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The Empire Strikes Back: Anime Style!

Chapter One

There is chaos in the galaxy. After their victory on Planet Lemon, The Rebellion retreated to deep space to gather their forces for a final assault on Emperor Naraku's fleets, but Darth Kaiba was one step ahead of them…

Transition

The Millennium Puzzle flew through space, dodging laser fire and asteroids. Darth Kaiba's Super Duper Star Ship- or the SDSS- bore down upon them like a great hammer upon a nail.

"What am I even doing on this ship with you?" Kagome asked Inu-yasha as he and Shippo steered and fired.

"Don't you remember, your ship left without you," Inu-yasha replied. "Now don't bother me! I'm driving."

"We're heading into that asteroid field!" screamed Sang-3PO. She covered her eyes, "The one time I need that stupid domed brat, and he's gone half across the galaxy!"

"I don't know what's so great about Planet Fuji, anyways," Shippo said, "It's all just swamp land and volcanic mountains."

"Will you all be quiet! All this yaking's gonna get us killed!" Inu-yasha yelled.

"Watch out for the asteroid!" Kagome and Sang-3PO both screamed as they sped right towards a huge rock.

"That's the whole idea," Inu-yasha said, "We'll go right through it."

"How are you going to do that?" Kagome asked as they flew closer.

"We'll drill a hole," Inu-yasha said, punching a big green button. A huge laser came out of the Puzzle, and shot a triangular shaped hole into the asteroid, letting them escape.

Transition

"WATCH OUT!" Screamed Darth Kaiba as Commander Tristan hit the brakes on the SDSS, stopping inches away from the asteroid that the Rebels had just drilled through.

"You idiots! You let them get away!" Kaiba yelled.

"Blame the guy steering," Tristan said. "I.E. you!"

"That's it, I'm going to Ludicrous Speed, right now." Kaiba said.

"NO!" the crew cried. Tristan, Hiten, Manten, and Ayumi all grabbed Kaiba's arms and held him away form the switch.

"What are you doing?" Kaiba demanded.

"Ludicrous Speed doesn't work," Tristan said, "Trust me, we tried it already."

"Then what do you suggest?" Darth Kaiba asked.

"Hmmm," Tristan said, stroking his chin. "How about we ask some bounty hunters for help? I happen to know a couple."

"Fine, just make sure they're good at what they do. I don't want this job messed up like last time."

"Then allow me," Tristan said, taking the steering controls and turning around.

Transition

Meanwhile, Yugi and Moku-D2 have flown to the Planet Fuji, in hopes of meeting the Jedi Game Master, Yami.

"This is it," little Yugi said as he landed his space fighter on the swampy, volcano ridden planet.

"Looks like a dump," Moku-D2 said.

"Well, maybe it's just a great training place," Yugi said as he opened the hatch and jumped out. Then, Moku-D2 was lowered out of the droid pod, and rolled along after Yugi, getting mud and leaves stuck in his wheels.

"This is gross!" said Moku-D2 after they hiked through the muck for several hours.

"Sang-3PO was right, you do complain," Yugi said. "But my feet are killing me. Time for a rest and some lunch." He sat on a fallen log and got out his chopsticks and box lunch, and started chowing down.

"Are you this guy is here?" Moku-D2 asked.

"Course," Yugi answered, "Master Higurashi's spirit wouldn't send me to a place like this unless it was really important… Then again he did like playing jokes on people… Darn it, if he's trying to prank me form beyond the grave, I'll kill him!"

"This is eerie, Yugi," Moku-D2 said, "I feel like we're being watched.

"Are you, now?" asked a deep voice out of nowhere.

Yugi jumped up and got out his light saber, yelling "Who's there?" and then he clumsily dropped it into the muck. As he scrambled to find it, a ghostly hand placed itself on his shoulder.

"ARGHHHHH!" Yugi screamed, jumping ten feet in the air and then clinging to Moku-D2.

"Do not be afraid," said the hooded spirit, "I am Yami, the Game Master."

"You?" Yugi asked. "You're the guy Master Higurashi sent me to find?"

"Yes."

"No offense, but aren't you kinda dead?"

"My spirit dwells here, on Fuji, where many come seeking my eternal wisdom and knowledge."

"Wow," Yugi said. "So you like know the secrets of the Universe?"

"Yes," Yami replied.

"Ok then, I have a question: Why do hot dogs come in packages of ten, but hot dogs come in packages of eight?"

Yami was silent. "I uh… I don't know. That's a pretty good one. Never in all my years have I been stumped by one so small."

"I'm not small!" Yugi said. "I'm vertically challenged."

"Either way, you have my respect. Now, you must the right to be called 'Jedi', for only a fully trained Jedi game master can defeat Darth Kaiba and his henchmen."

"Okay, but I have another question. Master Higurashi didn't like games, so how come you have to be good at them to be a Jedi?"

"Master Higurashi was brash and foolish. Besides, the only game he could win was checkers." Yami answered.

"That's a lie!" yelled Master Higurahi's spirit. "Oh how sad am I to be abused my own teacher, even in death!"

"This is going to be a long week," Moku-D2 said as he and Yugi watched the two disembodied spirits argue.

Transition

Aboard the SDSS Darth Kaiba interviewed the small band of bounty hunters that he been assembled before him.

"Lord Kaiba may I present to you the bounty hunter Sesshomaru and his team." Commander Tristan said. "This is our master so you four show some respect." He addressed the bounty hunters.

"Of course." Sesshomaru replied and bowed with a flutter of his cloak.

"Hmm. A curious quartet." Darth Kaiba remarked. "Do they have any experience?"

"My men are the best bounty hunters in the universe." Sesshomaru stated.

"Good because your prey will not be easy to catch. These Rebels are slippery and very hard to stamp out of hiding." Darth Kaiba informed them all. "Here are the conditions and make no mistakes because I am not as forgiving as you might have heard. I only want the Princess and Captain Inu-yasha for a short time. Long enough to lure young Yugi Mutou into my clutches so that I can destroy him. Once I have Yugi, you can take Captain Inu-yasha to Jaken the Hutt if you wish. I hear he's put a pretty hefty bounty on the han-you's head as well."

"And what about the Princess, the droid, and the fox?" Sesshomaru asked. "They are little good to me."

"Leave them to me, only catch them, and no disintegrations. Got it?"

"Indeed." Sesshomaru replied.

Transition

The Millennium Puzzle came out of the asteroid field pursued by an imperial star ship.

"Well, finally some open space." Inu-yasha said.

"Yeah but now what do we do, we're going to be caught!" Kagome said.

"Not once I do this." Inu-yasha said as he engaged the hyper drive. The Millennium Puzzle's engines began to roar then they sputtered, then nothing…

"Once you do what now?" Kagome asked.

"Patience princess, I've got it." Inu-yasha said climbing back down into the engine room. "Just give me one more moment." As Inu-yasha worked frantically to fix the hyper drive, the Imperial starship fired it's guns.

"We'll be destroyed!" Sang-3PO cried.

"I'm going to die virgin!" Kagome wept, "I'll never get married, never have kids, and I'll never get to be with a man.

"Now just hold on to yourself princess, you're not going to die, you hear me!" Inu-yasha shouted at her. "Now listen here, we're getting out of here right now." He said getting back into the pilot's seat. "Punch it!" He ordered Shippo.

"Uh, sure." the kitsune said and pressed the button. No hyper speed again…

"You got to be kidding me." Inu-yasha sighed. "Okay, angle the deflector shield and bring us about."

"Your not going to attack them are you?" Sang-3PO asked.

"I'm going to accelerate and fly down their throats." Inu-yasha said and ran back to man the laser cannons.

"This is crazy." Shippo said taking the controls. "What do we do if we're hit?"

"Don't worry about that just do as I say and be ready to engage the docking clamps when I say so." Inu-yasha said as he charged his guns up for a fight.

Transition

"They're moving into attack position." Remarked the captain of the Imperial Starship. "Prepare the main deflector shield and stand by." Just as he ordered it, the Millennium Puzzle flew by firing it's main guns. This did little damage to the star ship but it did distract them long enough for Inu-yasha to pull another rabbit out of his hat. "Track them, they may come around for another pass!" The captain commanded.

"Captain the ship no longer appears on our scopes." Said a Lieutenant.
"What, they can't have disappeared. No ship could just vanish without a trace."

"Well it appears as if they have." The Lieutenant said. "Shall I contact Lord Kiaba?"

"No, I'll do that myself, and try to explain." The Captain said.

Transition

"I can't believe that this is actually working." Sang-3PO said as she sat down to oil her joints. "I mean hiding on the back of an Imperial star ship is outrageous enough but in plain view of the mess hall?

"Relax, we're fine." Inu-yasha said as he slurped up some noodles. "You know I don't understand how you all can just complain, complain, complain. Mmm. Just grab a pack of Ramen and set back while the Empire does the driving."

"Yeah but who knows where we'll end up. We're supposed to be rendezvousing with the rest of the Resistance not joyriding through space." Kagome argued.

"Well at the moment your worship, my ship's kind of busted, so what do you propose we do? We can't go to any lagit ports and we haven't got enough fuel to make to the rendezvous without going to hyper speed." Inu-yasha reminded her. "Besides they'd pick us up as soon as we dislodged from the hull anyway."

"We'd be able to get into a good port if we didn't have these prices of our heads." Shippo remarked. Inu-yasha turned around and smashed him on the head.

"Don't you treat him that way." Kagome said picking little Shippo up. "He's a free individual and entitled to his opinion."

"Don't talk to me about your ideals sweetheart, I've known what it's like to be a slave. These beads around my neck are proof enough of that. I know what we're fighting for and I'm all for that, but don't ever think that I'm going to just stand around and be bad mouthed by my own crew!"

"Sit boy." Kagome said. Flash, wham. Inu-yasha was eating floor.

"Geeze Kagome, what did you have to go and do that for?" Shippo asked.

"Cause I like him." She teased. " Come on now Inu-yasha, there's got to be something we can do." Kagome said helping him up.

"Well, for starters we could go in the back and fool around."

"Don't push it Captain, I'll…"

"Okay, okay, I was only goofing. Now unless I miss my guess, the Imperial Star ships always dump their garbage at the bottom half of the every third hour so in about five minutes, we just disslodge ourselves and float away with the rest of the junk. Once they go to hyper speed, we can go find us a safe place to land for repairs." Inu-yasha said.

"That's a clever plan, where'd you come up with it?" Kagome asked.

"I saw it on this old movie once." Inu-yasha replied.

Authors' Note: Please Review!