Disclaimer: (Sung to 'We are The Champions') We don't own RK, my friend; if we do we won't be doing this… We also borrowed Sanzo and lots of other things, we only own the host Kumiko, so don't sue us!
(A/N: (Sung to 'C is for Cookie') K is for Kumiko, and it's good enough for me, S is for Shihio is it good enough for you? LA is for Live Audience and other characters will appear normally…)
Okay, that was weird. Anyway, on with the show!
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Interview with… Shishio Makoto!
K: Welcome to Interviews with a Rurouni or Hitokiri! I'm your host Kumiko!
LA: (applause)
K: On tonight's show, we have the Shadow Hitokiri himself… Shishio Makoto!
LA: (applause)
K: Konichiwa Shishio!
S: Yes, yes, good day to you too, you weakling.
K: (still smiling) Okay! I'm just going to ignore that! Well, I have some questions for you.
S: Go ahead.
K: Why did you turn into a villain?
S: Because… (singing)
They burnt me
They had no dignity
I had lied there
In my blood
Making a pool of red
I felt nothing but mad
I felt nothing but fed up
But I know
That one thing will stay the same
There is a way
I will survive
I will survive…
Sanzo (from Saiyuki): (apperaring from nowhere) Urusai saru! THWACK! (disappears)
LA: (sweatdrop)
K: (laughs, points to where Sanzo was) Okay! Wrong anime! Hehe…
S: Anyway, I was a villain to get revenge on the Imperial Loyalists who burnt me alive.
K: I see, any other reasons?
S: Yes, because I'm a villain in this anime, the producers promised to give me chocolate everyday!
K: (sweatdrop) And again, I got a call from one of the audience asking me to ask you this…
S: What?
K: How do you keep your skin so tanned? (slowly backs away)
S: Hey! Who asked that?
LA: (everyone slowly raises hand)
S: (glows) Well, I'm happy to know that someone wants to know my beauty secrets!
Everyone: (sweatdrop)
S: My secret is, I like to go for barbeques and I go in the barbeque too!
K: So you're the food?
S: I get tanned and have dinner that way!
K: Err… okay. Next question, what do you like about your soul mate, girlfriend, lover, partner in crime…
LA: (shouts) JUST GET TO THE POINT ALREADY!
K: Yumi Kamigata?
S: Well, um…
Yumi: (bats eyelashes)
S: Err…
Yumi: (puts on more green lipstick)
S: Uh…
Yumi: (straps a belt full of bombs to herself) I will blow up if you don't say why you love me!
S: (waits patiently for Yumi to blow up)
BOOM!
K: Okay, that was a little awkward and weird. Since you didn't answer my question before Yumi blew up, I'll add 10 more questions.
S: What? Fine, I'll answer… Um… (pauses for a very, very long time)
K: Well?
S: What?
K: What what?
S: What what what?
K: You said what first…
(silence)
Don Leno (from Shark Tale): (appearing from nowhere) Yo, that was my line! (slaps Kumiko and Shishio with tail fin, disappears)
(silence, grasshoppers chirping)
LA: (sweatdrop)
K: Okay, back to the question…
S: She's pretty, wonderful, cute, beautiful, adorable, magnificent…
K: (looking bored) Make it simple.
S: Fine. She's perfect.
Prophet from audience: I, the prophet from Lake Watchamacallit, say that nobody's perfect!
S: Okay then, Mr. Prophet from Lake Watchamacallit, she's around 99.9 perfect them. You happy now?
Prophet: Yessuh!
K: Well, whatever, just sit down before I call security. Now, let's move on…
S: Go ahead.
K: How'd you win Yumi's heart?
S: Threatened her.
K, LA: Huh?
S: Just joking. Well, I helped her out from the Maria Ruz thingie…
K: Maria Ruz?
S: Don't remind me.
K: Oh, that you treat her like a mistress?
S: I won't answer that for my own privacy and safety.
K: Good enough.
S: Thank you.
K: Nope, I was bluffing. Answer or I'll add 10 more questions. 10 very embarrassing questions…
LA: Mwahahahahahahhahahaha…
K: Well?
S: Die you…
K: Me? I'm a host, when guests are interviewed, there's an objection on killing your host.
S: Yeah, yeah. Whatever, well. Back to the question, yes, I did.
K: Wow, I can't believe someone like you would treat her like that.
S: No, I 'eat' her like that…
K: Aren't you burnt enough to eat yourself?
S: I'm too burnt too eat, it's disgusting you know.
K: Okay, so the next question I was going to ask is already answered…
S: What was it?
K: Asking if you were a cannibal after you drink your victim's blood.
S: (puts on fake fangs and Transylvanian accent) For I am Count Dracula! Mwahahahahha…
K, LA: I thought vampires were extinct…
S: (takes of fangs) Yeah, I guess so.
K: Okay, let's move on. Who do you want a rematch with?
S: Aoshi maybe, he's so cool, plus he almost beat Kenshin once, and he's handsome too…
Misao (from audience): My stepdad's not gay, he won't think you're handsome too!
Aoshi: CHARGE! Die you!
BZZT!
Sorry again, we hate blood and we are also too lazy to describe and well, Shikijo's flail broke the camera, now we suggest you to think of cute little puppies and not the fight. Now we return.
BZZT!
K: Okay, that's done! TAKE ME TO THE DIRECTOR, I WILL NEVER INTERVIEW THAT MANIAC AGAIN! (normal voice) Thank you and good bye!
Aoshi, LA, S: (applause and backing away from K)
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(A/N: Yes… our corrupt and twisted minds are still not satisfied. Please review or else Mr. Teddy gets it! (holds teddy bear and gun) Meh… just kidding. But reviews are welcome!)
Moshii
