Title: Elven Hearts Part 22
Notes: The next few chapters are going to be really confusing. They are even to me. But it will come together in the end…I swear!
Trapped. That was the best way to describe it. Only he didn't know how he was trapped or by whom. He just was.
The sky above him was the purest blue. The land around him was vibrantly green. The smell of flowers and life mingled with the acrid smells of blood and death in an odd combination. He could feel the soft grass under him.
He had no idea where he was.
He had no idea who he was.
Attempting to sit up, he found that none of the muscles of his body were responding. He tried again. Still, there was no response from any part of his body.
There was no pain. So he couldn't have been wounded so badly. He closed his eyes. Perhaps things would come back to him if he gave himself enough time. He began to think about what he knew about himself.
And he found his mind blank. It was as if he had never existed up until right now. Only that didn't make sense. He had the kind of knowledge that an educated adult would have. There was no personal anything though, no sense of self. He was just a storage of information without a name or a personality. The rational part of him knew that that was not even remotely possible. Still that was how things looked right now.
He heard the sound of metal on leather of a sword being drawn and his eyes opened. A beautiful face was above him; dark hair, chocolate eyes. Only there was no smile on that face. A sword point rested on his chest. "Who are you and what is your business in Imladris?" demanded the being. It was an elf, he realized.
He wondered if he still had the ability to talk. Licking his lips, he said, "I…I do not know."
The elf did not look impressed. In a harsher voice, he demanded, "Who are you and what is your business?"
"I do not know."
The elf closed his eyes for a second and muttered something under his breath. Then he opened his eyes and crouched down beside him. "Okay. We'll start this really simple. How did you get here?"
He shook his head. "I have no idea."
Erestor crouched beside the man. He had to admit that the man did look dazed and confused. There was a spark of intelligence behind the hazel eyes, though. There were no visible wounds on his body, no real reason for him to be sprawled out across the garden. It worried Erestor a little. "I am Erestor. You are in Imladris. Do you know where that is?"
The man nodded. "I have heard of it…I think."
This man was obviously wounded, perhaps mentally. There was nothing that Erestor could do for him. Perhaps Elrond could do something. "Can you stand?"
"No."
Erestor nodded. That was just what he had expected. Sliding his arms under the man's body, he lifted him up easily. The man was light as a feather. The long golden hair fell down past Erestor's arm. It seemed that the man did not even have the strength to hold his head up, so Erestor supported it with his elbow. "What is the last thing you remember?" he asked as he walked inside. Anything he could find out would be worth it.
"Waking up here."
That was so typical. Erestor sighed as he walked into the healing ward. He was met there by a healer he did not know. "Who is this?" demanded the elf.
"I do not know. But he is wounded…somehow. Is Elrond here?"
"No."
"Of course not. Can this man have a bed somewhere while I go to look for Elrond?"
The elf looked reluctant, but Erestor's position did have its perks now and again. Erestor was glad that this appeared to be one of them. The healer quickly did what he was told after a few delicate threats had been made.
Erestor then headed out. He had to find Elrond. Elrond was the only one that could possibly help this man.
Legolas was determined to see Elrohir. He had to find out certain things; namely, whether Elrohir had truly turned to Belegtur's side or if he was just putting on an extraordinarily good act. The only problem was that the guards outside Elrohir's room wouldn't let him in. Still, he was not going to give up. There had to be some way that he could see Elrohir and talk him out of this madness that had obviously consumed him.
It took covert investigation and a lot of planning, but he finally discovered that the room directly beneath Elrohir's was empty at night. So that night, he found his way to the room, opened the window, and climbed out. The walls were quite difficult to climb, but he was an elf; that made things easier. Finally, he was at Elrohir's window. He raised his hand to rap on the windowpane but then the window opened and someone hauled him in. It was Elrohir.
Elrohir looked only slightly amused. "What are you doing in Imladris, Legolas? More specifically, why are you trying to get into my room in the middle of the night?" He crossed his arms and assumed a very Elrond-ish expression that Legolas couldn't help but smile at.
"I thought that you needed some sense knocked into you." Legolas turned and closed the window. "But keep your voice down. The guards out there will hear you and then both of us will be in trouble."
"I care little if you get into trouble, Legolas."
Legolas sat down on Elrohir's un-slept-in bed. "Why are you doing this, Elrohir? Why are you throwing your life away…for that piece of scum? He doesn't care about you, you know that. Look what he did to your hand. He's using you, Elrohir. Why did you try to kill your father?"
"He deserved to die."
"Of many that can truly be said, but your father is not one of them." Legolas stood up briefly in order to grab Elrohir's wrist. He pulled the younger elf into a sitting position on the bed. "Has that foul creature Belegtur truly poisoned your mind so much?"
"No…now I see. Now I see what is wrong with this life. Legolas, you can't possibly understand…you haven't been through what I've been through…but there is a better way…"
"How can any way led by kinslayers and criminals be a better way?" demanded Legolas critically.
Elrohir shook his head and snorted condescendingly, "You will never understand, Prince Legolas. But you helped me once, so I will not think badly of you. You can still be saved."
"Saved? I do not need to be saved, Elrohir! 'Tis you that needs saving!"
"There you are mistaken. I tire of this conversation. You believe that my way of thinking is wrong, but truly…it is just a different way. You and your kind do not like change. But change is coming, whether you are ready for it or not." Elrohir pulled his hand free of Legolas's grip and stood. "Now…leave me."
"I just want to help you."
"'Tis you that needs help, mellon." Elrohir opened the window.
"Do me one favor, at least."
Elrohir sighed and rolled his eyes. "Name it and I will see what I can do."
"Ask your father for mercy, he will grant it. Do not get yourself imprisoned…you would not survive it." Legolas smiled conspiratorially. "Besides, if you truly wish to change things…how will you manage that from inside a jail cell? Is it not better to fake remorse and get on with new plans than to have all hope dashed in the blink of an eye?" Legolas did not really mean a word of what he said, but that wasn't the point. He just wanted to prevent Elrohir from being jailed.
"I will not beg."
"I never asked you to. Your father doesn't want to punish you. Repent…or pretend to…and he will let you off lightly. Those are my words of advice to you…that, and drop this foolish act." Legolas disappeared out the window, thoroughly sick at heart.
Elrond turned as the door opened and Erestor walked in. A frown passed onto his face as he saw the concern on the other's features. He rose to his feet. "Is something wrong, mellon-nin?"
"I am…troubled and confused."
"By what?"
"I found a Man in the gardens. He has no idea who he is, how he got here, or what he is supposed to do now that is here. I fear that something is deeply wrong with him. You are renowned for your healing powers. There must be something that you can do about it."
"That accounts for part of it. But I don't think that it alone would trouble you so." Elrond knew his Chief Advisor well. Erestor was not overly sentimental about anything, never had been, probably never would be.
"No, you're right. I have had dealings with Men before. You know my opinion on them." In general, Erestor did not have an altogether very high opinion of Men. He found them coarse and irrational. "This Man was different in a way that I cannot name. He…there is a spark deep within him that is wholly not Man-like. It…scares me."
Elrond folded his arms around the slightly shorter elf. "My dearest Erestor…"
"Your only Erestor," he reminded softly.
Elrond smiled. "There is no need for you ever to fear anything. I am here to protect you." He pulled Erestor's head up and kissed him lightly. It felt so good to be able to do that whenever he wanted. It was so good to know that Erestor loved him.
"I can protect myself, thank you very much." Erestor pulled out of the embrace. "Now, you have to go deal with this wretched Man, and I must consequently do all of the work that you should be doing. So be gone with you and let me get something done." He didn't like this sudden stream of attention that Elrond was focusing so intently on him. He didn't deserve it. He was so unused to it. It hadn't been since Glorfindel had courted him that he had felt this way. That had been a long time ago.
"You're here…again." Erestor looked up from the scroll as he heard the footsteps and addressed Glorfindel.
"Why would I be anywhere else when you are here?" asked Glorfindel, seating himself opposite of Erestor.
"I have work to do…and I am sure that there are warrior-esque things that you should be doing." Erestor smiled. It wasn't that he didn't like this. It was just such an unusual sensation, to have a shadow such as this.
"I would much rather spend time with you. Do you work all day and all night? You are always in the library! I have talked to those who know you and they agree with me. It is not good, Erestor, to live like this."
"Don't think that you can change my ways, Glorfindel. I am quite content with my life the way it is."
"Like hell you are."
"Excuse me?"
Glorfindel leaned across the table and kissed Erestor lightly. "I expect a visit from you tonight, mellon."
Erestor shook his head to clear the memory away. He saw Elrond grinning at him. "What?" he demanded.
"I love to watch you daydream."
"I," said Erestor haughtily, "do not daydream."
Elrond laughed. "Of course you don't." He stole one last kiss from Erestor before going to deal with the Man he now had lying in his healing ward that really did have to be dealt with.
He was so confused. The elf, Erestor, had left him. Now he was somewhere else. He wished he knew where. There were soft whispers of voices in the air, but in a language that he had no knowledge of. Another face appeared above him. At first, he thought that Erestor had returned, but this elf had a more regal bearing. This elf, he instinctively knew, held power. "I am Lord Elrond," said the elf. "Who are you?"
"I do not know," he said. He wished that he could give a better answer, but truly there was none to give.
Elrond sighed. It was as Erestor said, then. And, like Erestor, he could detect something that was just somehow not right about the Man. "Do you remember nothing, then?"
"I remember waking up here."
Elrond sighed. It looked like he was going to have to go into this Man's mind and dig for the answers. He hated doing that, especially with mortals. Their minds were so cluttered. In general, he found this invasive, but with mortals, it was just plain annoying. He laid his hands on the Man's temples. "Try to relax and clear your mind." Elrond closed his own eyes as the mental link was formed. Then he let himself fall carefully into the Man's mind, not wanting to disrupt anything; his role was entirely an onlooker.
He was stunned by what he found.
All the usual humdrum knowledge of the way things were was there, as Elrond would have expected. The only problem was that it was all there was. There was no identity, no sense of self. Just blankness.
Elrond didn't understand. No matter how severe the damage, no matter how bad the injury, some fragment of Self always remained. Inadvertently, he severed the mind link and stepped back. Shaking his head slightly in the manner of one not used to being confused and puzzled at what to do when confusion set in, he mumbled under his breath, "What are you?"
"What?" asked the Man, not having heard Elrond's words.
"Nothing," said Elrond hastily. He was at a loss for what to do, really. How could he help this Man when there really was nothing to salvage? This Man was just a repository for information. This Man was not truly a being. There was nothing there. Nothing. "I have to consult some sources to decide upon the best course of action. Please remain here until I return." Elrond all but fled the room. He didn't know what to do and that scared him.
Now he knew what Erestor meant.
Elrohir knew that he had to take Legolas' advice. He would help no one if his father threw him into prison. It was best to fake remorse. So, shortly before noon, he opened his door and told his guards that he would like to speak with Lord Elrond. Though the disdain clearly showed in their voices, they agreed to find Lord Elrond. Elrohir retreated back inside and sat on the bed, waiting for his father.
His father did not keep him waiting long. Only a few minutes after he had told the guards, the door opened and Elrond walked in. "Hello, Elrohir. Do you have something you wish to say to me?"
"The actions I took were unforgivable, ada. I don't know…I don't know why I did it. Some evil stirred my heart. I did not mean to try to kill you."
"Does this have anything to do with Belegtur?"
Ah. So my father has found out. I suppose that that was inevitable. "I want nothing to do with him." He summoned up some tears. "Do you know what he did to me, father? I will never be the same…and I will never be free of him! You must forgive me, ada; I know not what goes on in my mind any longer."
Elrond felt a deep sadness for his son. He was wise enough, though, to not entirely trust Elrohir's words. "You have my forgiveness, Elrohir. I understand what it is to be influenced so strongly by someone that you lose control of what you want. I promise you that we will find Belegtur and kill him…"
"No, father, you know that we are bonded. If you kill him, you kill me as well."
Elrond shook his head. "No. There you are slightly wrong. True, you would normally slip into the Halls of Waiting if your bonded was stronger than you are…but, if the moment is selected carefully, another can bond with you as your old bond is severed and bring you back."
"That sounds impossibly complicated, father. And who, pray tell, would bond with me?"
"That is why we will not kill Belegtur just yet." Elrond smiled. "Though I may be a fool to trust you so soon after you tried to kill me, I will give you free run of the house. Do not attempt to leave, though, or I will imprison you. I want to keep you safe, Elrohir. I can only do that if you help me."
"I will do my best, ada."
Elladan was stalking the halls when he literally ran into an unfamiliar elf. Stumbling back, he frowned and demanded, "Who are you?" The elf was dressed as a commoner, certainly not the way any elf that spent much time here would dress. He studied the elf; he was tall, a little skinny for his height, with handsome, sculpted features and longish brown hair. He smiled and softened his tone, then repeated himself. Perhaps today would not be quite so boring. After all, one did not run across unknown beauties in their own home everyday.
"I am called Herulom," the elf said.
Elladan saw that this common elf dared meet his eye. "What are you doing here?"
Belegtur wanted to snarl at the younger elf. But he restrained himself. He would help no one, not Elrohir, and certainly not himself, by exploding at this youngster. So he forced a smile onto his face and said, "I desired an audience with Lord Elrond, Master Elladan."
Elladan wondered how the elf knew it was him, and then realized that he had had a fifty-fifty chance of getting it right. "I see. Have you met my father yet? For if you haven't, I'm sure that I could help you get your audience."
Belegtur liked Elladan. He was much bolder than his twin. He wondered if Elrohir would mind if he slept with Elladan. Deciding that Elrohir would be furious with him, he resolved that he would do so. "No, I haven't. It seems that he is most busy as of late. Matters as trivial as mine are of little importance to him." All of this was true, of course. He smiled. "Would you truly help me to see your father? What would I have to do in return?"
Elladan stepped closer, so that the two were almost touching. His hand ran lightly down the taller elf's chest, stopping just short of the groin. "I'm sure that I can think of something," he said in a seductive whisper. "Why don't you come back to my rooms with me and we'll see what I can work out." He licked his lips.
Belegtur grinned; his day had certainly gotten much better. If he couldn't have his bonded, then why not his bonded's twin? "If that is what you desire, I would be happy to please you."
"Good," said Elladan. "Now, follow me." He turned and led Herulom back to his rooms. Today was most definitely a good day. At least the elf seemed as eager about this as he was.
As soon as the door closed, Belegtur slammed Elladan against the wall. Elladan fought, but then again, Belegtur had expected him to. It would have been a severe disappointment had he not. Elladan mumbled some words of protest, but Belegtur was frankly not in the mood. He pushed Elladan's leggings down, freeing his erection. He was not in any way surprised when Elladan began to try to remove his clothes. But Belegtur stopped him. "Not yet, Elladan." Pulling Elladan's shirt unresistingly off, he ran his hands across Elladan's chest, noting that it was much more muscled than Elrohir's. Elladan was much more evidently a warrior.
Elladan now began to try to take control. He caught one of Herulom's hands and shoved it down to his throbbing erection. Herulom did not seem to want that, though, and only smiled. "Not yet, Elladan," he repeated. He kissed Elladan's cheek, then made his way down Elladan's jaw to his collarbone. Elladan tried to actually get a proper kiss from the elf, but once again, the elf did not seem to want that. It was most frustrating.
Belegtur was sincerely enjoying himself. Frustrating Elladan was proving to be great sport; but now the time had come for him to take what he wanted. He pulled off his own leggings and took Elladan hard. Elladan moaned and fell into his arms.
Then came the knock on the door.
Elladan wanted to ignore it. But he was old enough to know that if he didn't answer it, then one of two things would happen. Either the knocker would continue to do so, or would come in. Neither was advisable right now. Then again, ending this was severely inadvisable. "Go away," he said.
"Why?" asked a voice.
Elladan groaned. It was Erestor. Normally, he would be delighted by Erestor's unexpected arrival at his door, but now was the worst time imaginable. "Please…go away." Herulom was taking no mercy and was not stopping at all in order to let Elladan carry on a conversation.
"Are you…occupied?"
"If I say yes, will you go away?"
"Who is that?" demanded Belegtur.
Elladan glared at the elf. "None of your business. Could you just hurry up and finish?" Now that Erestor was here, he was tired of this elf. He would take Erestor over Herulom any day of the week.
Belegtur pulled out of Elladan, leaving both of them unsatisfied. He pulled his leggings up and headed for the door without another word.
Erestor entered as the other left and smiled when he saw Elladan. "I…ah…I suppose I should apologize for interrupting you." He walked over, licking his lips.
"I have a better idea. How about you deal with it?"
Erestor smiled and shook his head. "I'm sorry, but I don't have time right now. Your father sent me to get you. There is work that he needs you to help him with." He grinned, knowing that there was no way that Elladan was in any condition to work.
"I'm not going anywhere right now." He stepped forward, grabbed Erestor's wrist, and pushed him against the wall.
Erestor was stronger. He pulled free. In a quiet voice, almost haunted in nature, he said, "No, I cannot. I cannot do this any longer." Turning away from Elladan, he walked back towards the door. "I can play these games no longer."
