Disclaimer etc in pt 1.

Ties that Bind pt 15


I could feel the sun creeping through the blinds. It felt warm and safe, just like the person that was holding me. If you were to tell me that my CO would be holding me this morning after all the events that had happen in the last 72 hours, I would say you were crazy.

But here I am, waking up from a couple of hours sleep in Jack's bed, with my head resting comfortably on his chest. I didn't want to wake him just yet. I wanted to savor this quiet time when I could see him at his most vulnerable. He seemed so at peace, without worry. It was a shame that he could not wear that same expression when he was awake. I could see the dark circles that were forming under his eyes from not getting enough sleep. His constant worry over my safety and that of Cassie's was taking a toll. I would have to make a better effort to make sure that there would be no reason for Cassie and I to leave.

I ran my fingers through his short hair, loving the sensation it gave my fingertips. I wished that circumstances were different; that what had happen in the last 48 hours had never transpired. There wasn't any danger in what we were doing right now. But in reality, there was danger all around us, and not only was our happiness in jeopardy, so was Cassie's life. I suddenly found myself remembering what had happen when Jack and Daniel had come back from dropping Maybourne off at Daniel's house. Seeing me asleep on my laptop instead of sleeping in a bed did not make him happy. You could tell by the way he literally picked me up and threaten to take me to bed. Forgetting that my father was there was his first mistake.

Seeing the look on Dad's face when he came in from outside and found me in the Colonel's arms was almost comical. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he was trying to figure out what was going on between the Colonel and I. My dad was making Jack nervous by the questions he was asking and the tone he was using.

After turning three different shades of red, Jack said he was sorry for his actions. He hadn't meant to cause me to feel uncomfortable. After he promised me that he too would be getting some sleep, I went to his room to go to bed. Then there were the events that took place yesterday : the service at the SGC, the attack on Cassie and I, and Jack nearly beating a man to death. Dad could tell that something had changed between us.

I had gone to bed that night after the attack and changed into my P.J.'s. I was still a little shaky from what had happened and was beginning to develop a headache. I left the bedroom to go to the kitchen in search of some aspirin. I stopped at the room Cassie and Daniel were sleeping in and made sure they were alright.

I entered the kitchen and looked out the window. As I did, I could see that my father and Jack were in a heated discussion.

Dad had stopped him before he reached Teal'c. With one hand on his arm, I could hear my dad begin to question him. "Jack, I want you to tell me what exactly is going on here. Is Sam's life in danger? I know she did not tell me everything that's going on. I know when my daughter is lying to me and she blatantly did it today when I asked her if she was all right. I want answers Jack, and since she won't give them to me, I'm asking you to fill me in."

I could see the turmoil in his face. He knew that my relationship with my dad had been rocky ever since the whole Alpha site incident. Jack sighed and raked his hand through his hair. "What do you want me to say Jacob? I don't know what Carter has told you, but I don't think it's my place to say anything without her okay. I know you love your daughter. We all do. But if she wants to tell you what's going on, I think it should come from her. All I can tell you Jacob is that I will not let anyone harm her or Cassie. I would kill anyone who would try. You have my word."

He was trying to protect me. But what he didn't know was that my father was not one to give up so easily. I learned from the best. Jack should know that.

Dad was angry; he did not know why the Colonel wouldn't tell him what kind of danger I was in.

"Jack, all I'm asking of you is to have compassion. Sam and I have been on shaky terms for a while now. It's like she has shut me out. I tried to explain to her why I had to go back and straighten things out with the Tok'ra and Rebel Jaffa. She seemed to understand then, but now I don't know. She doesn't seem to trust me anymore, and it's killing me. All the work that I've put into repairing our relationship has been for nothing. It's like she's hiding things from me and I want to know why. Please Jack. I'm asking you as a father. What is my little girl hiding from me?"

I knew he would tell him everything after that speech. He respected my father, and I knew that he could see the strain between us. He was torn by his love and loyalty to me, and his respect and admiration for my dad. He could see that the not knowing was very painful for my dad.

Taking a deep breath, he made a decision that I knew was not easy for him. And I could tell that he knew it would probably bring dire consequences for us.

I heard him start from the beginning. The rescue and retrieval of the SG team, Janet being shot and her last words to me before she died. Our pain when we all told Cassie of her mother's death, Cassie's request of wanting to say good-bye to her mother with our help, and my disappearing acts. He told Dad that he knew the rest of the story, and just skirted around the incident with Smith.

"She didn't want you to worry Jacob. That's the only reason she didn't tell you everything. She's stronger than she looks, and if I thought she couldn't handle any of this, I would have said something to her. I know you feel helpless Jacob, but she has me to protect her, as well as Daniel and Teal'c. We wont let anything happen to her or Cassie. They are our family."

Jacob nodded. "Jack, there's something I want to ask your help with. I want you to help me convince Sam that she and Cassie should come back with me to the new Tok'ra base until this blows over. They'll be safer with us at the Base Camp. I would be able to keep an eye on them, and they wouldn't have to worry about being someone's lab rats. Can I count on you in helping me with this?"

I was so shocked by the question that I nearly dropped the glass of water I was holding. How dare he try to convince the Colonel to help him get me off world. What made him think we would be safer with them? I waited, holding my breath as I did to see what the Colonel would say in response.

"I can't do that. I don't think she would be safer with the Tok'ra. I think she would be putting herself and Cassie in more danger."

I could see my dad getting angry.

"What are you saying Jack? That I can't protect my own daughter? That the Tok'ra are incapable if keeping them safe? Two attempts have been made on Cassie's life already. This last one involved Sam. What's going to happen if you guys aren't so lucky next time and they succeed? I thought you were smarter than that Jack! Can't you see that you can't protect them, and they have a better chance with me off world."

I'd never heard my father so angry. He was still gripping the Colonel's arm and I could see Jack's patience with the discussion wavering. If this were anyone else then my father would have been on his back by.

Jack yanked his arm away. "A better chance Jacob? What better chance does she have with you? You've said yourself that the future of the Tok'ra is in jeopardy, that there is trouble within your own ranks. Your own council is keeping you out of vital decisions. Oh, and did you forget that she's on Anubis's most wanted list for creating the only weapon that destroys his soldiers! I'm sure they have a standing order to kill first and ask questions later. So tell me exactly why she would be safer with you because I just don't see it. At least she has a fighting chance with us, her team. We would do everything in our power to keep both of them safe. It's more then I could say for the Tok'ra, who would rather cut their losses then help anyone out. You know I'm right Jacob. If the Tok'ra where attacked, and Carter and Cassie were cut off from you, and there was no chance of a rescue, they would be left behind. No Jacob, I don't think they'd be safer with you. Not with all the deception going on with the Tok'ra."

The Colonel had crossed the line again, but I don't think he cared much. He would not give us up without a fight. Maybe Dad had finally met his match. And I did agree with what he said. What made my dad think that we would want to go with the Tok'ra?

Dad bowed his head, and I knew that Selmac would be making an appearance next.

"Colonel O'Neill. I'm sure that Jacob did not mean that you were incapable of keeping his daughter and Cassandra Fraiser safe. He's just worried about her since the incident at the Alpha site. Their relationship has been strained and Samantha has been distant with him. Jacob has been trying to bridge the gap between the Rebel Jaffa, the Tauri, and us. It has put a strain on his relations with the Tok'ra council since he is starting to question their intentions. I know you do not trust the Tok'ra. You've had nothing but bad experiences with us, but be assured that if Samantha Carter and Cassandra Fraiser were to come with us to the base, they would be kept out of harms way."

The Colonel was not convinced. "Nothing personal, Selmac, but I think that decision is up to Carter. I can't make her do anything she doesn't want to. Not that I would be pushing her to go with her father and you. In my opinion, she's safer here with us."

I knew it took a lot of control for him to speak with so much restraint towards Selmac. But it's always the calm before the storm. I knew he would be losing his cool soon.

Selmac responded. "Tell me, Colonel O'Neill. Are your personal feelings for Major Carter clouding your judgment? Jacob was alarmed to see her in your arms the night before and today Jacob witnessed you comforting Samantha. I t didn't seem like she was putting up too much of a fight, and you looked comfortable with her in your arms. We wouldn't want you to endanger her or Cassandra because of those feelings. And Jacob is concerned that you might harm her career at the SGC. He is most curious on what exactly your relationship is with his daughter."

Bowing his head again, I knew Dad was coming back to hear his answer. Instead, Jack turned around and headed towards Teal'c to avoid a confrontation.

Grabbing his arm again, Dad turned him around. "What the hell is going on between you and my daughter, Jack? You two seem to be getting closer every time I come back to the SGC. Did you forget about the regulations, or is it just because you're the mighty Jack O'Neill, they don't apply to you. You have my little girl's career in your hands and don't really seem to care. So are you going to tell me exactly what's going on or what?'

I was about to step outside to put a stop to this. I didn't want either one of them saying too many things they'd regret later.

The Colonel pulled Dad's hand off. "This is not the time or place for this Jacob, and I have never acted inappropriately with Carter. What you saw was concern for one of my teammates. You know me, and I would think that you would also know that I would never do anything to harm Carter in any way. If things were to change , then I think that decision would be up to Carter and I to see were things would go, and not you, the SGC or the Air Force would have a say. So drop it Jacob before we say things we will both regret later."

I saw Teal'c moving in closer because he had heard the argument and decided it was time to put a stop to it.

"Jacob Carter. I believe you are only concerned for your daughter and Cassandra Fraiser's safety. But you should not question O'Neill's intentions toward your daughter. I have worked with them for years and they have acted with respect towards each other. I do agree with O'Neill that the decision to go with you should be made by Major Carter and Cassandra. I also believe it would be wise that you two should refrain from speaking of this any longer, since both of you are too upset, and words may be said that could prove harmful to the relationship you each have with Major Carter."

The Colonel's phone started to ring and he turned around to answer it. It was the SGC. The Tok'ra needed to speak to dad. Giving my dad his phone, Jack proceeded to brief Teal'c of what we had found so far. He also wanted to thank him for stepping in when he did.

Teal'c reported to Jack that there had been no activity around the house, and that he and Ferretti were in constant radio contact. Major Palmer and Captain Russell would be relieving them in 1 hour.

Teal'c could see that this was taking a toll on the Colonel.

"O'Neill. You have not had a nights rest since this started I do believe it would be in all our best interest that you do get some sleep. You will not be any assistance to us if you are not well," Teal'c said.

Putting a hand through his hair he said, "I'll get some rest when this all blows over Teal'c. People that I care for are in danger, and I won't rest until those responsible are dealt with. But thanks for your concern."

Finishing with the call, I could see that Dad was upset. "I told them that I was going to be here for a couple of days. I wanted to be able to help you guys. But it appears that I am needed back there. I need to continue with my talks with the council if there is any hope for the alliance."

Trying to change the subject, Dad added, "Jack, I think Teal'c's right. We need you to be at your best. You just sent Sam to get some sleep. Don't make me call Hammond to make this an order. You are no good to us if you aren't at your sharpest. We need that military mind of yours to be alert. I have to get back to the base. I'll try to be back as soon as I can. Jack, we are not through talking about this, not by a long shot. But I'll wait till this all blows over. Then you can tell me exactly what your intentions are."

Intentions my foot! How dare he try to pry into my private life? Were was he when I was growing up and trying to figure out dating or when I almost made the biggest mistake in my life by almost marrying Jonas. No, he had no right to dictate to me about my private life. Seeing him walking back inside, I ducked down and headed back to the bedroom.

I was still upset as I climbed back under the covers, but I knew if I didn't relax, I would be getting no sleep. I started to take deep breaths, trying to calm myself. I would definitely be having a conversation with my father tomorrow about this subject.

I was just nodding off when I heard him open the door. I heard him riffling through his drawers, probably looking for something to wear. I was lying on my side, my back to him. He was standing near the bed, looking down at me. I could tell just by the way he was breathing. He was analyzing what my father had said. I'd seen him break down conversations before, picking out points to see if he was right or wrong. I knew my dad's words were being replayed over and over in his head.

What was he trying to decide? I knew he loved me, and I loved him. But was that enough? My career was still going and so was his. But knowing Jack, he was trying to figure out exactly why I was with him. He would never ask me to sacrifice my career, I knew that, but wasn't our happiness worth the sacrifice?

As he sat on the edge of the bed, I moved over towards him, though I knew that it was probably a bad idea. He just had a battle with my father, and even though his mood was probably not in the best form, I wanted to be there for him. He laid down behind me and gathered me into his arms and held onto me tight. I could feel him shaking from anger or fear.

When I couldn't breath anymore, I spoke up. "Jack, I can't breath. What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. I just needed to hold you; it's been a hectic day. I just wanted to feel you in my arms. Forgive me. I'm the one that told you to get some sleep and I'm here waking you up," he said, quickly releasing me and started to get off the bed.

I had to make a decision. I grabbed his hand and pulled him back into bed with me.

Knowing that my dad had left, but not wanting him to know that I was eavesdropping, I said, "this is a really bad idea Jack. My dad's here and I know he's going to ask me 101 questions tomorrow about why I was in my CO's arms."

"Your dad left. He went back to the SGC. Teal'c and Ferretti were just relieved by Palmer and Russell, and I checked on Daniel and Cassie there both out. But your right, it's not wise. There are too many people here and I wouldn't want to jeopordize your career for my selfishness in wanting to hold you."

He tried to get up again, but I wouldn't let him. "I do sleep better with you holding me. We could say it's for theraputic reasons."

Getting up, I locked the door and then got back into bed, pulling the blankets back and pulling him into bed with me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and snuggled close. He told me of the confrontation between Dad and him, and how I should decide what course of action I wanted to take.

I attempted to take a soothing breath before speaking. "How dare he question your integrity! Does he think you would jeopordize my career or yours? And since when is it his business who I decide to be with. He wasn't around when I really needed relationship advice, and I almost ended up marrying a psycho. So he wants to be Dad now. Well no thanks. I've been taking care of myself since my mother died and I don't need his help now. I will deal with it when I see him. And what makes him think I would take Cassie and myself to live with the Tok'ra? I'm sorry he dragged you into this, but he won't be questioning you again."

"Sam, I understand where your father is coming from. I would do the same if you were my daughter. He only wants what is best for you. He feels helpless enough not being around all the time. Don't lash out at him for caring. When I walked into this room, I felt lost. Your father's words were running through my head. Then I saw you, and I suddenly found myself thinking that all I ever wanted was right in front of me. But why does it feel like it is slipping through my fingers?"

I wanted to cry. For him to actually admit that he was afraid of losing me was huge. This is a man who doesn't usually express his feelings very well. I gathered him into my arms and hugged him; he hugged back. "I'm not going anywhere. I promised you we would make the decision to leave together."

That's how I ended up in my CO's arms. Lookingat him, I saw that he was awake. He was staring at me. He caressed my check and leaned over closer, giving me a kiss. It was just what I needed. It soothed my nerves and I returned the kiss with one of my own.

"Good morning," I said with a smile.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked.

I nodded yes. He then got up and headed for the bathroom, wanting to shower and change before anyone found out we'd spent the night in the same bed.

Jack stopped short of the bathroom and turned around, looking at me. "Sam, I was thinking about last night. Maybe your dad has a point. I don't want to lose you, but if it is for the best, then maybe we shouldn't take the next step. I just don't want you to regret any decisions you make under the stress you've been under the last couple of days".

Where did that come from? I got out of bed and stood in front of him with my hands on my hips. "Do you love me?"

Looking back at me, he took my hand. "So much that it scares me. I've never felt so out of control. You would think that I would be able to handle this, but it's hard. I want to protect you and shield you from harm, but if I do, I find myself wondering if you even want me doing that. I feel empty when you're not here, and so full when you are."

"You've just described how I feel. I tried to move on, but there's no one who can fill my heart the way you do. We will deal with this together. I love you Jack. There, I said it, and it can't be undone by anyone."

Coming closer to me, he kissed me. I responded, wanting to seal our commitment to each other. Hearing a knock on the door we both jumped back and asked who was it.

It was Daniel. We let him in. He wanted to see if we were awake before the others to make sure we weren't caught in a compromising situation. We thanked him and I asked who was up. He said no one, and the only reason he had gotten up was that Maybourne had called. He wanted to know why Jack's phone was off. He and Murphy had found information on Peters and Kelly and wanted Jack to go with him to check them out.

Daniel left to go make some coffee and Jack went to shower and changed, wanting to talk to Maybourne to see what he had found out.

I changed and went to the kitchen to see what I could rustle up. It was going to be a long day, but we were getting closer to securing our safety and happiness.

To be continued.