Many thanks to my one reviewer: Padmé Evenstar. THANK YOU, PADME!!!!! (even though you know I'm pleased, as we've chatted... heh...) THIS UPDATE IS FOR YOU, PADAWAN FORCA!!! (cheerful) Anyway, on with the update...

Chapter Three: In Which Jandalf and Shadow talk about the past

Previously, there was a cliffie. That cliffie left the heroes arguing. As I am a nice narrator, I shall take off at that very scene then. At present, Shadow has came out with an anti-grav sled because Obi-Wan and Jandalf somehow ended up tied together. Jandalf was complaining about having to go see Palpy, of course, as well as Obi-Wan.

And you really shouldn't blame them anyhow.

As Shadow was attempting to fit the sled through the door, as she didn't want to untie our two heroes, she commented dryly, "You aren't going to be zapped, all right?!"

Jandalf was still looking at her with that look. You know... the look that implies you know something more. "You sure?"

"Positive." Shadow sighed.

"I mean, reaaaaaaaaaallly sure?"

Shadow sighed. The Sith was tempted to say 'No, he's actually going to feed you to a sarlacc', but held her tongue. If there was one positive thing she had taken from turning Dark, she had at least learned when to be silent. "Can't you trust me here?" she asked at last. Then she sighed. "Well, I guess not, eh?"

Obi-Wan snrked. "I don't think I need to answer that."

"But STILL... just because I'm a traitor, and all, doesn't mean you can't trust me here." She inwardly groaned, realizing how stupid that sounded, and how many weaknesses she was revealing with this speech.

Jandalf rolled her eyes ridiculously.

Shadow somehow managed to get the sled into the cell. "All right, c'mon. Really, you are not going to be harmed." Somehow, though, she thought her words were not as believable as they could've been.

Jandalf scoffed. "I'll believe it once it's over." Somehow, she and Obi-Wan managed to stand, all the while continuing to cling to each other, and got onto the sled that Shadow had procured somehow.

Shadow sighed heavily. "I swear you guys are the reason I turned Dark."

"It was ultimately your own decision," Jandalf replied.

"Actually..." Shadow raised one hand, and then lowered it. She groaned. "When I finish with this, you will understand why I turned, I am sure of it." Her tone reflected hidden motives, and had an air to it beyond what was expected for a Sith who seemed bent on galactic domination. But I didn't say she was...

"...Well then." Obi-Wan couldn't exactly think of anything to say.

Shadow shrugged. "It probably had to do with the fact that your versions in this world died."

"What?" Jandalf looked at her oddly, maybe at that moment she had taken grasp of a hidden meaning behind Shadow's comment. "This world?"

It was true, of course-- they were in another version of the world in the future, as would become clearer later. But the Sith was not about to explain this yet, nor was Jandalf following her hidden implications well enough.

"Do explain," Obi-Wan requested, looking for the answers to her hidden motives.

"Here, you and Obi-Wan are dead." Shadow spoke to Jandalf, rather than Obi-Wan, which in itself was a strange thing. Why? Who knows. Something to do with a dark past, likely. Or something.

Jandalf sighed. "We knew that."

"Elaborate." Obi-Wan looked at her with a distinct expression. Shadow shoved the anti-grav sled into a nearby room-- not exactly a well to do room, but more of a simple location. She motioned to the bed that sat under the window. "Sit down, okay?!"

"WE ARE DOWN!!" Jandalf shouted back.

Shadow groaned. "On the BED!!!!" She pointed to the bed exaggeratedly.

Obi-Wan and Jandalf looked at each other. "On the bed? Oh. Right." They somehow managed to maneuver onto the bed, while still clinging to each other.

Shadow shrugged, and pieced through her thoughts to get an explanation that wasn't exactly a lie-- so there would be a path-- but yet would not tell everything. There were things happening that could not be known about. "Okay, we went and kidnapped you because of something that happened in your time. Somewhere along the plot flow, something happened..." Shadow neglected to mention exactly what had happened, through she full well knew what was going on. "Anyhow, it changed the plot."

"Uh... really?" Jandalf looked very confused and even skeptical. "Weird."

"We need you guys here in order to destroy this rogue plot-- the future is falling to pieces!"

Obi-Wan paused slightly. "So, you're imprisoning us in the hope we'll actually turn about and help you?"

That wasn't exactly the case-- Shadow didn't bother expanding on that. She had the feeling that when they learned exactly what was going on, they would probably kill her. Or not... she knew that there was still an understanding that existed.

"You have one strange definition of hospitality, I'll give you that." Jandalf rolled her eyes.

Shadow sighed. "Look, something went wrong somewhere on your world. We didn't have any hope of survival!"

"You know, this would've worked better if you'd have asked us nicely."

Sighing, Shadow chose her words quite carefully. There was a strange tone to her voice. "Look, being as I'm your dark side Padawan, there was no choice but to kidnap you."

"Uh-huh." Sarcasm and skepticism was plain in Jandalf's voice. "So was I dark here?"

Shadow thought for a moment, decided not to mention the clones just yet. "Ummm... no."

"Oh good. What about Obi?" Relief was obvious in Jandalf's voice now.

"You and Obi-Wan were the only real Jedi left near the end of the war."

"Ooh." Obi-Wan had an interesting look in his eyes.

"Talk about tenacity," Jandalf commented.

Shadow continued with the straight out truth. "On a mission to protect Anakin's kids, you guys were caught up with by the Empire."

"No joke."

Jandalf muttered. "Curse my clumsiness."

Shadow sighed, rather dramatically. "And then, of course, you two had to protect the four kids." Although, if you hadn't, the plot would've fallen to pieces...

"I mean, my other self's clumsiness," Jandalf amended.

"The four?" Obi-Wan was suddenly confused. They had seen Star Wars-- knew Luke and Leia were twins.

Shadow continued babbling meaninglessly. "It wasn't funny... I was kinda half turned by that point... and... uh... yeah. Four."

"Four what?" Jandalf was confused as well.

"Padmé and Anakin had quadruplets," Shadow filled in. "Luke, Leia, and two others..."

"What others?" There was an edgy tone to Obi-Wan voice, and he was obviously probing for information now.

"Two girls... they were sent Back." The tone Shadow used implied a capital letter, and something more than what the word should've meant.

Jandalf's face took on a rather white tone, and yet she looked red, and like she was going to throw up at the same time. "Oh great."

"What were their names...? No, wait. Let me guess." Obi-Wan had a sudden suspicion cast over his tone.

"No, no, say it." Jandalf still looked rather pale.

"Anyhow... ummmm... yeah." Shadow looked paler than normal as well. "Yeah, guess."

Jandalf fainted.

"NOT AGAIN!!!!" Obi-Wan grabbed her, and pulled her back up onto the bed. "These family ties are becoming real issues around here, would you believe."

Shadow sighed. "She hasn't changed. Though I do suppose this Jandalf hasn't suffered as much as my Jandalf."

"I MISS YOU, MOMMY!!!!" Jandalf shouted.

Shadow began coughing, as if to hide her shock at something.

"Oh, really?" asked Obi-Wan. "You would presume such?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" screamed Jandalf.

"But I thought Vader already said he was your father," Obi-Wan said.

"She knows... he wasn't kidding," Shadow pointed out.

"I didn't think so." The full realization of this sentence hit Jandalf. "AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

Shadow attempted to be nice at first, finally gave up, and slapped Jandalf. "GIVE IT UP, JEDI!!!!"

"NEVER!!! THEN WHY AM I SO OLD??????? Relatively speaking." Jandalf glared at Shadow quite darkly, considering.

"Anyhow, as I said, they sent the kids BACK!"

"Erk."

"Anyhow, now you get that part." Shadow was tempted to slap Jandalf again, but neglected to do so, as she was tired of getting yelled at.

Obi-Wan swallowed. "And so...?"

"All shall fall to ruin..." wailed Jandalf in the background.

Obi-Wan shook her lightly. "Jandalf, we get the picture."

"Right. Sorry."

Shadow sighed. Obviously they were looking for more. She hated touching on this part of her vague memories... they hit her too hard, because they were real. She knew it too well. "At that time I wasn't evil-- just gray, one would say. During that time though, I turned Dark... due to Anakin, of course." She stopped, feeling the weight of her words. Anakin... no, he's Vader. He never was the Anakin Tiana knew... What was that the crept into her thoughts... envy, maybe?

"So you and Anakin..." prompted Obi-Wan.

"So Anakin and I confronted you and Jandalf..." she grimaced, actually. "...thereby killing you... sorta."

"Gray." Jandalf snorted. "That ALL, you say? Huh?"

Shadow made a face. "We only knocked you guys out. PALPY killed you."

"Palpatine killed me?" asked Obi-Wan. His expression was unreadable.

"And me?"

Shadow snickered. "Yeah... well, you kinda damaged him a lot first, Obi-Wan..."

Obi-Wan snickered. "Heh heh..."

"And I don't think he killed you guys," Shadow continued. "He only tossed you out of an airlock... ummmm... yeah, never mind, he killed you."

Jandalf shuddered.

"That would qualify as murder most foul," Obi-Wan put in.

"However, Anakin was injured as well, just to keep with the Plot." There was another hidden emphasis on this word... an expression there that meant more than it seemed.

"Thus we have Vader," Jandalf murmured, not catching on.

"Sadly, not thrown in a volcano." Shadow snickered. She finished there, leaving them to draw their own conclusions... as would everyone.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Interesting plot. Did you think of this all by yourself."

Shadow looked at him, realizing that he had picked up on some of her... avoidances. "Jandalf zapped Anakin good." She snickered more. "And yeah, I did." She glared at Obi-Wan. "And it's factual as well."

Jandalf snickered. "I zapped the Chosen Brat," she commented under her breath, seemingly almost pleased at that.

"I got zapped too." Shadow took that statement as a fine moment to glare at Jandalf. Both of them had been zapped-- earlier that day, a long time ago, Shadow had been zapped with Force-lightning by a darksider, and then Jandalf had used some transmitters in a distant hope of escape. Shadow shuddered with that memory-- she actually remembered it clearly, for that had been when she completely turned away from light. Although it wasn't actually HER that turned... ah, never mind...

"Well. I suppose I must applaud your creativity, no matter how sadistic." Obi-Wan had a sarcastic tone to his voice, but Shadow chose to ignore that.

Jandalf snickered some more.

"Thank you," Shadow said, tugging at her sleeves nervously-- the long sleeves hiding marks from that battle. "And it's not FUNNY!"

Obi-Wan snickered as well, and Shadow sighed. "You guys didn't change. So, anyhow, we have to fix the plot, and all that... so... yeah."

"I'm a constant in this ever-changing universe," Jandalf sang out.

"As am I," Obi-Wan added.

"I know." Shadow moaned softly, envisioning exactly how this was going to end up going. "Well, there you have it... a short version of the history of this world."

"Never to see the setting of the sun..." Jandalf paused a moment. "Unless, of course, I'm shoved into hard vac."

"Well, thank you for filling us in." There was a trace of something in Obi-Wan tone, but Shadow couldn't catch it.

"Now, how about filling us UP? Lunch?" asked Jandalf.

"Oh... yeah... sure..." Shadow didn't bother commenting that she would've attempted to save them from their fate, had she not been unconscious at the time-- being zapped more than once in a day really is not exactly good for you. She reached through a random appearing window, and pulled out a full lunch. "Good?"

"I see talents are mirrored," Jandalf commented.

"Okay, that was just bad." Obi-Wan gave her a look.

"Sorry."

Shadow shrugged as she set the food on a random appearing table. "Well, technically we're merely the future of your world." It was true too, had Tiana not altered the plot. Why did that fool have to be born Force-sensitive?

"...???????????" Jandalf was very confused, if her lack of comment didn't say that already.

Obi-Wan fainted.

"So... uhhh... we'll be what'll happen if... ummmm... er... Obi-Wan?"

Jandalf shook her head. "Obi! Food!"

Obi-Wan woke up. "Food??"

"Good to see that still works," Shadow said dryly.

"Yes. Now roll in the lunch."

"Excuse me?" Shadow pulled a face. "I pulled it from the window, it doesn't roll."

"Meh. Technicalities." Obi-Wan sat down and began to eat, as did Jandalf.

Shadow rolled her eyes. "Yeah... FOOD!!! Garlic?" She rolled her eyes. "No comment."

"NO GARLIC, THANK YOU!!!!" Jandalf proceeded to scream this.

"Grrr..." Obi-Wan growled.

Shadow sighed. "You're the same as I remembered... this might not've been such a good idea after all."

"You're not the only one to express such sentiment," Jandalf replied.

"Really?"

Obi-Wan ignored this, and reached for something on the table. "Is that roast nerf?"

"Yeah... 'tis." Shadow sighed. At least she could pull out decent meals, if nothing else.

"Ooh!" Jandalf took a slice.

"Yum."

"What do you mean by that statement?"

Obi-Wan and Jandalf continued to eat. Shadow took a roll, and twirled it about, not exactly thinking about eating. "What do you mean, statement?" asked Jandalf.

"You said I wasn't the only one to express such feelings," Shadow replied, setting the roll down, and taking a drink.

"Ah. I meant myself and Obi here. And I have to agree with him."

Shadow was slightly confused. "You mean you think I'm still like Tiana?"

"No, of course not. You're obviously different."

Shadow sighed, and took some pizza.

"Pizza? Ooh!"

"I'll take a slice," Jandalf filled in. "As long as it's not Hawaiian, that is."

Shadow shuddered. "It's not. Pepperoni."

Both Obi-Wan and Jandalf took pieces. "You know, Shadow, why don't you set us free and come with us?" asked Obi-Wan around his piece of pizza.

"Mmmm... spicy," Jandalf said, enjoying her pizza.

"No offense," Obi-Wan added, "but you don't make much of a Sith."

"You haven't seen me," Shadow replied, dryly.

"Well, I've seen some of you."

"You're not like I thought you were at first."

Shadow sighed, and munched on her pizza, avoiding his eyes. It was true, she was no Sith-- but she wasn't a Jedi either. They would see it, she knew it though.

Jandalf finished up her slice, and took another one. "Face it, Padawan, you want to go back."

Shadow glared. "I am not your Padawan."

"Well, once a Padawan, always a Padawan," Jandalf finished. She ate her pizza.

"Sure... you were never a Padawan then." Shadow snorted.

"Of course I was. I've never stopped being a Padawan to my master. Just because he's dead..." She continued to eat, being very Jandalf-like.

"He left the Jedi Order," Shadow corrected. She was still put off that they didn't see her as she was-- not a Sith, but not Tiana either.

"So?"

"He's still alive... he turned Sith, you know."

"I'll always have that history... HE WHAT??? AGH..."

Shadow was slightly red by this point, because she was breathing hard, not because she was embarrassed. This was turning out to be harder than she had anticipated.

"STUPID MASTER!!!! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!!!" Jandalf screamed.

Obi-Wan cringed, and Shadow coughed. "Are you trying to sound like Gollum...?"

"NO!!!!" Jandalf yelled.

"Well you certainly did," Shadow pointed out.

"Well, I wasn't trying to. So there."

"Well you did. And I'll have you know that it's VERY ANNOYING!"

"Suck it up."

Obi-Wan snickered.

"Bite me!" Shadow shouted. "NO!!!! DON'T!!!!"

"Ohhh, you don't want to say that."

Obi-Wan snickered yet more, and Shadow sighed. "Yeah... this could take some getting used to."

Obi-Wan took a grape. "Are you done storytime yet?"

"Yeah... are you done lunch?"

Jandalf grabbed another piece of pizza. "Almost."

Shadow took a pop. "Okay. Hey, where'd these come from?" She sighed.

Obi-Wan looked at the pop. "Uhh... I don't know." He grabbed a root beer.

Jandalf grabbed a Vanilla coke. "VANILLA COKE!!!! MY FAVORITE!!!!!"

Shadow snagged her Sprite. "Mmmmmmmm.... Anyhow, I have to take you to see the Emperor now."

Obi-Wan groaned. "I guess..."

Jandalf started to cry.

"Look, you'll be fine... sigh... WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, JEDI FOOL??!!!!"

Obi-Wan patted Jandalf on the back, who was crying for a different reason than getting pop up her nose. "There, there... we'll be all right. Even if we're vacced again."

Jandalf bawled.

"I don't think I should've said that," Obi-Wan commented.

Shadow slapped Jandalf. "STOP THAT!!"

"HEY!" Jandalf stopped crying, and slapped her back.

"Oh... so you want to play like THAT..." Shadow slapped her back.

"Will you cut that out?" Obi-Wan glared at Shadow.

"No. I'm Sith, I don't have to listen to you anymore."

Obi-Wan glared again. "Fine!" He slapped Shadow. Jandalf slapped her as well.

"HEY!!!" Shadow slapped them both. It turned into a slap-fest, with Shadow receiving most of the slaps. "Grrrr..." She zapped them both, annoyed.

"OW!!!" screamed Jandalf.

Obi-Wan fainted, as he was zapped in the head.

"Oops," Shadow snickered nervously.

Jandalf began cursing quite un-PG-like in Huttese. Shadow struggled to control herself as Jandalf switched to Rodian, having ran out of Huttese curses.

"Ohhhhh... ow." Obi-Wan sat up, dazed.

"Oh, sithspit... SHUT UP!" Shadow hit Jandalf again.

"NO!" Jandalf began cursing in Duros. Shadow held up the duct tape. "All right, all right!" She clung to Obi-Wan.

"Thank you. Now c'mon."

Obi-Wan was quite dazed, but somehow Jandalf managed to haul him onto the anti-grav sled. Shadow sighed, and Jandalf did as well. "WILL YOU QUIT THAT??" Jandalf burst out.

"WHAT?"

"SIGHING!"

"NO!"

"YES!!!!"

"NO!!!!!"

"YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"FINE! NOW STOP YELLING AT ME!!!!!!"

"FINE!!!!!"

Shadow sighed, and lowered her tone to reply, "Why are you insisting on arguing?"

"Because it's my specialty." Jandalf glared at her, quite annoyed still.

"I've noticed," Shadow remarked dryly.

"Oh, good."

"Oh, I was suppose to?" Shadow had obvious sarcasm in her voice.

"Dang skippy."

"Huh?"

Obi-Wan rubbed his head. "Wow. I need an Advil."

Shadow made a face, muttered sorry, and pulled an Advil out of the window, as well as a glass of water, and handed it to Obi-Wan.

"Thank you." He took the pill, and drained the water.

"You're welcome."

They left the room, Shadow guiding the grav-sled, and Jandalf leading the sing-along. Oh, c'mon, you didn't think Jandalf could go anywhere without singing, did you? Even though Obi-Wan was still quite annoyed by it... snicker.


A/N: If anyone is reading this besides Padmé, please review so that I'll have someone else to dedicate each chapter to as well... so far all the updates are for Padmé Evenstar! WE LOVE YOU, PADME EVENSTAR!!!!!! (coughPADAWANcough) (snicker) Reviews are appreciated...