Disclaimer: I do not own, or ever will, the Harry Potter Universe so wonderfully created by J K Rowling. Please do not sue; I highly doubt I could afford it. Thanks to all that reviewed, I am amazed at how many of you didn't give up on me. Thanks again!

Chapter 16: Getting To Know You, All of You

The next weeks were spent moving the majority of Hermione and Sidney's belongings to Snape Manor and settling in. Their routine had finally formalized and for once in months, Hermione felt perfectly safe. Not only were her children unaffected physically by the run in with the former Death Eaters at Wallace's grave, she felt secure in being at Snape Manor. The most difficult part of the entire ordeal was adjusting to the constant moodiness of Severus Snape. It was by no coincidence of nature that his initials had ass in them, but then again, she knew that it must be just as difficult for him to have a young child in the manor again. She hadn't ventured again to Wallace's grave, but hoped she could eventually go back and rededicate a tree in his honour, which was the wizarding custom. She'd received a letter from Willet, Wallace's mother, and was saddened to discover that her illness was progressing further as well. It seemed that no one in Hermione's life lived long enough.

When Sidney was one month old, Hermione invited (with Severus' permission, however forced) some friends and family to come and see her, as many hadn't since her birth. It was refreshing to see some of the faces again, though she understood that many felt quite uncomfortable at Snape Manor. Hermione and Sallie watched the others socialize, but eventually snuck off for a private chat.

"I can't believe it's already been a month." Sallie said, pouring herself another glass of pumpkin juice. She swallowed it quickly and sat next to Hermione near the window.

"She changes everyday. Each morning I look at her and see a subtle change, something slightly different than the previous day. Was it like that with Harrison?" Sallie laughed a bit and thought to Harrison's first months and how stressful they had been trying to raise him without Draco.

"He looked like Draco the moment he was born, but only gained a little of my traits. I wasn't able to care for him for the first week because I had such trouble giving birth, but when I saw him each day, he seemed different."

"Did Severus care for him?" Hermione asked, bringing her goblet to her lips and sipping the drink that reminded her so much of her youth, so much of Hogwarts.

"Yes, for the most part, he was a blessing to have around, even if a bit over-protective at times." Hermione took her chance to giggle and helped Sallie bring the remaining goblets to the sink before returning resolutely to her chair.

"He is a bit over-protective of Sidney too. Sometimes, if he thinks I'm not awake or maybe not looking, he checks in on her. I've caught him more lately." They looked out into the den where people were socializing and catching up on month's past, forgetting any stresses of the day and celebrating the continued life of Sidney. Hermione finally searched out Severus's eyes and locked with him briefly before moving her eyes to see Harry holding Sidney. She wondered if Harry would keep his word and search out the answer to his own marriage and not try to pressure Hermione into anything other than friendship. Harry walked slowly towards them and handed off the bundle.

"She looks more like you than before."

"Sometimes, but those eyes are certainly not mine." Hermione kissed Sidney's soft forehead and patted Harry's arm. Even though she had tried to forget his affections in her mind, it was a daunting task she wasn't sure would be completed soon enough. He walked to Susan without another word and embraced her, as a dutiful husband should. Veronica's tiny hand grasped Harry's.

"It's a month of marriage for you as well, Sallie, how is everything with Ron?" Hermione brought Sidney to her shoulder and rubbed her back concentrically.

"He's perfect." Sallie said sighing and finding Ron across the room.

"You aren't serious, right? Ron Weasley perfect, you must be delusional." Hermione thought of all the annoying habits Ron had and wondered if they just hadn't gotten out of the newlywed stage for them to appear.

"Well, he does smell like a man most of the time and he never picks up his socks. I find socks everywhere, yet never in the laundry. And his eating habits don't get me started on his poor behaviour and teaching Harrison to carry on conversations with food in his mouth. But, I love him and I guess that's just part of living with him." Sallie and Hermione decided to return to the gathering as their absence was finally being noticed.

"How long do you think you'll have to be here?" Hermione heard Susan ask her as she walked near them.

"Oh, I don't know, until I can safely leave I assume." Hermione returned politely, however she didn't particularly care for the tone in which Susan had said here.

"That's so indefinite, how can you stand the waiting?" Susan asked, rubbing her stomach lightly where baby James was growing. Hermione hadn't really ever talked much with Susan, aside from her loyalty to others, Hermione saw no other redeeming qualities about her.

"I don't mind. Severus has been quite kind." Hermione noticed immediately the scrunching of Susan Potters face as she said Severus. She wondered what the others in the room would say if they knew that she and Severus were beginning a sort of relationship, well it was more than friendship and less than marriage.

"He lets you call him that? I'm sorry, but I could never think of him as anything other than the Potions Master of our school days." Susan's glass was empty and before Hermione could comment, Harry grabbed the glass and left the two ladies alone. Immediately, words entered her brain that could rectify the image Susan harboured in her brain.

"He doesn't let me do anything, I chose to call him Severus. And I am sorry that your views cannot stretch past seventh year, but do sincerely hope that they someday will. Have a nice day, Susan." Hermione left Susan sitting, open-mouthed towards the place where Hermione had stood.

"You won't believe what she just said to me, Harry…" Hermione heard Susan whisper before coming to stand next to Ginny. She wondered briefly if perhaps her advice to stick with Susan had been a good one.

"I think I am going to put Sidney down in the bassinet, excuse me." It was quite clear to Hermione that it was a terrible idea to invite the group of people together. Harry and Susan weren't the same as Ron and Sallie in any aspect. Ron and Sallie seemed to have finally found happiness, yet were the type of couple who still could be separated in a crowd, entertaining separate friends. Susan seemed to claim all of Harry's attention, imagine being jealous of a month-old baby.

"You are beautiful, Sidney." Hermione kissed her daughter's eyelids and pulled the covers lightly around her before charming the bassinet to rock slowly. Everyday, Sidney seemed to bring more life back to Hermione. She hadn't realized it before, but since Wallace's death she'd been quite depressed.

"Potter and his brood have left." She heard from behind her. Hermione slowly moved a curl from Sidney's forehead and brought her eyes to focus on Severus's again.

"She was quite rude earlier." Hermione admonished, leaning over and kissing Sidney one last time. She felt Severus step closer to them and then the soft, delicate pulse of his fingers on her shoulder.

"This was your idea." He joked, rubbing her shoulder slightly. She laughed slowly and thought of the plethora of people in Severus's den. She had been a little delusional herself to invite such an odd mixture of people.

"I know, please keep reminding me." Hermione moved her head to kiss his fingers lightly and then face him completely. She rushed forward and startled him with the power of her embrace.

"What is really bothering you, Hermione?" He received no answer, only whimpers from the woman in his arms. They hadn't been in such proximity for at least a week and the curve of her body had changed dramatically, she was growing thinner by the day.

"I don't know why I am crying." She finally replied, wiping her eyes with her sleeves and stepping away from him. If she didn't already feel immature, she most certainly did as she thought about how silly she was acting.

"Let's get back downstairs and we'll talk later." He handed her a handkerchief and led her to the door, knowing that he was resigning himself to a very long night. As they reached the door, he stopped her slightly and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you, Severus." Hermione smiled and headed down the stairs leaving Severus in the doorway of the nursery where Harrison and many children before them had slept. He turned back to the room and sighed softly himself, remembering things he honestly wished he could forget.

That night, Ron and Sallie stayed for dinner, yet hardly a word was spoken between the crowds. Hermione and Sallie had spoken briefly about the first flowers of spring and her approaching birthday. Ron and Severus rarely spoke normally, so their silence was something customary. Atticus and Harrison ate quickly and excused themselves just as quickly to go practice flying in the north paddock. Everything seemed abnormally quiet, as if something important was going to occur.

"Have they given you any information? I mean, when they said you would come here for protection, did they say they were going to actively pursue the former associates?" Sallie asked as Hermione poured them some tea. Ron and Severus were trying to play a game of wizard chess but it seemed that they wanted to listen to Sallie and Hermione's conversation more.

"They certainly didn't offer a timeline. As much as I like the manor, I miss my home. The elves have helped in taking care of Sidney and Severus has been wonderful, it's just hard being away from some of my personal things." Her tea burnt the tip of her tongue effortlessly before scalding her throat.

"My, I should've blown on this first." Hermione gagged a bit and immediately gobbled a hazelnut truffle.

"So, how are things otherwise, I mean we've not had much chance to talk about other things not involving moving lately." Sallie glanced over to Ron who looked quite serious as his bishop crossed the playing board and then her Uncle, who seemed very pleased in Ron's movement.

"Well, ummm, it's been interesting trying to see where things are going considering that most people don't begin relationships by moving in together." Both women sniggered a bit causing the men to look at them questioningly, but neither women truly cared nor noticed.

"Is he being nice? Ron and I don't get here often enough anymore and I can't tell whether you are happy here or just happy to be alive."

"It's both." Hermione excused herself and went to the restroom. Again, not realizing she'd taken the wrong hallway, she found herself in a familiar hallway in front of a somewhat familiar painting.

"Master Severus and Madame Eleanor." She read aloud once more. This time, however, she scrutinized the woman at the side of the man she was beginning to have great affection for. Her hair was a golden-brown, lighter around the face but darker in the back. Her eyes were a peculiar colour both green and brown, not quite hazel almost as though her maker had forgotten to blend the colours. She was slender, but there was a slight roundness in the middle and her arms were quite long in the comparison of the rest of her. After Hermione had stood there for quite some time, she finally stalked away and made a reminder to ask Severus about the woman who had obviously been his lover at one time.

"See you in the morning." Sallie whispered before helping Ron get situated on his wheelchair and fasten Harrison's robes.

"Bye." Hermione grasped Severus's arm before he could dash away to inform him she was going to check on Sidney. The nursery was something Hermione hadn't expected when she first came to Snape Manor. She hated to admit it, but she rather thought that the Snape family wouldn't have nurseries in their home.

Sidney was resting peacefully when Hermione came into the nursery. She, without delay, came to the bassinet and lifted the infant from her cozy cocoon. It was something that she liked tremendously, the breath on her neck, the little coos and snores. Having a child had changed her a great deal in ways she hadn't expected at all. Sidney was the embodiment of all the hopes and fears she'd had in her life. With a child, she didn't have as much time to do things she normally had. She read a bit and wrote letters, but the time of her day was mostly spent loving the daughter she'd had now for a month.

Severus watched them from the doorway, seeing only fleeting seconds all of the other women who had once had babies in the nursery. Instantly, he saw Sarah as her seventeen year old self, pacing the room with Harrison cradled in her tiny arms. After she'd had Harrison, her entire form had changed as well.

"You don't have to stand in the doorway, Severus." Hermione motioned him in and wondered if he was embarrassed that she knew that he watched her.

"I didn't want to disturb your moment." Severus said slyly coming into the room and bringing his arm slightly around her shoulder. He couldn't tell if she was the type of person that liked her personal space or the type that always had to have a sort of physical closeness to someone.

"She is sleeping a lot lately." Severus added looking into the face of her daughter. Sidney had brought an air of something new and different to Snape Manor. Harrison was four now and though he was still quite young, he wasn't a baby.

"I am thankful. Those first couple of weeks were trying." Hermione smiled up at him, her eyes tearing slightly again. She couldn't control her emotions sometimes.

"Sarah and Ronald will be coming in the morning to accompany us to your home to retrieve a few more things." He stated, his fingers rubbing her heavy shoulder.

"That's very kind of you all, but I really can't bring anything else here before I overload your rooms." She laughed uneasily and wondered if he understood what she really meant. "The things that are still in my house are too sentimental and personal to have around everyday again, I rather like the new things I've come to know." She pulled away from him and faced him.

"Would you hold Sidney for a minute while I go change?" She asked, he held out his arms and cradled the tiny baby in his arms. He wondered what his former students would think of him now, embracing the embodiment of someone else's love. He walked around the room a little and waited for Hermione to return.

"Did she stir?" He heard from behind him as Hermione walked into the nursery again.

"No, she hasn't made a sound." Hermione came to his side again and took Sidney from him before placing her back into the bassinet and leading him out of the nursery.

"Would you like a night cap?" She asked as they came into the breakfast room. Atticus was reading a book and sipping some tea.

"I was going to bed now, Uncle. Goodnight, Hermione." Atticus jumped up quickly and exited the room with barely enough time to bow at Hermione before leaving.

"I don't think he likes me, Severus." Hermione said, her face falling as she spoke.

"I rather think the reality is that he likes you too much." Severus replied, walking over to the bar and beginning to pour them both some wine. Hermione took her somewhat normal seat next to the window and looked down across the field to see her former home.

"There's something I've wanted to ask you since Christmas, but if fear it's quite personal." Hermione said as Severus swirled the drinks a bit and walked over to her side.

"Very well." He offered, she supposed that was his way of permitting her question. She rather liked the closeness they'd come to know since her time at the manor and conflicted within herself the proper way in which to ask him about Madame Eleanor.

"I got lost coming back from the loo before we opened presents on Christmas and came across a painting down a lone corridor. What I mean to ask is who is Madame Eleanor?" Upon saying the phrase, the goblet in Severus' hand slipped through his fingers, hitting the floor with precise timing and shattering at once.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I knew I shouldn't have asked." Hermione set her goblet down and rushed to his feet and picked up the glass mess.

"Please forget I even mentioned anything!" Hermione exclaimed taking the pieces of shattered glass and throwing them in the dustbin. He curiosity had always gotten the best of her spirit and now she'd demanded more of Severus than he could give.

"Stop! Stop your infernal messing about and come sit with me while I gather my thoughts." Hermione came to sit next to him on the lounge, shaking briefly from the tone of his voice. She hadn't heard it quite so rough in many years. His face remained stoic and tense since she'd mentioned the name, but his shoulders had finally relaxed as he reached for her hands.

"No one is supposed to see that painting, in fact it was going to be replaced this weekend with the one you gave me for Christmas." His voice faltered only once when going over the word painting, but she hardly noticed it as her eyes were more intent on seeking his than her ears were to listen.

"The restroom you used was my own private one and that painting is in the hallway leading to my private quarters. It was painted twenty two years ago." She released a breath she had been holding since sitting next to him and hoped he was planning on answering her.

"Were you married?" Hermione asked, rubbing their combined hands together before meeting his trouble eyes.

"Yes, we were married. We had been intended for each other since birth. Her family and my own were quite inter-related and my father intended for us to be wed after I completed my master apprentice at Hogwarts. I was twenty-six then." He paused and captured his breath, stopping only to decide whether Hermione really needed the complete story. He knew her curiosity would not wane.

"Did you love her?" Hermione asked, pleading in her voice.

"Yes, at first, but she soon became more of an obsession than a companion. My three-year stint as a follower of the Dark Lord dampened any real chance for our continued affection and when it came to Hogwarts, it was clear that even though we were bound together, she wouldn't be pleased to marry me." Hermione's eyes were so helplessly drawn to the sadness of his speech and the gauntness of his face. She'd never heard him so honest and forthcoming on something entirely personal.

"Yet you stayed together I am assuming five more years to have the painting done."

"We remained bound by law until three months after the painting was completed." He conveniently left out the part that Eleanor had also died three months later.

"Oh, well I don't know to say exactly. I'm sorry seems useless as I didn't know you then or her ever." Hermione stopped suddenly as Severus pulled his hands from hers.

"You surprise me." He muttered under his breath.

"Why is that?" She questioned, affronted and somewhat offended.

"You don't ask why our being bound ended. Don't you want to know?"

"Of course, but I feel that I've asked enough of you already today."

"How very polite of you to stop now." He barked.

"I gave you the option of saying nothing, why are you blaming me now? What have I done?" His sneer frightened her and made her breaths top again. It was a look she'd seen quite often as a student at Hogwarts. The look was one she'd seen when someone had wronged him or broken a rule.

"Do you want to know what happened to poor, pitiful Eleanor? Deceiving and daring Eleanor who continued an open, illustrious affair with my brother my entire tenure as apprentice? Who, after all, would want to marry a stodgy former Death Eater when you could have the affections of an auror?" The disdain and melancholy in his voice jolted Hermione to memories of her own failed relationships.

"Wasn't he married to Solaris, Sallie's mother then?" Apparently her observation did little to ease the conflict in the air. His shaky hands rested on his knees, his fingers tapped wildly against them.

"No he was not yet married to Solaris. They were married five years later."

"But Sallie was born that year, wasn't she? She's twenty-one, twenty-two this month." Hermione noticed, trying to calculate the time in her mind.

"Our terrible family secret." Severus mumbled, not meeting her eye and slowly grasping her hands once more.

"What I am going to reveal to you Sarah does not know, nor can she. I must be able to trust you with this secret, Hermione."

"Of course." She replied, leaning forward and listening intently to his words.

"I caught them upon returning here that fall, but knew it was of no consequence, Eleanor and I were to marry in the winter. She seemed quite reluctant to the plans father was making and I merely believed it was due to her tête-à-tête with Satinus. We had the painting commissioned the day of our official binding and upon our change in the family robes, noticed that Eleanor was changing dramatically in both form and walk. I noticed she seemed pleased and happy about something I was not privy to. She came to me two months later in great distress and told me she was with child. By law, I had every right to reverse our bond and cast her out into the world, alone. She pleaded with me to allow her to stay at Snape Manor, at the time I hadn't realized exactly how far along she was." He stopped briefly deciding whether it was pertinent or not to reveal the next bit. A sigh later, he met Hermione's eyes and decided she deserved to know it all.

"We had been married, or bound for two months already and my love for her, regardless of the horrible person she was made it easy for me to let her stay. I would like to say we were amicable and eventually fell into a loving relationship, but the truth is we hardly spoke and even when we did it was short, to the point." Hermione heard a sort of finality in his tone as he stood to leave her. Hundreds of questions coddled her slightly fuddled brain.

"Thank you for trusting me enough to confide in me such a personal thing." Hermione went to the sink and poured out her own drink before washing her hands. Looking down, she realized that he hand had been cut by the glass in several different places.

"I've cut my hand." She said, holding it up for him to see. Immediately, he looked to his own hands and saw her blood smeared in blotches all over his fingers. Instantly, a vivid, dark memory grappled his brain and he fell onto the lounge once more and buried his head in his hands.

"What's bothering you, Severus?"

"I am a bad man, Hermione, it would serve you well to leave now. I will arrange for better accommodations."

"You are not a bad man, Severus, why do you say things like that?"

"You have no idea what I am capable of, Hermione." Severus came to the sink, washed his hands and then proceeded to the opposite side of the room where he poured a fresh glass of wine. 'It's better for her to know now', he thought to himself.

"I'm not leaving." She replied defiantly to his morose comments. She couldn't understand where the darkness had suddenly come from and why he was suddenly quite defensive.

"Once I explain everything to you, you'll want to leave so to save myself the modicum of respect that you still have for me, it would be better for you to leave." He swallowed the last of his wine in one gulp and poured another, watching her.

"Just tell me, Severus, it won't change anything."

"You honestly have no idea what I am capable of, Hermione, and what I did to the one person I was supposed to love." Severus turned away from her and memories of them in the exact same room plagued him. Eleanor had never loved him and he'd made her pay everyday for it, until the day when she'd passed on and left him with a child that wasn't his.

Author's Note: Apparently, I didn't write it well enough, but when Severus (in my story) refers to what he is capable of or the fact that he perceives himself to be a bad man, he does not mean simply his past as a death eater. He knows she knows that history, he is referring to his relationship with Eleanor. Sorry if that wasn't apparent.