Part 12
Author's Note: If anyone who reads this has any ideas or suggestions for where this story should be heading, I would be more than happy to have your ideas. Because right now, it's just kind of drifting along. Thanks :)
And as always, please review
Elladan stumbled into the tent and found Dùlith there, a concerned expression on his face. "Come here," said Dùlith.
Elladan walked over and fell nearly on top of Dùlith.
Dùlith smiled and pushed Elladan slightly off him. "Did you talk to Haldir of Lorien?"
"Yes."
"And how are Lord Elrond and Lord Glorfindel doing?"
"The same as before."
Dùlith arranged himself comfortably on his back and pulled Elladan over, so that Elladan's head was resting on Dùlith's chest. Elladan snuggled up to Dùlith, who placed a fatherly kiss on the top of Elladan's head. "You have to take it one day at a time," he said.
"Nothing will ever be the same."
"You're right. It won't. But you have to focus on the here and now. You have to defeat these rebels and get your brother back. Then you can worry about running Imladris."
Elladan closed his eyes and tried to sleep. It was clear to him, from the way that Dùlith's breathing had not settled into a natural rhythm, that Dùlith was not sleeping, either. "You knew my father, didn't you?"
"Only inasmuch as we were at the same battle."
"Now you're lying to me. You know my father better than that." Elladan attempted to sit up, but Dùlith's arm around his waist prevented that. "Why won't anyone tell me anything about what happened before I was born? Haldir wouldn't, either, and Glorfindel and Father just change the topic. I want to know what happened."
"No, you don't. You would hate your father and Lord Glorfindel and probably Haldir as well by the end of the story."
"I can deal with it. Tell me."
"Maybe later. Go to sleep now." Another gentle kiss.
"You'll make everything better, right?"
Dùlith smiled. "I can try."
Haldir was sitting in Elrond's room. He had to be there if and when Elrond and Glorfindel woke up. They were two of the few people that really understood him, no matter how much hatred there was between them. He was drifting off to sleep when he heard a moan issued from one of the two. Haldir's eyes shot open and he looked over to the two figures on the bed. He saw Elrond's chest rise once, hesitantly, and then slowly fall. Haldir held his breath until he saw the motion repeated. Over the next few minutes, Elrond's breathing slowly became more regular, though Glorfindel's became shallower and erratic. And then Glorfindel's breathing stopped. Haldir rose to his feet. This didn't look all that normal to him.
Elrond moaned. His eyes flickered open then closed again. Glorfindel's breathing did not resume. Elrond's hands began to twitch convulsively. Glorfindel showed no signs of life. Elrond fell silent again, and his breathing remained steady, constant. Haldir sat back down. Now he was certain that something had gone really wrong with this process.
"Elrond?" asked Haldir softly. There was no response. Haldir knew he couldn't stay up here all night, that he would have to get some sleep at some point. But he didn't want to leave, he wanted to know what was going to happen.
A gentle knock on the door.
"Come in," called Haldir.
It was Elladan. He looked tired and upset, both of which were to be expected. His eyes immediately flickered to the bed and he saw his father breathing. And then saw that Glorfindel was not. "Wait…aren't they both supposed to live or both to die?"
"In every case I've heard of."
"So why does it look like my father is better and Glorfindel is dead?"
"I couldn't tell you, Elladan."
Elladan nodded. "Do you know how much longer it's going to be?"
"Well, your father regained consciousness for a couple of seconds, but that might have meant nothing. There's no way to tell about this kind of thing. I think that your father will survive, though."
"But not Glorfindel?"
"I don't know. It doesn't look good for him right now."
"You should go to bed, Haldir. You…you are fighting tomorrow, right?" Elladan was horrified of him being the only one to fight tomorrow; without (obviously) his father and Glorfindel, Haldir would be a necessity.
"I think so, Elladan. But you should go back to your rooms and try to sleep as well. You need the sleep more than I do."
"Okay. I think I'll do that." But Elladan had no intentions of going to his rooms. He was going to find Dùlith. He somehow doubted that Dùlith would be persuaded to come to his rooms. He had snuck out of Dùlith's tent about an hour ago, and was fairly sure that he could get back in without Dùlith ever noticing he was gone....
...He was sorely mistaken. Dùlith was sitting up in the tent as Elladan walked back in. "Where were you?"
Elladan was tired and not in the mood. "Who are you? My father?"
"Try not to act like a whiny human teenager. You are, right now, the Lord of Imladris. At least pretend to act like it. So, where were you?"
"If I'm the Lord," said Elladan in a lofty voice, "I'm afraid that it's none of your business."
"You were with your father, weren't you?"
Elladan looked away.
Dùlith rose to his feet, or as much as he could in the tent. He put his arms around Elladan and pulled him down. He rocked Elladan as he sobbed, much like a parent would. "It's okay to be upset. It's okay to want to go to see him. But if you are to be in charge of the battle tomorrow, I am afraid that you do need some sleep."
"There's no way I'll be able to sleep."
"Then lie down and relax." Dùlith lay down, made himself comfortable, and then pulled Elladan next to him. "Let me get some sleep, at least."
Elladan leaned over and kissed Dùlith.
Dùlith smiled. "I'm too old for you," he said.
"Elves are immortal, you know. Age doesn't matter at all."
"You're young enough to be my son."
"So are many elves, if you really think about it."
Dùlith swatted him playfully. "Are you calling me old?"
"Maybe." He kissed Dùlith again, but Dùlith pushed him away.
"Don't. Just go to sleep."
Reluctantly, Elladan did as he was told.
Legolas was milling around Belegtur's camp. He had not yet seen Elrohir, which worried him. Had Elrohir been killed already? Legolas sincerely hoped not. Fortunately, he had not had to go out and fight yet, and had faced no chance of death yet, though he had heard about how bad it was.
But obviously something had gone right for these rebels, as the atmosphere seemed just like that of a celebration. This knowledge made his stomach turn, because only one thing would bring on such happiness: Elrond or one of Elrond's kin dying. Legolas knew all of them and would be deeply affected by any of their death. Especially if it was Elrond. Legolas didn't know if Imladris would survive Elrond's death.
To one passing elf, he asked, "What happened?"
"Elrond has been killed!"
Legolas forced a smile. "That's wonderful news."
"Too right it is." The elf wandered off, leaving Legolas to his dark thoughts.
Legolas couldn't believe that Elrond would allow himself to be killed by one of these scum. They were terribly trained and should crush themselves against Elrond's force. Maybe Elrond had tried to play the hero. That struck Legolas as likely. Or he could have been trying to save someone else. That was probably even more likely.
Legolas knew that Imladris would not be able to hold up for long under this attack with Elrond gone. That meant that he had to destroy this insurrection from the inside. Frankly, he thought that that was what his father had planned all along. But now he would attempt to do it with renewed vigor. Imladris was counting on him to get this done. If he didn't, Imladris could be a threat to all the Elvish realms. It was Legolas's duty as an elf to protect his fellow elves, and he would do that as best as he could.
And so the third day of the battle began. All of the Imladris elves, who had not been told yet about Elrond, could nevertheless sense that something was wrong by the renewed vigor of the rebels. They never saw Elrond or Glorfindel, and that led to all the rumors spreading. Most of them were pretty close, but some were downright outlandish. Elladan tried to take control (with Dùlith whispering instructions into his ear), but he knew that was not nearly as effective as his father.
The battle was an apparent stalemate. Imladris could field more warriors than the rebels could, but somehow the warriors appeared to be better at killing the warriors. Elladan supposed it was that Elrond's warriors had been trained and told over and over again never to kill an elf. So they had inhibitions that the rebels didn't.
"Are we going to win this, Dùlith?"
"I don't know. Normally, I would say that we would be able to crush them without any trouble, but there's something about these elves. They are so driven that every one of them is willing to die to kill us. It's not something that I'm very familiar with, that kind of suicidal ambition."
"Do you think that we are going to win, though?"
"If this drags on long enough, yes, we will win. We have more bodies than they do, and that's what it will come down to if this fight goes on for more than a couple more days. But they could wipe us out today. It's completely possible."
"And what will I do then?"
"You will run. You will change your name and you will hide. These rebels will hunt you down, to wherever elvish realm you go. You will never be safe again."
Elladan swallowed hard. That didn't sound like a pleasant life. "But you don't think that that will happen, do you?"
"It could."
"Would you come with me?"
"Yes. I don't think you would be able to survive without my help."
Elladan was slightly hurt by this, but wasn't in the mood to fight with Dùlith. He didn't need that right now.
Haldir had not slept. He was dead tired, but knew that he had to fight. Elladan would need his guidance. As he was leaving, Elrond's eyes opened again, for longer this time, and he appeared to see Haldir. Haldir even saw a small smile on his face before darkness claimed Elrond once more. Glorfindel appeared to be dead, though he had a slight pulse. He was still not breathing. The only thing that Haldir could think of was that the Valar were keeping Glorfindel alive for some reason.
"I'll be back later," he said aloud as he left. He had no idea whether either elf could hear him, but he didn't want to just walk out.
When he made his way outside, both forces were milling around in a way that amused Haldir immensely. They could be fighting, but instead they were both in sight of each other and acted as though nothing at all was happening. Haldir quickly found Elladan, and saw also that some dark-haired elf was talking to him. Haldir rode quickly over; the last thing that Elladan needed was stupid advice from some commoner.
"Morning, Elladan."
"You look terrible, Haldir. Did you sleep?"
"No. But that's not important. Who was that elf?"
"Dùlith."
"Don't listen to advice from commoners. They don't have a clue what they're talking about. Trust me, I've made that mistake already."
"But he fought at the Last Alliance."
"Well, a good portion of the elves alive during the time did. That doesn't mean he knows what he's doing. Don't trust his advice, he has never commanded a battle before. I have, and so I know what I'm talking about."
Elladan was surprised by the sudden way Dùlith had disappeared when Haldir rode over, but did not have time to dwell on it, as suddenly the rebel forces charged. "What should I do?" he asked.
"Don't meet them. Wait for them to get here."
Elladan nodded unsteadily, his eyes fixed on the swarm of elves rapidly approaching his own swarm.
Everything seemed to slow down and for a few precious moments it seemed that the rebel elves would never actually reach the Imladris elves. The Imladris archers took out about a quarter of the force before it reached the mass of angry elves. But the rebel elves just kept on coming, ignoring the elves falling around them.
Haldir could see the fear on Elladan's face, but knew that he could not say anything to comfort him. This was Elladan's test, and if he could not deal with it in a manner befitting the Lord of Imladris, he would never be fit to rule Imladris, no matter how wise he grew. If he lost this, Imladris would forever view him for that, not for anything he might do in the future. Elladan had to do this by himself.
"Hold," said Elladan, more to himself than anyone else. Elladan wanted nothing more than to go out and meet the rebels, but both Dùlith and Haldir had told him not to. And he trusted both their advice, whatever Haldir might say about trusting Dùlith. "Hold." The elves drew closer and closer. Elladan felt the fear really come to the surface. He was in command of this battle; if it was lost, he would be blamed.
Now the elves were within twenty paces of Elladan. He looked over at Haldir, who was wearing a blank, impassive face. Elladan knew that Haldir would not help him. This was entirely his own decision. How can everyone be forcing me to grow up? he asked himself. Another part of his brain answered the question: Because if father is dead, then you are the Lord of Imladris. You have to be able to do this.
Dùlith was watching Elladan. He could see the indecision on the elf's face, and knew that if Elladan couldn't handle this, he would have to take control. No matter whether elves like Haldir listened to him, someone who knew what they were doing had to command these elves. And Haldir, while a good commander, did not know Imladris. But Dùlith had faith in Elladan. He was so much like his father.
And then the elves were upon them. Dùlith raised his sword and began to take out elves left and right. He did not feel good about doing so, but it was a matter of survival. And when it came down to survival, he would ruthlessly pursue his own best self-interests. He cast occasional glances in Elladan's direction, making sure that he was alive and okay. Haldir was doing a decent job of protecting him, but Haldir was not infallible.
Elladan knew that it was impossible to tell if he was winning or not. Too many of the elves looked the same. But at least the Imladris elves hadn't been completely eradicated. He really did not want to have to live the kind of life Dùlith described last night. He didn't see that that would be in any way preferable to winning this battle and making sure that his father lived.
He caught Dùlith staring at him more than once. He wasn't sure of the reason why. It could be that Dùlith was just trying to keep an eye on him and make sure that he wasn't killed, or it could have something to do with the obviously deepening relationship between them. Elladan didn't want to even think about what his father would say about it if his father survived. He could almost imagine the look on his father's face. He could hear his father's voice in his head: 'He's too old for you, Elladan', 'Elladan, you are of noble birth, he is but a commoner', 'Be reasonable, Elladan', 'Absolutely not'. All these thoughts managed to bring a smile to his face, and he was almost killed because of his daydreaming. Fortunately, Haldir was looking out for him, and deflected the killing blow with his sword. "Pay attention!" screamed Haldir, shocked at Elladan's lack of responsibility in this most dire of situations.
Elrond awoke in a cold sweat. He gasped briefly for air, wondering what had happened to him. The last thing he remembered was that elf standing over him, a sword in his hand. And now he was…he checked his surroundings, back in his room. Glorfindel was lying beside him.
And Glorfindel was not breathing.
Elrond immediately panicked, until he remembered that the memory of the elf standing over him was not the last thing that he remembered. He closed his eyes as he began to recall his entering into the Hall of Waiting. And then a strong force had started to pull him back. For a few precious instants, he had thought that he was saved, and that someone, like Glorfindel, was trying to bring him back. He had called out mentally, and suspected therefore that it was Galadriel, using all her strength to keep him from dying. But she had failed.
It had been cold and lonely.
Then something had pulled at him again. And this time he was sure that it was Glorfindel. He tried to calm down to allow himself to be taken away, hopefully without Mandos noticing. But Mandos noticed everything.
Then Glorfindel appeared by his side. Elrond closed his eyes in disbelief. Had Glorfindel died trying to bring him back? Who would rule Imladris? His sons were too young, and there was no one else. Glorfindel put an arm around his shoulders and murmured, "How could you be this dumb?"
Elrond smiled. "Getting killed in battle…I never thought I'd die like that."
And then Mandos appeared. "Lord Elrond of Imladris, Lord Glorfindel of Gondolin, I was not expecting to see either of you here so soon."
"So let us go back," said Glorfindel. He had challenged Mandos before, and so now felt that he had the right.
Mandos did not feel the same way. "I allowed you to plea your case before me once, Lord Glorfindel, do not try again."
"Then let me," said Elrond. "There is none to rule Imladris. If Imladris falls to these rebels, then all of the elvish realms will inevitably soon fall. I cannot allow that to happen…"
"You were the one that allowed yourself to get killed," pointed out Mandos. "And there is one in Imladris that can rule."
"My sons are too young."
"Not your sons. Another."
"Imladris cannot be ruled by a foreigner."
"He is not a foreigner. But that is immaterial. I shall make a deal with the both of you. While I make up my mind about sending both of you back, I will allow one of you to go back. The other will stay here until I have decided. If I decide to allow only one of you to remain permanently, I will take the one who is here temporarily."
"I will stay," said Glorfindel immediately.
"Absolutely not!" said Elrond. "I'm the one that got killed. You did nothing but try to bring me back…"
"Because I love you!"
"I never questioned that. But I won't let you suffer for my mistakes."
"I don't care. Imladris needs you, Elrond, not me. I will stay here and suffer Mandos's judgment. If either of us have to die, let it be me. I have lived more than I have deserved. Your family needs you. Elladan will not be able to survive losing you…"
"And I will not be able to survive losing you!"
"All of this is very touching," commented Mandos wryly, but you must make up your mind. As you are now bonded, I will add a little something else, hopefully to help you make up your mind. Whoever stays here will still be able to communicate to the other via the bond."
"Elrond," said Glorfindel. "I love you. Please let me do this."
Elrond closed his eyes. "I don't want to lose you. I have lost too many."
"I will still be with you. Just let me stay."
Elrond nodded. "Okay."
"Is that your decision?" asked Mandos.
"Yes," said Glorfindel. Elrond nodded his agreement.
And then he woke up in his room, in his bed, lying next to what was really no more than a corpse. He was so tired; he felt so weak. So he closed his eyes and tried to pretend that this whole mess was just a bad dream.
After the day of battle wound up with the rebels retreating once again, only they didn't retreat quite so far this time. Dùlith found Elladan, finally away from Haldir. "Can we go see Lord Elrond?"
"You want to go see my father?"
Dùlith nodded. "If I may."
Elladan nodded. "I don't see why not. Come on, let's go." He was certain that there was some connection between Dùlith and his father, and wanted desperately to know what it was. So he led Dùlith inside and began walking slowly towards his father's rooms. With curiosity, he noticed that as soon as they entered the hallways, Dùlith pulled up the hood of his cloak, so that most of his face was obscured, as if he did not want to be recognized by anyone. He was altogether unsurprised to see Dùlith stride ahead. Dùlith had very obviously spent time in Imladris before, whatever he said, and probably knew exactly where his father's rooms were. They came up to a turning, and Elladan knew it was the final test. The obvious way to get to his father's rooms, by turning left, was actually the wrong way to go. You had to turn right. Unless you had spent a lot of time in Imladris, and specifically with Elrond, you would not know that. Without even pausing, Dùlith turned right. "You've been here before, haven't you," said Elladan.
Dùlith did not answer him, just walking at a steady pace until he paused outside of Elrond's rooms. "You go in first," said Dùlith calmly.
Elladan nodded and opened the door. He saw that his father appeared to be sleeping, while Glorfindel seemed dead. No one else was in the room. He motioned for Dùlith to come in.
Dùlith pushed down the hood of his cloak, smoothed his quite long dark hair down into some sort of order, and then walked over to the bedside. "Elrond," he murmured, almost too softly for Elladan to hear. Dùlith sat on the side of the bed, took one of Elrond's hand, and pressed a light kiss onto the back of it. "You must be strong, Elrond." He held the hand tightly.
Elladan sensed that this was a personal moment for Dùlith, but did not want to leave. He wanted to know exactly how Dùlith knew his father, and specifically how well Dùlith had known his father. So he didn't leave, even though he knew that he really should, out of respect to all three older elves.
Elrond felt the weight shift on the bed and began to stir. Some irrational part of his brain hoped that Mandos had made his decision and given Glorfindel back to him. But the movement was on the wrong side of the bed. Then he heard a soft voice say his name, almost reverently. Someone was holding his hand.
Elrond slowly opened his eyes, expecting to see Haldir or Elladan. But instead he saw those beautiful eyes and that silky dark hair he still occasionally dreamed about. The face was slightly more lined than he remembered, but that was what time did. He closed his eyes for a second and then opened them, expecting the face to disappear. But it did not. A sad smile appeared on his face. It was so ironic, right after he was bonded to an elf that he did not really love, that he had to show up.
In that same loving voice, he said, "Elrond."
Elrond almost couldn't find the words. He didn't know what to say at all. In the end, he settled for a simple name. "Erestor."
Author's note:
Please don't be angry with me about the way I brought Elrond back from the dead. I accidentally killed him and then had to try to find some way to bring him back. My only defense: this is AU and non-canon, so I can kinda mess with Tolkien's world if i really think i have good cause. And i think that counts as good cause.
