Chapter 14

Author's Note: If anyone has any particular wishes to see this story go in a certain direction,I would more than welcome any suggestions.


Elladan woke up and found his bed empty. He sat up, rubbing his eyes. Where was Erestor? "Erestor?" he called.

Erestor appeared at the bathroom door. "Yes? You need to get up, Elladan. It'll be time to go out there and fight soon."

Elladan got out of bed tiredly. "When is this all going to end? Can you tell me that, Erestor?"

"No, I can't."

A knock on the door. "Who is it?" asked Elladan.

"Haldir," came the voice.

"Come in," called Erestor, not bothering to cover his body. It wasn't as if Haldir hadn't seen it all already. He did smile at Elladan's shocked expression. Well, that was just one more thing that Elladan was going to have to get used to.

Haldir smiled, trying his best not to stare. He didn't feel that Elladan would appreciate that too much. "Erestor, Elrond wants to see you."

Erestor sighed and nodded. Then he grinned. "Think I should get dressed?"

"I think that that would be wise, meleth…" Haldir trailed off as he saw the look on Elladan's face and winced. He had not meant to do that, it had just kind of slipped out.

"Pay no mind to him, Elladan," said Erestor gently. "He…"

"No," said Elladan in a hurt voice. "Just go."

Erestor pulled on the same clothes he had worn since he had arrived. He would have to see about getting some new ones, he mentally decided. Casting one last look at Elladan, who stubbornly refused to meet his eye, he shook his head and followed Haldir out of the room.

"I'm sorry, Erestor," said Haldir as soon as they were out of the room.

"Don't worry about it, Haldir. He's going to have to get used to the fact that I've slept with just about everyone here. He's very young, I'm not sure that he's going to be able to deal with it." Erestor shrugged. "But that's his problem. I have never required a lover in my life." Now he smiled. "Speaking of lovers, who's yours?"

"Well, Celeborn and I were…"

He was cut off by Erestor's laughter. "I always knew the two of you would end up together. You were so perfect. And Celeborn always had a thing for you."

"But we fought right before I left." Haldir shrugged. "But that's just how things go sometimes."

"Trust me, he'll apologize sooner or later."

"Why? Have you fucked him, too?"

Erestor bit his tongue and looked away. Trying to change the subject, he asked, "What does Elrond want?"

But Haldir was not going to let Erestor off that easily. "You did, didn't you?"

"Only once." They were now at the door to Elrond's rooms. "I'll go in alone. I'll see you later…meleth." Haldir smiled and squeezed Erestor's shoulder. Erestor opened the door and saw Elrond sitting up in bed. "Morning, my lord."

"You're still going to call me that?"

"It's still true. So, what do you want?"

"Come here."

Erestor walked over willingly and sat beside Elrond. Elrond folded an arm around him and pulled Erestor close. Erestor did not fight it, he knew it would be pointless. But he sensed that Glorfindel was watching and so would not let Elrond go too far. "You know, I can't lie here all day…as much as I'd like to. I have to go out and fight. I have to try not to let Elladan be killed."

"I know. That's why I wanted to see you. Obviously, I am not going to be fighting for a couple of days…"

"At least a couple of weeks, my lord," said Erestor sternly.

"For a couple of days," continued Elrond as though Erestor had not spoken. "And so I want you to take command of our forces…"

"Absolutely not, my lord. Do you know what that would do to your son's credibility? It doesn't matter that I am more experienced than him, what matters is that he is next in line of command. I cannot take his place. You know that. If I do, he can never rule Imladris."

"Command with him, then. Erestor, I have already lost one son to these rebels, as well as Glorfindel. I don't want to lose Elladan…and I don't want to lose you."

"I'm touched by your concern…"

"Stop it, Erestor. You know I love you, you know I have loved you for millennia. I…over time, I have learned to accept that you don't return those feelings, but don't insult me by pretending that you don't know how I feel."

Erestor ran a hand through Elrond's hair. "I think…that if you were not bonded now, there would be more of a chance. I have had time to think…to live without anyone to hurt me."

"To hurt you?"

"Drop it, Elrond. I'll command with Elladan, though if he pushes me aside, I will allow him to do so…"

"He would be a fool to do so." It hurt Elrond deeply that Erestor was apparently more interested in Elladan than himself. He told himself that he had to respect Erestor's decision, no matter what.

Erestor could tell what Elrond was thinking and smiled, loving Elrond even more for it. He grabbed Elrond's hand and held it to his chest, letting Elrond feel that his heart was actually racing. "I was wondering something, Elrond."

"What?"

"Do you still play chess?"

As Elrond couldn't see Erestor's face, he couldn't tell whether Erestor was joking or not. "Yes, I still play chess."

"Would you like to play tonight? I mean, as long as I'm not killed and as long as Mandos doesn't decide that he wants to take you to the Halls of Waiting and leave Glorfindel here for me to deal with."

Elrond grinned. "I would love to. But I think that if we talk any longer, you're going to miss the battle."

Erestor reluctantly pulled out of Elrond's embrace. "And that would be such a tragedy. I don't know how I would be able to live with myself." The way that Elrond looked at him as he said this was by and far enough to make Erestor fall in love with Elrond all over again. If he didn't have so firm a control over his emotions, he would have kissed Elrond. "I'll see you this evening then, mellon-nin."

"Don't get yourself killed."

"I'm immortal, remember?"

"That's what all those elves out there thought."


Haldir was thinking about what Erestor had said. Closing his eyes, he could remember the long days and longer nights that he had spent with Celeborn. If he could do anything, he would have chosen to make sure that those times never ended. As much as he loved Erestor, he now realized that he had to accept that Erestor would never be his. He was certain that Erestor would be more than happy to be just friends, but a relationship had been tried. Even if it had not failed, per se, there had just been too much time passed, too much had happened. It would never work again. It barely worked the first time. Haldir was not about to willingly jump into what he could see would be a painful, depressing relationship. What he wanted, really, was Celeborn. It was then that he made a decision. If he came out of this alive, and Haldir thought that the prospects of that happening were reasonably good, he would travel back to Lorien and beg Celeborn to take him back. He didn't want to think about what would happen if Celeborn said no, but that wasn't something he really wanted to think about and so he didn't.

"Haldir?"

Haldir broke out of his reverie and turned around to see Elladan. "Yes, Elladan?"

"Will you tell me why Erestor left?"

Haldir closed his eyes. Just thinking about it made him angry at Elrond, made him want to kill Glorfindel, and made him want to love Erestor again. "No, Elladan. I'm too involved in what happened. I couldn't give you a fair description of what happened. I'm rather biased towards Erestor."

"Fine. Give me your biased version." Elladan was so tired of not knowing that he would be willing to listen to anyone.

"Your father and Erestor had been in love for a long time. But they are both rather stubborn and neither wanted to admit it. Glorfindel came along for a mission that your father thought suited him. Glorfindel seduced Elrond and then got Erestor out of the way by claiming that Erestor raped him. Elrond believed him and kicked Erestor out."

"Did Erestor rape Glorfindel?"

"Of course not."

"Of course not? Like you said, you're biased. But Erestor does seem the type."

"Speaking from your vast wealth of knowledge of him, of course. It will be easier, Elladan, if you want to have a relationship with him, that you should just drop it. It will be easier on both of you."

"Talking about me again, Haldir?" asked Erestor, sneaking up on them. "Come on, we have to go get ourselves killed. Elladan, your father has put you in charge of the battle."

"Not you?" asked Elladan, surprised.

"You are the Lord while Elrond is not present. I am just an advisor."


Today the battle seemed more restrained. Enough lives had been taken by both sides that everyone seemed hesitant to order the first charge of the day or to be the first to strike down an elf. A measure of sanity seemed to have been introduced to each elf's mind and looking on all the things they had done over the past couple of days, it was clear that this fight was nearing its end. Most of the bodies still lay littered across the once-beautiful lands of Imladris, and the presence introduced a somber mood. Everyone that had fought here would be remembered by history as a kinslayer.

Finally, the rebels charged Imladris's forces. But it seemed weak and the Imladris warriors quickly batted them down. The fight continued on in an almost half-real state. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion and only half-heartedly. The rebels had apparently lost the will to fight.

Not that the Imladris contingent was complaining. At about noon, Erestor rode over to Haldir and said, "Maybe we will finish this today."

Haldir grinned and replied, "I hope so. We have all done far too much for the gods to e'er forgive us."

"Well, the gods cursed me long before this, but now at least we shall be together in the afterlife."

Haldir grinned. "Yes, but we will be sharing the space with all these." He gestured wildly, encompassing everything as far as the eye could see.

"Ah, well, that is the price one must pay."

Haldir laughed. It had been too long since he had been able to do that. More than anything, that seemed to signal to him that this hell had finally come to an end. Too many had given their lives for this. Too many mothers and wives would mourn and curse Elrond and the rebels for doing this. Haldir didn't blame them. He would do the same if he were in their shoes. He might still do that, anyway. He knew that most of the Lorien warriors had died already. He had fought with many of them before and knew that Lorien would mourn their passing deeply.


Elladan, try as he might, could not focus on the battle. He knew that this distraction was the easiest way to be killed, but he couldn't help it. Pictures were flashing through his mind. Erestor when he walked into Elladan's room last night, stripping casually and joining him in bed. Erestor this morning emerging from the bathroom with no regard for his nudity. The flippant way he had treated Haldir. The way Haldir had called Erestor 'meleth' and the shine in Erestor's eyes when Haldir had done so. People could talk about him having to overcome Erestor's past all they liked, but if Erestor had been so casually involved with most of the elves in Imladris (as it seemed to be), then there would be major problems. Elladan expected commitment and sensed that he wouldn't get that from Erestor. But maybe he was wrong. He would have to see.

Erestor rode over to him late in the afternoon and asked him, "What are you doing tonight?"

Elladan couldn't believe that Erestor was asking him this in the middle of a battle and so was at a bit of a loss for words. Finally, he managed to say, "Nothing right now."

"Good. I'm going to come to your rooms then, tonight. If you don't mind."

Part of Elladan did mind. Part of Elladan wanted to get back at Erestor for his casually sexual attitude towards everything. "No, I don't think that's a good idea."

A surprised, slightly hurt expression appeared on Erestor's face for a second. Then his face returned to its typically impassive mask and he said, "Very well. I will take up my old rooms. If you need to find them, I'm sure someone can tell you where they are." Then he rode off.

Elladan felt bad about doing that. It wasn't often that somehow tried this hard to seduce him. But he wasn't sure even if Erestor really wanted anything more than a quick romance. It was clear at least to Elladan that Erestor's love lay with his father. The last thing that Elladan needed was to compete with his father for an elf. That was just wrong in Elladan's mind. Part of him wanted to call after Erestor and tell him to come by. But he was strong enough to say no. Erestor would just have to find someone else to sleep with tonight.

Elladan had the feeling that that would be sickeningly easy for Erestor to do.


Elrohir had been pacing the camp all day, trying to avoid all the looks everyone gave him. It seemed as if, somehow, they all knew exactly what had happened last night and this morning. Elrohir didn't know if they approved and didn't care. All he wanted was to make it go away. But there was no real way of breaking a blood-bond, save through death of one of the participants. Elrohir felt that taking his own life would somewhat defeat the purpose, and he had to admit that Belegtur was probably right when he said that he was strong enough to drag Elrohir into death with him.

He had no options. He had never heard of an elf forcibly bonded, but could see now that it was entirely possible. Even if it wasn't exactly the best thing in the world, it had been done and there appeared to be very little that Elrohir could do about it. For better or worse, he now had a life partner.

Now that he was bonded, he knew that he had to do everything possible to keep Belegtur alive. Belegtur was now the key to his own survival. So, whatever it took, Elrohir would have to convince him to forget this insane attack. There were better ways to go about doing this. Whether Belegtur would actually listen to him was another story.

Haldir rode over to Elladan as the sun began to set. "I believe that this will be the last day," he commented.

"How can you tell?"

"I have experience of far more battles than I hope you will ever see," said Haldir. "When everyone begins to tire of the fight, one party gives up. It won't be us, because this is our land and it is physically impossible for us to give up unless we concede defeat and that we will not do. It will have to be them."

"What about Elrohir?"

Haldir closed his eyes. "We will try to find him, you know that. But the odds are not good, Elladan. You have to know that." Elladan nodded. "But there is still a chance, and we will not give up until we know what happened. Erestor is a valuable spy, and the rebels do not know who he is. If worst comes to worst, your father will send in him to find Elrohir. And he will not fail."

"You have so much faith in him."

"He has never given me reason to lose faith."

Elladan realized something just then. "You really did love him, didn't you?"

"I still do love him. He's the kind of elf who you can't fall out of love with. You'll learn. Trust me. I know, and so do many others. Erestor is someone you will either love for all eternity or hate for all eternity. It just can't be any other way."


Belegtur could see that he was losing the battle and didn't like that at all. He was supposed to win; those with the just cause were always supposed to win. Imladris certainly was not in the right; he was. He couldn't understand why he wasn't winning. His forces weren't strong enough to do much more than one last charge. So he rallied them to do so. It didn't matter to him if he died, if all of his elves died. If they had to die, as they surely would, then they would go out in a blaze of glory.

As his elves charged the Imladris elves, he could hear the murmurs of fear from the other elves. They weren't as committed as he was; they did not have the true dedication to be willing to die for the Cause. Well, they would have to learn. Belegtur demanded that from them. The Imladris elves were waiting for them patiently. Belegtur saw Elladan, Haldir of Lorien, and some other elf that he did not know all clustered together. That would only make it easier to take them all out, some part of his mind told him.

It all seemed like a dream. He cut through all the elves, his eyes fixed on his target. They seemed to be aware of him and moved closer together. The one that Belegtur did not know took a position in the front, along with Haldir, keeping Elladan out of sight. Belegtur let his emotions take control and let out a primal scream as he fell upon them. He received uncountable small wounds, but he managed to get a few good swings in. He left a deep gash up Haldir's thigh and opened the unknown elf's throat. Then Elladan stuck his sword deep into Belegtur's right shoulder. And twisted; ripping muscle and tendon. The sword dropped from Belegtur's hand and another cry escaped his lips. This time it was one of agony. Though he knew it made him look like a coward, he knew he had to leave before he died. His willingness to die had suddenly disappeared and now he wanted to live. That meant that he had to go somewhere to be safe. And the safest place he knew right now was his camp. So he ordered a retreat.

He did not look back as he fled the battlefield. He had seen Haldir fall. It was likely that he died. And the unknown elf was almost certainly dead. One just did not survive such blows. It was a pity that he hadn't killed Elladan, but that could come tomorrow. With his guardians removed, Elladan would be left defenseless. Belegtur was sure of himself and allowed himself a small smile through his agony. He would win. The just cause would win. The Valar had surely blessed him, for there were many times that he could have died, but he had always survived. If the Valar had not supported his actions, then they would surely have taken one of those opportunities and killed him. And if the Valar blessed him, then there really was no way that he could lose. That brought a bigger smile to his face.

Elladan dropped to his knees beside his two fallen companions. Haldir was still gasping in agony, hand clutching at his thigh. Erestor was silent on the ground, blood pulsing out of the gaping wound in his neck. "No, Erestor, no you can't die." He felt for Erestor's pulse. It was very weak, and slowing quickly.

"Let him go," said Haldir faintly. He was sitting up, breathing heavily. He had formed a tourniquet with his shirt. While that would only help for a little while, hopefully it would last long enough to get him to a healer who could actually fix him. "Let him go."

"No." Elladan remembered what Glorfindel had done, snatched up his dagger and cut a line down his palm. "I'll pull him back."

"You're not strong enough," said Haldir. "He's much stronger than you. He'd drag you with him and he wouldn't want to do that."

"So I'm just supposed to let him die?"

"We can take him to a healer, but I don't think there's much they can do for him." Cautiously, Haldir attempted to stand. He fell back down to his knees as he tried to put weight on his injured leg. By this point, many elves had rushed over and one helped Haldir to stand, supporting much of his weight.

Another picked Erestor's limp form up. Blood was still flowing freely, much like the tears escaping Elladan's eyes. "Come on," he managed to say. "We have to get him to a healer."


Glorfindel involuntarily let out a cry as he saw Erestor fall. Would Erestor soon be joining him here? Would Mandos let the two of them meet? What would Elrond do without both of them? "Is he going to die?" cried out Glorfindel. As far as he knew, Mandos was not in the room. But this was Mandos's domain, and Mandos was a god. So Glorfindel knew that Mandos could hear him.

"I don't know," he heard Mandos say.

"How can you not know?" demanded Glorfindel. "You are a god. You're supposed to know these things!"

Mandos appeared in front of him. "Are you yelling at me?"

Glorfindel quickly calmed his temper. "No…but you can't let him die."

"I'll make a deal with you."

Glorfindel closed his eyes. He was starting very much to hate Mandos.

"You know, I can read your mind, Glorfindel."

"Right. Sorry. So what's the deal?"

"You or him. I'll keep one of the two of you…"

"That's not fair! I'm already being held hostage on Elrond's good behavior, as it were. You can't do this as well!"

"Remember, Glorfindel, who I am. I can do what I wish to the Firstborn. You have no say in it."

Glorfindel pouted.

"It's your choice now, Glorfindel." Mandos stepped in front of Glorfindel.

Glorfindel closed his eyes.

"And if you don't choose, I'll do it for you. And you won't like what I choose."

"Take me," sighed Glorfindel. He did not want very much to spend the rest of eternity here, but if he went back, he knew that Mandos would take Elrond away. And that would serve no purpose at all except to destroy Imladris.

"Are you certain?"

Glorfindel stood up (reminding himself once again that he wasn't really standing up because he didn't really have a body) and said, "You give me no choice, Mandos. I don't want to have to make these choices. You're the god, you make the choices!"

"You are aware that if I take you and allow Erestor to remain, then I will keep you for all eternity. There will be no going back this time."

I hope you know how much I love you, Erestor.

"He does."

"Then just get it over with." Glorfindel closed his eyes, expecting to feel a sudden tug of death as his soul was permanently removed from Arda. But he felt nothing.

"You can open your eyes now."

"Is it done?"

"Yes. Your body is now no longer alive. You are dead, Glorfindel."


Elrond cried out as he saw the last sparks of life leaving Glorfindel's body. "No." He looked up at the ceiling. "Mandos, how could you do this? He is my lover, I would do anything for him!" He felt the tears escape his eyes and could do nothing to stop them. He would have to let this grief run its course. Everyone he had ever loved had left him. All his bonded mates had gone. Celebrìan had never really been in love with him, just as he had never been in love with her, but the mourning process he had gone through because they were bonded had been extensive and had wrung Elrond dry. He had thought himself incapable of ever caring again after she had died. During their marriage, Glorfindel had made it a point to not expect anything of Elrond and Elrond had appreciated it. Now he remembered how Glorfindel had acted when Celebrìan had died.

"Elrond, do you want some company?" It was Glorfindel. He was tired of seeing the sunken expression on Elrond's face. He was tired of seeing that Elrond never ate and clearly did not sleep. "You look like you could use a friend." He knew that Elrond and Celebrìan had never had much of a marriage, but Elrond had still lost a bonded mate. The pull to the Hall of Waiting had been strong.

"You don't have to, Glorfindel."

"Remember what we had, Elrond, and you will see that I want nothing more than to help you, to be with you." When Elrond had been bonded, Glorfindel had originally intended to leave. Over time, he had grown to care about Elrond as more than just a conquest, but he didn't feel that he needed to be around when Elrond was clearly unavailable. "I still love you." He knew he was treading on dangerous ground with that statement, but he felt that Elrond had to know it.

"I am not capable of loving anymore. Celebrìan took that from me."

"I know you feel like this is hopeless…"

"It would be so much easier just to go with her." Fresh tears escaped Elrond's eyes and he brushed them away, not wanting Glorfindel to see him cry.

But Glorfindel did not mind. "You have your children. She lives on through them. Everyone here cares about you, Elrond. Everyone."

"So why did she have to leave?"

"Come on, Elrond. Let's go lie down."

Elrond had meekly followed Glorfindel. From then on, Glorfindel had always been by his side. It was five years before Elrond was ready to have Glorfindel as a lover, but Glorfindel had always been patient and had never pushed for anything more.

And now he had been robbed of Glorfindel as well. The door burst open and Elladan stepped in. Elrond immediately saw the amount of blood splattered over Elladan's clothes and immediately surveyed his son for any injuries. But he didn't appear to be hurt. "What is amiss, Elladan?"

"It is Erestor! He was cut down in battle."

No, no, no. You can't take them both from me. Not when I've just found out that Erestor is alive. Mandos, how can you demand both from me? "Is he dead?"

"Not yet. Not quite. And Haldir was wounded as well. They both tried to save me."

Damn you, Erestor, for being so noble. "I want to see him."

It was only now that Elladan noticed Glorfindel's form. It seemed to have lost its glow. That could explain the tears on his father's face which had gone unnoticed until now. "Oh no, is Glorfindel…"

"Yes. Mandos took him."

"Come on, father. Let's go see Erestor, then."

A sudden thought struck Elrond and he hated himself for it. The fact that Glorfindel was dead meant that he was no longer bonded. But Elrond was just waiting for the inevitable pull that Glorfindel would begin to exert on Elrond. Maybe Erestor would be there for him this time. If he was not too involved with Elladan, that was. Elrond chided himself for that. If Erestor was more interested in Elladan, then Elrond knew he had no place to interfere.

"Damn you, Mandos."


Author's Note: Review?