I watch you as you brush your long red hair. It dances with every stroke of the brush you take. It's like perfection almost. But not quite.
You see you've never liked me. And I know this. That's why I call you from across the class. That's why I ask you for the answers to the homework every day. Because I know you hate it. I know you can't stand it when I stare at you. I know you hate it when I tell you you're beautiful. But deep inside I know you love it. I know this about you. I can tell by the way you try and roll your eyes at me. And by the way you try and glare at me. I can just tell. I know you love it when I say your name. I know you smile inside when I stare at you. And that's ok.
No, I won't tease you about it. Well at least not until you admit it. Not until you admit the fact that you like me. That you've liked me ever since you've met me. That you can't live without me. That during the summers when we're apart you feel as if you are missing something. That we should be together forever.
But you won't admit it. You won't. Ever. For you are Lily Evans. You are Lily Evans who has everything at her feet. You are Lily Evans who is smart, sophisticated, mature. And I… I am James Potter. I have nothing to offer you. And I have nothing to give you. I am immature and childish and I know this. I know you will choose someone of your "status." A rich snooty boy who's parents bought his way through school. You will choose him for you think you two are right. But let me ask you something, will he make you laugh? Will he make you smile inside? Will he make you feel as if you are the only girl in the world for him?
Will I, you ask of me? Well, that is a silly question to ask, for I have already done all that. And as hesitantly as you will admit it, I have done much, much more.
I know this. You know this. Everyone knows this. Everyone says we should be together. Everyone thinks we are perfect together. But I know you, Lily Evans, I know you will not do what everyone wants. You will not think what everyone thinks. And I know you will not say what everyone says. That is what separates you from every other girl in the world. You stick out like a sore thumb on a hand with a million fingers. You love it too. But Lily Evans, while everyone is off having a happy time, and while you are locked up studying, what are you thinking about? Are you thinking about what it would be like to be like everyone else? To be having fun? To fit into the crowd? To have someone at your arm to care for you just like all the other girls?
I can do that, Lily Evans. And as much as you don't believe it now, I can.
There is no convincing you. For you are Lily Evans, a master debater. A good student. An honorable young woman. And I… I am James Potter. I am a master at deceiving. A dishonorable boy who is as wild as the hair that grows on his head. And your hair is combed straight, flawless, perfect. Mine, a mess of a rat's nest. With dirty clothes and an unwashed face.
And with my wrinkled pants bouncing with the taps of my foot, you watch me, imagining what it must be like to be care-free. To be just a tumble weed blowing in the wind. But you will never know. You will follow your family's precedent and marry wealthy while I will go out into the world blowing and tumbling in the wind.
Until one day you will come and ask me "if it wouldn't be too much of a bother," to let you join me. You say it properly and, laughing at you, I agree. And we will go blowing and tumbling into the wind without a care in the world. Without anything to stop us and for once you'll feel happy. You'll feel as if there is something to look forward too. And you will turn to me and smile and say a quiet, "Thanks," and I'll smile back at you and we will just keep on blowing and tumbling.
And no one will stop us. For you are Lily Evans, a free spirit. Whose life is like an abstract painting, lost without reason. And I… I am James Potter who has stains on his shirt. And who has been wearing the same socks for three days.
And once again we will fit together like umbrellas in the rain or pumpkins on Halloween. And for once we will both be happy. For once you will smile your "pearly whites" at me, your face lighting up with joy and we still go blowing and tumbling.
