Disclaimer: I still own nothing.

AN: Thank you to all my reviewers. I really appreciate you taking the time to review. It is what makes writing this so much fun and what keeps me updating so often.

Midnight Lily is incredibly patient and understanding with me….I keep forgetting to give her credit for her ideas until after the chapter is posted. Last chapter the portrait was her idea. (golf clap for Midnight Lily….aw come on thunderous applause).

Chapter 37 Love Potion Number Nine

I took my troubles down to Madame Ruth
You know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth
She's got a pad down at 34th and Vine
Sellin' little bottles of
Love Potion Number Nine

I told her that I was a flop with chicks
I'd been this way since 1956
She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign
She said "What you need is
Love Potion Number Nine"

She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink
She said "I'm gonna make it up right here in the sink"
It smelled like turpentine and looked like India ink
I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink

Lieber/Stoller "Love Potion Number Nine"

If the students returning to Hogwarts thought that they would find a kinder, gentler Potions Professor due to his engagement to Miss. Draluck, they were in for a big disappointment.

Alexis returned to Gryffindor Tower Sunday night. Snape found it almost impossible to sleep without Alexis beside him. His rooms were once more cold and lonely. Word quickly spread to avoid Snape even more than usual: lack of sleep and suddenly being deprived of sex made for a very grumpy Professor.

Alexis found that not only was it hard to go back to sleeping by herself, she was getting some strange and suspicious looks from the student body. The only ones who offered any type of congratulations were the Slytherins: although she couldn't tell if the congratulations were for her engagement or her dowry.

What was really irritating is that some of the kids had started trying various anti-jinx and anti-hex spells on her. Aniya had insisted that Alexis wear her daily so that she could continue Star's training. Several times the asp had to warn her not to drink her pumpkin juice because an overzealous would be protector had spiked it with a love potion reversal potion. If properly prepared it would not have done anything, unfortunately, neither of the potions had been properly prepared. Alexis still shuddered as she remembered the look on Snape's face when Aniya told him what was in the juice.

The final straw came when on her way to breakfast Wednesday morning, a sixth year Hufflepuff hit her with a Chaos Charm that he had modified with a Friendship Spell and then combined it all with a Reversal anti-jinx. The results were colorful to say the least.

After catching sight of her reflection in a suit of armor, Alexis grabbed the stunned Hufflepuff by a convenient ear and began dragging him into the Great Hall. As she pulled the apologizing boy to the front of the room, an eerie silence descended in a wave as the students and faculty noticed what was happening.

Reaching the front of the hall, Alexis gave Snape, who had jumped to his feet at the sight of her, a 'don't say a word' look that had him quickly sitting back down. Turning her attention to Dumbledore, who was hiding his smile in his beard, she gave him a questioning look, at his nod she turned back to the students.

Thrusting the trembling Hufflepuff into a seat at his table, Alexis addressed the waiting throng, "ENOUGH!" everyone jumped at the volume she had managed without even resulting to magic.

"I appreciate your concern for my well being. Really I do. But I am here to tell you that I am neither under a spell, potion, jinx or curse: nor am I being blackmailed, threatened, or coerced in any way, magical, physical, psychological or emotional. I can assure you that the rumors that Professor Snape is holding my friends and loved ones hostage in the dungeon until I marry him are false. I do not have a brain tumor nor do I only have a few months left to live and Professor Snape is the only one who can cure me with a special potion that he has refused to brew for me unless I agree to marry him. I agreed of my own free will to marry Professor Snape. Now if you do not stop trying to help me someone is going to end up hurt and it most probably will be me. It wouldn't be so bad if you actually knew what you were doing but half of the potions, spells and antidotes you have tried on me were preformed, prepared or cast incorrectly: as you can witness by my current appearance. So stop it before something worse happens. Now Mr. Miller, you and I have some things to discuss." And grabbing the hapless Hufflepuff's ear again, she led him through the teacher's door.

Dumbledore twinkled over at Snape, "Even if it is a cliché, she is beautiful when she is angry."

Snape turned back to look at Dumbledore who continued, "Although it would have been better if her blue skin hadn't clashed with her neon green hair. The tail was a nice touch. The whipping back and forth as she spoke to the students seemed to emphasize what she was saying."

Professor Sprout had recovered enough to hurry and try to rescue Mr. Miller before Alexis could do anything permanent to him.

Snape excused himself and followed Sprout.

He found Alexis in full rant shaking a finger at the very cowed boy, "I look like a giant punk rock Smurf. Do you have any idea what you did to me? Better yet do you have any idea how to undo what you did to me? Of all the irresponsible actions. You do realize that you have broken at least twelve school rules? I should give you detention for the rest of the year and deduct so many house points you will be doing extra credit work just to get back to zero."

Professor Sprout blanched at this last threat and started forward to try to calm Alexis before she could carry through on that last threat. Snape caught her arm to stop her and gave his head a small shake. He knew Alexis would never punish a whole house for the actions of one of its members.

As Alexis turned to pace she saw Madame Sprout and Snape, giving the pair a wink she turned back to Horace Miller. Unfortunately for Mr. Miller, Alexis almost tripped over the extremely long cat like tail that she now sported. The fur on the tail was neon green to match her hair which was puffed out at least six inches from her head in every direction. She looked like she had suffered a bad fright or an almost lethal electrical shock.

Bending over she picked up the twitching tail and gave it a tug. Realizing that the tail was indeed attached to her, she advanced on the quivering boy holding it out to him and shaking it in his face, "And just what is this? I have a tail! How the he…how did you give me a tail?"

Horace's response was a loud sneeze, quickly followed by a rapid staccato of sneezes, "Sorry, allergic to cats."

"I want three feet of parchment on each charm, hex or spell that you tried on me. What you did wrong and what you should have done to get whatever effect you were going for. And believe me, you had better NOT have been trying to turn me blue, with crazy neon green hair and a neon green cat tail. Do you understand?"

Mr. Miller, relieved to have gotten off relatively lightly, nodded his head being to busy sneezing to make a verbal response.

"Go see Madame Pomfrey about your sneezing," Alexis waved him out of the room.

Professor Sprout stopped the boy before he could escape, "Mr. Miller, detention for the next month in the greenhouses. Now come with me to the nurse."

Alexis looked at Snape, she didn't know whether she was going to laugh or cry. Snape walked up to her and tried to pat her hair back into place. It immediately sprang back up.

There was a large mirror over the fireplace. Walking up to it, Alexis stared at her reflections, "Yes a punk rock smurf on acid. You can call me Punk Smurf. Nope, actually I look more like one of those troll dolls: except for the tail that is."

Snape came over and put his arms around her, being careful not to get poked in the eye by her hair, "Filius or Poppy will be able to return you to normal," he assured her and then couldn't resist, "don't let it make you blue."

"Arghhh!" but she couldn't help chuckling as she leaned back against Snape. Snape felt something easing under the hem of his robes and then snaking around his waist. Looking down he could see a neon green tail pulling up the bottom of Alexis's robe before disappearing under his.

Dumbledore opened the door from the Great Hall and entered the room smiling as he saw the couple by the fireplace, "Alexis, I have arranged with several of the professors and the head boy to stay with Harry today. Why don't you go to your room and lay down. Poppy and Filius are talking with Mr. Miller and they should have a treatment sorted out by this afternoon. Severus, why don't you stay with Alexis and make sure that there aren't any other adverse reactions to the spell. I'll take your classes today."

"Thank you Albus," Alexis said as Snape nodded his appreciation for the headmaster's thoughtfulness.

Alexis turned to head to the dungeons when something tugged her back against Snape. Looking at him she tried to move away again with the same result, "Severus you are gong to have to let me go."

Snape smirked, "Alexis it is you who are going to have to let me go. It appears that you have a prehensile tail."

Alexis concentrated for a moment and Snape could feel the tail unwrapping from around his waist before caressing the front of his trousers on its way out from under his robes.

Alexis tried an innocent look, "Sorry I don't have complete control of it yet."

"I'm sure," was Snape's only response as he took her arm and escorted her to the dungeons.

Reaching their rooms, Alexis said, "I am going to take a bath, maybe this will wash off."

Snape followed her into the bathroom and helped her undress. She was a cobalt blue all over: except for her hair which was neon green. All of her hair was neon green: eyelashes, eyebrows, pubic hair. Her tail started at the base of her spine. In length it was about five feet. Alexis looked at her tail and then longingly at the tub, but decided to opt for a shower instead. Sitting with that thing was going to be uncomfortable to say the least, much less trying to soak in a tub.

Alexis managed to tame her hair so that it no longer stood straight up, but it was still neon green and she still remained bright blue. She found that she was going better control of her tail, cold comfort to say the least.

Wrapping a bath sheet around herself and toweling her hair dry she walked out of the bathroom to find Snape sitting on the loveseat in front of the fire rubbing his forehead.

Coming up behind him she began to rub his shoulders and then worked her fingers up his scalp and then finished off by massaging the tension from his neck. When she had finished, Snape reached an arm around and pulled her over the back of the couch and into his lap, "I thought I was supposed to be taking care of you?"

"You can do that now? Have you ever made love to a Smurf?" Alexis asked him wickedly.

Snape had no clue as to what a Smurf might be, but if it looked like Alexis he was game. Tugging on the knot that held her towel closed he eased it away from her body revealing blue breasts with slightly darker nipples. Taking one into his mouth, he expected it to taste like blueberries; instead it tasted like Alexis, "Ummmm, much better than blueberries."

Alexis' laugh quickly changed to a gasp of pleasure as Snape moved to her other nipple. He found he liked having Alexis across his lap as he was able to trail a hand down her stomach, pausing only to tickle her bellybutton before beginning to stroke her between her legs. Leaning back he watched as her attention centered on the sensations he was eliciting. He found it extremely arousing to watch the kaleidoscope of expressions chase each other across her face. When he stroked in a slow steady rhythm a small smirk would tilt her lips. He changed to a circling motion and watched as she caught her lower lip in her teeth. Using his thumb and sliding one finger inside of her he watched as her head rolled from side to side, her nostrils pinched and he could just see her tongue peeking out from between her lips. Finally as he slipped two fingers into her sheath and picked up the speed of his caresses, her eyes rolled back as her lashes fluttered all he could see was the whites of her eyes, panting gasps came from between her slightly parted lips, her skin was flushed rosy and as her back arched he could feel her muscles milking his thrusting fingers. In the afterglow, there was a satisfied smirk and a boneless relaxation.

Snape picked up the sated woman and carrying her into the bedroom placed her on the bed. He moved to pull the spread down when he felt something around his waist pulling him down on the bed. Looking down he saw a neon green tail wrapped around him. When he was on the bed, the tail unwound from his waist and snaked up to his neck where it urged him down to a smiling Alexis, "It seems to have a mind of its own," and she opened her mouth to receive his kiss.

Either Alexis was correct and the tail had a horny mind of its own or Alexis had learned a dexterous control of it. Snape felt his robes being slipped off of his shoulders and then they went sailing across the room. Alexis' hands were busy with his buttons and as each garment was fully unbuttoned the tail would slide it off and with a flick it would land on the floor. When Alexis had got to his shirt, Snape felt the tail against his skin for the first time. It was a tickling sensation that was not at all unpleasant. Alexis' hands were now undoing his pants and the tail was helping her push them out of the way. Soon Snape's clothes were in an untidy pile on the floor.

Alexis let out a hiss of pleasure as Snape entered her. Wrapping her legs around his waist she arched against him and clenched her muscles as tightly as she could. Now it was Snape who bit back a groan. They held that position for a moment before finding a rhythm that pleased them both. All too soon they reached the pinnacle of pleasure and collapsed in a sweaty tangle of legs and arms.

Snape felt Alexis running her finger nails up and down his back in lazy circles. He kissed her and said, "Instead of Punk Smurf, I think I'll call you Nympho Smurf," he winced as her nails scratched a little too hard.

"Am I hearing a complaint?"

"Hell no!" Snape replied, "If you kill me with sex, I will die a happy man."

"Just don't forget to take your strengthening potion and I think you will survive," Alexis teased.

Snape picked her up and carried her back into the bathroom where they spent a very pleasant half hour getting really, really clean.

Slinky brought them lunch and a message from Poppy and Filius to meet them in the hospital wing after they had eaten. Snape had to force Alexis to slow down when she almost choked on her sandwich in her hurry to finish and get to the infirmary.

Entering the hospital, Poppy hurried up to Alexis and started waving her wand and muttering, "Dear, how do you manage to get yourself in these predicaments? Mr. Miller explained exactly what he did and Filius and I believe that we should be able to set you to rights in just a few minutes. Now come over here and sit down."