HI!! Did you guys hear when the Half- Blood Prince was coming out? My friend called me about it minutes after I finished the first chapter. It will be out on: JULY 16, 2005!

Thanks to:

Princess- Perfect: MY FIRST REVIEWER! gives hugThank you so much! Yes, I'm probably going to put in the whole entering-the-Forbidden-Forest-despite-the-fact-it's-forbidden thing. I'll put in as many clichés as I can think of too. Thanks again for your WONDERFUL, KIND, HELPFUL review!!!

Inspiration1111: You question my upbringing methods?? raised eyebrows

But I am the very PICTURE of sanity! REALLY! Hehe. Thanks!

Unbeknownst: Thank you. I just find Mary Sues so amusing. And there are a lot of unlikely repeated incidents in the books, so yeah, I thought they they'd be fun to point out. Thank you again!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except this computer and some chocolate. 2 minutes later- I now own just a computer.


Harry felt the tug of the portkey, and the next thing he knew, he was kneeling on the floor in 12 Grimmauld Place. The place wasn't nearly as dusty and dark as it had been last year. He noted that the portrait of Mrs. Black had been removed. In its place was a framed photo of Sirius, before Azkaban.

After several pangs of sorrow (he had forgotten to finish mourning earlier and now did it for an extra long period of time), Harry looked up and saw Ron and Hermione.

He wasn't surprised to see Hermione there. She always spent most of the summer with the Weasleys, there was no reason for this one to be any different. It certainly shouldn't have bothered her parents that Hermione spent nearly ten months of the year at Hogwarts and another month with the Weasleys.

(A/N: I hope you can tell I'm not being serious. But how exactly do Hermione's parents feel about her living with them for only one month a year?)

Ron hadn't changed since he last saw him five hours ago.

And then Harry talked to Ron, Harry talked to Hermione, and they lived at 12 Grimmauld Place for another month happily, blah blah blah. Then the three of them went to King's Cross Station and went to Hogwarts, Hermione and Ron are the Prefects, they've reached the Great Hall, the First Years have been sorted, Dumbledore is about to make his announcement.


Dumbledore cleared his throat, and the Great Hall fell silent.

"Welcome once again, Hogwarts students. We will eat soon, but I have some

announcements to make first." Clearly Dumbledore didn't realize that by the way the hall had fallen silent they all recognized that he was about to make an announcement.

"First, I would like to introduce your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher: Professor Nymphadora Tonks!"

Harry clapped; this was not new to him. Tonks had informed them of this over the summer since she was always dropping by for Order meetings.

"Secondly, this year, we will be joined by a number of sixth and seventh year American foreign exchange students from the, erm, Mary Smith School of Sorcery. We don't know how long they will be staying here yet, but I'm sure you will do your best to welcome them."

Harry frowned and turned to Hermione, who was staring glassy-eyed at Dumbledore and memorizing his every word. "Why do you think we've suddenly got a bunch of foreign exchange students? We've never had any before."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "There have been foreign exchange students at Hogwarts before. Just not for years, since the last time they did have them the students actually turned out to be spies for the Russian Ministry of Magic in disguise. The foreign exchange student thing has never turned out well. I've never heard of Mary Smith, though. I must have skipped a section in my book… I'll have to look it up later. Now be quiet. I'm missing part of his speech!"

"… And here they are!"

The doors burst open dramatically, but even as they did, there seemed to be a faint scent of flowers and vanilla drifting through the air. Then the first one appeared…

A girl about 16 years old glided in, and not in that creepy way Snape did. She almost seemed to be floating as she headed to the stool.

"Artemis Rianne Kaelyn Riddle Leureaux!"

Harry and Ron blinked at the name Riddle, but Hermione shook her head impatiently. "Riddle is a very common name, she's probably Muggle-born. Besides, they're from the United States."

The girl was gorgeous, with a slender, curvy figure and tanned complexion. Her eyes were large and like amethysts, framed by long dark lashes and alight with curiosity and wisdom. Her hair was blacker than midnight and fell to her waist in smooth, shining waves and curlicues. All of Hogwarts was silent, transfixed by her incredible beauty and how she seemed to be completely oblivious to it.

She gracefully picked up the hat, gracefully sat on the stool, and gracefully dropped the Sorting Hat over her raven-colored tresses. Artemis Rianne Kaelyn Riddle Leureaux was beautiful even when you couldn't see her head.

The hall waited in silence for the verdict. After a while, the hat shouted: "GRYFFINDOR!" Artemis Leureaux daintily set the hat back down on the stool. Her smile showed a perfect mouth of straight teeth. They were so blindingly white the flash scared some of the first years and they began to cry. But Artemis quickly fixed this by pulling a bulging bag of chocolate frogs from her robes and tossing them to the crying people. They immediately stopped and she stuffed the bag back into her pocket, though of course there was no visible lump.

The Gryffindor table was wild with enthusiasm, and the clapping was almost deafening. The other houses looked somewhat disappointed but still applauded her loudly.

Artemis approached Harry and his friends. "Hello," she said shyly. Her voice didn't have an American accent. It was musical and had a lilting tone like an angel's harp. "Is there anyone sitting here?" She pointed at the empty seat next to Harry.

"Yeah," he said, mesmerized by her beautiful voice and face. She was even prettier close up. "I mean, no, go on." She sat next to him. Dean and Seamus both scooted closer to them. Parvati and Lavender looked as though they couldn't decide whether to be jealous or awed.

"Fiona Leila Tamerin!" (A/N: Just so you know, I'm not going by alphabetical order.)

Another girl walked in, also gracefully.

She was stunningly beautiful too (surprise, surprise). Her eyes were a sparkling hazel, and they were at the current moment glancing around the room. When her eyes reached Harry, they widened for a second. Harry thought she looked familiar, but he dismissed it. There was no way he could have ever met her before. The girl had shoulder-length auburn hair that gleamed as if with the light of a thousand fires. Even Ginny looked impressed.

Ron poked him. "Look," he said in disgust, "Malfoy's staring at her! He fancies her!"

Harry turned; it was true that Malfoy was leering at her, but wasn't every other guy in the room? He shuddered anyway. This satisfied Ron, and they heard the hat call out, "GRYFFINDOR!"

Again, the room burst into earsplitting applause, again, loudest at the Gryffindor table. Ron was especially loud in showing his appreciation. Seamus and Dean looked thrilled that another beautiful girl was joining them.

Fiona Tamerin sat across from Artemis. They both grinned at each other.

"I knew we'd be in the same house! I wasn't at all worried once you were sorted. Gryffindor is supposed to be the house of bravery. I read it in Hogwarts, a History."

Hermione gasped in astonishment. "You've read it too? Isn't it the best?"

Fiona shrugged. "I'm hardly an expert, I've barely skimmed it. It is excellent though."

Hermione nodded, dazed that she wasn't the only one who had read it.

As more names were called out, more almost unnaturally beautiful girls about Harry's age walked in. They all had silky rich mahogany brown/golden as the sunlight/midnight black/flaming scarlet hair in flowing sheets/cascading curls. Their eyes were like glowing sapphires/emeralds/amethysts/icy diamonds/onyx. They all wore the hat for particularly long periods of time, but the hat always ended up yelling, "GRYFFINDOR!" As Artemis put it, maybe they all had the knowledge of Ravenclaw, the ambition of Slytherin, and were as hard working as Hufflepuff, but their bravery and overall goodness surpassed all the others, therefore they were put in Gryffindor.

"Wow," Neville said admiringly, "You're so smart!"

Artemis smiled modestly.

None of the students noticed Snape's expression of horror and disgust increasing with each name. Dumbledore didn't seem to notice and ended up having to conjure about 20 extra chairs- at least 15 girls had arrived after Fiona.

By the time they had finished, the other houses looked very disgruntled.

Snape's left eye was twitching. So many Gryffindors… Was the hat rigged?!

McGonagall was suspicious. Why were all these people so perfect-looking? Why were they all in Gryffindor? What was going on?


Yeah… This story is going to be concentrated on the Mary Sues, so I made Tonks the Defense the Dark Arts teacher. I didn't bother creating a new character because I'm lazy.

So anyway, I've got a bunch of ideas for whom the Mary Sues are going to include… Voldemort's daughter, Harry's long-lost twin, Sirius's long-lost daughter, Draco Malfoy's long-lost twin/cousin/other relation, Snape's long-lost daughter, and maybe Dumbledore's great-great something or other… There are going to be about 20 of them.

Reviews would be very much appreciated.