Chapter Four: In which we have a revelation, and Tiana sees how much she can write before Jandalf comes back online so they can finish the scene they're on. Okay, in which SHADOW has a revelation, and well... whoa, what a long chapter title! I'm bored... meh. That's what you risk when TIANA narrates most of the story...
This chapter is one of my favorites... teehee...
In the previous chapter, we left off with Jandalf singing as they walked down the not-so-yellow-or-brick-for-that-matter-either-hallway. But, as you, the reader, should've read the last chapter, and you know that, so... ummm... I'll just shut up now.
"On the road again... we're on the road again..." Jandalf sang happily.
She ignored Obi-Wan insistent shouting of: "NO MORE SINGING!!!!!"
Shadow proceeded to ignore him as well, and began to sing too. "The road goes ever on and on..."
Obi-Wan lamented, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SHE REALLY HASN'T CHANGED!!!"
"...Down from the road where it began..." she continued.
Jandalf let her finish that song, and then switched to another familiar tune (at least if you've watched LotR). "HOME IS BEHIND, THE WORLD AHEAD!"
"AND THERE ARE MANY PATHS TO TREAD!!" Shadow continued.
Obi-Wan sighed. "Oh well." He threw up his hands in surrender. "THROUGH SHADOW!!!"
"TO THE EDGE OF NIGHT!!!" Jandalf continued.
"UNTIL THE STARS ARE ALL ALIGHT!!!!!" Obi-Wan went on.
"MIST AND SHADOW, CLOUD AND SHADE!!!" Shadow sang, and then suddenly stopped.
"ALL SHALL FADE!!!" Jandalf continued.
"ALL SHALL FADE!!!" Obi-Wan finished.
Shadow choked, though she wasn't eating anything to choke on. "I DON'T WANNA FADE!!!!!!!!!" she screamed, quite Shadow-like.
Jandalf laughed. "HAH!!! GOTCHA!!!"
Shadow took a deep breath. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Jandalf sighed dramatically, as many such Middle-earthians did frequently. "You don't have to," she said when Shadow finished screaming. "Come with us."
There was a strange light in Shadow's eyes-- that, if one understood her, showed the signs of another within her pressing to come out. But the person on the outside clenched her teeth. "Never."
Obi-Wan sighed.
"You can't turn me back. If only you knew the power of the dark side." There was a dangerous reflection within Shadow's eyes... a dark flame.
Jandalf caught this darkness, but not just the darkness, the hidden light behind it. "You know you want to come back."
A dry laugh, and Shadow smirked. "You wish."
"I feel the conflict without you... let go of your hate!" Jandalf grinned momentarily, as Obi-Wan groaned.
Shadow groaned as well, by the not-quite fitting quote, and yet it fit too well. She didn't bother answering the same way as others before her had, however. "Can't you be content with Tiana?"
Jandalf shrugged. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. And no, I want you too."
Shadow took a deep breath. "THERE IS NO CONFLICT!!! WE'RE IN THE MATRIX!!!!!"
Jandalf rolled her eyes, "Don't try to pull that one on me again."
"Pull what?" Shadow was actually clueless for a moment, until Obi-Wan pointed out that they were nearly at the throne room.
"Yep."
((at this moment, Jandalf returned, interestingly, in case anyone actually wonders what goes on in narrator 2's life. -that'd be Tiana, by the way, Jandalf is narrator 1-))
They walked into the throne room, a silent trio as the sense of impending doom feel upon them all. This feeling of silent doom was shattered as Palpatine began cackling evilly.
"Not this," Obi-Wan sighed.
Palpy finally stopped cackling. "Surprised to see me?" he asked in a very pathetic imitation of Agent Smith.
Jandalf rolled her eyes. "Actually, to tell the truth? No."
Glancing over at her, Shadow gave her that look. She thought over slapping her, but had already done that, and the present narrator didn't feel like making it worse. "Shut up," she hissed. "Anyhow, I have brought the prisoners, my master." She rolled her eyes, which luckily was not noticed by Palpatine, who proceeded to cackle more.
It was at that moment that Darth Vader choose to come in. "Uh, my master... we have a small problem." Shadow found herself wondering if he actually sounded nervous.
"Yes, slav... err... Lord Vader?" asked Palpatine, stopping himself before he called Vader 'slave'. "What is it?"
Vader paused a moment. "Almost insignificant, as it is likely that they will not escape this structure. But... er..."
Jandalf whooped. "YAY AUDDIE!!!"
"Sithspit!" Shadow hissed.
Obi-Wan cheered, and hugged Jandalf.
"I knew I shouldn't've left the kavamm-proof doors off of Tiana and Audreidi's cells," she muttered.
Jandalf snickered. "Well, some Sith can spit. Palpy's too dehydrated, and Vader... well... you know..."
Shadow growled, and Palpatine jumped up-- a shocking thing considering. "I can too spit!" he hissed.
Jandalf snickered, as Palpatine attempted to spit, and ultimately failed. Obi-Wan joined her in giggling.
"I won't even try," Vader said, dryly, thinking about the stupidity of his master.
Palpatine fixed his glowy, evil eyes upon Jandalf and Obi-Wan. "You anger me," he hissed. "Must I vac you a second time?"
Jandalf passed this off with a wave of her hand. "Nah, that's okay."
"We're fine," Obi-Wan added.
At that time, Palpatine decided to throw in one of those evil pieces of information. "I thought as well. So, my young apprentice has told you about your clone, Jandalf? The dark side one?"
Jandalf fainted.
Cringing, Shadow muttered, "Oops."
"Sheesh. Why must you always do that?" asked Obi-Wan kneeling beside the collapsed orange figure on the ground.
"Hehehhehehhehhehehhehehhehehehheh," Palpy cackled.
"You really are evil." Obi-Wan shook Jandalf. "Jandalf... Jandalf, wake up!"
Shadow was confused by this comment, and said so, asking, "Who? Palpy or I?"
"Uh... both, I suppose. Jandalf...." He continued shaking Jandalf gently enough to wake her up but not hurt her.
"HOLD THE ONIONS!" Jandalf screeched, sitting up abruptly.
Of course, Palpatine continued cackling. "YES, IN THIS WORLD, YOUR CLONE IS EVIL, JEDI!!!!!"
Shadow groaned. "You weren't supposed to tell her that," she muttered. The problem was that Shadow wasn't in charge anyhow, so her telling Palpatine that was rather useless.
"...I have a clone?" In the original shock, Jandalf had completely forgotten what had just been told to her.
Shadow continued babbling meaninglessly. "The whole Darth Jandalf thing isn't a good idea to inform her of... and... uhhh... you and Obi-Wan were both cloned, actually...."
"DARTH Jandalf?!" she screamed.
Obi-Wan fainted.
"Uhh... yeah.... actually, we call her Jan2..."
Jandalf took a deep breath. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! SEE WHAT YOU DID!!!!"
Finished cackling finally, Palpatine filled in, "I was suppose to let go of such great Force-masters?"
Shadow sighed. "OBI-WAN, GET UP ALREADY!"
Jandalf had to nearly be restrained by Shadow as she screamed at Palpy, "YOU LITTLE SHRUNKEN MUMMIFIED TWERP!!! WHY I'LL..."
Obi-Wan, who had conveniently woken up at that moment, set his hand on her shoulder. "Jandalf..."
Palpy continued. "Darth Jandalf, Darth Ben, and Darth Shadow... not to mention Darth Vader..."
Under her breath, Shadow muttered, "That's Jan2, Obi-Two, Shadow, and Darth Vader, you mummified twerp..."
"I wanna go home..." Obi-Wan groaned weakly.
"That event has been rendered extremely unlikely, love," Jandalf answered.
"Darn it all."
Palpatine began cackling dangerously. Shadow took a good look at him, and the strange light in his eyes, and began pushing the two Jedi towards the door. "Now would be a good time to leave..."
"I concur heartily," Obi-Wan answered, as Shadow shoved them out the door. Vader took that moment to disappear as well.
Force-lightning blasts filled the room, and all the unlucky guards were incinerated, sadly.
In sync, Jandalf and Shadow breathed out. "That was a close one," Jandalf said, as Shadow said nearly the same thing:
"That was close." She sighed, suddenly catching what Jandalf had said. "WHY, OH WHY?!" Shadow began hitting her head on a nearby wall.
Obi-Wan laughed. "You two are still like-minded, despite it all."
Giggling, Jandalf caught her breath, again seeming very un-Jedi-master-like. "You do belong with us. Come ON, Padawan."
Finally, Shadow finished hitting her head on the nearby medal pole that somehow seemed to appear at that very moment. She clenched her fists. "I am not your Padawan!"
"YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY PADAWAN!!!" Jandalf exclaimed, as the narrator took the assumption that she was happy, and not mad at that moment. This assumption had fortunately proved to be correct, as Jandalf did not implode from contradictory information feeding through her synapses.
"I'm not your Padawan, I'm the EMPEROR'S APPRENTICE!" Shadow shouted back. However, she was very unconvincing when she stated this, and Jandalf caught that without any problem.
"Oh, don't give me that! Who'd want to be apprenticed to that freak of nature anyway?" she shot right back.
Breathing hard, Shadow looked at Jandalf darkly. "I am no longer Tiana."
"Then I am no longer Jandalf," Jandalf replied mysteriously.
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "And we all know that's contradictory."
Shadow smirked. "You'll always be the fool you were." A quick insult, she had no idea what that actually would mean a few days down the road.
Jandalf giggled. "You really believe that?"
"Indeed."
"I may be crazy, but I am no fool."
Shadow rolled her eyes. "Yeah... SUUUUUUURE."
Obi-Wan intervened then. "Look... can't we settle this over an early supper, or something?"
"What do you think?" asked Jandalf.
"Yeah, whatever?" asked Shadow. "Where do you want to eat, Kenobi?"
"Uh... I'm not sure? Why are we all asking questions?"
Jandalf shrugged. "How about that place down the hall?"
Shadow found that a fine enough idea, being as they all seemed to like eating a lot anyhow. "Sure." She snickered. "No DQ, sorry."
"Mmmmm... meat..." Somehow, at that moment, the mouth-watering smell of food managed to waft down the hall, and caused all their mouths to water.
"Food..." Shadow rolled her eyes. "Why is it we always need to eat?!"
"So what if we just ate?" Jandalf asked, along the same trail as Shadow-- again.
Shadow pointed out one thing, "Just don't order Vader's Special."
Obi-Wan snicked. "What, the mashed peas?"
Fom somewhere down the hall, Vader shouted, "I HEARD THAT!"
"Actually," Shadow pointed out, "it's garlic juice, garlic meat, garlic bread... uhhh... yeah." She smirked slightly, as she had an annoying habit of doing.
Obi-Wan fainted.
"Agh... not AGAIN!" Jandalf lamented.
"What can I say, it's VADER'S special!" Shadow said, checking Obi-Wan pulse. "Still breathing, that's good..."
Rolling her eyes, Jandalf pointed out that she could eat garlic if she put her mind to it. Luckily though, the narrator wasn't about to let that happen, so we were all safe. Shadow took this a moment to point out that it was Jandalf who had originally introduced the garlic to the plot anyhow.
"I know," Jandalf replied, rolling her eyes. Luckily, at this moment, Obi-Wan came back to. People in these plot lines seemed to faint a lot, strangely.
"W-what happened?" asked Obi-Wan.
"You fainted."
"Oh. Okay."
Shadow looked over at Jandalf. "What can I say, you're a fool."
"I'm not a fool." Jandalf took Obi-Wan hand and helped him up.
"You are too, now let's go," Shadow replied, exasperated.
"No, I'm not."
Shadow sighed. "C'mon."
"I'm going to persist in this, you know," Jandalf pointed out. Shadow ignored her, and led the way down the hall, not talking. Innocently, Jandalf whistled the Imperial March as they walked.
The music cued up on full-scale loud speakers, and Obi-Wan hid a grin. "LORD VADER'S COMING!" a random Stormtrooper shouted.
Shadow shot him. "Is NOT!"
"How's everything checking out?" asked Darth Vader stepping up behind her.
"Oops. On SECOND thought..." Shadow edged away, a slight nervousness edging her voice now.
Vader took a look around, spoke with Shadow quickly, and left, being as he merely appeared as a plot point. The actual dialogue was decided to have been completely irrelevant to the story at hand.
Grimacing, Shadow watched him leave. "THAT explains the music..."
Jandalf hid another grin. "Of course. You should've guessed, Padawan."
"I am NOT your PADAWAN!"
"Oooohhhh, so sorry, Padawan."
Shadow hissed, and breathed sharply. "Am not a Padawan... must... stay... calm..."
Jandalf smiled innocently. "You do that, Padawan."
Shadow turned around, and began storming off.
"Don't TRIP!" Jandalf called after her.
"ARGH!" Shadow whirled to take the moment and glare at Jandalf viciously. Obi-Wan sniggered, remembering the first ever spoof that Jandalf wrote that this narrator hasn't read so she's clueless on what was meant by that but wrote it anyway... whoa... run-on sentence! And of course, this makes the other narrator wish to actually post the first-ever-spoof up on Fanfiction... but that's for another time. Hopefully.
Shadow ended up tripping over her platform shoes anyhow.
"Heeheehee. Who called it." Jandalf snickered.
Shadow muttered incoherently, which was obvious because there isn't anything that she said that was PG.
Obi-Wan shrugged. "Well, you can't complain. You are evil, after all, and everyone knows they trip on a regular basis."
"I don't trip," Shadow hissed, standing back up, and tripping over her shoes again.
After regaining her composure, Jandalf asked, "What was that then? Huh? HUH?"
"It was intentional?" Shadow yanked the platform shoes off, and grimaced, muttering about shoes that she can't even walk in.
"Suuuuuuure it was. And I'm a monkey's uncle." Both Jandalf and Obi-Wan rolled their eyes respectively.
Shadow threw her shoe at Jandalf, and the other at Obi-Wan. "Shut up."
"OW! NOT FUNNY!" Obi-Wan rubbed his head where the shoe had whacked him. Shadow stood up, and was remarkably shorter, being as she wore platform shoes for a reason.
There was a rather loud clunk-- that was also quite exaggerated, considering, and Jandalf was unconscious.
"Not AGAIN!" Obi-Wan cried. They had been knocked unconscious a rather great deal of times over the last couple of chapters anyhow. Shadow groaned, and Obi-Wan muttered something about brats throwing shoes.
Shadow muttered something about Jedi fools.
Obi-Wan muttered something about stupid Sith muttering about Jedi.
Shadow muttered more just because everyone else was muttering.
Obi-Wan muttered something about getting his shoes thrown out of reach in Alabama.
Shadow muttered something about leaving Jandalf unconscious.
"WHOA!" Jandalf shouted, sitting up sharply. "FIND SOME CHICKEN AND LEAVE THE DILL... uhh..." The narrator has no clue why Jandalf always screams something about food, but it seems to work, because she always does.
"Are you all right?" asked Obi-Wan.
Shadow made an odd face, wondering why Jandalf always had to scream something about food.
"I had this strange vision of platform shoes being boiled with cabbage... but it's gone now," Jandalf said, scrunching up her face slightly.
"Ai..." Shadow rolled her eyes. "Still hasn't changed... mutter." Shadow muttered.
"Whaaaaaat? Sheesh." Jandalf muttered something as well.
"You know what I mean. Now, were we going to EAT, or not?" Shadow glared at both of them.
"FOOD!"
Obi-Wan agreed with a similar outburst.
They began walking down the hall once more, as Shadow herself was quite eager to eat.
"ROLLIN' DOWN THE HIGHWAYYYYYYYY..." Jandalf began singing loudly.
Shadow sighed. "I sigh too much."
"Everyone does." Obi-Wan sighed.
"SIGH!" Shadow sighed again.
Jandalf hit Shadow lightly on the shoulder. "Come on, Shadow... sing something."
Shadow found it rather odd that Jandalf had called her 'Shadow' vs. 'Padawan', and commented on that too.
"Sooooo? Sing."
"Sigh..." Shadow made an odd face. "Sing WHAT?!"
"You must know some sort of tune."
Shadow pointed out that the Imperial March had no words, and quite dryly too.
"I'll start then." Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "Home is behind... the world ahead...."
Shadow screamed. "ARRRRRGGGHHH!!! NOT THAT AGAIN!!!!!! I AM NOT FADING, AND YOU KNOW IT!!!!!"
"AND THERE ARE MANY PATHS TO TREAD!" Jandalf continued on the song. They had an odd thing with singing that song. "Hint, hint..."
Shadow took a deep breath. "THE ROAD GOES EVER ON AND ON!!!" she shouted, tuning out Jandalf.
Jandalf, who had succeeded in her goal of making Shadow sing, for whatever reason, not even the narrator knows, began to sing along.
Obi-Wan joined in as well. "DOWN FROM THE ROAD WHERE IS BEGAN!"
"THE PLOT GOES EVER ON AND ON!" Jandalf began singing happily, "DOWN FROM THE BRAIN WHERE IT BEGAN!!!"
"...AND WE WILL FOLLOW IT IF WE CAN!!" Obi-Wan completed.
"Though it might get confusing..." Jandalf pointed out.
Shadow sighed very, very dramatically. "YOU ARE HOPELESS!" The present narrator would like to point out that that particular song happened to be of her invention, and not Jandalf's, in case you were wondering.
Obi-Wan made a face. "Did you hear that? We're hopeless."
"Who knew?" asked Jandalf.
"SO THERE!" Shadow shouted loudly.
Jandalf shrugged. "Fine by me, Padawan."
"ARRRRGGGGHHHH!!! I AM NOT YOUR PADAWAN!"
Rolling her eyes, Jandalf commented, "Picky, picky."
Shadow took a deep breath.
"Now let it out slowly," Obi-Wan instructed.
"Must... not... kill her..." Shadow hissed.
Jandalf grinned maniacally.
"...if only I didn't have direct orders..." Shadow continued.
"What a shame," Obi-Wan commented.
Shadow scoffed. "Oh, you would say that, wouldn't you."
"Well, I suppose so, seeing as I just did," Obi-Wan replied dryly.
Shadow shredded a napkin, attempting to take her frustration out on the inanimate object.
"Eh-heh. That's not impressive, you know," pointed out Jandalf. "Try a plate."
Shadow screamed, and threw a random appearing plate at the wall. "AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! AND I'M GOING TO LENGTHS TO SAVE YOU PEOPLE!!!"
"Really?" Jandalf had a very sarcastic undertone to her voice. "Wow! You're saving me? From what, myself?"
Shadow sighed. "You won't understand."
"Nooo... the thing is, you won't LET me understand."
Shadow put her platform shoes back on, proceeding to become nearly as tall as Jandalf, who is quite tall, as we have mentioned several times before. "Exactly."
"To function as a mentat, one must have an appropriate source and amount of data," Obi-Wan replied, having read the Dune series several times at Jandalf's prompting.
"You need to know nothing yet."
"Are you sure?" asked Jandalf, getting that exaggeratedly sarcastic tone again.
"Perfectly sure."
"Were those direct orders or not?" asked Obi-Wan, in turn being annoying.
Shadow clenched her teeth. "I am not explaining anything yet." She paused, and added, "Yoda will explain everything in good time."
"You're aaaaabsolutely sure?" asked Jandalf, continuing to be very annoying and Jandalf-like.
"Yoda?" Obi-Wan was confused. "Where's he in all this?"
Shadow muttered, "It's all the plot bunny's fault..."
There was a flash of random light, and a plot bunny appeared. "MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!" It vanished in a poof of orange smoke.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" wailed Shadow. "THAT'S AGAINST THE PLOT!!!!!! Well, actually it's not..."
"THE PLOT BUNNY PREVAILS!" Jandalf proclaimed.
"Heh." Obi-Wan snickered.
Shadow growled.
"Ooh! I love this game!" Jandalf cleared her throat. "Moo."
"Oink," said Obi-Wan, participating.
"Meow," returned Jandalf.
Shadow crossed her eyes, and began muttering something about pathetic.
"Growl," growled Obi-Wan.
Jandalf shook her head. "She already did that one."
"Darn. Uh... chirp."
Shadow began hitting her head on the random appearing pole that seemed to appear whenever she needed it from nowhere in particular.
Jandalf had to think for a moment. "Uhh... mute ostrich."
"Platypus." Obi-Wan grinned. He liked platypuses for some odd reason.
"Giraffe."
Shadow screamed. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!"
"Unplugged hairdryer."
Jandalf looked at Obi-Wan. "How does that fit?"
"It doesn't make any noise," he explained. "That's the rule of the game, right?"
"...die... must... kill..." Shadow muttered, and continued hitting her head.
"Ooooh." Jandalf realized exactly what he meant. "Uh... chewed gum."
Obi-Wan stopped Shadow from persisting on hitting her head. "Shadow? What's wrong with you."
At a possible look from Shadow, and a sigh, Jandalf looked at her. "Don't sigh at me, Padawan. You're the one who started it."
"Nothing is wrong with me," Shadow hissed. "Not that you'd care. It's what's wrong with you." She groaned, and added, "AND I'M NOT YOUR PADAWAN!"
"Haha," Jandalf pretended to laugh. "That's funny. Now tell us what's wrong."
"We'll make it better," Obi-Wan filled in.
"If at all possible," Jandalf completed.
"NOTHING!!! ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!"
Obi-Wan looked her over. "You sure? You don't look too good."
A random trooper filled in for Shadow. "PMS..."
"Huh?" asked Obi-Wan, confused.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Shadow jumped on the stormy, and proceeded to Force-choke him. "NO ONE DARES SUGGEST THAT!!!! NO ONE, YOU HEAR ME, NO ONE!!!!!!"
"You never had a sister, did you, Obi?" asked Jandalf, watching the scene with some amusement.
"Uh... no."
"Okay, that explains."
Obi-Wan was still quite clueless, as Shadow jumped up and down and screamed. "DIE!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Who me?" Jandalf pointed at herself. "No, I'm too hungry."
"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Shadow screamed.
"What does PMS stand for anyway?" asked Obi-Wan, quite innocently, with a blank look on his face.
Jandalf coughed into her hand. "Shut up."
"Shut UP!" Shadow shouted, a little less subtle than Jandalf.
"Whaaat?" asked Obi-Wan, still confused and beginning to become irritated that no one would tell him what those three letters meant.
"SHUT UP!!!" Shadow screamed.
Jandalf sighed. "Obi, dear... shut up." She sighed again. "Men. So, about that food...?"
"It's at the food place." Shadow seemed quite glad to get her thoughts away from such a subject. "Come on."
Shadow led the way to the food place, both her and Jandalf slightly red about the conversation that had just taken place a moment ago. Strangely enough, there was actually a food court in the Garlic Star, the big, scary super weapon made by the Emperor.
Breathing in deeply, Jandalf sighed. "Ah, the smell of fat and grease."
Shadow rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Eat all you want, I'll be paying." She muttered something.
"Really?" Jandalf gave her that look, which we have been becoming rather familiar with lately. "Couldn't you just hold up the clerk with your lightsaber, or something?"
"Jandaaaaaaalf..." Obi-Wan was quite warning in his tone.
Shadow sighed. "What's the point? They work for me anyhow."
"So, if they work for you, the money goes to you anyhow."
"Yeah."
Obi-Wan was very confused. "So tell me again why you have to pay in the first place?"
Shadow groaned. "Just eat what you want, all right?"
"I can live with that." Obi-Wan headed to the nearest booth.
Jandalf glanced at Shadow, a look in her eyes revealing what she thought.
"I'm not coming back, young master," Shadow replied dully.
"Huh? What did you say?" Jandalf was strangely confused by Shadow's choice of words.
"Actually, make that very young..."
Jandalf sat down. "Who's young?"
Shadow continued on, "As you were only born five years ago, or so... technically..."
Laughing, Jandalf sat down. "That's funny. Tell me another one." Obi-Wan was, by this point, out of hearing range.
"I'm not kidding, Jedi."
"Uh-huh. Well, as you can plainly see, I am not five."
Shadow sighed, and looked rather distant for a moment. "You're Anakin's daughter, sent back in time to escape the purge," she said distantly, remembering everything all too well in her mind's eye. Remembering what else had happened that day-- turning-- shadows-- memories gone...
She was jerked back by Jandalf. "So? Who can tell exactly how old he is under that mask anyhow? How am I suppose to believe you? Huh? HUH?"
Shadow was still rather distant. "You grew up on Middle-earth though..." It was odd, the way the paradox worked. She sighed. "Don't believe then."
"I knew that. I grew up as a wizard on Middle-earth, and then I came back to Star Wars land. And then you showed up in that garlicky abomination thing..."
Shadow remained in her mind slightly at that moment. "You know it's true," she echoed, not actually talking to Jandalf, if the Jedi would've taken the moment to look at her closely. She was more echoing a distant memory, one that was barely there.
Jandalf laughed darkly. "You're trying to tell me truth? How's this for truth? You are very appropriately named-- you are nothing but a shadow of your past."
Shadow flinched-- it wasn't noted by those present how much that had hurt her. "I know that. I cannot help having lost my past."
"Well, really. We must all stand upon our pasts or fall back into them. You..." Jandalf paused a moment. "I'm not sure what you're doing. If you have no past, you have nothing to stand upon." ((A.N: It was when Jandalf said this, that the plot we are at present following came into being... snicker.))
((Jandalf: YAY!!! It's all my fault AGAIN!!))
((Tiana: ...must... breathe... you know, it wasn't a BAD plot bunny that she accidentally caused... just a bit more... normal... and freaky... (shudders)))
"You do not know anything." Shadow stood up sharply, and went off to order something to eat.
"Hah. Said the blind squirrel to the purple dog, reaching up into the sky." Jandalf thought this over. "Uhh... never mind that."
Shadow quirked her eyebrows.
"I said never mind. Those subs look pretty good." Jandalf stood up, and went to order as well.
After the two had ordered subs, Jandalf asked a question. "So. Why do you persist on not being my Padawan? It's what you were."
Shadow went and sat back down with her sub. "What I WAS... not who I am now."
Jandalf sat down as well, insisting on following Shadow. "No one changes that much until they've lost all sense of identity. You haven't gotten that far."
"You're so sure of that? You're not me, you'll never know. Tiana does not exist in me any longer, she exists in your Padawan."
"Well, I see what I see. There's still much of my Padawan within you. Thus... you are still my Padawan."
"I mean the one who's escaping prison right now. And you must be blind then."
"And you're wrong. Tiana does not exist in my Padawan, my Padawan exists within Tiana."
Shadow was quite confused. "I am Shadow. Tiana took away who I am."
"I'm not blind. I may be nearsighted, but I can see as well as anyone with intuition."
Shadow began eating quietly, attempting to ignore Jandalf, but ultimately failing. Jandalf is a very hard character to ignore.
"Tiana took away who you are? Who was that? Who was your missing persona?" Jandalf looked at her quite knowingly considering what was going on.
Shaking her head, Shadow commented softly. "You won't understand. She isn't me anymore than I am me... only one of us can be Tiana, and she is Tiana." I have to hold on to Shadow for her sake... oh, if only you knew! The mass of emotion that suddenly poured through Shadow's mind hurt her a lot, and let her feel one thing too clearly. There can't be two Tianas...
"I know that. But since you're of different times..."
Shadow shrugged. "Doesn't work that way. She took away my identity as Tiana, and now I no longer remember Tiana."
Obi-Wan sang out with a mouth full of rice, "A PARADOX, A PARADOX, A MOST INGENIOUS PARADOX!!"
"Stupid plot bunnies," muttered Jandalf. "Well, we'll have to see what we can do about your memory then. I don't know about you, but I want my Padawan back!"
"You have your Padawan. Elsewhere." The struggle that Shadow remembered so well went through her mind... remembering... I can't become Tiana again! It'll tear Jandalf apart if she has to face Shadow within her Padawan!
Jandalf sighed. "Go talk to her then, and dredge yourself up."
"I'm not talking to her. I can't face myself anymore than she could."
"So you don't believe in internal mirrors?" Jandalf shot back.
"No... not really, no. I believe there is the Force. And that is all."
"The Force IS an internal mirror."
"It's merely a tool."
"Then that's where you've gone wrong."
"That's what you think." There was a sudden sharpness in Shadow's voice, an edge that wasn't there before.
"Well. Employ it as a tool, then... turn into yourself and look! You might not like what you find in there, but it's better than to leave it and rot inside." The tone Jandalf had was almost near to dangerous, an unusual happening but possible nonetheless.
"Just... eat, all right." Shadow attempted to pass off the order that Jandalf was giving her.
"Not until you give it a try."
"I refuse to look into myself," Shadow shot right back. Because it'll hurt you more than me.
"Did it ever hurt to give it a little try?" Jandalf looked at her, forced eye contact. "No one is ever anything without taking some risks. Do it." A direct order there.
"I'm eating. I am not facing myself."
A twisted expression came over Jandalf's face. "Then I'll face you. Do you want that to happen?"
"Like I care."
Jandalf raised one eyebrow.
"I'm Sith. I don't care what you do, or what you try. You aren't as powerful as you think you are." Shadow spelled it out slowly, and allowed herself to meet Jandalf's gaze at that point.
The Jedi Master shrugged slightly. "I have no qualms saying that I am a part of who Tiana is. You said you were afraid to face her, afraid to face yourself."
"You are not Tiana, merely the one who changed her."
"In that I have power, if nothing else," Jandalf added. "I don't claim to be Tiana. I'm just a piece of the puzzle." Her eyes changed slightly. "But what can you do when a piece is missing?"
"A part of the puzzle." Shadow laughed grimly. "You're most of the puzzle."
"It's extremely difficult fabricating another piece, a replacement."
Shadow refused to let her thoughts through-- that was, in a way, betraying Tiana. I can't... "I don't care about Tiana anymore. I am Shadow now, and she has her own path." And if I am not there, it'll be the better... you must understand this!
"I don't believe that for a second and neither do you. Shadows are insubstantial. Shadows have no identity, no purpose except to tag along after their masters."
The expression that spread across Shadow's face at that moment was anything but pleasant. Grim, and hurt as well, maybe.
"A shadow cannot exist without the presence of light." Jandalf spelled this out almost slowly, taking time to get the point across with deliberate inflection.
Shadow stood up, and didn't speak, merely stared at the wall across from them.
"Think about it. I'm here till Thursday." Jandalf snickered slightly.
"You are here until I say so." There was a darkness within Shadow's voice, and another presence as well-- the presence of trying to keep from screaming, or crying.
"Are you so sure?"
Shadow turned, and locked herself in the nearby refresher, a sudden despair taking her. Oh, Tiana...
"I hate doing this," Jandalf said, talking to her sub.
"It's a crucial point for her, though," Obi-Wan commented, coming up behind Jandalf. If only they had known just how crucial...
((A/N: Whoa... long chapter. Anyhow... (blinks) Once again, no reviews beyond my dear Padawan. THANK YOU, PADAWAN... (grins again) Okay... that's that... and... well... CAN'T ANYONE REVIEW BESIDES PADMÉ EVENSTAR?! Not that I don't appreciate her reviews...))
