Author's Note: So again, it's taken me forever to update, but here we go. I'm thinking I'm getting stuck with this story, too much going on and not enough inspiration right now.

Chapter Four: So Far Now

Hermione awoke the next morning feeling better than she had the previous morning. She knew that she was in for a long day and many questions from her dearest friends. She wished that she could just stay in bed, but missing two consecutive days of class was too much for her. She knew she needed to go, even if she had to face Professor Snape again.

She knew that he was only trying to help, but part of her still felt that he only thought of what should have been a blessing as a burden. He'd pretty much said it himself, and that was not something that she was going to forget soon. In truth, she knew she could not raise this child alone, but if she had to, she knew her parents would eventually turn around and help her. She wasn't even sure how her parents would react, but it wasn't like it had been her choice and hopefully, she thought, they'd be able to deal with the news.

Hermione yawned and got up out of bed. Her robes and school uniform were lying on the chair beside her bed, she moved towards them and picked them up. She took them into the bathroom and dressed before leaving Gryffindor Tower to go for breakfast.

Severus Snape woke up in a foul mood, but it wasn't because of yesterday's events. He always woke up like this, cranky and terrifying. As he'd always said, waking up ruined his day almost as much as dealing with the brats he taught everyday.

He hadn't slept well that night, but he never did, not since he'd become a death eater. Back then, he spent his nights worrying that what he did was wrong, that he should have never taken the oath and pledged his life to the Dark Lord. He knew he couldn't change it, but for the first many years, he sat awake at night thinking about nothing else. Then it turned into staying awake thinking about his double agency and worrying about getting caught. Now it was worrying about his life and for the first time, somebody else's life.

It wasn't even the baby he was worried about; not that he was worrying because he wanted to. He knew he had screwed up a young girl's life, a young girl who was at the top of her class and the head girl. She had so much to look forward to in life and he had ruined that. It was much like the many times he had to prove to the Dark Lord that he was a loyal servant. He'd had to rape more than one muggle born witch in his beginning days as a death eater. Severus had tried to put that behind him, but he had found it hard. For weeks after he could hear the young girls screaming and begging him to let them go. But he couldn't let them go he would have been killed for showing compassion towards a muggle born witch. He'd ruined their lives just as he had Hermione's.

Severus was not like the rest of the death eaters, he had only become one out of rebellion. Even then, he didn't want to become one, but there was no greater rebellion than becoming a death eater. He still had feelings; he had not become numb like so many of his fellow death eaters. He could not take the life of another person, not like Lucius. It was easy to see why the Dark Lord favoured Lucius. He could rape and kill anyone and not bat an eye. He did not feel any remorse; he did what he had to do and got on with his life. Severus had never been able to do that, and sometimes wished that he could just get on with his life after the horrible things he had done.

Severus was also worried about what would happen when Lord Voldemort found out about this child. Death eaters were supposed to marry purebloods and have pureblood children. This child would not be a pureblood and the Dark Lord would not be pleased. He would have lost a child before it had the choice to become a loyal servant.

Severus shook his head clear of his thoughts and got out of bed. He ran a very hot, steaming shower, undressed and climbed in. It was going to be a long day.

Hermione walked down to the Great Hall and sat down in her normal spot. Ginny was already at the table and she turned to Hermione.

'Mione, are you feeling better? Harry told me what happened yesterday, Snape can be kind of a jerk sometimes, don't worry about it.' Ginny patted Hermione's arm; much like Mrs. Weasley had done on many occasions before.

'I am, I think I just had the stomach flu or something, I'm feeling much better now. Thanks.' Ginny smiled and passed the plate of toast to Hermione. 'Have you seen Harry or Ron, I want to tell them I'm okay.'

'I haven't seen them this morning, but they had an early morning Quidditch practice. They should be here soon, no doubt Ron's starving.' Hermione forced a little laugh and took a bite of her toast.

Hermione had almost finished breakfast when Ron and Harry arrived at the table. They were both covered in mud and their Quidditch robes were soaked with rain. January had started out very wet and mild, there was very little snow on the ground and what was left was melting in the rain.

'You guys look wet, is it another cruddy day at Hogwarts?' Harry smiled while Ron nodded with a piece of toast in his mouth.

'It's just raining a little bit, you know, enough to flood the school, but other than that, it's beautiful.' Hermione giggled at Harry's comment. The bewitched sky was very dark on cloudy, exactly what Hermione was feeling.

Professor Snape walked into the Great Hall. He looked briefly over at the Gryffindor table and saw that Hermione had made it down. He knew she'd be in class today, she did not miss class even when she was sick. She wouldn't have missed it unless he told her off. She still looked ill, but not as bad as it had been.

Hermione finished another piece of toast and left for her first class, Arithmancy. Her head was not in the class today though, for the first time, she could not answer the question that Professor Vector had asked her. She was starting to feel ill and irritated again but did not want to miss anymore classes. She had potions work to catch up on, they'd made a potion on the day she missed and she needed to finish it. Potions was before lunch and it was the first class of the day that she was with Harry and Ron. She stopped at the washroom before going down to the dungeons and meeting up with the rest of the Golden Trio.

Severus waited as the last stragglers ran into his class, he enjoyed having this power over them. Even though they were all 7th years, they were still scared of him. None of them would be late unless they had a damn good reason and he didn't mind that, he didn't have to serve detention with him that way. Hermione was the last to arrive and she slipped quietly into her seat knowing that she was late, but Professor Snape did not say anything instead choosing to glare at her slightly before turning to the whole class.

'Class, these are your instructions,' He pointed his wand to the board and the instructions appeared, 'Follow them carefully and please, Mr. Longbottom, do not wreck another cauldron.' There were snickers from the Slytherins and looks of sympathy from the Gryffindors. 'Granger, will you please come into the hall?'

Hermione got up as the Slytherins again started snickering. She figured she was getting a detention, she'd been late and she knew it. Severus held the door open for her as she walked past him into the hall.

'Miss. Granger, by order of Madam Pomfrey, you have to stop working in this class. I can give you theory, but you cannot do the practical part of this course. It is unsafe for both you and the life inside you.' Hermione nodded; at least it wasn't detention. 'Now, if anyone asks, you are doing a special project for me and that you cannot be bothered. You can go back in.' Hermione opened the door and sat down, in minutes there was a big book of potions with a research question for her to work on.

At the end of class, she walked with Ron and Harry to the stairs and then excused herself to her room. She was feeling really ill now and decided that she could not make it to Transfiguration that afternoon. She laid down in her bed and took a nap.

Severus hadn't been paying attention to what the 1st years were doing and now he had a big mess to clean. He sent all the students out early and started to clean. When he was finished, he sat down at his desk and sighed. He didn't know what to do; this wasn't something he'd ever expected to have to deal with. All he knew was that he was in a serious situation where he was the adult and he had to deal with it the best he could.

With his classes finished, he went to his studies and sat in his armchair. He poured himself a glass of brandy and magicked a fire into the fireplace. He'd just gotten comfortable when the mark on his forearm started to burn. Severus quickly got up, threw floo powder into the fire and yelled, 'Albus!' His head appeared in Albus' fire, 'The Dark Lord is calling me, I will be back soon. Please have the normal arrangements prepared.' Albus nodded as Severus' head disappeared.

Severus ran out of his dungeons and through the Entrance Hall, he ran out of breath across the school grounds and disappeared out of sight.