Chapter 24
He smiled when he saw Imladris on the horizon. It was so good to know that his journey was over. He had been wandering most of his life, drifting from place to place. He had no family, no one to care about him. Then he had heard about Imladris. It sounded like heaven to him. He had nearly died getting here, but now he was recovered and ready to start his life. He was about medium-height, with coal-black eyes, a slender frame from years of malnutrition, and shoulder-length chestnut hair. None who looked upon him would call him beautiful, but he grew on people. People would find their gazes drawn to him again and again, and in their minds, his beauty grew. His name was Esgaldur.
Imladris looked especially beautiful with the backdrop of a sunrise. He spurred his horse on and arrived at the stables. Immediately, an elf took his horse and another led him inside. "Who are you and what is your business?" asked the elf.
"My name is Esgaldur, and I would like to work for Lord Elrond."
"What are your skills?"
"I am both a warrior and a scholar and will serve as either. Whichever suits Lord Elrond's needs best." He was led to a room and told to wait. He waited quite a long time. It was understandable, he supposed, as he had arrived very early. One could not expect many to be up at such an unforgiving hour.
Eventually, though someone walked in. "I am Lord Elrond. If you would wish to work for me, then there is plenty that can be done. I have been told that you are both warrior and scholar. Do you have a preference? You see, I need both."
"I would prefer a warrior's duties, my lord."
"Very well. I will assign you a captain. He will find you a place in the barracks. Do not let me hear bad things of you, Esgaldur."
"No, my lord. I will be sure that you do not."
Elladan saw Erestor early that morning. He remembered what his father had told him yesterday and so didn't initially talk to him. Erestor looked at him but there was no sign of recognition in his eyes. That hurt Elladan, a little. But he was reassured by the fact that something had severely messed Erestor up and that his father was working his hardest to reverse it.
There was no harm, though, in pretending that they had just met. So he walked over to Erestor. "Greetings. I am Elladan."
"Erestor," said Erestor.
"I do not think I have seen you around here before," said Elladan, hoping to find some safe ground for conversation.
"I work mostly in the library. There would be no reason for you to meet me."
Elladan found this Erestor instantly endearing. Not the cocky elf that he had been, but a much subdued version. "Are you assuming that I never enter a library?" he asked jokingly.
Erestor looked him up and down. "You look like a warrior."
Elladan laughed. He could really get to like this Erestor.
Elrond sat down at his desk. Celeborn stood by the door. "I have to get things in order," said Elrond. Having had a good night's rest had done wonders for his sanity. How long that grip would remain now exposed to the light of day was yet to be seen. Elrond felt slightly guilty for imposing this burden upon Celeborn, who was doing some grieving of his own, but Celeborn did not seem to mind. "I can't let everything go to ruin over a couple of little incidents."
Celeborn wouldn't consider any of what happened recently 'little incidents', but who was he to quibble over that? Imladris needed an Elrond that was in control, and if this was what it took, then so be it. "I am here to help you, Elrond. Tell me what you need done, and I will see it happen."
"First, I need someone to keep an eye on Elrohir. I'm still suspicious of his intentions. I don't want him to leave here. He has a bonded mate, Belegtur, the leader of the rebel movement. I don't know how deeply Belegtur has poisoned his mind."
"I can do that."
"I also need someone to keep an occasional eye on the Man…Tingil, did you call him? Very well, I might as well, too. I need someone to keep an occasional eye on Tingil, just to make sure he doesn't hurt himself. I don't know what he'll do."
"I can do that, too."
"Erestor was supposed to look over these reports from Lorien…uh…you wanted an answer back soon. I'm not sure that I want you to read these. Hmm…I'll get Elladan to do it later." He looked around his desk.
"Do you want me to take Erestor's position until such time as he is ready to have it back?"
Elrond nodded gratefully. "I know it's a lot to ask of you, Celeborn…"
"I am Lord of Lorien, Elrond. I am used to working some."
"How long can you stay?"
"I'm sure Galadriel has things under control. I can stay here as long as you need me to." Celeborn frowned. "Erestor's one of those people that takes so much work on himself that no one else could manage to do it, right?"
"Yes."
"And he routinely spends all night working?"
"Quite routinely."
"Yes, he is just like me, then. I think I will adapt quickly. Though I wouldn't mind help, in the form of your sons or anyone else you can free up for the task. Eventually, you'll probably want to give Erestor some of it."
"Yes." Elrond shook his head. "Do you think that I should talk to Erestor today…or should I let it wait a little longer?"
"You intimidate him. Find some other way to make him comfortable with his surroundings before you try to win him over again. Otherwise you'll lose him forever." Celeborn hated to tell Elrond not to seek out the elf he loved, but he knew that Elrond would rather wait a little and then get Erestor rather than never having him again. "Find him some friends."
"Can he not find his own friends?"
"I don't know. However, if you engineer his friends, then I am sure that you can find some way to talk to him more often."
Elrond smiled at Celeborn's scheme. Sometimes the older elf really did surprise Elrond. "Very well…I will do as you say." Elrond bowed his head. "I have one more favor to ask of you."
"Name it."
"I don't wish to impose on you…but I do not like to be alone at night."
"Of course I will spend my nights with you, if that is what you wish." Celeborn knew that there was nothing sexual in either of their intentions. Celeborn was busy getting over Haldir and Elrond was busy trying to win over Erestor.
"I don't know what I'd do without you, Celeborn."
"You'd survive. You are the kind of elf that cannot be beaten down, no matter what you are faced with. That is why I admire you so much."
Elrond smiled at the compliment. "As much as I would like to continue this conversation, I think that both of us need to get some work done."
"Agreed. I shall see you later then, Elrond."
Elrond watched Celeborn leave. It was good to know that he had a friend that was willing to put aside all of his problems in order to deal with Elrond's.
It was the kind of thing that Erestor did.
"Good morning, Tingil."
He sat up, stretched, then shook his head. "No, Lord Elrond. I am not Tingil."
A smile managed to make its way onto Elrond's face. It felt so strange to be there, considering Elrond's mood, but he couldn't help it. Maybe everything wasn't so hopeless. "Very well. Who are you?" Then again, he told himself, this could just be a fit of madness.
"I don't know. But I know that I am not Tingil."
"Okay. Will you let me into your mind again?" He tried to calm himself. He could adversely affect this Man if he was carrying any emotion too strongly. When he received a nod from the Man, he allowed himself in. It was still quite devoid of Self, but not as much as before. It was as though the Man was developing an identity. Elrond had never heard of such a thing before, but this whole situation was unheard of. When he retreated, he asked, "What do you remember, exactly?" He did not view memories of mortals. It was just a personal issue. Elves were another matter entirely.
"I remember…blood. Lots of blood. And screaming. It was all elves…elves and orcs…there was so much death…and there was nothing I could do about it…they're all dying…I can't help them…I see their dull eyes…their bodies fall and fall and fall…there's so much pain…oh please….stop…"
Elrond shook the Man. The Man shuddered, as if breaking out of a trance. In a hushed voice, he said, "I don't think that I want to have any more memories."
Legolas was helping Celeborn some. It was funny, he decided. He was Mirkwood's heir and Celeborn was Lorien's ruler, yet here they were, putting themselves under Elrond's control. What was funnier was that neither of them minded. "How did Erestor ever manage to get any work done?" demanded Legolas.
Celeborn smiled. It had taken them a while to clean this place up, but once that was done, they had found more work than an army could do. Yet Celeborn had no doubts that Erestor was nearly done most of it. Or had been, before whatever had happened to him. Still, they had been working for hours and had not even yet made a noticeable dent on the pile. "Come," he said, rising to his feet and stretching. "It will do us good to get some fresh air. Let us spar. It will help relieve this tension."
Legolas grinned. "I'll cream you, Celeborn."
Laughing, the two elves made their way outside to the practice yard, which was already filled with elves. A space was cleared for them. Their match did not last long. It only took a couple of minutes before Celeborn had Legolas up against a wall with his sword point against Legolas's throat. "You were saying something," he said, stepping back.
Legolas shook his head and looked around. Most of the elves here were familiar. They had all been here for so long. Then he saw one that he did not recognize. Pulling aside one of the elves, he pointed out the unfamiliar one and asked, "Who is that?"
"He is new; he arrived only this morning, he calls himself Esgaldur."
Legolas watched Esgaldur fight; the elf was skilled with a sword, probably more so than even him. He called Celeborn over and pointed Esgaldur out. "Bet you can't beat him."
"Bet me what?"
"You win, I'll work this afternoon and you can take it off; I win, you're working alone."
"Deal." Celeborn walked over and talked to Esgaldur. They began to spar. Legolas watched with great interest, as did every other elf that was in the yard. Though it did look like Celeborn would win, Esgaldur was giving him a good workout. Celeborn was clearly the more skilled fighter, but Esgaldur had many inventive attacks that kept Celeborn alert. Legolas began to regret making that bet.
Celeborn got Esgaldur down onto his knees, but with a cunning stroke, Esgaldur nearly disarmed Celeborn and scrambled back to his feet. With one more decisive blow, the sword flew from Celeborn's hand to a spot nearly ten feet away. Celeborn began to back towards it, but Esgaldur tripped him.
Legolas grinned to himself as Celeborn retrieved the sword and walked back over. Celeborn shook his head and punched Legolas, then walked off.
Elrohir really, really wanted to go see Belegtur. He knew, though, that his father had someone watching him and that his father would find out if he left. This was a dilemma to him. Either he had to figure out who his minder was and get rid of them, or forget about visiting Belegtur. He had no intentions of not going to see Belegtur, which left only one option.
There was only one person in Imladris that might be willing to help him. So he went to see his brother. "Elladan, you have to help me."
Elladan smiled at his twin. "You know I love you, I'll do whatever I can." He ruffled his twin's hair affectionately, his smile broadening when Elrohir squirmed out of his grasp.
"I need to get out of here, but father has forbidden me to do so."
"Why do you want to leave?" asked Elladan critically. He would help his twin, but not if it would in any way endanger his father or Imladris. "And why would that be a problem for you? It's not as if neither of us have snuck out of here before without ada noticing."
"Because I'm sure that ada has someone watching me to make sure that I stay here. He seems that way. And I need to figure out who this person is and figure out how to ensure that they don't rat me out to ada."
"Ada will pick someone loyal, Elrohir. You know that. I can only help so much there…"
"No, tell ada that you want to get out of here awhile. He'll understand. Then ask to take me as well. I won't be any trouble to you…please, Elladan. I need to get out of here."
"You never told me why."
"There's someone I have to see." Elrohir dropped to his knees. "I'm begging you, Elladan. Please help me out."
Elladan bowed his head. "Fine. I can't promise that ada will agree to it, but I will give it a try."
Elrohir nearly knocked him over with the force of the hug which he bestowed upon his twin. "I will never forget this and I will love you forever." He dashed out of the room.
Elladan smiled bemusedly. He adored his twin beyond words, but Elrohir had changed somehow. It had to be Elrohir's mate. And Elladan was nearly certain that that was who Elrohir claimed that he needed to see. Elladan was deeply troubled. Part of him truly did want to help his brother, but he didn't want to see Elrohir change into something unrecognizable, either. To save his brother from that, Elladan knew that this mate of his, Belegtur, had to die, sooner or later. This wasn't right. It was usually him getting into the worst of messes, and Elrohir having to get him out of them. It seemed that Elrohir was finally getting back at him.
In the worst way possible.
Elrond didn't see Celeborn the rest of the day until the night, when Celeborn let himself into Elrond's room. Though Celeborn initially thought that Elrond was asleep, Elrond said, "Come here," and so Celeborn walked over to join Elrond in bed.
Wrapping an arm around Elrond's slender figure, traitorous thoughts first began to enter his mind. Elrond was a beauty, that was undeniable, and was a prize by any and every standard that Celeborn could think of. What was more, he was even more precious to Celeborn when he was as he was now, namely, scared and helpless, vulnerable. He stopped this train of thoughts before they got out of hand. "Good-night, Elrond," he whispered into the delicate ear, grinning to himself at the fact that it made Elrond shudder a little.
"Stop it," murmured Elrond, clearly half-asleep. "You'll make me think that you're trying to seduce me."
"Never, mellon. Anyway, I had an idea today."
"I'm trying to sleep," said Elrond, but his voice was more alert than before. He turned so that he was facing Celeborn. "Okay, you're not going to leave me alone until I hear you out, so what is it?"
"I sparred today with an elf that has just arrived in Imladris…by the name of Esgaldur, I believe. He is quite talented with a sword, by the way."
"That's wonderful, but why did you have to tell me that right now?"
Celeborn pulled a mock-upset face. "I thought that he would make a good companion for Erestor. Everyone else here would have previous expectations of him. But Esgaldur truly has never met him and so they can actually start off fresh."
"'Tis a good idea. I will talk to this Esgaldur tomorrow. Now, I want to sleep." He threw an arm around Celeborn and snuggled up to him.
Once Celeborn was certain that Elrond was sleeping, he pressed a gentle kiss onto Elrond's raven hair and murmured, "I will keep you safe, mellon, whatever it takes."
Esgaldur was partially surprised and completely afraid when he woke and found that he had been summoned to see Lord Elrond. Dressing quickly, he asked an elf to direct him to Lord Elrond's study, which he entered with considerable trepidation.
Elrond smiled at the other's nervousness. "I heard from Lord Celeborn that you are quite good with a sword."
"I do what I can, my lord."
"I have a favor to ask of you, Esgaldur. There is an elf here that has had…an accident, and parts of his memory have not returned. Everyone else here knows him as he was and expect things from him that he cannot currently do. You, on the other hand, have never met him and so…I would like you to try to be friendly with him. He could use a friend."
"Perchance I do know this elf. Who is he?"
"His name is Erestor."
Esgaldur grinned. "I have heard of him, but I have never met him. Yes, I would be glad to befriend him."
"Do not expect much from him…he has changed much. I will arrange a meeting for the two of you…before, he was quite skilled with a sword as well. I know not if he still has those skills, but that is something, at least."
Esgaldur nodded again. "As I said, I will do what I can to help you, my lord. If you arrange a meeting for us, I will gladly attend it and make Erestor my friend."
"Thank you. You will be in my debt. I will have someone contact you when the meeting is arranged."
Esgaldur smiled, nodded, and walked out of the room. Almost immediately, someone knocked on Elrond's door. "Come in," he called.
Elladan walked in, a dismal expression on his face. "I have a problem, father."
"Sit down, Elladan. I have not seen you so upset in quite a while. Does this have anything to do with Erestor?"
"No…but I saw him earlier…I think I could like him as he is now…he joked with me that the reason I claimed to have never seen him was that I was a warrior and he was always in the library, implying that I never entered one."
"You do only rarely, Elladan," reminded Elrond.
"Whatever. Still, I can get used to him. That is not what is pressing so heavily on my mind."
"Please, tell me. There must be something I can do to help." His son really did look genuinely distressed.
"It's Elrohir. He told me last night…well, practically begged me…to help him…and I didn't know what to say…and I told him I'd talk to you…so that's why I'm here…but I don't know what to do…"
Elrond was barely following this inane babble. "What exactly, does Elrohir want your help with?" He knew he had to put his eldest son into a more rational mood. These questions had obviously been going around in Elladan's head for too long.
"He wants to leave here…he won't tell me why…and he says that you have someone watching him…I think he's going crazy, ada."
"Well, I do have someone keeping an eye on him…and no, Elladan, I won't tell you who it is. And you say that you have no idea why he wants to leave?"
"Well, I suspect it's because of his mate…Belegtur, but I don't know that for sure."
"I can't let him leave, Elladan."
Elladan nodded. "I know, ada, but he's my twin, and I can tell that he's hurting. His mind is conflicted and I want to be able to do something about it. I hate to see him like this. It's just as if it were me having to make these choices in my life."
"Choices?" asked Elrond curiously.
"Yes. Whether to stay here and live his life out as he always has…or to give it all up in his hope that something better will occur with our destruction."
Then came the daily visit with Tingil (though he no longer answered to that). Frankly, Elrond, now burdened with many other problems, was finding the Man quite annoying. As he had done yesterday, he went into the Man's mind, and found evidence that more of his Self was returning. Retreating again, he asked, "What do you remember now?"
The Man paused, thinking, apparently trying to put what he remembered into coherent speech, unlike yesterday's outburst. "I remember…I think I remember my home. It's…there are so many trees…it's so beautiful…it's musical, almost, though that isn't the right word for it. That's one memory. Then there's another that sticks out in my mind. It's an elf. He's blonde…beautiful…I think his name…his name is Gl…"
"Glorfindel?" demanded Elrond.
"Yes," said the Man. "His name is Glorfindel. I hate him…I don't know why…he wronged me…somehow…caused me pain…somehow…I fear that that memory is not complete."
"So you have had dealings with elves in the past, then?"
"I suppose I must have…I'm sorry to be such a burden to you, Lord Elrond. I do not have to stay here if you do not wish for me to do so."
"No, you are more than welcome to stay here. I would be a poor host if I denied you even that. You are safe here, and you need somewhere safe to…recuperate. Perhaps soon you will even learn your true name. But you are free to stay however long you wish, even after you recover. Imladris has long been known for that."
"I thank you then, Lord Elrond."
"I do what I can."
Erestor looked at the elf sitting in the bench who was looking at him inquisitively. He turned away. So far, he had managed to reason that something had happened to him that had erased some of his memory. Now everyone was expecting all kinds of things from him and it was driving him mad. No doubt this elf was another one.
The elf rose. "I do not believe we have met…"
Erestor had heard that enough times already. Everyone tried to pretend that they didn't know him, but he could tell that they did. "Please just leave me."
"Is something wrong? Maybe I can help. But you'll have to tell me who you are, first."
Erestor turned to face the elf, hurt radiating from his eyes. "You truly do not know who I am?"
"Truly, I have no idea. I am Esgaldur, I arrived only yesterday. So, who are you?"
"I am Erestor."
"Very well, Erestor. What weighs down on your mind so heavily? There must be something that I can do, however small it may be, to alleviate the pain." Esgaldur touched Erestor's shoulder lightly, and was surprised to see Erestor recoil at the touch.
"Please…do not touch me," stammered Erestor. He shook his head. "I apologize for my behavior. I…do not know what has happened to me…I have such a gaping gap in my memory. I fear that I am slow to trust anymore…you see, I detest falsity from any…and those who I assume once knew now pretend that they do not so as not to place a burden on my memory. I cannot stand it."
"Well, I confess that I have never met you nor have I heard of you. Is that what you need to hear? Come, let us walk."
The two set off. "So, where are you from?" asked Erestor, trying to make conversation. He had never been very good at that.
"I have wandered from place to place my entire life. I am hoping to find somewhere to settle down…I would ask you if this is the kind of place where one such as I could be happy…but you have no memory of it." He paused, waiting to see how the other would take this comment.
Erestor laughed. "Yes, you are right. I have no judgment on the matter. What are you doing now that you are here?"
"I am a warrior…do you know how to wield a sword?"
"No. I fear I have no knowledge of swordplay…no, that is not entirely true. I have much knowledge, but 'tis only book knowledge, and I doubt that the two are the same thing." Erestor bit his lip. "Maybe you could teach me what you know, though? It would be good to have a friend here."
"I will teach you, if that is what you would like." Esgaldur was extremely attracted to Erestor, and not only because of his physical beauty. "I could use a friend, too."
"Then let us support each other in our time of need. I am sure that both of us will end up needing each other in the end." Erestor reached out and lightly rested his hand on Esgaldur's shoulder.
I find myself hoping that your memory does not return. For when it does, you will surely abandon me in favor of those who you have known all your life. "It would be my pleasure."
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