Chapter 26
This chapter and the one before it have not been beta-read and therefore all mistakes are mine.
"Celeborn, don't act like a child. Don't stoop to Elrond's level," said Legolas, watching Celeborn shove things into bags with unnecessary force. Legolas could see the anger on Celeborn's face and wasn't sure what to say (and what not to say) to calm down a very powerful elf.
"Elrond told me he wanted me to go, so go I will. Just because I was trying to help, but never mind that. I do not have to stay here."
"Now you're not even making sense. Come with me, we will go to talk to Elrond. We will make him see sense."
"He is right, you know. He is the Lord of Imladris. We are not. Why should we be ruling in his stead?"
"Because he's not capable right now. Now, come on." Legolas grabbed Celeborn's upper arm and half-dragged him from the room. After a while, Celeborn became more cooperative, which pleased Legolas a good deal, as Celeborn was a rather large dead weight to pull along behind him.
They found Elrond sitting in his chair, staring blankly at the wall, a too-fixed smile on his face. Legolas instinctively visually searched the room for alcohol. It looked like Elrond was drunk. But he saw no alcohol. Elrond did not even make any attempt to look at the two of them, nor did he really respond when either said anything to him.
Celeborn groaned and walked over to Elrond. Elrond did not react when Celeborn lay a hand upon his forehead. It was as if Elrond wasn't even really alert.
"What's wrong?" asked Legolas in a hushed voice.
Celeborn frowned and thought for a second before making his diagnosis. "Nervous breakdown." He grimaced. "I wonder what finally sent him over the edge."
Legolas was surprised at Celeborn's calm tone. "So what are we supposed to do about it?"
Celeborn thought some more. "Well, we can't let many people know about it, that's for sure. Elrond is famous for being unbreakable. To know that he finally broke would destroy his reputation for millennia. Imladris has many talented healers, and I am something of a healer myself. We will pull Elrond through this."
"I take it that this means you're staying."
"I don't think I have a choice anymore."
"Erestor, could you come quickly," said Esgaldur, grabbing the other's arm. "Elladan told me to fetch you. It sounded urgent."
A panicked expression appeared on Erestor's face. "What is wrong?"
"I do not know. But please hurry."
Erestor put down the book he had been reading and followed Esgaldur out of his room. He was led to a part of Imladris that he had not visited since his accident. It was the guest quarters. Esgaldur opened a door, stuck his head in, and announced, "He's here." Esgaldur then turned to Erestor. "I will see you later, mellon-nin."
"You are not staying?" asked Erestor, a frightened look appearing on his face.
"No. Don't be afraid, Erestor. Everyone in there knew you before and they all hold you in the highest respect." Esgaldur shoved Erestor into the room and closed the door before the frightened elf could retreat.
Erestor looked around the room and his eyes grew big. There were three very important elves in here; Prince Legolas, Lord Celeborn, and Master Elladan. Licking his lips, Erestor said, "Why have I been called here?" He feared that it was something to do with Elrond, but he didn't know what.
It was Legolas that spoke. "Elrond has had an…accident. He can no longer deal with his responsibilities. We need your help, as much as you are able to give us."
"I am confused…I am no more than a scribe."
Celeborn laughed harshly. "No, Erestor, you are Lord Elrond's Chief Advisor, a fearsome warrior and a cunning, skilled diplomat. You have respect in every Elven realm. Elrond did not want you to be told this, for he believed that it would be easier for you to recover your memories on your own. Only that's not an option anymore. There are some things that you're going to have to remember. We need someone like you to help us."
"So…the three of you are going to run Imladris?"
"The four of us," said Elladan. "If you are willing to help us. And we would sincerely like your help, Erestor. We will give you as much help as you like."
Erestor couldn't see that there was any way he could say no. So he grimaced and said, "It doesn't appear that I really have a choice. So, tell me what I must do and I will do my best to see the task completed."
Celeborn hated the formality laced in Erestor's tone. Erestor did not consider himself an equal in this room, and that was something that Celeborn missed. Erestor had a very commanding personality when he wanted to, but right now he was subservient. That was not an Erestor that Celeborn was used to. "We'll set you up back in your old office. Legolas and I will stay with you the rest of the day to make sure you've got your feet, and then we'll leave you be."
All three smiled to see the spark kindle in Erestor's eye at the challenge. And Erestor had always loved challenges. He grinned cockily, the way all three were used to, and said, "It will be my pleasure."
Elrohir knew that something was wrong. It annoyed him that no one was willing to take the time to tell him. Elladan appeared to be right in the thick of it. He was Elladan's twin, he had every bit the same right as Elladan to know. So when he next saw Celeborn, he stopped him in the hall. Celeborn looked harassed and tired. "What do you want, Elrohir?" he asked tiredly.
"What's going on? I know that something's wrong…why won't you just tell me what it is?"
"Maybe later," said Celeborn distractedly. Elladan was enough of a menace already, but at least one of Elrond's sons had to be brought into this, or it would seem like other realms were taking control of Imladris. But Celeborn really had no desire to deal with both twins right now.
"No. Right now," said Elrohir firmly. "Elladan knows, and I can't stand not to. Just because I didn't fight with you…"
"No," snapped Celeborn, allowing his mood to get the better of him. "You turned to the enemy. You are bonded to the resistance leader. Why should I tell you a word, when I fear that it is going directly to the enemy?" Celeborn knew that Elrond hadn't believed that Elrohir was firmly in the enemy's camp, but Elrond was, at times, hopelessly naïve. Celeborn knew better.
Elrohir turned from Celeborn. Heading off down the hall, he turned back only to hiss, "You will pay for all of this."
Celeborn shook his head. It was terrible to see one as good as Elrohir turn to such evil as he clearly had. But he didn't have the time to dwell upon that. There was too much, far too much, that needed to be done. First, he went to visit Elrond, who had been taken to his rooms. He had not descended into babbling idiocy, which Celeborn didn't think that he would have been able to take.
Elrond just stared blankly ahead of him. He ate when forced to, but made no voluntary movements of any kind. But Celeborn made some attempt at normalcy and talked to Elrond as though he was fully alert and aware. "Erestor is back at work today. I know not how well he will do without the experience and judgment of millennia, but Legolas and I will be there to help him. He is terribly worried about you, Elrond. I believe that he still cares for you, and if those feelings are not of love, it is only because he does not really know what love is." Celeborn glanced at Elrond, who showed no sign of hearing Celeborn at all. Biting back a sigh of frustration, Celeborn continued. "Elladan is doing admirably. He is so very much like you, Elrond. We are all worried about you." Celeborn walked over to Elrond and laid a hand on Elrond's shoulder. He might as well have been not touching him, it made no impression whatsoever on Elrond.
Celeborn walked out of the room a few minutes later. With Elrond like this, it was far too much for him to take, and he didn't want to have to try to deal with it. The next thing on his mental to-do list was to visit Tingil, who no longer responded to that name. Celeborn could not even do as much as Elrond could, for his skill for entering others' minds was dodgy at best. So after checking to make sure that the Man was alive and reasonably well, he headed off for what he really wanted to do. And that was to see Erestor. He had to know how Erestor was doing.
He opened the door and found Erestor hunched over the desk, frowning in concentration, his left hand drumming idly on his knee and his right playing idly with a quill. In front of him was a stack of parchments. He did not look up as Celeborn entered, but Legolas did. Quietly, not wanting to disturb Erestor, he walked over to Legolas. In a low voice, he asked, "How is he doing?"
Legolas made a so-so gesture with his hand. "I've seen worse. He has…he has all the characteristics needed to do the job, but he lacks the experience of millennia. In other words, every problem to him seems new. With the old Erestor, he would have recognized the problem as something that had occurred centuries ago and would know how to deal with it. Everything's going to take a little later. Erestor's looking through correspondence with Lorien."
"I could help him…"
Legolas grinned. "No, you don't. I refuse to allow you to take advantage of Elrond's incapacities and Erestor's inexperience." The grin broadened and he added, "Unless you allow me to do the same for Mirkwood."
Celeborn smiled briefly. "No, we will not plunder Imladris. We both owe Imladris and Elrond too much to do that." He glanced up at Erestor. Like this, it was easy to pretend that nothing was wrong and that Erestor was the same elf that Celeborn had always known. An odd smile crossed his face as he remembered that that wasn't entirely true. He had once before met Erestor like this, millennia ago, when Erestor was but an Elfling.
Celeborn smiled at the delegation of scholars. Many of them were old, familiar faces, but there were, here and there, a sprinkling of youthful exuberance that made Celeborn giddy. He sent them all of to their rooms along with their possessions. The meetings would begin tomorrow. The issue at hand was the fact that some documents had been damaged in a recent fire and Celeborn needed many scholars to try and piece as much back together as possible.
Celeborn frowned as he saw one of the last elves to leave. Quite tall but very slender and with flowing dark hair, the elf could not possibly have reached his majority yet. He walked up to the elf. As he drew closer, the Elfling in question turned his head to look up at Celeborn. For a few seconds, Celeborn was lost in those deep brown eyes. Then he shook himself. It was all well and good that he had the occasional fling with a male, but this elf was still a child. "Have you reached your majority yet?"
The elf smiled and licked his lips. "Last week, my lord. That is why I was permitted to accompany these other elves."
Celeborn already hated the formality in this elf's voice, even though he knew that it was right and proper. "What is your name?"
"Erestor, my lord." Erestor smiled shyly.
It was the most endearing look Celeborn had ever seen. Something about the elf looked so fragile and helpless that Celeborn wanted to sweep the elf into his arms.
Suddenly, another elf walked in. They had been the only two in the room, so the other's presence was immediately felt. Celeborn turned to look at the intruder. It was a blond warrior. He looked vaguely familiar. After a bit of thought, Celeborn was fairly sure that it was Glorfindel, son of the Lord of Gondolin. But what was he doing here with a delegation of scholars? "Mae govannen, Glorfindel," he said.
Glorfindel smiled and walked over to Celeborn, clasping hands briefly with him. Then he turned to Erestor. "Are you ready to go, meleth?"
"Aye." Erestor looked at Celeborn. "If I have your permission to go, my lord?"
"You need no permission of mine," said Celeborn. It hurt, though, in a way he could not quite define, to see the two go off hand in hand. Erestor seemed so pure and innocent, and if even half of the stories about Glorfindel were to be believed, then no such claim could be made upon Glorfindel.
Erestor proved to be easily the most useful of the scholars, though he did not talk much. He got the work done and let others take credit for it. He did not speak to Celeborn again for many centuries. But their first meeting had left an inerasable impression on Celeborn.
"How goes your work, Erestor?" asked Celeborn.
Erestor looked up at him and flashed that same shy smile. Celeborn's heart melted. "You say that I have done this before, but I have no memory of it. Still…with time, I feel that I will be able to get this done. I will get this done, no matter the cost."
"I will not allow you to work yourself into exhaustion," said Celeborn firmly. And he meant it. The last thing he needed was to have two broken elves as opposed to one completely broken one and one half-broken. "You will work only until the evening meal," he commanded. "And then you will seek out Esgaldur and spend some time with him. He will help you to get your mind off of things."
Nervously, Erestor asked, "Would I be permitted to see Lord Elrond?"
"I'm not sure that's a good idea right now, Erestor. Perhaps once he has improved a little. Until then, just stay with Esgaldur. He is a good elf." Celeborn had no idea upon what he based that. He, along with the rest of Imladris, barely knew the elf. But he, also along with those who led Imladris, trusted him almost unconditionally already. The danger in Erestor spending too much time with Esgaldur was, obviously, that they would be attracted to each other and that Esgaldur would attempt to seduce Erestor.
Erestor nodded. "Very well, my lord." And he went back to reading.
Celeborn exchanged a look with Legolas. Even though it was not the old Erestor, this one was coming closer and closer with every passing day.
Belegtur managed to sneak back in. He hadn't seen Elrohir in days and it was driving him crazy. Once inside, it took him very little time to find Elrohir's rooms. Evading the guards that were posted outside took a little more work, but reasonably soon, he was walking into Elrohir's bedroom, marveling at its elegance. Elrohir lay in the center of the bed, fast asleep. Belegtur took a moment to admire Elrohir's sleeping form, then sat down on the bed beside him and shook him slightly.
Elrohir mumbled something unintelligible. Yawning, he opened his eyes, and a smile curled onto his face when he saw Belegtur. In a smooth, easy motion, he pulled Belegtur on top of him, kissing him fiercely.
Belegtur pinned Elrohir's hands above his head. "I like your room, El. So very much like I picture it would be." With his other hand, he caressed the younger elf's chest, making him shiver and moan in need. "I want to fuck you in here." He released Elrohir's hands and began kissing Elrohir's neck, his hands working to free them from their clothes.
"Belegtur, we'll get caught…we can't…"
Belegtur paused long enough to look up at Elrohir and say, "What happens, happens," before resuming his previous activities. He finally pulled off Elrohir's leggings and teasingly rubbed Elrohir's erection before sitting up and undressing. Elrohir proved more than willing to help. Then he fell back on top of Elrohir, spreading his legs and entering Elrohir roughly without any preparation.
Elrohir choked back a scream at the nauseating pain. Slowly, the pain dimmed to be replaced by pleasure of a kind he had never experienced before. Belegtur was the only lover he had ever had who made him feel so complete. Belegtur collapsed down on Elrohir, covering his shoulder and neck with light kisses. Elrohir traced idle patterns across Belegtur's back, glad that they had fucked again. It was such a release. For a few precious minutes, everything that was bad in his life disappeared. None of it seemed to matter anymore, and that made these times he spent with Belegtur so special. "I wish that you could stay here," he murmured.
Belegtur rolled off of Elrohir and looked him in the eye. "I'd hate it here and you know it." Placing one hand on the back of Elrohir's neck, he drew the elf in closer for another kiss. The kiss lasted as long as it could, before both needed air. Belegtur rolled Elrohir on top of him, gently kissing and caressing him. "But it was nice to do it once here."
Elrohir curled up on top of Belegtur, sleepy and satiated. He was just beginning to drop off when he heard the door opening. He sat up in horror and looked at Belegtur. Belegtur smiled lazily at him, pushed Elrohir off of him, reached down to his clothes, and pulled out a small dagger. Not bothering to dress, he rolled off the bed and walked quietly to the bedroom door. As soon as the figure walked in, Belegtur pounced, driving the dagger into the elf's back, burying it all the way to the hilt. The elf fought for a few seconds and then sank silently to the ground. Belegtur pulled the dagger out and wiped it on the elf's shirt. A pool of blood began to form under the elf's body.
Elrohir rose from the bed and walked over to Belegtur. When he recognized the dying elf at his feet, he gasped. "It's Celeborn!"
More footsteps were coming. Belegtur bit his lip, looked down at Celeborn, then at Elrohir. Walking back over to the bed, he threw his clothes on. Then he went to the window, opened it, and was gone just as the guards entered the room. Elrohir closed his eyes. He knew how pointless it would be to plead innocence.
Several of the elves gathered Celeborn in their arms and hurried out. The rest took Elrohir out of his room and into one of the cells that Elrond kept for prisoners awaiting sentencing.
Elrohir sat silently in the cold cell. He didn't know if Belegtur would make any attempt to get him out, though he would love for Belegtur to show him that kind of love. Somehow, though, he doubted that he would be seeing Belegtur anytime soon. Part of him regretted that, but another part of him began to question all he had done and thought over the past few weeks. He saw how Belegtur had used his fear to manipulate him and how easily he had given in to everything that Belegtur had said. He saw how Belegtur had taken what he had most feared and constantly put it there in his face to send him fleeing into Belegtur's arms. Elrohir began to hate Belegtur.
But Belegtur is my bonded mate. I cannot just decide that I no longer wish to be with him. Even though the bond was against my will, I cannot break it. I wish now that I could. But I believe him when he said that if he dies, he will drag me with him. Ada confirmed it. So what do I now?
Elrohir paced the cell for a while, but then gave up, as it got him nowhere. So he sat curled up in a corner, waiting for someone to come see him. He really didn't care at this point who it was. All he desired was someone to whom he could confess all of this to, someone who would at least listen to him.
In the loneliness of his own mind, Elrohir feared that he would go insane.
Elladan burst into the room, wide-eyed. "By the gods, Legolas, come quickly! There's been a terrible…I don't know what to call it…please just come…"
Legolas raised an eyebrow at the elf's ramblings. "Calm down, Elladan, and tell me what's wrong." His glance darted over to Erestor, who was watching them carefully. "Is this something that Erestor need know about it?"
Elladan considered that. Finally, he figured that Erestor, if he was going to be given any power at all, at least had to be kept up to date. "Yes…my idiot brother…I don't know why…he stabbed Celeborn…he's dying…"
"Do the healers have him?" demanded Legolas, rising to his feet.
Elladan nodded. "Yes, they are doing all they can." Elladan didn't like to think what would happen if Celeborn died. As the acting ruler of Imladris, it would fall to him to inform Lorien. He was not looking forward to that confrontation. He could already imagine Galadriel's expression. "Damn Elrohir, why can't he just get his head straight. Celeborn is our grandfather!"
"Let us go visit with him, then," said Legolas. "Perhaps there is something we can do."
"No," said Erestor softly. The other two looked at him as though he were mad. Smiling softly to assuage his own fears about confronting these two, he continued. "If the healers are doing all they can, there is little that we will be able to offer. Indeed, we will more than likely just get in their way. Let them do their work, and afterwards, we can visit with him. I do not believe that any of us wish to put Lord Celeborn in any more danger than he is already in."
Elladan frowned. Erestor was right, but he didn't want to admit it. Sharing a look with Legolas, it was clear that Legolas felt the same way. "Very well," he conceded. "We will see him later." Forcing himself to calm down a little, he asked, "Has anyone checked in on my father recently?" Elladan wasn't sure how much he was willing to trust his father now, what with his altered mental state.
"No," said Legolas. "Let's go to see him now." As Erestor began to rise, Legolas added, "Erestor, you stay here."
Erestor frowned. "I am no child, Legolas. You cannot order me around." He swallowed hard; had he crossed lines he should not have crossed with those words?
"Perhaps not," said Elladan. "But I can. And I'm telling you to stay here, Erestor. Now come on, Legolas."
Erestor sat down, but it was clear to both Legolas and Elladan that he was immensely displeased. Once the other two had left the room, Erestor also got up and left. Though he knew that he didn't stand a chance of getting in to see Elrond while they were there, he could be waiting for them to leave and then sneak in.
He wasn't quite sure why he so desperately wanted to see Elrond. To be completely honest, Elrond terrified him. But there was a sense he had of a deeper connection between the two of them, though he couldn't have named it if his life depended on him. It had something to do with the way that Elrond had addressed him in the library, as he was nothing short of Elrond's lover. Erestor had been trying to dredge up memories from before that day in library, but couldn't. He wondered what terrible accident had befallen him, but there was no one to ask now who knew.
"What are you doing, Erestor, sneaking around like that?" asked a playful voice from behind him.
Erestor grinned as he turned to face Esgaldur. "I am hardly sneaking. I am merely taking a break and walking around."
Esgaldur looked highly unconvinced. "I heard a commotion earlier. Has something else befallen Imladris?"
Erestor's face took on a tight, closed expression. "I…I'm not so sure…I don't think that I should tell you." He immediately saw the look of hurt on Esgaldur's face and wished that he could do something about it. But there were some things that Esgaldur simply did not need to know, and Erestor felt that this was one of them.
"Oh, so you're so high and mighty now?" asked Esgaldur, for a brief moment losing control of his temper. "Do you know what you are, Erestor? Hmm?"
Erestor frowned, then brightened a little. "I am Lord Elrond's Chief Advisor," he answered confidently.
Esgaldur sneered. "Do you know what else you are?"
Now Erestor was confused. And a little frightened. Esgaldur seemed so menacing right now and Erestor just wanted to walk away. But he forced himself not to and so asked, "No, what else am I?"
"The easiest fuck in Imladris." Smiling hatefully at the expression on Erestor's face, Esgaldur walked away from the stunned elf.
Author's Note: Would you all be glad to hear that I've finally planned out the rest of this? There are going to be 10 more chapters. Aren't you proud of me?
