Summary:
AU: Son of Sin is a popular band with an abusive lead singer. Can her love cure him? Or will she become his next victim? TidusxYuna, AuronxRikku. Rated R for violence, language, and (consentual) sex.
Warning and Disclaimer:
See Chapter 1.
Rikku was, by nature, a morning person. It came from living on an island right on Spira's equator, where the sun rose at pretty much the same time every morning no matter what season it was. She had been given to the sun at birth, and like most of her clansmen, she reveled in the first touch of rays on her skin. So she always slept on the east side of any place she stayed, and always woke precisely at sunrise. Even though she was in a different building now, she could still look out of the window above her temporary bed and watch the sun lift over the liquid horizon. Some men in orange coveralls were cleaning the sphere for an upcoming tournament game. Life was peaceful. And she could almost hear a faint melody, music floating through the apartment...
No, wait. There was music floating through the apartment. Quiet, as if Auron was trying not to wake her, but she could hear the soft plucking of an electric guitar with the volume turned way down, and a few synthesized violins were playing a constant rhythmic loop. The guitar paused as she listened, and some drumbeats were added to the violins. Rikku slipped out of bed and padded in bare feet to the door. Just as she opened it, the guitar started up again, and she could smell a waft of clove smoke coming from the living room.
There he stood in nothing but black jeans, long hair tied in a thin ponytail that trailed down his back nearly to his ass. The only thing covering his chest was a leather guitar strap, and he was facing the window, strumming out a melody that he was apparently composing on the spot. A clove cigarette dangled from between his lips, and as she watched, he took a breath in and let it out through his nostrils, not pausing in the melody even to hold the thing. Rikku felt like she was witnessing a religious ceremony. Something twisted inside of her, deep down in the center between her hips, and she bit her lower lip.
Watching Tidus sing, hearing it, that was a beautiful thing. But this was something different. Tidus was all emotion and flair, throwing his arms out and screaming lyrics, kneeling on the floor. This was... something Rikku couldn't quite figure out. If Tidus was moved by his music, Auron was his music. His muscles pulsed with the chords, his entire body had the melody balanced. The chords and arpeggios he played trailed up his body, stood rooted on the floor with his strong legs, and he breathed the rhythm he played. He didn't move much, nothing was extraneous, no movement was unnecessary. This was a master at work.
Despite the scars, despite the age, despite the morning shadow and the downright gruffness of the man, he was transformed in the hazy golden glow of morning into something beautiful. Something powerful and strong. This was a man who knew. She felt like he could take one look at her and play the music that kept her breathing. He could transform her very life force into song.
Finally, he ended the melody, and hit a button on the synthesizer that must have told it to stop recording before he turned the machine off. Rested the guitar back in its stand. Waitwas that the guitar that had been in her room? The synthesizer that had been leaning against the wall, that she thought was just a regular keyboard? How did henevermind. Better not to question it.
Especially not when she saw the light sheen of exhertion on his chest when he turned around. And that chest... he had better muscles under those designer clothes than she could have possibly imagined. Now she knew the meaning of the phrase "rippling muscles." Tidus had always looked a little blocky, a little too hard, but this man had sinew. His arms were corded with strength that rested for now, but screamed potential energy, and she had no doubt he could call that strength into action at a moment's notice. And that bluge...
Auron took one last draw on his cigarette, then stubbed it out into an ashtray. "Good morning," he murmured. Fuck, she could have jumped him right then.
"M-morning." She giggled a bit, then immediately turned it into a cough. Ugh. Nice going, sweetcakes. "Sorry. I feel kind of, um. Wierd, this morning."
"Understandable. I apologize for my state of undress. Did I wake you?" he asked, walking over to one of the red armchairs to retrieve a blue cotton shirt.
"Mm-mm, no. Not really," she said, looking at the floor until she could calm her breathing back down. "I always wake up at sunrise." Once he was safely dressed and moving toward the kitchen, she lifted her head. At least she could trust herself not to drool, now.
Auron grunted, his version of an affirmative, and put a kettle of water on the burner. The room already had the faint smell and gurgle of coffee, and Rikku noticed that he had made himself a full five-cup pot. The man liked his caffiene, apparently. And besides, neither of them had had much sleep the night before. Once Rikku had seated herself at the kitchen bar, he started talking again.
"Is there anything in particular you want from the apartment? I'm going over there for your things at eight." A glance up. "Feel free to make yourself at home, by the way. Anything in the fridge is yours, as well as in the pantry. Just don't touch my sake."
"Um. Nothing in particular. Mostly I just have my clothes over there, and some random crap in a dresser. He can probably show you where it all is. Since I moved in with him and not the other way around, all the furniture's his." She stretched her arms out against the marble counter, then folded them so she could put her head down. The better she felt from the night before, the more queasy she felt in her gut. "I'm a little nervous," she admitted. "Like what if he's mad? Or what if he's upset? I'm kind of... I dunno."
"I'm not going to tell you not to be nervous. You don't know what's going to happen, and you're anxious. It's natural," he said, and placed a steeping mug of tea in front of her, along with the cream pitcher and a jar of honey. "Honestly, I don't know how he's going to react either. That's why you're not coming along. If I know Tidus though, and I think I do, he'll be more upset than angry. He's always genuinely sorry when he does something stupid. It is genuine. But sorrow does not make up for an action, and he'd do it again if he were placed in the same situation. No matter how inane that situation is." Filling a big mug with coffee, he set it on the counter to cool, and sat down next to her, much as he had the night before. It was comfortable, though, being near him like that, especially with the sunlight on her back and good morning smells of coffee and tea in her nose. Her irrational fear from the night before was gone, evaporated with the sunlight. "All I can tell you is that I'll talk to him. I'll tell him that you're all right, and that you're in my care now. There's a possibility that he'll take that the wrong way, but that's his problem."
Rikku took a moment to absorb what he was saying, and then her cheeks were pricked by a blush she couldn't control. "You mean, um. He'll think we're, um, uh, heh-heh..."
"Lovers. Probably, yes. I will do my best to assure him to the contrary. Don't worry."
Rikku nodded, and gave a pale smile. "Gotcha." And yet, she thought inwardly as she stared at her teacup, it's a shame that he can't tell Tidus that. It would be so nice to be loved by a man like this. A good man. One without issues to clean up.
Unfortunately for Rikku, Auron was entirely serious. He finished the coffee in his mug, got up and walked to his room, and she could hear the faint static hiss of a shower from her seat. She had only just finished her tea and gotten a few slices of bread toasted for breakfast when he walked out, fully-dressed, his long hair wet but already tied back. It wasn't even eight yet. "He's not going to be awake this early, you know. He sleeps in."
Auron shook his head, walking into the kitchen to retrieve the rest of his coffee and pour it into a large white insulated mug that said "nog" or "No9" on the side in weird script. It was nearly big enough to hang on his belt, for goodness sakes. "He's awake. I doubt he slept last night."
"What are you, psychic or something?" Rikku drummed her fingers on the kitchen counter, watched the man sip scalding hot black coffee, and had to shake her head. Weird guy.
"When it comes to him, sometimes. Call it intuition, call it knowing the boy well enough to predict his movements, but we have a connection. I know where he'll be. I know when I need to go to him. I know when I need to hit him a few times so that he'll sober up and become himself again. There's a darkness in Tidus. He's in control of his actions some of the time, but when that darkness appears, well." Auron pointed to the back of his head, where Rikku's cut was, then wrapped both hands around his mug and took a sip. "You know this as well as I. When it happens, he's not Tidus anymore."
Rikku winced and nodded, nibbling in tiny mouse bites on her toast. "You think he's, what, schizophrenic or something? I mean, cause, you're right and all. I've noticed that too. His voice even changes."
"It's not schizophrenia, or multiple personality disorder. Nothing like that. He's fully conscious of the change. He just taps into a portion of himself that doesn't care about the consequences of his actions. He causes it. The man who hurts you is Tidus Shuyi, just... another facet of him. One that isn't capable of love or regret. And since he can have no regrets in that state, he can feel no pain." Auron sighed, and grabbed his wallet from the counter to stick it into his trenchcoat. "Did he ever tell you why he does it?"
"No. Something about his dad, that's all he'll ever say. Then he'd get really quiet and leave or make threats, so I never really tried asking." It was almost embarassing to admit this, the way it was embarassing to admit that she stayed with him after he hit her the first few times. Like she had no will of her own. Rikku worried what Auron must think of her now.
"I would have assumed as much," he said, but of course he wasn't referring to any fault on Rikku's part. "It does have something to do with his father, yes. I would explain it further, but I choose not to reveal the secrets of others. I'm sorry, I hope you understand."
Rikku shrugged. "No, it's okay. I mean, I'd like to know, but it would maybe be better if I didn't have any more to think about when it comes to him. I just kind of want to get away from him as anything other than a bandmate. Can we talk about other stuff, from here on out?"
Auron grunted, and nodded. That damn sexy grunt of his. "A wise choice," he said, and grabbed his keys. Rikku started nibbling on her toast again while he hunted for a bag to carry her things in, to hide the fact that she'd be staring at him otherwise. "I should be back shortly. Are you certain there's nothing in particular that you need?"
"Just... come back soon? I don't want to be here alone."
He gave a little half-bow, locked the door, and left.
"Understand what you need to do, and you may survive."
Tidus Shuyi was currently not a happy celebrity. His head ached, his eyes were dry, and he was nauseous from all the asprin he'd taken on an empty stomach, to try and get rid of the pounding in his skull. The night before, he'd bashed his head against the wall, unknowingly hurting himself in the exact same spot that Rikku had been hurt, until he'd almost passed out from the shock. "Way to go, Shuyi. Do something stupid, and you nearly give yourself a concussion," he grumbled, as he fished through the fridge for some cold cuts to make a sandwich. Anything to stop the twisting inside his gut. Then, the doorbell rang, and he dropped a slice of cheese on the kitchen floor, grabbing his temples. Too damn loud.
"Just a minute," he called, trying to ignore pain caused by the sound of his own voice. He threw away the cheese and closed the fridge, promising his roiling stomach food as soon as he'd gotten rid of whomever it was. It couldn't have been Rikku, since she'd have just come in without ringing the doorbell. And he didn't think he'd forgotten to pay the rent. Not that it mattered, since he could cover late bill fees anyway.
"Do what you need to do, and you will succeed."
But as he opened the door and saw who it was, he froze, and started to back slowly away. Auron was standing with a black garbage bag in one hand and, backlit by the risen sun, he looked awesome and fear-inspiring. "Auron... oh, god, I... what are you doing here?" His voice squeaked on the last word, and he grabbed at his head again, cringing in pain from the sound.
Luckily, Auron's bass voice was usually low and soothing, and apparently, he wasn't in a yelling mood. "I came to collect some things. Are you all right?"
Tidus sighed and backed away from the door to let the man in, closing it behind him. "No. I had a fight with Rikku last night, and I did something stupid. Again. She's left me for good this time, old man. I'm an idiot."
"I know," said Auron, walking into the living room. He paused near the computer desk to stare down at the small bloodstain, and for a moment, his face contorted with rage. But he collected himself too quickly for Tidus to really notice the expression.
"Wait," said Tidus, "You know I'm an idiot, or you know Rikku left me?"
"Both." Auron looked up at the boy and tilted his head forward, so that Tidus could see the eye behind the sunglasses. "I saw her walking down your street last night, and I brought her home with me. She's eating breakfast right now. I've come to take her belongings back to her."
"Forget what you need to do, and you will die an empty death."
Tidus went very still, and very quiet, as the news sank in. Auron began to peer around the room, picking up things that were obviously feminine, things he'd possibly noticed Rikku wearing or using before during practices. He took her sheet music, the coat she'd hung on a chair, a few of her books, her green schoolbag that was full of knitting supplies. A clawed glove, her weapon of choice for getting through fiends whenever she traveled outside of Luca. A bikini she'd left hanging in the bathroom to dry after a swim. Toiletries and feminine products in the bathroom cabinet. As Auron started looking around the couple's bedroom, Tidus seemingly came to his senses and followed the older man in, helping by pulling open certain drawers and piling things from a closet onto the bed. They didn't speak as they worked, slowly moving about the room, stripping it of its Rikku-like essence. A poster came off the wall, a cactuar and a cait sith fell from a bookshelf into the bag. Tidus pulled one of Rikku's traveling cases from the closet and filled it with folded clothes. They brought everything outside and stuffed it into the black Coeurl, then walked back in. Tidus made himself sandwiches, and Auron sipped from his coffee mug. They sat together on the couch. Tidus was the first to speak. He hadn't touched his food.
"She all right?"
Auron nodded, sipped his coffee. "She's fine. Physically. I disinfected the cut, and it turned out to be fairly shallow. The bruises on her neck should fade in a few days. She was... emotional, for a time. She's better now. She let out what she needed to. She can't stand to think of you, though, and there are times when she fears me. It shows in her eyes. You've made her skittish, boy, like a wounded animal. But she's resiliant. She will heal, in time. I'll help her as much as I'm able." Another sip of coffee.
Tidus nodded, and took a bite of his sandwich. As soon as he knew she was all right, he felt a little better. Not any less guilty. That wouldn't go away until she forgave him, which he almost hoped wouldn't happen. Then he wouldn't feel like he could do something like that again. As long as she kept a wall between them. But where she was now, she was still scared. Was there a wall like that between her and Auron? And why was she scared of the old man? Unless... "Where is she sleeping? With you?"
Auron paused, as if to contemplate what answer to give. But Tidus knew his secrets. "Scott's room," he replied.
The younger man nodded, and gave Auron a moment of peace to recover after the confession. Saying his dead son's name had always been a difficult matter with Auron, and Tidus generally tried his best not to bring up the delicate subject. Then came the question Auron had been expecting. "So you're not together?"
"No, we aren't." Flatly, simply, negative.
"That's too bad. She's pretty, Auron. She's beautiful." Tidus sighed and slumped forward, burying his face in his hands. "I do love her, you know. Just... not enough, I guess. Not enough to change. I'm such a fucktard."
Auron couldn't disagree with that. The boy was taking this better than he'd expected. But something was up. He could see it, in the way Tidus kept sneaking glances at him. He could hear it in the lilt of Tidus's voice. "What are you thinking, boy?"
"You need to kill me."
Tidus grinned and stared at his food, head tilted down so that a sheet of golden-dyed hair fell in front of his eyes. He poked a finger into his sandwich, then traced the hole he'd made in the bread. Tapped the plate with his nail. "You should be together. With her. She's beautiful. She needs someone, deserves someone better than me."
"You need to kill the piece of me inside of you."
More than anything that had happened so far, more than the bizarre facts of the whole situation, that threw Auron for a loop. If he had not been more in control of himself, he would have sputtered, or at least spit his coffee out in surprise. As it was, he just lowered the mug into his lap, held it with both hands. Took a slow breath. "You do realize that you just suggested that a thirty-seven-year-old man should sleep with a fifteen-year-old girl. I was married I had a two-year-old son, when she was born. What are you thinking, boy?"
Tidus shrugged, still keeping his hair between his face and Auron's good eye. "I'm thinking that she needs someone she can trust. Who can take care of her. I'm thinking that she's older than her age, partially because of all I've done to her. I'm also thinking that you need a woman in your life. It's been ten years since Sheila and Scott died, Auron. Sure there's an age gap, but the maturity's there. She's legal, according to Al Bhed laws."
"Not according to the rest of Spira."
"Holy chokoshit, old man!" Tidus yelled, throwing his hands up, "You're immune to most of Spira's laws! You're the only living researcher of the Calm. You're a major record producer. You're even remembered by a lot of people for being a warrior monk samauri dude before all that and fighting fiends with the best of them, I mean come on!"
Auron grunted and stood, mug in one hand and keys in the other. "I'm not going to listen to this. Your logic is unquestionably one-sided, and I don't see a reason to even consider what you're suggesting. Good day."
But as the older man started to leave, Tidus's voice deepened, and what he said stopped Auron in his tracks. "Then I'll just have to find some way to get her back myself, won't I?"
"She wouldn't come back to you," Auron responded. But his voice was quiet, dangerous, and he was standing with potential energy in his stance. "So why would you say that?"
"Because if she's no one else's, then she is mine. She's the kind of girl who needs a man. And she'll want one until she's claimed." Tidus Shuyi stood, setting his plate down on the couch. The tension was palpable. "Wouldn't you agree?"
"I suppose if that's how you see it," Auron responded, turning around to stare into Tidus Shuyi's eyes, "that's your perogative. But I don't believe she needs to be 'claimed' just yet. However, if you're threatening to harrass a person in my care, then I will have to take drastic action."
"I thought I was in your care," Tidus shot back, eyes narrowed. He always did that when he fought with Auron, since it was an action the older man couldn't copy.
"You are. Which is why I've kept you from killing yourself. And which is why I'm going to prevent you from hurting this girl again, if only to keep you from hurting yourself by hurting her." But Tidus didn't budge. They stood that way for several moments, each waiting for the other to back down.
Finally, Tidus came back to himself and put his hands on his face, sighing. Auron's shoulders relaxed, but he didn't leave the boy yet. There was still more to say, and Tidus said it. "I don't want Yuna to know. About all this. Not yet."
"She will not."
"Oh come off it, old man, she'll figure it out. When she calls here for her cousin, and finds out Rikku's at your place? When she sees the bruises on Rikku's neck at practice tonight? She'll want to know why. We can't keep this hidden from her for long, not without some kind of explanation."
The boy made sense, but becoming a child's lover was not the kind of excuse Auron wanted to have to give. "Rikku can wear a scarf. And we'll just tell Yuna that she broke up with you and moved out. She doesn't need to know it's my apartment, and I simply won't answer the phone." A pause. "No, that sounds foolish even to me. Fine. We'll propogate the rumor that she left you for me. But I will not bed a child."
Tidus raised an eyebrow and folded his arms, with a little half-grin plastered to his face. "Good enough for me. But it'll be pretty hard to pretend to be lovers without doin' it, a couple of high-profile people like you. Sure you don't want to get a little nookie out of the deal? She's really good in the sack. And I mean really good, once she sets her mind to it."
Auron closed his eye and shook his head, giving a little laugh-grunt at the idea. "It's like you're trying to pimp her out. Or find a good home for a dog." Tidus, Auron noted with appreciation, shifted a bit at the idea.
"It's not that. She's not a dog or a whore or anything. But she needs love, she deserves it. So do you. I've been thinking about this for a while, actually. When I'm, you know," he scratched his head, bending his gaze to the ground, "okay. What I'm saying is, I think that you two would be good for each other. And maybe, even if you just start pretending to be lovers. Maybe you'll be happier together. That's all. That's all I'm saying." Tidus blew out a puff of air, and looked up at his guardian one last time. "Thanks for telling me she's okay. Tell her I am, too. And... for what it's worth, I'm sorry. She's your girl now, Auron, even if you don't acknowledge it. Take care of her."
"Find a way to break the cycle."
With that, the conversation ended, and Auron took his leave. The situation had become even more peculiar than he'd imagined. Now, not only did he have two young people to look after, he was supposed to carry on a fake romance with one. What was Spira coming to?
