Disclaimer: Gnihton nwo llits I (Even backwards I still own nothing is sad.)
Chapter 7 Everybody has a Laughing Place
Everybody's
got a laughing place
A laughing place to go
Take a frown, turn
it upside down
And you'll find yours we know
Song of the South "Everybody has a Laughing Place"
The rest of the month passed in a blur for Alexis. She stayed up late reading everything she could about Transfigurations, Charms, Herbology and Potions. Thankfully she had taken Astronomy in college so that was fairly easy. History of Magic was mainly reading the textbooks.
Alexis discovered that she still retained the ability to quickly read and absorb a book: although the concepts were sometimes so different she had a hard time wrapping her brain around them, she managed to muddle through somehow.
Her Achilles' heel seemed to be the actual performance of the spells, charms and transfigurations. Although even though she thought she had the theory down, the actual application of the spells always seemed much harder for her to master.
Professor Flitwick had to order a new supply of feathers because Alexis had managed to burn, mangle, explode or in some other manner destroy what he had on hand. Professor McGonagall had given up, for the time being, on trying to teach her to transfigure toothpicks into straight pins and had started her on something even more basic: safety pins into straight pins. Minerva had really told her off one time when she caught Alexis trying to manually straighten the safety pins. Alexis had hoped that it would give her a little oomph if the pins were already straight when she tried to transform them. All it had accomplished was that McGonagall gave her a thirty minute lecture on why it would not have worked and assigned her three feet of parchment on the correct way to transfigure pins.
Alexis approached potion making the same way she approached cooking. She had loved to cook although she had been a bit hit and miss at it. It might have even worked for her if she had been the type of cook that meticulously followed the recipe. However, alas, she tended to cook by instinct and experimentation. Throwing in a pinch of this and a dash of that: substituting this ingredient for another one that she actually had. It took awhile for her to accept that she could not make potions in the same way as she had cooked. In fact, after she had managed to melt one cauldron, turn another cauldron and the potion it contained into solid lead, (Snape was still trying to figure out how she had managed that) and finally make the cauldron, potion, and desk she was working on all disappear; Snape had taken away her potions books, new cauldron and all her potions supplies and would only allow her to watch him prepare the potions.
Alexis still wasn't sure what to think about Snape. He never mentioned her reaction to meeting Lucius Malfoy. Every morning he would escort her to breakfast and quiz her on potions. After breakfast he would make sure she knew how to get to where she was supposed to be that day and then head off to the dungeons. On the days of her potions lessons, he would wait for her and they would walk down to the dungeons together. If he surfaced from the dungeons for lunch they would sit together; but, more often than not she would end up eating with the other staff. Snape always managed to arrive for dinner before Alexis, which put the decision of where to sit firmly in her lap. So far, she had sat next to him every night.
After dinner, they would continue their conversation and then Snape would escort her back to her rooms. Alexis discovered that Snape had a very dry sense of humor that bordered on wicked. She quickly found that Snape had no compunction about crossing the border every now and then. Especially when he thought he could get away with it. He would make outrageous statements just to see her reaction. Because his face was impossible to read Alexis had a difficult time knowing when he was serious or just stringing her along. At one point he had her convinced that Hagrid had a crush on her.
She did find a way to get him back for that one. Alexis had realized that Hagrid saw her as still one of the students and no more had a crush on her then he had one on Snape. However, the opportunity was too good to pass up when she happened to walk into dinner with Hagrid one evening. She noticed Snape watching her and Hagrid with a smirk on his thin lips. Making the most of the opportunity, she placed her hand on Hagrid's arm and flashed him a dazzling smile as she stretched as tall as she could, barely managing to reach his elbow, and appeared to murmur an intimate something to him. In reality she had just thanked him again for the tour of the grounds he had given her earlier that week. Still watching Snape Alexis noticed that his smirk had melted from his face and it was now void of all expression.
After dinner they retired to their usual corner to converse. Noticing that they were the only ones still in the staff room other than Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore. Alexis bumped her plan up to the next level and looked at Snape with a shy smile. "You know, I think you may be right about Hagrid and his feelings for me." She lowered her eyes and watched Snape through the veil of her lashes, "I'm thinking about asking him if he would like to join me for a drink at The Three Broomsticks." Snape's eyes had widened slightly and Alexis continued, "Hagrid is what every woman wants after all."
Snape choked on his after dinner coffee.
"Tall, dark, and handsome," Alexis said in a dreamy tone, having a hard time keeping a straight face as Snape's look changed to horrified disbelief.
Putting on her best look of mindless, infatuation, Alexis looked at Snape she sighed, "Mrs. Rubeus Hagrid. Doesn't that sound absolutely divine? Do you think we should have one or two children? Hagrid Junior and maybe a little girl with Hagrid's dark good looks and my eyes."
Snape was trying to form words, "Don't you think… slow down… a little too fast… children?"
Alexis decided it was time to lay it on thick, with sincerity oozing out of every syllable, "We will probably ask Professor Dumbledore to officiate. Since you are the closest person I have to a father figure, will you give me away at the wedding?"
"FATHER FIGURE!" Snape bellowed lunging to his feet in disbelief.
Snape noticed the disapproving look on Professor McGonagall's face and the amused one on Professor Dumbledore's.
Taking Alexis' hand he pulled her from her seat and with a 'helping' hand at her elbow escorted her to the door. He didn't notice Alexis winking at Professor Dumbledore nor the restraining hand Dumbledore placed on Professor McGonagall to keep her from rushing to Alexis' rescue.
"Are we in a hurry?" Alexis questioned Snape as he practically carried her down the hall.
Snape looked down at her and the expression on his face was such that Alexis chose discretion as the better part of valor and shut up.
When they arrived at her rooms the Lilac Girl took one look at Snape's face and at Alexis' wink just swung open to let them in. Snape almost flung Alexis at one of the armchairs and with angry strides paced in front of her shouting, "FATHER FIGURE? You think of me as a father? Surely I am not that much older than you? Have I acted in a fatherly manner? Just what do you mean by father figure?"
Snape was astounded to see that Alexis had her head down with both hands covering her face and her shoulders were shaking uncontrollably. I've scared the poor girl to tears. Snape wasn't sure what to do. Usually he just sneered when he brought someone to tears. But Alexis was different, although he didn't want to think about why he felt she was different. He stopped in front of her and offered her his linen handkerchief, "Here, dry your eyes."
Alexis took the handkerchief and looking up at him wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes. Snape just stared as he realized that he had been had.
"I really thought when I started talking about Hagrid Junior and a 'little' girl that you would catch on," Snape could barely understand what Alexis was saying for the laughter. "And the look on your face when I asked you to give me away at the wedding." Alexis went off into peals of laughter.
Snape took the seat across from her and watched her with hooded eyes.
Alexis finally regained control of herself although she was still dabbing at the tears in her eyes, "I would apologize…"
"But you would not really mean it," Snape finished for her dryly.
"Nope, not in the least. Serves you right for making me believe that Hagrid had a crush on me."
Snape smirked, "The look on your face was priceless."
"I'm sure it was. But I couldn't be around Hagrid without thinking about that and trying hard not to encourage him in any way. It was horrid. I'm sure he must think I'm absolutely the vainest person in the world or just plain strange. I was trying to figure out a way to let him down gently," Snape's smirk became even more pronounced, "when it finally hit me that you are a git and I, a gullible fool."
"So you don't think of me as a father figure." Snape stated.
"If I did I would be a very disturbed individual," Alexis muttered.
Snape could not believe what he thought he had heard, "I'm sorry I didn't catch that."
"No, I don't think of you as a father figure. A favorite uncle maybe but definitely not a father figure."
At Snape's indignant look, Alexis started laughing again.
"If you have finished abusing me for the night, you have studying to do and I must be on my way," Snape was very much on his dignity as he rose.
Alexis managed to stifle the laughter but her eyes were dancing with suppressed mirth and there was a big grin on her face as she got up to escort Snape to the door.
The portrait swung open and Snape stepped into the corridor and turned back to wish Alexis a good night. Alexis had stopped on the top step leaving her almost on eye level with him. Without stopping to think about it, Snape leaned toward her and took her lips in a slow, soft kiss. Alexis felt the heat from his lips spreading from her lips, igniting an answering heat. She stepped closer to him wanting to feel his body against hers. When Alexis stepped into the kiss, Snape grew bolder and opening his mouth traced her bottom lip with his tongue, Alexis gasped at the sudden surge of heat that seemed to burn straight to her core. Snape took advantage of her parted lips and deepened the kiss; placing his hands on her hips he drew her close to him. He felt her arms come up to twine around his neck and her fingers combed through his hair. Alexis could feel the strength of his desire pressing into her stomach. His hands started a leisurely caress over her hips and up to just below her breasts which were aching for his touch.
Suddenly something bumped into him from behind almost knocking them both over, the Lilac Girl had interrupted them the only way she knew how to by starting to swing her painting closed. Breaking apart they could hear footsteps coming down the hall. Realizing he had almost ravished Alexis in the corridor, Snape gently nudged her back into her room and moved out of the way so the portrait could close.
Father figure my ass was his very satisfied thought as he headed to the dungeons and a cold shower.
