Disclaimer: If we owned Rurouni Kenshin, green mushrooms will rule the world! Hehe…

(A/N: This story is like a talk show play script, so K is for Kumiko, S is for Soujirou and LA is for live audience. OK?)

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Interview with… Soujirou Seta!

K: Konichiwa and welcome to 'Interviews with a Rurouni or Hitokiri'! I'm your host, Kumiko and let's welcome our very special guest, Soujirou Seta!

LA: (applause)

K: Konichiwa Soujirou!

S: Konichiwa Kumiko!

K: Now, I would like to ask you some questions.

S: Sure.

K: How old are you?

S: 18.

K: Really? You look so um…

S: I know, like a 15 year old.

K: Sorry…

S: That's okay, I admit it myself.

K: You really do seem like a very nice person…

S: Hohoho… Then why do they put me as a villain?

K: Um…

(Sudden silence, grasshoppers chirping)

S: Never mind…

K: Sorry…

S: Haha… I don't know myself actually…

K: (Sweatdrop) Anyway, how come you're so good at swords? They say you have natural born talent eh?

S: Well, I have Shishio to thank for it.

K: Even if he brainwashed you as a villain?

S: Yeah…

K: (Touches Soujirou's forehead, wondering if there's any fever)

S: What?

K: Nevermind, again.

S: But that's true, really.

K: Well, I guess so.

S: Why?

K: No reason… Anyway, how long were you in the Juppon Gatana?

S: Ngg… Since I was with Shishio, around um… few years lah… I forgot… Umm… I…

K: Keep it simple would you?

S: Okay, okay… I don't know. I forgot.

K: There then, that's better...

S: Phew…

K: What kind of girl would you like to be, well… I mean your idealistic girl…

S: Um… A girl with a natural-born ability to fight with a sword, with honor and even she's so tough, she's still got to be pretty…

K: Um… I don't think anyone like that exists in this millennium since you wanted a sword girl… Anyway, how would you win a girl's heart?

S: Let me see, I will throw her dog in the lake and I will swim with my clothes still on and save the dog. All of my screaming fans will come running to me; I will give her dog back. After that, I think the girl will cry over me and she will express her undying love to me!

K: … (whispers) No comment…

S: What?

K: Isn't that kind of extreme?

S: Not for me because I am extreme!

K: Err, right. Did you get Hiko's narcistic virus?

S: No, I just got his ego.

K: Well, you're brave enough to even admit that! Well, how are you able to attack so fast?

S: Well, I train a lot with my sensei, Shishio…

K: (whispers) Typical…

S: And I do a lot of footwork like running and jumping on the walls and ceilings…

K: Sugoi…

S: And I drink a lot of lo-fat cappuccinos!

K: Err… what?

LA: (Thinks) Does not make sense… no connection at all…

S: Lo-fat cappuccinos make you run very fast, not sleepy at all and not fat! (Pretends to know everything)

K: (Shouts) Don't give him any caffeinated food! (Normal voice) Alright, next question… What other sports do you do?

S: Let me see… Fencing, kendo (duh…), track, gymnastics, and um… that's all I guess.

K: Oh… I see, so now I'm definite you don't swim or play basketball.

S: I guess. That's the reason I'm kind of short.

K: Hahaha… I've never met anyone who would admit that… Well, I've got another question for you.

S: Okay.

K: What do you think about yourself? (whispers) Ego trip…

S: Well, I'm fast, a good athlete, strong, handsome…

Soujirou fan girls: That's true!

S: … and nice.

K: (Snorts) Kya, right…

S: What?

K: Oh, nothing…

S: But it's true! I am nice! I do all the dirty work when Shishio's too lazy…

(Shishio in Hell)

Shishio: Achoo! Achoo!

Satan: What's the matter? Isn't it hot enough here?

(Back to the studio)

K: Now, you must be very obedient and loyal, not mentioning you're treated like a dog…

S: That's true; I should be Shishio's master. But… (heroic music and pose) … I will stay true to my master and be obedient to him! I will do as I am told even though I don't want to! (heroic music ends)

LA: (sweatdrop)

K: (sweatdrop) Right… So you must be very honorable! (whispers) …Or very UNhonorable.

S: (shooting-daggers glare)

K: (trembling) Ehehe... Just joking… Anyway, one more question…

S: Yes?

K: Would you like a rematch with Kenshin somehow?

S: I'd love that and this time, I'm not going to loose! (heroic pose, spotlight on Soujirou, heroic sound effects)

K: Oh…

(Studio doors slam open, Kenshin enters)

Kenshin: Come on and fight!

S: Okay! Bring it on!

K: Hey wait! I want to ask you, why do you want to fight him so much?

S: Since I like the challenge and he nearly killed Shishio!

Kenshin & S: (Runs toward each other) HYAAAAAA! (Takes out sword)

WE ARE HAVING SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES AND THE AUTHORESSES DO NOT WANT TO DESCRIBE THE SCENE BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO LAZY AND IT'S TOO VIOLENT, PLUS THEY DON'T WANT NEITHER OF THE LOVELY CHARACTERS TO GET BLOODIED UP. NOW WE RETURN TO THE CURRENT PROGRAM.

K: That's all the time we have, bye!

LA, bloody Kenshin, bloody S: (applause)

fin-

………………………………………………………………………………………………

(A/N: What do you think? Please review!)

Moshii