" Lavender asked in a fake sweet voice.
"I am not-" she began defiantly.
"And where are Harry, Ginny and others?" Sighing wearily, she rubbed her temples. "You aren't telling me things anymore."
Reluctantly, Hermione filled her friend in about Mr. Weasley's injury without revealing too much about the Order. Lavender listened intently, and seemed to be satisfied with the explanation.
"That's why we need to learn proper Defense Against the Dark Arts," she murmured when Hermione finished her tale.
"Yep, and to think that you believed in all that crap about Harry in the beginning!"
"Well," Lavender blushed, obviously embarrassed by her initial lack of judgment. "I joined the D.A., didn't I?"
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Hermione woke with a start the next morning. Staring at the canopy, her mind was blank for a second before thoughts rushed back in. It was the end of the term, but unlike most students, she did not feel particularly happy. Anxious to go, yes, but only to find out how Mr. Weasley and her friends were . Jumping off her bed, she hurried into the bathroom to get ready.
At precisely two, she was standing on the pavement in front of the Three Broomsticks. From here she could see the Hogwarts Express steam rising into the grey sky. She and a couple of students who were not taking the train were standing in line, waiting for the Knight Bus. Someone had held out his wand hand a moment ago, and the bus should be here any minute. She pulled her thick fur coat tighter, taking refuge from the harsh wind in its warmth. She glanced at the sky- it looked like it would snow again soon.
Suddenly, the students in the line shifted uneasily and gaped in her direction. She was at the end of the line, and looked back at them bemusedly. Someone cleared his throat behind her. The students turned back to their own business. Belatedly, Hermione turned and saw her Potions Professor standing behind her.
She fought back a grin. "Good day, Professor," she whispered.
He kept a straight face and did not answer, but reached down and took her luggage.
"What have you in there? Coals for your friends?" He mumbled when he felt the weight of the suitcase. She opened her mouth to reply, but at that moment the Knight Bus arrived.
The bus skidded to a stop in front of the line of students. The door opened and a man in a purple uniform stuck his head out.
"Merry Christmas," he bowed to the passengers. When he looked up again, there was a lopsided grin on his pimpled face. "We've got a big bunch this year, don't we?"
The first student, a second-year, Hermione recognized, seemed to be at a loss of what to say to the eccentric man. It was evidently the first time he had seen the Knight Bus, and he was gawking at the triple-decker with awe.
"My name is Stan Shunpike, and I'll be your conductor. Unfortunately, we have quite a full bus today, and can only accommodate two more passengers-"
The students groaned hearing this.
"Stupid boy!" Hermione heard a voice shouted from behind the conductor, and could only assume that it belonged to the driver. "Just let them in already! We're behind schedule!"
Stan did not seem to be bothered by the reprimand. Still grinning, he motioned the students to get aboard, putting their fares into a small bag he was carrying. "Just kiddin', Ernie! Can't a man joke a bit in the holiday season?"
Finally, it was Hermione's and Severus' turn. He pushed her onto the bus and thrust a couple of coins into the conductor's hand. "Private compartment."
Apparently, Stan did not know Severus, and was not a bit put out by the cold demeanor of the man. Broadening his smile, he gestured the stairs spiraling up to the upper decks and said, "sure. Which deck would you prefer, sir?"
"Third," and as an after-thought, he gave Stan two more Sickles. "And hot chocolate."
With that, he pushed Hermione furtively and the two disappeared up the stairs, as some very perplexed students watched after them.
----------
Hermione sighed in content with the cup of steaming chocolate in her hand. They were sitting comfortably- or, as close as a Knight Bus ride could come to 'comfortable'- at the rear of the top deck. Up here the bumpiness was reduced, if only by a bit. A sort of barrier appeared when they sat down, separating them from the rest of the passengers. Always the secretive spy, Severus was certainly a man who preferred privacy. Not to mention the terror it would bring to the other students if they saw their Griffindor star-pupil snuggling with their heartless, bat-of-a-man Potions Master.
Severus smirked at the last thought. Not a bad picture, not at all. Catching his expression, Hermione shot him a funny look.
"A Sickle for your thought," she said finally, sipping the last of her chocolate and putting down the mug.
"Are you cold?" He asked innocently.
"No," she frowned, thinking that he worried too much. "I just had a cup of lip-scalding beverage. Why?"
"Just wondering," he replied silkily. "If you would want to sit closer."
She blushed and found a sudden interest in the misty window as Severus pulled her into his arms. His chest seemed like an eternal furnace, and she cuddled nearer to the source of warmth unconsciously. He chuckled softly above. The pleasant sound vibrated in his ribcage. Her face got even redder, but she stayed where she was. A twinge of emotion swelled in her heart as she realized what fate had brought the two of them into. If anyone told her four months ago that she would be engaged in any kind of relationship with her Potions Professor, she could laugh and give that person a good smack up the head. The past few months had been the most emotionally-turbulent period of her life, and for so many times she feared that she was to fail and break her heart. But here she was, with a man twenty years her senior, on the Knight bus and perfectly happy.
As for Severus, he did not reflect much about the past, and dared not to think much about what laid ahead. To him, to embrace someone he cared in tranquility was one of the few pleasurable moments that life gave him, one of the few reasons for him to carry on. He tried not to contemplate, but merely accept, what- or rather, who- life had designed for him. And even though it was far from flawless- he smiled discreetly at the top of her head- he enjoyed the surprise.
"What did your parents say about your sudden alteration to their plans?" He asked casually.
"Oh. I mailed them yesterday and they replied this morning," she replied. "They're a bit disappointed. They have planned on this skiing trip for some time."
"You? Skiing?" His lips twitched as he attempted to hide a smirk.
"I can ski!" She said indignantly, planting a harmless fist onto his chest. Couldn't hold it any longer, Severus' face broke into a ear-to-ear grin.
"If I am informed correctly, Miss Granger, you are afraid of height."
"Well, there are tall hills and there are not-so-tall hills."
"There are slopes and there is the flat ground," he answered, grinning ever more broadly. "What do you do, tread around the snow in your skis and call yourself skiing?" He laughed at the mental image.
She huffed and turned her head away angrily. Severus was only further amused by this. The girl, being one of the most argumentative students he had ever met in his teaching career, was surprisingly easy to enrage. Her fiery temper was typical of a Griffindor's. She was always mad when she could not think of a good comeback, and, judging from her pout, he knew that his guess was at least partly true.
"I am sorry, Miss Granger, I should not have made fun of you," and your inability to properly ski, he apologized with Slytherin sincerity- which was none whatsoever.
Apparently, Hermione detected this as well and was defiantly staring the other way. Severus looked at her face and her childish behavior, and felt a part inside him softened.
"Okay, I apologize," he sighed. "I will teach you how to ski."
She turned back at him and examined his face through narrowed slits. "You, teach me to ski?"
He nodded. "Sometime later."
She regarded him for a second more, then beamed so quickly that Severus wondered what he had gotten himself into.
----------
"Grimmauld Place," Stan announced as Severus got off the bus with the suitcase. Giving his hand to Hermione, he helped her down and the couple stood on the pavement of a shabby neighborhood as the Knight Bus disappeared behind them in a purple blur.
It had started snowing again, and the sky was bluish grey because the winter sun had long gone. Hermione shivered in the evening air.
"Do you remember the address?" Severus asked behind her.
Nodding, she started to walk down the pavement. He followed a few steps behind. They were dropped off at the end of the block, and she counted silently to herself: nineteen, eighteen, seventeen... not bothering to wait up, she quickened her pace.
"Miss Granger," he called in alarm. The girl seemed to have a queer habit of running in the cold, he remembered with dismay the incident two nights ago. She had started to sprint with no apparent reason and beckoned him to catch her."Miss Granger!" He called again but Hermione paid no heed to him whatsoever. Oh that mind of hers, he sighed in defeat. He could never figure out what was going on in there.
Hermione, meanwhile, was not ignoring him on purpose. There were just something more urgent tugging her forward. Without realizing it, she broke into a jog. Fourteen, thirteen...
"Miss- Oh damnit!" Severus swore as the strap on the suitcase chose to snap at the precise moment that he decided to catch her in two big strides. The case burst open, spilling its contents across the thickening layer of snow.
Facing number eleven and thirteen of Grimmauld Place, Hermione knew this was the place. Slowly, she recalled the address on the note she read when she first came. A door materialized as soon as the words number twelve went past her mind, then the walls and the windows. Looming before her was the great gloomy-looking headquarters of the Order of Phoenix. She walked up and tapped tentatively on the door.
The door was pulled open almost immediately, as if the people inside were expecting somebody. She took a startled step back, and looked into the freckled face of Ron Weasley.
"Ron!" She refrained from hugging him, remembering their row.
Ron, too, seemed a bit baffled by her presence. "It's you," he said, more surprised than malicious.
"How-"
"What-" They started together. She shrugged and let him continue. "-are you doing here?"
"I planned to go skiing with my parents, but-"
Ron cut her off with a laugh. It was a genuine laugh that she had not heard for a long time.
"Skiing?"
"That's a sport in which people step on narrow planks and use poles to glide down snowy slopes."
"I know what skiing is," Ron laughed harder. "I just can't picture you doing it."
"Ron!" She shouted, feigning annoyance. Her face grew pink in embarrassment and the cold. Then, unable to control herself, she laughed too.
Their brief moment of civility was broken when Severus arrived on the doorstep. Ron glared at him with barely concealable hatred.
"You," he muttered darkly as his Potions Professor put down the huge suitcase.
"Good day to you too, Mr. Weasley," Severus greeted dryly, placing a possessive hand on Hermione's shoulder. He had not quite forgotten, let alone forgiven, how the red-haired boy kissed her that night.
Hermione looked uncomfortably from Severus to Ron. Sending daggers to each other, the two males looked ready to pull out their wands and hex the other to the next dimension. Clearing her throat, she picked up her suitcase and said, "I will, er, go and check on Harry."
Severus squeezed her shoulder slightly. "I will drop by in the foreseeable future, Miss Granger."
She nodded and went into the house. Staring at her back for a moment, Severus, too, swept away with his cloak billowing behind him. Ron watched his retreating form wearily before turning and closing the door.
----------
Hermione was happy to learn that Mr. Weasley was fine. Harry was not- apparently the idea that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named possessed him somehow got into his head. Facing his anger, she was not only helpless, but she could feel her patience dwindling. She was also very tired from her long trip. Fortunately, there was Ginny. Hermione would be eternally grateful for the sweet girl and her amazing ability to calm Harry down. Settling herself comfortably on the coach and pulling herself from the conversation, she found herself wondering about what was for dinner.
"Hermione," a voice shook her out of her reverie.
"Yeah, Harry," she replied automatically and sat up straighter, her face starting to color from being caught daydreaming. Her blush deepened when she saw who was addressing her. When she was in the cloud talking with Cupid, Harry and Ginny had exited the room.
"They have gone to help Mom with supper," Ron frowned and answered her unasked question.
Nodding numbly, Hermione found herself at a lost of words. She had not spoken to him for so long. What was there left to say between them?
"So..." he seemed as unsure as she was.
"I am sorry for what happened to your Dad, Ron," she said genuinely.
"Oh, thank you,'' he managed, then fell silent.
Looking at the boy's shifting eyes, she felt a sudden longing for his friendship. She wanted to talk to him like she did before. Grabbing his hand, she spoke seriously, "Ron, listen to me."
He looked taken aback, but did not pull his hand out of her grasp.
"I know you don't hate me, so don't pretend so," she said. "You are angry because I like Professor Snape, you feel like I have betrayed you. But I love you, Ron, as a brother and a friend. And when you search inside yourself, you will find that you feel the same."
Ron opened his mouth to speak, but Hermione silenced him with a hand.
"If you truly love me, the way you believe you do, you'll never have said those things about me," she said sadly, recalling all the names he had called behind her back and how it had hurt.
He thought quietly for a minute, before agreeing with a nod half-reluctantly, half-shamefully. "I am sorry," he whispered.
"Apology accepted," she said, smiling a little. Deep in her heart, she knew that she could not forgive him immediately, but the wounds would heal in time.
He returned her smile uncertainly. "Snape likes you back, doesn't he?"
"Well, yeah, I guess," she replied cautiously. I hope, she added silently. After all, the man had been hugging her for sometime now.
"I will not stop hating him, Hermione," he said, looking back at her finally. "But for you-"
"For Harry," she interrupted quickly. "He needs us, both of us. Can't you see, Ron? At such times we really can't afford to detest one another."
"For Harry, then."
----------
Severus did not like Christmas. He did not hate it, unlike what some people think, but he did not like it particularly, either. Or rather, he just could not bring himself to excite at the idea of any festival.
"So don't take it personally," he sneered at the Santa Claus statue erected every December near the Great Hall. Saint Nicolas was one of the few wizards that was recognized, and come to be loved by, the Muggles. The statue did not reply, but Severus could swear that there was a glint in his eyes. The resemblance between Saint Nicolas and Dumbledore was one of the numerous reasons that he did not like the holiday season. And there was this little fact that, his family had never celebrated any festival when he was young.
However, this year was different. His mood this year was markedly better than those before, due to one single, simple reason: Hermione Granger. Not that he realized this fully- even if he did he would not admit it- but he was still grateful that she provided him the thing that he had been looking for years: a flawless excuse to escape from the Headmaster's dreadful scheme of the Christmas feast! No more embarrassing party hats, Christmas crackers and mistletoes! Yes! He would almost twirl and do a bad swing, if not for a very amused Dumbledore appeared behind him suddenly.
"Ahem," the old sage cleared his throat. The twinkle in his eyes seemed to be charged by the Christmas spirit and Severus felt his irises hurt at the sight of it. "Merry Christmas, Severus."
"Albus," the younger wizard greeted neutrally.
"Have you opened your gift yet?"
"Candy canes that could last a lifetime," he replied wryly. "Thank you."
If that was even possible, Dumbledore beamed broader at him.
Hardly able to take his cheeriness, Severus started, "Oh, and Albus? I won't be at the feast tonight."
"You won't?" The Headmaster's smile dimmed imperceptibly and his face was replaced by a puzzled expression. "But why?"
Now that's a more satisfying Christmas gift, thought Severus. It was not everyday that you could catch Albus Dumbledore off guard. "Because," he announced, "I am meeting Miss Granger tonight."
"Ah, of course."
Smirking to himself, Hogwart's resident Potion Master strode into the Great Hall. The dinner he could avoid, but there was no way he could get away from the lunch.
----------
She was too quiet tonight, concluded Severus.
He had picked her up from Number 12, Grimmauld Place at precisely seven, taken her to a nice restaurant and let her order the food. He racked his head, trying to think of something that he had done wrong.
Holding her hand, he led her into a park. They were at a sub-urban part of London, and the park was deserted save for a few late birds. Anyhow, their robes were well-hidden under their long coats. The only sound was their feet treading on the soft snow. Without exchanging a word, the couple arrived at a magnificent fountain and sat down.
The fountain was turned off, and a thin layer of ice had been formed on the surface of the pool. Hermione fixed her eyes on the glimmering snow under the moonlight, deep in thought.
Sighing, Severus opened his mouth. "Miss Granger?"
"Hmmm?"
"Something's on your mind." A statement.
She breathed and caused a puff of mist to escape her lips, but did not answer.
Tightening his grip but not too hard that he might hurt her, he said, "I don't understand. You would tell me everything, every single tiny detail about yourself in the past, but you won't now?"
She smiled a little remembering their many nights of detentions. "I must have bothered the life out of you," she said softly.
He looked at her expectantly, with his patent relentless glare.
"Do you know what had happened to Neville's parents?" It was a silly question. Of course he knew.
Sighing for the second time of the night, he said, "the Longbottoms were very prominent Aurors of their time."
"How could they do this?" Her voice trembled, whether from anger, fear or the cold, he could not determine. Maybe it was a mix of all.
"Just as the sun and the moon are counterparts, so will evil exist as long as goodness stands," he started carefully, not quite sure himself how to explain to Hermione, who in his eyes was still an innocent sixteen-year-old.
She just pursed her lips and stared ahead.
"And when a person becomes a Death-Eater," his voice was lowered into a whisper, "he loses his self. Nothing matters anymore, but the drug of wickedness intoxicates him, gives him illusions of glory, and numbs his conscience."
"Have you ever..." her question hung.
"I will not lie to you, Miss Granger," he closed his eyes wearily, "but yes, much pain and anguish has been brought about by these hands." He opened his eyes and released her hand. Reflexively, he brought his right palm to his left arm. Hermione sat and stared at him attentively.
"I never rape. The Dark Lord knows why I joined him, family factor aside, and he never pushes me on this. As far as he concerns, I have lost interest in women. I have not tortured or murdered humans unless I needed to put up a show. However," he paused and looked at his hands. "I have produced enough potions to harm in the past, and for this, I should be damned forever."
"That's not true," she was tearful.
"But a sinner can hope to release himself of guilt somehow, by knowing his erred ways and vowing to sacrifice himself for the good cause," Severus continued as if he hadn't heard her. He looked straight into her eyes, and there was an intense heat in his that wasn't there before. "And he hopes to find solace in those who care about him."
Tracing her smooth cheek with a finger and wiping her tears along the way, he said with tingling emotions, "I like you- don't act so surprised- the way you talk, the way you chortle, the way you radiate life. You offer me small moments of joy. But I- I sucked it all away from you. That's not what I intended to do," his eyes softened. "I want you to smile again, babble again. I want you to be happy."
He looked down, deep into her chocolate irises. Then he bent down and kissed her.
It was a close-lipped, contact kiss, albeit a very lingering one at that. Severus felt her cold lips quivering against his, and left her with a sense of regret. The moon showered them in a hazy white light, making her face surreally pale. Nevertheless, as she opened her eyes slowly, two patches of pink rose on her cheeks.
Hermione could not describe what she had felt, nor did she know what to say. "That's... my first kiss," she blurted the first thing that came to her mind, and her blush deepened.
He did not look surprised. Not taking his eyes off her, he reached into his pocket and took out a small velvet box.
"Merry Christmas," the phrase was foreign on his tongue. He opened the box, which revealed a plain, diamond-shaped ruby. The pendant was hanging to a gold necklace.
"Emergency Portkey," she said, enticed by the simple beauty of the jewel.
"And a necklace," Severus replied, hoping for once that she could be a plain girl rather than the brilliant witch that she was. He leaned closer and put it on her.
Hermione shivered as his hand brushed the back of her neck. The necklace felt cold to her skin, and the ruby sparkled a bit under the moonlight. She touched it thoughtfully.
He sat back and admired the gift he picked specially for her, and commented, "I would have chosen an emerald, but then, this one feels right."
"Oh, that reminds me," she said, taking something out of her coat's pocket. Then, she took out her wand and enlarged it to its normal size. He peered curiously as the object grew on her palms. When the gift was fully grown, she handed it to him shyly.
"What is this?" He fumbled to unfold the long piece of cloth. The fabric was so soft that it felt like it would melt under his touch.
"I knit it myself," she answered timidly, crossing her fingers behind her back.
"Is this supposed to be... a scarf?" Cried Severus incredulously. The prolonged piece of cloth was almost as long as himself. He goggled at the silver scarf gleaming in his hands. Some parts of it were obviously knitted wrong, and some bore the marks of amendments. She had to be the worst knitter in the Wizarding World.
"Er, yes?" She replied, widening her eyes expectantly at him.
"If that's so, this has to be the longest, most hideous-" as he ranted, he wrapped the silver scarf tightly around his neck, circling it twice before it would not brush his boots. "-don't know why you bother to knit-"
Hermione replaced the crestfallen expression on her face with a enormous smile when she saw Severus putting on the scarf. She could see that he was rather uncomfortable that he was suddenly on the receiving end of such warm and loving affection. She giggled and threw her arms around his neck, now snug in a soft silver scarf, and spoke into his ears:
"Merry Christmas to you too, Professor."
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A/N: I know this chapter is not as long as some previous ones, but my chapters end where they need to end. As EnsignAbby pointed out in her review, I really need to work on my grammar. I hope you guys see a growth in my style and language since the first chapter. I will rewrite and reformat the whole story later. In the meantime, you guys should be a good girl and REVIEW. All anonymous reviewers who wish to be on the mailing list, please leave your e-mail address. Also, please visit my website, for the latest news on my updates. Mahalo!
