Disclaimer: I see nothing, I hear nothing and I own nothing...for all you Hogan's Heroes fans!
AN: Italics thoughts
AN2: Sorry for the long wait. Computer crashed. Thank you to my beta, Midnight Lilly.
Chapter 30 Gotta Get Mean
In this vale of toil and sin
You're stuck in a race that you just can't win
Just take a look around and it's so obscene
But that's the way it is, so you gotta get mean
Don't waste your time wondering why
Cause the only thing you know is that someday you'll die
You gotta get tough, you gotta get lean
But best of all you get to gotta get mean
You give me an itch and I'll blow you away
It's part of this dangerous game that we play
You'd do the same if you'd seen what I'd seen
C'est la vie, mon cherie, ya gotta get mean
Blues Travelers "Gotta Get Mean"
Snape and Alexis met outside the Great Hall the next morning for breakfast. As he escorted Alexis to her seat he asked her quietly, "Did you really think I would not find out the truth about Malfoy and Weasley?"
"Did you really think I would not figure out the truth about your Slytherin assistants?" Alexis replied with a smirk.
"Truce?" Snape asked as he pulled out Alexis's chair.
"What are the terms of the truce?" Alexis helped herself to some orange juice and poured Snape's coffee for him.
Taking his coffee, Snape replied, "Total surrender."
"I accept your surrender and expect your students to cooperate fully from now on," Alexis grinned into her orange juice as Snape choked on his coffee.
"I meant your total surrender," Snape snapped.
"Unacceptable, you started this, I am willing to finish it, are you willing to negotiate terms?"
"Slytherins do not negotiate," Snape smirked.
"We seem to have a quandary here as Gryffindors do not surrender," Alexis glanced casually around the Great Hall.
"Indeed we do," Snape replied as he helped himself to some eggs and toast.
"You do realize what this means?" Alexis smiled back at Harry and company who were eating at the Gryffindors' table.
"What?" Snape was distracted watching Alexis pick up the jar of grape jelly.
Alexis smeared jelly on toast and leaned over and offered it to Snape, "This means war," she replied as he leaned forward to take a bite of the toast and jelly.
Carefully licking the jelly from her finger, Alexis rose to her feet. Deliberately leaning over to give Snape a glimpse of cleavage and a whiff of her perfume, Alexis continued, "And darling, the only rules are...there are no rules."
Alexis swayed with provocative grace down the aisle between the Gryffindors and Hufflepuff tables. She stopped briefly to say a word to Harry causing Harry and the people immediately surrounding him to break into laughter.
When she reached to door to the Great Hall, she turned and looked back at Snape, who had been unable to tear his eyes away from her rear.
When he met her eyes, she blew him a kiss and gave him a wink before leaving the room.
Snape let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. Surely he could handle one Gryffindors? Surely?
Later that morning, Snape was teaching a seventh year advanced potions class. A timid knock on the door interrupted his explanation of the proper manner in which to add Mandrakes to a Restorative Draft.
"Enter," he snarled.
A Ravenclaw sixth year by the name of Cissy Peterson crept in carrying a paper bag.
"What is it Miss. Peterson? As you can see I am in the middle of a class," Snape hissed.
"I'm sorry Professor, Miss. Draluck asked me to deliver this to you, she said it was very important" Cissy stuttered.
"Well, give it to me then," Snape held out his hand for the bag.
Cissy Peterson crept forward and with a trembling hand held out the bag to Snape, who snatched the bag from the poor girl and said, "I'm sure you have someplace you should be Miss. Peterson, I suggest you return there with all speed or I will be forced to deduct points."
Cissy practically ran for the door.
Snape placed the bag on his desk and returned to his lecture, his eyes kept returning to the bag.
He was wondering what it could possibly contain; quickly he waved the instructions for the potion on the board and told the class to begin.
After a circuit of the classroom to make sure all the students were intent upon their work, he made his way to his desk. Opening the bag he looked inside to find, a silver serpent holding what looked like a bit of ribbon in its mouth. Shaking the serpent out of the bag and into his hand he peered more closely at it. A sudden memory caused his body to tighten. The last time he had seen this serpent it had been attached to Alexis's garter belt. The tiny bit of ribbon was all that was left of her panties after he had ripped them off of her. Snape had to remain seated at his desk for the rest of the class period. He spent the time plotting his plan of attack.
Alexis was following the Gryffindors third years to their last class before lunch, trailing several yards behind the last student. She was planning her next move in the war of wits with Snape. As she passed an empty classroom, an arm shot out and grabbed her pulling her into the room. The door was slammed shut and she was pressed up against it. She opened her mouth to scream and suddenly felt familiar lips trailing up her neck. She shuddered and managed to gasp out, "What do you think you are doing?"
In a sexy purr, Snape responded, "Not half of what I would like to do," he outlined the rim of her ear in nibbling kisses, "I want to bend you over the teacher's desk and rip your clothes off of you."
Alexis shivered at the picture his words evoked.
Snape continued, "Then I want to map every inch of your body with my tongue, I want to taste every inch of your skin until you scream out my name."
"And then?" Alexis whispered.
"Then I want to sheath myself in your hot, wet, eager body," Snape's hands were busy under Alexis's robes.
Alexis pressed herself against Snape, "And then?"
"Then I want to shag you silly, I want to make you cum so many times that you can't even remember your own name. I want to leave you so weak you cannot walk. I want the only thing on what's left of your mind to be my name," Snape had slipped Alexis's panties down over her hips until they fell on the floor.
"Oh, yes Severus let's do it now," Alexis was already moving toward the teacher's desk.
Snape bent down and pocketed Alexis's panties as he said apologetically, "Sorry dear, I would love to but I have a class in five minutes," he turned and as he walked out the door, "maybe later?"
Alexis just stood there a giant unsatisfied ache, staring after him in stunned disbelief. As she pulled herself together and headed down the hall, she finally realized that Snape had stolen her panties. He may have won this battle, but she was going to win the war.
Snape returned to his classroom smirking at the success of his latest volley. Snape was explaining the properties of the potion the class would be working on when he noticed something sitting on the middle of his desk. He continued to lecture as he slowly made his way to the front of the classroom. When he finally got close enough to really see what had been placed on top of a stack of parchments waiting to be graded, his lecture ground to a halt as he looked frantically from the lacy green demi-bra artistically arranged to the bewildered students waiting for his lecture to continue.
Finally Bradley Hornpipe got up enough courage to ask, "Professor is everything okay?"
Snape snapped out of his shock and moved to stand in front of his desk to block the view of the brassiere, "The instructions for the preparing the potion are on the board, begin."
Snape turned back to his desk intent upon removing the offending undergarment before anyone else noticed it only to find that it was gone. I must have been imagining things, he thought as he turned back to glower at the students bent over their cauldrons.
That was when he noticed the skimpy panties hanging from the knob of the classroom door. Swallowing hard he started to the back of the classroom causing all the students to stare at him, "Back to work," he growled.
Snape began to make his way to the classroom door. Pausing to correct a student or make a scathing comment about the general stupidity of the class, he was able to get to the last row of desks. Carefully ascertaining that no one was looking, he turned to remove the panties and nothing was there. He made his way back to his desk the whole time scanning the classroom for any hint of lingerie.
The students were becoming even more nervous than usual as Snape prowled the classroom. He would whirl and scan his desk suddenly or rapidly move toward the back of the classroom at odd intervals. Everyone was relieved when the class was finally over.
Snape was watching the last student gather his belongings and turn to leave the classroom. That was when Snape noticed a sheer silk stocking stuck to the back of the student's robes. Snape rushed up behind the student and grabbed the stocking and stuffed it into his pocket. The startled Hufflepuff almost wet himself when he noticed Snape so close behind him, "Don't dawdle Mr. Smythe."
Snape breathed a sigh of relief when the door closed behind Mr. Smythe and he reached into his pocket to find it empty. Now he was really aggravated. He had not yet begun to fight!
Alexis was sitting in the back of the Transfiguration's classroom when Draco Malfoy knocked on the door interrupting Professor McGonagall.
"Yes Mr. Malfoy?"
"I have a note from Professor Snape for Miss. Draluck," Draco smirked.
"Well then give it to her and return to your class," Professor McGonagall urged.
Draco sauntered up to Alexis and handed her a think envelope, "With Professor Snape's compliments."
"Thank you Mr. Malfoy," Alexis returned the blonde's smirk with a matching one of her own.
As Draco turned to leave he passed Harry and Ron and gave them a rude gesture. Harry replied in kind, but unfortunately his was seen by McGonagall, "Mr. Potter, I have never seen such a display of childish behavior. Detention tonight with Mr. Filch."
During the resulting confusion, Alexis opened the envelope and removed the photo inside. She stared at the photo and then went completely white. She had never posed for this picture. Alexis looked around to make sure no one was paying any attention to her and then went back to studying the picture. She was on Snape's bed wearing nothing but a long string of pearls, her snake garter belt and a come-hither smile. Then she remembered: lying jerk had assured her that there was no film in the camera.
"Miss. Draluck?" The tumult had died down and Professor McGonagall was looking at Alexis in concern.
"Yes Professor?" Alexis managed to croak out while stuffing the photo back into its envelope.
"Are you feeling ill? You were as pale as a ghost a moment ago and now you are flushed."
"Perhaps I should go get a drink of cold water," Alexis grasped at the provided escape and hurried from the classroom.
When she got to the girl's bathroom, she opened the envelope only to find ashes. The photo had self-destructed.
Snape returned to the potion's lab after lunch. He had thirty minutes before his next class started and he had some papers he wanted to finish grading. He opened the door and was swamped with an avalanche of bubbles. Giant quaffle sized vanilla and rose scented floating bubbles that immediately started wafting down the corridor. Now he knew why Alexis hadn't made it to lunch.
He was disappointed in Alexis; surely she knew that there were a number of simple spells to clean up this mess. Snape waved his wand and said"Evanesco" and watched in disbelief as the bubbles instead of vanishing started to randomly change colors. Next he tries"Reducto" which instead of blasting the bubbles caused them to split and multiply.
For the next twenty minutes Snape tried every spell, charm, incantation and hex he could think of to rid the dungeon classroom of the bubbles. Nothing had worked. All he had managed to do was contain the bubbles in his classroom. Now he had a room full of bubbles randomly changing colors, shapes and sizes. A few had glitter floating inside of them. A dog shaped bubble was chasing a cat shaped bubble around his desk. A bubble shaped like a hula girl was dancing along the rim of a cauldron. He could hear the students coming down the hallway and he had no idea what he was going to do.
First bell rang, as the clanging faded, there was a sudden series of pops and all the bubbles disappeared leaving behind a pleasantly scented, shining clean classroom. Snape was going to teach that aggravating witch a lesson she wouldn't soon forget...as soon as he figured out the lesson.
Snape wasn't sure which had aggravated him more, the fact that he had not been able to get rid of the bubbles; or, the comments the students had made about how nice the dungeons smelled and how clean and shiny they looked. He also found the surreptitious looks he was garnering slightly disconcerting. They were not the usual looks of fear and loathing to which he was accustomed. Instead they almost seemed to be looks of amazement and curiosity, it was most unsettling.
Snape dismissed class and decided to go look for Alexis. He wasn't sure what he was going to do when he found her, but dumping her in the lake was beginning to look good. Snape was really beginning to become irritated by the looks he was getting. Now that he had left the dungeons and was making his way up to the main hall he noticed more and more people staring at him and now they were muttering and a few were even pointing. He overheard a few sixth year girls say something that sounded like "Fabio" and some fourth and fifth years were arguing with them and saying"No more like Lockhart's."
Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle approached Snape as they headed down to the Slytherin common room. Snape saw Malfoy give a double take when he noticed his head of house approaching"Sir, you, um, look, well...very nice today, have you, um, done something different with your hair"
Snape just gave Malfoy a look of disdain, there was a limit to the toadying he would allow. Making obviously false comments about his appearance was going to far. Before he could say anything to Malfoy, Professor Dumbledore approached"Severus, you are looking well today, have you tried something different on your hair"
Snape looked from the twinkling headmaster to the gaping students. What had that blasted witch done now? Snape excused himself and made his way to the nearest boy's toilet. Once there he approached the row of mirrors with trepidation. Taking a deep breath he looked into the nearest mirror and gasped in surprise. His normally lank, greasy looking hair was falling in thick shiny waves to his shoulders. He moved his head and his hair swayed with the motion before settling back into place with a casual elegance. He reached up and ran his fingers through it. It felt alive and like silk, it seemed to wind around his fingers in a caress.
He absolutely hated it!
He looked like some kind of popinjay. His students were not going to take him seriously if he looked like he spent more time on his hair than he did his lesson plans; no one was going to fear someone with perfect hair.
He had to find Alexis and get her to change it back; this was going entirely to far.
Snape stormed out of the boys' loo, catching sight of Hermione Granger he stomped over to her"Where is Miss. Draluck"
"She said she had an errand to run and told Harry that if he left the common room before she got back she would make him demonstrate the hokey pokey tomorrow night during dance class."
"Do you know where this errand may have taken her" Snape hissed.
"She had a large basket and her cloak on when she left, sir" Hermione replied earnestly.
"That mangy cur" Snape snarled as he stormed out of the castle.
"That's not a very nice way to talk about Miss. Draluck" Hermione said to Ginny Weasley who had walked up as Snape stalked off. Ginny just shook her head in agreement.
Snape was making his way to the Quidditch field when he saw Alexis heading back toward the castle. She had to watch where she was stepping. The ground still had not completely dried from all the rain, so she didn't see Snape until she was right up on him.
Hearing the squelch of his footsteps, she looked up with a smile that quickly turned to a gasp of dismay"What the hell have you done to your hair? You look like Fabio. Go back and change it right now." Alexis looked close to tears as she hurried the rest of the way up to Snape.
"What do you mean, what did I do to my hair?" "Woman, this is your doing and I expect you to fix it right now" Snape demanded.
"I never did this. I wouldn't mess with your hair. I loved it the way it was" Alexis reached up and tentatively ran her fingers through his hair"It does feel nice" she admitted"but I don't like the way it looks, it is to poofy and prissy. You look like a big sissy. Go fix it."
"How can I fix it, if I don't know what you did to it"
"Severus, how many times do I have to tell you I didn't do this to your hair" Alexis said still staring at his hair in horror.
"My hair was normal until your trick with the bubbles" Snape sniped.
Alexis stood lost in thought for a moment"Come on let's go talk to Filius. He was the one who helped me with the charm, maybe he can figure out what went wrong with it and messed up your hair. Severus, even if Filius can't fix your hair, I want you to know I will still love you" Alexis assured Snape as she grabbed his arm and hurried him toward the castle.
