Disclaimer: I still don't own anything.
Chapter 8
The Duel and the Dog
"Don't chicken out," Draco muttered as Crabbe walked back to the Slytherin table. "Merlin, the nerve of him. I'd bet galleons to knuts that he's not actually going to show up."
"You're on," Hermione said. "He has too much pride to do anything but."
"Ah yes, pride. At once the greatest weapon and greatest weakness of a Slytherin."
"You know what I think," Luna asked from beside Hermione.
"No, what do you think?"
"I think that he has a Grumpfuz clinging to his back."
"And what exactly is a Grumpfuz?"
"A creature that makes anyone it touches want to make other people feel as bad as it does."
Fred and George spoke up from across the table.
"That's one suggestion-"
"But personally-"
"We believe-"
"That someone-"
"Anyone-"
"Needs to remove-"
"The Cleansweep 2-"
"From his-" Fred was cut off by Harry.
"We're trying to be serious, not obscene."
"Well you took Lovegood's suggestion."
"That's because she actually believes in Grumpfuz. Whereas you two don't really believe that he actually has a broomstick stuck there."
"Who said it was full sized?"
"Or that he actually knew?"
"Or that it was even related?"
"The Weasley Twins have struck again," they said in unison.
"Oh, Merlin, you mean you two actually-"
"Afraid so, Draco."
"But don't worry-"
"He won't find out-"
"Until it expands with water!"
"That could probably help in your duel, by the way."
"Incidentally, the spell to completely soak an object is 'Aquarius'."
"Soon, people will forget all about the famous Boy-Who-Lived"
"And remember the infamous Boy-Who-Sat-On-A-Broom-Wrong."
"Or the Boy-Who-Sat-On-An-Umbrella."
"The spell to transfigure a broom to an umbrella is-"
"No, Fred," Draco interjected. "I believe the humiliation will be enough. Just focus on finding some way to show this duel to the entire school."
"Consider it done."
"Although I don't think you would want Filch to see it."
"Or the professors."
"Then charm it so that only people under the age of 19 can see it," Draco said slowly.
"Of course."
"So simple we should have guessed it."
Draco and Harry arrived in the Trophy Room that night under the guidance of the Marauders' Map. When they arrived, however, the map indicated that 'Git' was approaching, but Crabbe was still in the Slytherin common room.
"Bloody coward, we had a duel planned."
"Draco, remember the Twins' little prank. Now remember that he didn't know about it. Now remember Peeves patrolling the corridors with water balloons. Mischief Managed," he said, deactivating the map. The two were getting ready to leave when Mrs Norris came in.
"Is there someone here, my sweet," Filch asked as Draco and Harry tried to keep quiet. Mrs Norris started to hiss at the students. Draco and Harry ran past Filch, so fast he couldn't see who they were, to find somewhere, anywhere, to hide.
"Quick," Harry said, finding a door, "in here."
"Harry, do you know where we are"
"Yes, we're standing at the entrance to the forbidden Third Floor corridor. Really, which do you prefer, death or your seven years at Hogwarts spent in detention with Filch? Alohomora!" Harry unlocked the door to the forbidden corridor and ducked inside. Draco followed upon hearing footsteps.
"A very painful death, is it? Hey, Harry, am I dead yet?"
"Not yet," Harry said, pointing at something. Draco turned to find himself face-to-face with a giant three-headed dog. Reactivating the map, the two burst through the door to get out of the corridor without even looking to see if anyone was out there.
"Merlin, what was that thing," Draco asked Harry as they made their way back to the Gryffindor common room.
"I think it's a Cerberus, Draco."
"What?"
"You know, Cerberus, the tri-headed hellhound that guards the gates of Hell."
"I know what Cerberus is, Harry," Draco said. "I meant what would it be doing here?"
"Guarding the entrance to a different kind of Hell. Didn't you see, it was standing on a trap door?"
"I'll bet whatever Dumbledore's hiding is through there."
"Well, we'll have to come back later, won't we?"
"Not without the rest of the Junior Marauders." Little did Draco realise that Harry knew exactly what awaited through the trap door.
"I suppose we should have known that he wouldn't show up," Harry said the next day when the JM were gathered together.
"What, Crabbe," Ron asked. "He wanted to be there, believe me. But, unfortunately, he decided to take a shower first, and the next thing I know Flint's dragging him wearing only a towel to Madam Pomfrey." Apparently he saw something sticking out behind him, used a severing charm to remove it, and only then did he realise he still needed to get it out."
"Well, it appears we owe him a duel, eh Harry?"
"I'd say Fred and George deserve the blame for this one."
"Well," Draco said, "we didn't have our duel, but Crabbe still got what he deserved. Add that broom trick to the Marauders' Prankbook, Harry. Just omit the small detail that we weren't responsible for it."
"Consider it there, Draco. Now, Hermione, we need you to get some information to Blaise and see if he can get it into the gossip mill."
"That shouldn't be a problem, all he has to do is send it to Padma, who's more-or-less already his girlfriend. She'll be able to get it to Parvati, and then it's only a matter of time until the entire school knows Crabbe was caught in the shower with a broom protruding from his anus. They can draw their own conclusions from there."
"Moony, Hood, Padfoot and Prongs would be proud of this one."
"I know, Harry."
"There's more to it, really," Draco confided to Ron and Hermione later that day.
"What do you mean 'more to it,'" Hermione asked.
"I mean there were details that I wouldn't consider telling any time that there was a chance of being overheard."
"Such as," Ron prompted.
"Such as we went into the forbidden corridor to avoid Filch and Mrs. Norris. Such as there was a bloody Cerberus in there. Such as it was standing on top of a trap door. Need I go on?"
"So, first we have Hagrid taking something from Gringotts, then we have the break in, meaning it was something valuable, then we have the whole 'forbidden corridor' thing, and now we have a Cerberus?"
"That's right."
"Merlin, Draco, we're over our heads on this one."
"No kidding, Herms."
DM
Yes, that's right, another update! I apologize to my loyal fans (oh, God, I'm being Lockhart-y), but I had several personal issues to work through and I just forgot all about it.
I know that at least one of you was looking forward to seeing Harry try to talk Draco out of the duel, but we can't have Harry acting like he has all kinds of advanced knowledge of everything. After all, his experience is all but null and void when we get to third year. Plus, if Draco hadn't gone to duel, I would have had to come up with a new introduction for Fluffy! And were I that creative, I wouldn't be rewriting the original books!
Crabbe's humiliation was necessary because, unlike Canon!Draco, who is more words than actions, the Crabbe of this story would most certainly actually attend the duel. Thus, I needed a reason to keep him out of it.
You know it, you love it. NEXT CHAPTER PREVIEW!
DM
"Ron, you're acting like-"
"A Slytherin? See this crest, Malfoy? Do you know what it means? Or have you been thinking about Loony so much it's damaged your brain?"
"I was going to say you're acting like Crabbe, except I think he might be more understanding."
DM
Massive shake-ups in the New Marauders, coming next chapter!
