Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, if I did I would be Rumino Takahashi. Basically I got a whole story from the idea about Miroku being a massage therapist! Not your average muse but hey, it works!. Anyways R&R and hopefully enjoy!

A lot of people have commented on Miroku saying 'bloody brilliant'. I figured since this is an AU fic then he could have picked it up anywhere. Umm he went travelling, or maybe he wasn't even born in Japan! It just struck me as something he might say it he wasn't constricted to the culture of feudal Japan. Anyways as they say, On with the show! Or er.. story ;;;

Just so everybody knows this is the UN-EDITED version. I've been waiting months for my proof reader to get off her lazy butt and post the edited version (which only she has the copy of) for me but meh. (No offense though Tsuki ;;;;)

Picture Perfect

Chapter 2

"And! And he was horrible! He just Dumped me like that ON OUR ANNIVERSARY!" A middle aged English woman almost jumped out of her seat as she wailed her story to her favourite hairdresser/ psychiatrist. Said hairdresser was torn between trying to keep the woman still so she could actually put blond foils in the lady's hair and patting her shoulder to comfort her.

Sango settled for forcively pulling the woman back into her chair and echoing some comforting words. She then proceeded to finish the woman's hair, which, in the current circumstances of the client, was quite a feat.

She had just finished her last foil when she heard a rather loud slapping sound coming from a nearby room. Sango smiled to herself, somebody was FINALLY starting to help her with her hobby.

For the second time that day a hysteric blur made its way towards the door. This , however was a different kind of hysteric. This hysteric was the kind that threatened legal action and suing for harassment before saying to herself 'Sod it; I'll just kill him instead'. And thus Miroku was in trouble. He wasn't about the get any help either.

Both Sango and Kagome sighed in union. Sango from her hair dressing station and Kagome from half way across the room.

Kagome finished applying the last bit of lipstick on her client and trotted over to the front desk for the woman's bill. Kikyo was too busy sulking to help Kagome's clients. This meant Kagome had to bill them herself.

Kagome sighed for the second time that day and wondered vaguely to herself how she had managed to get used to this… Unique environment. Unique was the first and nicest word Kagome had managed to recall when she thought about her current job. Kikyo, undoubtedly hated her, Kagome wasn't quite sure why yet but it wasn't exactly on her top ten 'things to find' list quite yet. So if Kikyo wanted to hate her, then Kikyo could hate her.

Sango was a different story, Sango, as far as Kagome was concerned, was a legend. They had become fast friends and Kagome was beginning to feel that she had known the woman for years. Sango was by nature, somebody that didn't take crap from anybody. Thus, she had been chosen to baby-sit Miroku and his… habit.

Kagome thought wistfully back to when she had been told that men often thought with a very different part of their anatomy to their brain. In Miroku's case both his hands AND his brain thought like that. This was quite an ironic turn of events considering the profession he had wandered in to.

Once Kagome had asked him about his profession. He simply flashed her another of his heart-stopping grins and said that he was good with his hands.

Catching the undertones in what he said she'd started blushing furiously. Miroku had taken the opportunity to fondle her butt, an action he had paid dearly for. Kagome wasn't sure who had hit him first, her or Sango.

Kagome had unknowingly earned herself brownie points with Sango when she'd hit the pervert.

"Oi, you!" Kagome's train of thought was broken by a harsh yell. She wiped the bemused expression from her face and turned to the source of the voice.

Inuyasha snapped his fingers in front of the new girls face as if to bring her back to reality. He raised an eyebrow at her as she turned to him giving a startled "wha?" in response.

"I'm leaving for lunch; if a woman named Kiya rings I've either been killed in a Han gliding accident and fallen off a cliff with sharp rocks at the bottom or run away to join the Yakaza. Inuyasha expected the girl to be at least a little surprised. She didn't bat an eyelid. Instead she stared at him flatly.

"Mother-in-law?" Kagome asked offhandedly.

Inuyasha smirked and held up his hands to indicate its lack of a wedding ring. "Not married" He had to hand it to her though, it had been a good guess. Not that he as ready to admit that to himself though. He was still sour about her humiliating him.

"sure" Kagome turned away as he walked out the door, he still refused to call her by her name, and he'd been acting like an asshole to her from the word go. Okay, it was fair to say that they hadn't started off on the best terms but at least she'd apologised later. The asshole had thrown her apology back in her face and he was STILL holding a damn grudge against her. She frowned in frustration as she watched him walk out the door.

God he had a nice ass.

After two drag queens, a woman with a chip on her shoulder and a Anna Nicole wannabe Kagome signed out for lunch, or maybe it should be called afternoon tea. She grabbed her home made lunch and sat down at a nearby table to eat. She didn't even notice a pint sized delivery boy walk through the door.

Kagome was just about to tuck into her vinegared rice when she was once again interrupted by a yell.

"Hey lady! Where do I put this?"

Kagome looked wide eyed down to what appeared to be a walking box, a talking, walking box. She stared.

The box piped up again about a second later. "HEY! I can't hold this thing forever you know!"

Kagome took the box dubiously and put it on the table next to her and stared at the kitsune under it. Kagome could have squealed; the kid was so cute she almost picked him up and hugged him, only, her better judgement decided against it.

Shippou sniffed the air as a delicious scent wafted his way, he sighed happily, then noticed the girl's lunch. He looked up at her wide eyed "Can I have some?"

Kagome barely had time to answer before the kitsune plopped himself up at the table and began to eat her lunch. He gave a squeal of delight after he had finished his mouthful. Between mouthfuls the boy began to talk at a rapid pace.

"I'm Shippou" he piped

"Kagome" she answered, still a little bewildered.

"I like you" he continued, pointing her fork at her. "You're a good cook!"