Chapter 4
More Notes: yeah, this one gets kind a violent, there's some torture. Deal with it.
Even More Notes: In response to a review that I received about OCC (out of character comments), I refer this reviewer (and anyone else that's just curious) to the works of Tolkien such as Lord of the Rings (the book, not the movies), the Silmarillion, and even the Hobbit to some extent, where you can see for yourself what elves really are like in Tolkien's world as opposed to the LOTR-movie elves.
"What?" asked Elrond, stunned beyond belief.
"Well," said Glorfindel. "Not technically. I will not fade because of it. But…he did not have my consent."
Elrond glanced at Erestor. Erestor did not quite look ashamed. The look on Erestor's face reminded Elrond of how a child would look when they got caught doing something wrong. "Tell me what happened," he commanded.
Glorfindel sat down, running his hands through his hair. "I don't expect you to believe me, Elrond. But it is the truth. Last night, he called me to his rooms. He said he had something he needed to talk to me about. I believed him. So I went to his rooms. He let me in, and we talked for…I don't know, maybe ten minutes. It became clear to me that he had nothing to talk to me about. So I got up to try to leave. Only he wouldn't let me. He's quick, Elrond, and he's strong. He beat me to the door. Then he…he bound me and took me to his bedroom. And then he raped me."
"Did you hit his face?" asked Elrond.
"I tried to defend myself, Elrond." Glorfindel took his shirt off. Elrond could plainly see a multitude of small injuries dotted across Glorfindel's chest. "I had to."
"I walked in and saw you two asleep next to each other," interjected Haldir.
"Have you ever been raped, Haldir? Do you have any idea how exhausting it can be? I was still tied up and I was sore all over. I decided it was best to sleep and get out before he woke up. Which I did do. I don't want to know what would have happened if he'd have woken up first."
Elrond didn't want to believe the story. With all his heart, he didn't want to believe it. He had been in love with Erestor for too long to want to think that Erestor could commit a crime of that magnitude. "Erestor, do you have anything to say for yourself?"
Erestor shook his head. "I will not defend myself, as no defense is possible. I…things happened precisely the way Glorfindel described them. I am not going to say I'm sorry, because I am not."
"Erestor…" said Haldir, a pleading look on his face. "You've got to be joking…"
"Shut up, Haldir. You mean nothing to me."
Elrond looked at Haldir and saw him recoil as if Erestor had struck him. "Glorfindel, do you swear that these events happened as you described?"
"Yes, Elrond…I would also like to say that I…I beg your forgiveness for spending a night with someone else. It was not my intent, and I…"
Elrond smiled a little. "It is not your fault what happened. There is no need even for forgiveness." The smile disappeared. "Erestor, do you swear that these events happened as Glorfindel described?"
"Yes, my lord."
"Elrond, I would like to say something," said Haldir.
"What?" asked Elrond. He doubted that Haldir could be of any use at the moment, but he was here and so Elrond supposed that he at least deserved a say in what happened.
"Erestor didn't do this."
"Offer your proof," said Elrond. Right now, he was swaying extremely towards believing Glorfindel, as much as he didn't want to. There was simply no evidence of Erestor's innocence.
"Think about all that has happened to Erestor since Glorfindel arrived. That bruise on his face a while back, his broken wrist, now this. Would it not be more believable that it was the other way around, that Glorfindel raped Erestor and has been beating him since he arrived?"
"Only that isn't the way it happened," said Erestor calmly. "Haldir, stop trying to defend me. There is nothing that you can say to exonerate me. I did what I did and now that I have been caught, I must stand in judgment. Elrond…I deserve no leniency for my actions and I refuse to throw myself on your mercy."
Elrond wanted to believe that Glorfindel was lying. Elrond wanted to believe that the Erestor he had known for so long was still as good as he had been before this discussion started. But he had been mistaken in his judgments before in his long life, and this was obviously just another one of those times. "For your heinous crime, Erestor, a crime that…in my mind, is among the worst any elf can commit, I see only one possible punishment for you…you are hereby banished from Imladris for the rest of your life. I will send messengers to Lorien and Mirkwood detailing your crimes. I cannot say that I believe they will give you refuge. The Valar have mercy on your soul…you have until sunrise tomorrow to be out of Imladris."
Erestor bowed stiffly, then rose to his feet and walked out of the room. He closed the door quietly behind him. The three elves in the room could hear his quiet footsteps go down the hallway.
Haldir was next to speak. "You are a fool, Elrond. You know as well as I do that Erestor is not capable of committing a crime like that. I am leaving tonight or tomorrow, and you can be sure I will inform Celeborn and Galadriel what kind of justice is offered in Imladris." He slammed the door behind him and Glorfindel and Elrond could hear his noisy footsteps head off in the same direction as Erestor's.
Elrond walked over to Glorfindel. "I am sorry for what happened to you, my friend. There are no words that can describe what you went through, no way that I can understand, but you have all my sympathies…anything I can do for you, I will do. No matter what."
Glorfindel smiled. "Thank you. I think right now I just want to sleep. It has been a long day for me and…I can't wait for it to be over."
"One thing I would like to ask you."
"Mmm?"
"I would like you to take Erestor's position as my Chief Advisor."
"Are you asking me to move permanently here?"
"Yes, I am." Elrond bit his lip, waiting to see what Glorfindel's decision would be. A part of him knew that what he had said to Erestor was true, that Glorfindel wasn't the kind of elf he permanently wanted in his life, but he knew that he needed someone.
Glorfindel smiled a bit more broadly. "I would love to do that. But…what about the problem you called me for."
"It will be dealt with. Don't feel obligated to go deal with it. I want to keep you here safe with me…meleth."
Glorfindel looked at Elrond with surprise. "Meleth? I…I didn't know that you felt that strongly towards me, Elrond."
Elrond was struck with the sickening feeling that Glorfindel did not feel the same way. "I apologize for being so forward…I should not have been."
"Don't kid yourself. I wanted to hear that as much as you wanted to say it. I have wanted…I have tried to drag your attention away from Erestor since I arrived here. And until now, I have felt that I have been in his shadow."
"The Erestor that I knew is not the Erestor he truly is. The Erestor that I loved would have never…done what he did to you. He lost all my love…he lost my respect…he lost my friendship. That is despicable. If it were not for the fact that I condemn kinslaying, he would be dead now."
"You would kill him for me?"
"He won't survive long out of Imladris. He is smart, but if Lorien and Mirkwood similarly banish him, he will have nowhere to run to. I feel no sorrow in knowing that he will soon die."
"I love you, Elrond. I love you so much. I just want you to know that."
"I love you, too."
Erestor knew he wasn't going to take much with him. The fewer things he brought with him, the faster his horse could go in getting him away from Imladris. He knew that Elrond was deadly serious for him to be out of Imladris by sunrise. Which meant that he would have to leave this room in about ten minutes if he wanted to accomplish it. He shoved a set of clothes into his bag, filling it. He closed the bag and headed for his door. He looked around his room, felt the two daggers at his waist, the bow and quiver over his shoulder, the sword belted to his waist, and knew that this chapter of his life was over.
"This is madness, Erestor."
It was Haldir. He stood at the doorway, blocking Erestor's exit. "Get out of my way, Haldir."
"I love you, Erestor."
"Get out of my way."
"I know you didn't do this."
"I will give you one last chance, Haldir. Please don't make me hurt you. You don't deserve that from me. Let me leave."
"I'm coming with you. Wherever it is you plan to go, I'm coming with you."
"I'm not dragging you into exile."
"No, I'm following you into exile."
"I'm not letting you do that. You don't deserve that…"
"You don't deserve this!"
Erestor pulled the bow off his back and nocked an arrow. "Haldir, don't make me do this. I have no desire to be a kinslayer. Just get out of my way. I…I apologize for wasting your time."
Haldir could tell what kind of mood Erestor was in and thought it wise to do as he was told. He stepped into the room, slightly away from the door. "I think Elrond is wrong and Glorfindel is lying. I don't care whether you believe me or not, but I know you are innocent."
Erestor pushed past Haldir. "Innocent is the last thing that I am," he said as a parting remark.
Legolas didn't find out about the chaos in Imladris until the noon meal the following day. He had been secluded in his rooms. The strangest thing had happened; he had awoken in his bed with the clear marks of having made love with someone, but no memory whatsoever of having done so. Even at his drunkest moments, he had never been without any recollection. And that terrified him. So he had stayed in his room for a while, trying to remember. Nothing came to mind, so eventually, he left, seeking out food.
Immediately, he noticed that both Haldir and Erestor were gone. He thought that, as they were lovers, they might just be skipping a meal in favor of some more enjoyable activity, but Elrond's stony face told differently. A little hesitantly, Legolas walked over to that end of the table to sit down. "Where is Erestor, Lord Elrond?"
"Banished," Elrond said without a trace of emotion.
Legolas paused, waiting for the punch line. When none came, he asked, "Seriously, my lord."
"Seriously."
Legolas paused, digesting this information. He could see no reason why Erestor had been banished. Legolas knew that the pair had worked together ever since the Last Alliance. To the best of everyone's knowledge, they were the best of friends and, as was sometimes rumored, perhaps lovers. Legolas knew that they were not, but he had clearly seen the friendship between them. "For what crime?"
"Rape."
Legolas was stunned. He couldn't believe Erestor would do such a thing. Erestor could be cold, and was direct to the point of bluntness. He could be annoying and was persistent beyond all belief, but he was not one to abuse another, mentally or physically. Erestor just didn't have the right mentality in Legolas's opinion to be a rapist. "Are you certain, my lord?"
"Please don't pester me about this issue, Prince Legolas. I spent a long night last night discussing it. I am certain that I made the right decision and I am not used to having my judgments questioned."
"I was not questioning your judgment, just trying to discern the facts."
"Very well."
It was obvious to Legolas that Elrond was almost in physical pain from having to do this to his best friend. Legolas knew that Elrond had to be absolutely sure that this was true or he wouldn't have been able to do it. Legolas couldn't help but wonder who Erestor's victim had been. Haldir? No, Legolas was relatively certain that they were in a loving relationship. Elrond himself? Almost certainly not. Elrond was strong; Erestor wouldn't have been able to do anything Elrond hadn't wanted to do. So who? "If I may ask, Lord Elrond, who was Erestor's victim?"
Elrond stared at him steadily, for a moment appearing as if he did not understand the question. "Lord Glorfindel," he finally responded.
"That's absurd!" said Legolas.
"Control yourself, Prince Legolas, or leave the table."
Legolas frowned. None of this made any sense. "And where is Haldir?"
"I have no idea. It is not my duty to be aware of everyone in Imladris's whereabouts."
"Is this going to affect our trade agreement?"
"No. Lord Glorfindel will take Erestor's place as my Chief Advisor. Everything will run as before, only without Erestor's presence."
Legolas finished his meal in silence, and then left the room. He needed a lot of time to think this over. Had Erestor really been able to hide such a dark facet of his personality from everyone? Had Erestor really had that dark of a desire inside him? Legolas didn't want to think so, but he didn't know Erestor as well as Elrond did, and Elrond had obviously come to that conclusion.
Galadriel could feel Elrond's mental anguish as he Farspoke her. "I have dire news," he said.
"Is someone of your household killed or injured?" she asked, knowing that that was one of the few things that could shake the ever-present calm that seemed to radiate around Elrond.
"No, not as such. I would have spoken to you last night about this, but I was…I was not in control of myself."
"Because you are in control now?"
"Much more than I was."
"Please tell me what is wrong." She felt very kindly towards Elrond. She had known him when he was much younger and had been a sort of mentor to him until he had grown up. "Please tell me how I can help you."
"A terrible crime has been committed in Imladris by one whom I thought I could trust."
"Kinslaying?"
"No, not that bad. An elf has been raped in the Last Homely House."
Galadriel gasped. "That's awful. Is the…will the victim survive?"
"I believe so."
Galadriel was willing to trust Elrond's judgment. He was the best healer she had ever known and if he said the victim would not fade, Galadriel would take his word for it. "Have you caught the criminal?"
"Yes, last night. It was Erestor, my Chief Advisor."
"No!"
"It hurt me to find out the kind of elf he really is, but he did not deny it and his victim clearly pointed him out. I didn't want to believe it, but I could not allow Erestor to remain in Imladris. I banished him."
Galadriel had long ago learned about Elrond's attraction to Erestor and could understand how much Elrond had been hurt by his course of action and why he sounded so out of control. "Permanently?"
"Yes. I cannot have him hurting my people. What I wanted to ask you is whether or not you will close your doors to him as well. I trusted him too long and then he betrayed that trust. I cannot force you to do anything, Galadriel, but I ask that you trust me and understand that Erestor is a dangerous elf, dangerous to himself and dangerous to others. I ask you to close your borders to him before he can hurt anyone else."
Galadriel could tell that Elrond was on the verge of tears and could tell that he had been that way for a long time, probably ever since he had condemned his best friend. "I will have to consult with Celeborn. I do not rule Lorien by myself. I can tell you, though, that it is almost certain that we will close our borders to him as well. We do not need such criminals in our midst."
"Thank you."
"Elrond? Be strong. I know how much you are hurting, but you have a people to rule, and you have those that truly care about you."
"Thank you, Galadriel. I know."
Glorfindel was stunned that everything had happened exactly the way that he had planned. He hadn't really wanted to get Erestor banished, but finally that elf was out of his way. Not that Glorfindel really minded his presence, but Erestor influenced Elrond too much, and Elrond was head-over-heels with Erestor, no matter what he had said to Glorfindel. Glorfindel hoped now that Elrond would turn his love away from Erestor and towards him.
Another obvious plus to being the victim of such a terrible crime was all the attention showered upon him by Elrond. Elrond had barely left his side since last night, and apologized profusely whenever he had to be elsewhere. It felt good to have someone care that much about him. It had been a long time since he had been shown such affection.
"Lie down," said Erestor as Glorfindel tried once again to get out of bed. "You're hurt and walking around is only going to make it worse."
Glorfindel groaned as he lay back down. "You sound like my mother."
"As you're living with me now, I see that as my duty. To be a lover when you need it, and to be a mother when you're acting like a child."
"I am not acting like a child."
"That's a matter of opinion. Explain to me how games of war are not childish. Because it is precisely one of these games that broke your ankle. You won't be able to fight again for at least a week, more likely two."
"Stop it, Erestor. Just come over here and kiss me."
"You are so romantic," said Erestor sarcastically as he rose to his feet. "I don't know what I'd do without you."
"I love you."
"I think I'd love you more if you weren't such an idiot."
"Because that makes me feel incredibly loved. I just want you to know that."
Erestor gave him a very rewarding kiss. "Does that make it any better?"
Glorfindel put on a face of mock-agony. "Oh, my ankle hurts."
"Big baby." Erestor smiled enticingly. "Now, I'll tell you what I can do. I can either call in the healers to see if they can do something about that ankle, or I can try my best to make you forget that it hurts."
Glorfindel didn't even have to think about his answer.
Glorfindel was a little upset that he had gotten Erestor exiled from nearly everywhere. That hadn't really been his intention. He had just wanted Erestor out of here for a while. He supposed that he could have gone about it differently, but it was Erestor that was known for his subtlety, not Glorfindel of Gondolin. Honestly, could one expect a Balrog-slayer to have much in the way of tact?
The door opened and Elrond walked in again. "How are you feeling, meleth?"
"I'm fine, Elrond. I can't say that I mind all this attention, but you are the Lord of Imladris and I know you have more important duties than attending to me."
"So you'd prefer I didn't?"
"I didn't say that."
Elrond kissed him. "I love you so much." But Elrond knew that that wasn't entirely true, that he was kidding himself. He still loved Erestor, but now he hated that part of himself. He knew that Erestor was a criminal, but his heart didn't seem to want to listen to his rational brain. His heart still raced to think of Erestor, to think of his smile, his beauty, his wit, his intelligence… Elrond shook his head. He knew he had to move on. Erestor had never loved him. Erestor had only ever used him and that was all Elrond had been to Erestor. Glorfindel, on the other hand, was real and caring. That, Elrond knew, was what mattered. Glorfindel could give him the kind of love that he knew he deserved. Erestor just wasn't worthy of him. It was as simple as that. Erestor was a criminal and Elrond was the Lord of Imladris. Two such people would simply never be compatible. Elrond knew, though, that it would take his heart some time to adjust to that.
A part of Erestor felt alive to be living by himself in the wild. He had lived in the sheltered environs of Imladris for so long that he had almost forgotten what raw nature was like. It felt good and Erestor was glad that he got a chance to experience it. But Erestor was intelligent enough to know that it would grow old after a while. Then life would get harder, as he would have no home to return to.
He knew he wasn't going to head for Lorien or Mirkwood. Erestor knew that Elrond would make sure he wouldn't be welcome there. There were a few scattered elven towns elsewhere, Erestor knew, but they were wary of strangers, and Erestor did not want to go somewhere only to be an outcast. He could fend for himself, he knew that, and that was what mattered to him. He would find a stretch of land and settle down on it. He knew how to farm, or at least, he knew the rudiments of farming. After a while, Erestor knew that he would probably be able to sustain himself and could travel to the small elven towns to trade for supplies he could not grow himself.
But there was an important task that he knew had to be completed before he could settle down to his peaceful life. And that was the matter of the orcs on Imladris's border. Erestor had made sure to steer well clear of the place on his exit, but knew that he would now have to do something about it. It was the very least that he owed Elrond.
It took him the better part of two days to build a small shack for himself at the edge of a small grove of trees. Manual labor was nothing new to Erestor, but it had been millennia since he had last had to perform it extensively. He had thought himself fit, but by the time he collapsed down to sleep the second night, he hurt in places he hadn't even known existed. But it was good work. It was good, simple, clean, healthy work. Erestor knew he could get used to a life of solitude. But not yet. As much as he wanted to leave Imladris and all her problems behind, he couldn't do it. It just wouldn't be right.
So on the third day, he woke up at dawn, left all his unnecessary belongings in his shack, shouldered his bow and quiver, strapped on his sword, and put his daggers in their usual hiding places. Then he set out to do what he knew he had to do, however much he didn't want to do it.
