Cold Air Hellos and Goodbyes – Chapter Four
THANKS: To Amber again, for the song, and also to Nicholas Evans, for writing The Horse Whisperer.
She stepped into the house just as the air was getting cold and the sun was disappearing- a sure sign she was late- and called out her greetings. They sounded out and came back to her, bouncing against the walls like stones. "Hullo?" she said again, this time louder, and was met with an even stronger silence.
She moved into the kitchen, all those years of watching too many horror movies catching up with her and making her afraid to look, and saw a note on the table:
"Karen,
Took the kids out to a movie while you were gone.
Be back around 7.
Love,
Harry."
She smiled a little, mostly relieved to find that they were all okay, and set her bag on the table. The darkness of the house made her feel uneasy, so she turned on the lights in all the rooms, grinning as she disobeyed her own rule. She checked the clock, seeing that it was nearly seven now, and turned on the television. The BBC was showing old episodes of Are You Being Served? so she sat down on the sofa with a Diet Coke and a carrot and watched.
About thirty minutes later, after she was nearly driven crazy with loneliness, she heard the car pull into the driveway and gave a little sigh of thankfulness. She wondered at how one day she could be so frustrated with the children that she wanted to hide under the bed, but the next day she was dying without them. Then again, maybe it wasn't the kids she wanted to see so badly.
Daisy walked in first, her head turned behind her so she could listen to what Bernard was telling her. It sounded like they were quoting the movie they had just seen, and Karen grinned, if only because she was happy to see them getting along. Harry trailed behind them, also grinning, carrying three huge shopping bags in his arms.
"Hey mom!" Daisy practically screamed, lunging at her with a death-grip hug. "We watched the greatest movie ever!" Karen threw a comically terrified look at Harry while Bernard dived onto the couch and began jumping on it.
"Ack!" Harry half-yelled in his best Scottish accent. "Me lady, they're takin' over the ship!" She laughed and kissed him on the cheek, noticing how he smelled like buttered popcorn, and lingered there for a few more seconds than was necessary. The air around him was as happy as his eyes looked, and for a moment she found it easy to pretend nothing bad had ever happened between them. He looked her in the eye and she thought she saw something flicker there along with the happiness, something deeper and having to do with just her. But Bernard interrupted their moment by practically grabbing her shoulder and shoving one of the large shopping bags into her hands.
"What's this, then?" she asked, and stole a glance at Harry. He just smiled, taking it from her.
"Not now, Bernard," he said, and give his son a serious look.
"Dad bought you something at the store, but he won't tell us what it is!" Daisy cried, jumping on the couch now, too.
Karen shot a look at Harry and felt her inside constricting. Not another peace offering. Not another box of chocolates or bottle of perfume he thought would make her forgive him. Not when everything had been going so well without him trying this hard to buy her love. He turned away from her, probably after seeing the fear spring up in her eyes, and started to climb the stairs. "I'm just going to put this away," he said quietly, almost embarrassed. "It's for another time."
They spent most of the night nestled in silence, this time for the most part comfortable, while the children played video games and tried to shove each other off the desk chair. Karen had known they couldn't get along for too extended a period of time, and wasn't surprised at their fighting. She did, however, send them to bed early.
She walked down the stairs and sat beside Harry on the couch. The West Wing was on TV, the low, tinny sound of it out of place in the otherwise complete silence of the house. "Did you have a good time with the kids tonight?" she asked him as soon as a commercial popped up, pulling a thread from the sofa's material.
"Yeah, sure, of course," he said genuinely, turning to look at her. "Sorry for leaving you all alone, but I didn't know when you'd be back from your book club and the kids were getting restless." The words 'book club' confused her for a second before she realized that's what she'd told Harry she was doing when she was really at the gym. She shook her head to tell him it was fine. He rose, moving toward the stairs. "I'll be back in a sec," he said, racing away before she could tell him to stop.
She was dreading the present, which she knew he was off to get. She didn't want him showing his love for her in the same way he'd shown his attraction for Mia - through material gifts. It all seemed too parallel to her and almost insulting, and it hurt her that he didn't realize it himself.
He came bounding down with the bag, setting it beside her. "I feel sort of silly now that the kids made a big deal out of it. It's not even really a gift, just something I knew you needed..." He trailed off, his eyes on the bag, and she knew she had to open it.
So she did, and inside there was a pair of brand new Nike running shoes. Baffled, she looked up at him with an expression that must have said something close to 'you're crazy', because he immediately looked regretful.
"I'm sorry," he said quickly, picking up the bag. "It's just, I noticed the ones you wore to the gym were sort of... well... worn out, and I saw these and thought they'd be useful. Of course you could have just bought them yourselves, but-"
"How did you know?" she asked him, her voice quiet. She was staring at the shoes, completely baffled, but happy at the same time.
He smiled, obviously relieved that she wasn't mad, and spoke in a very calm, low voice, "Well, I knew something was different about you. You looked different. And you... well, you looked at yourself different. Once I saw your runners in a different place I just put two and two together..."
At first she didn't believe him. Maybe he'd seen her there once, through the window, and had decided not to tell her he knew. But one look into that face, so happy that she was happy, and she knew he was telling the truth. He just knew her. How bizarre that he could just tell the difference. She wasn't at all sad that her secret had been uncovered, only felt thankful that had surprised her in this way. She hugged him tightly and told him thank you, then went to bed happier than she'd felt all week.
The next day, as she worked out in her brand new shoes, she saw David from across the room and her chest tightened. For a while she just stared at him while she lifted the dumbbells, but when he started to come over she quickly looked away.
"Karen!" he practically shouted, standing so close to her she could smell his sweat. "I'm so glad to see you here, you look great!"
She grinned childishly, thanking him, and waited for him to speak again. He moved in closer to her and reached in front of her to take the dumb bell from her hand. "Eight pounder, not bad. Next week you should move up to ten, you'll feel it more here." He pressed on her bicep and grinned again, and she hoped he didn't notice her goosebumps. "Great work, Karen."
Gosh, he was gorgeous. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. He touched her back lightly as he walked away, and she could swear she saw him glancing back at her before walking into his office and shutting the door behind him.
