Never Have I Ever-Round 2
"My turn, then," King rubbed his hands together. She'd lost track of the rounds, but King was on his third bottle already. "Never have I ever broken the law." Dex snorted, saluting King with his drink before downing a healthy sized gulp. Hedges followed suit, as did she, but Sommer hesitated.
"Are we talking ever or just in this group?"
"Ever, and I'll want details on that again, Sommer."
"Eat crow, then," Sommer sipped twice.
"It'll be more fun if you share," King whined, petulant, before taking his sip. "I'll share if you will." Without waiting for Sommer to comment, he went on, "I got arrested for public indecency once."
"What?"
"Fucking puritanical bullshit," King shook his head, aggrieved. "My girlfriend went down on me in a mall." The men at the table regarded King like some sort of deity come to Earth. Sommerfield giggled, a tad too knowingly, and Abby could only gape at him.
"You're serious?"
"In Starbucks, of all places."
Dex guffawed at this. "She needed a shot, huh?"
"A mugshot," Abby snapped. "Jesus, King, you're a degenerate."
"I try," he mugged at her. "Wanna make that two counts, Whistler? After three, I hear you're out in this country."
"Eat me."
"Yeah," King smiled, wistfully, "That'd do, too."
"I got a traffic violation," Sommerfield said out of nowhere. Her cheeks were red as she played with the label on her second bottle.
"That's hardly law breaking," Hedges pouted.
"We were pulled over on the emergency shoulder," Sommerfield elaborated, all the men at the table sitting up and leaning closer as she spoke. "Apparently, illegal parking was the worst the cop thought he could do to us without dying of embarrassment. Kind of him, really."
"Oh, to be a fly on that windshield." King shook his head. "But we must move on. Your turn again, Whistler."
Her mind reeling, Abby tried to think of what she could possibly say that would lead to as interesting a series of revelations as had just come out. "I've never," she began, changed her mind, and finished, "I've never cheated on my partner."
There was a rush of protests all around the table. Sommerfield mumbled to herself, while Hedges sputtered and Dex grumbled something about 'the bitch deserving it.'
"Define 'cheat,'" King prodded.
"Romantic pursuit with a person other than a person you were seeing, dating, fucking, whatever. And be honest," she admonished the room at large, boldly taking the first sip while they still mitigated to themselves.
"Details," King demanded. "And none of that second drink bullshit, Whistler."
"Nothing much to it," she said, briskly. "I had a boyfriend in high school, and the guy I really liked became available at a party." She was aware of attentions coming sharply to focus on her. "What?" She glowered, sensitive and defensive.
"More," Hedges begged. "Kissing? Over-the-bra, under-the-shirt touching? Bases? Give us something, Abby."
"Enough to count as cheating, that's all you get," Abby denied him. "Who else has to drink at this table? Come on, fess up."
"I'm going to need another drink at this rate," Sommerfield pouted, sipping once, then twice to make a point. No one asked her to elaborate. Dex drank, Hedges frowned. King, however, was the most conspicuous of the two non-drinkers.
"Hold up," Abby turned on him. "You're honestly telling us you've never cheated on a person you were dating?"
"Never," he feigned shock, which was ruined by his smugness. "Don't look so surprised, Abby. I have standards. They may be low, but they're not as low as yours." She bristled at this, unable to deny it. "Never have I ever," he tipped his beer at her.
"I'm with Abby," Sommerfield commented, "I don't believe you either."
"I'm playing level with you guys. I've got nothing to hide." And, so far, he hadn't, really.
"We'll see," Sommerfield said, cryptically. "My turn." She tapped her finger on her lip, thinking. "I've never broken someone's heart." Sommerfield took a sip almost before she finished. Dex knocked his Guinness against Sommer's bottle, swigging. Hedges shrugged at her, and Abby didn't touch hers either. They turned, as one, to King, who was in the process of draining his bottle dry.
"I figure one sip for each offense," he explained with a wry smile.
"You're exaggerating." She scoffed at him while he fished for a fresh brew.
"And you're lying."
"Excuse me?"
"Actually, he's right," Hedges jumped in. "You break hearts, Abby. Take my word for it." King chuckled, but Hedges appeared somewhat serious. For his sake as much as her own, Abby chose to pretend it had been a joke, as King did, and rolled her eyes dramatically as she took a sip.
"Dex, you're up."
"I've never betrayed a friend's confidence." Dex drank, as did Hedges and Sommer, but Abby caught King's eye and resolutely kept the bottom of her bottle flush to the table. He didn't drink either, damn him.
"Hedges?"
"I never told a lie to get laid." Finally, after a few rounds dry, Hedges got to drink, almost proud of such a low achievement. Dex snorted, Sommer, too, sharing a private laugh at Hedges' expense. Abby noticed King staring at her, and, leaning his head into his hand, he turned so that only she could see him wink. He cleared his throat to call attention to himself as he chugged his beer.
He was lying. She knew it at once. For Hedges' benefit, of all things.
"What lie did you tell to get laid, King?" Dex didn't sound as if he bought it.
"What's this?" Sommer perked up. "Mr. Mall Security Violation has to lie for a fuck?" She giggled, stamping her heels. A few too many rounds, too many years without serious drinking, and their resident scientist was already halfway gone. "De-tails."
"I told her I had a nine-inch dick," King quipped.
"And that's a lie?"
"Yep. It's actually a foot-long."
Abby pursed her lips tightly to keep from laughing, flushing when King glanced at her. He caught her right as she let her mind wander and wonder just how long...ahem, she cut herself off and resumed a playful indifference. His eyes sparkled with mischief, as if surmising her train of thought, but he said nothing, speaking next to Hedges.
"Hedges, I'm guessing, didn't have to spare the poor girl's feelings."
"Nope, but I had to pay for it," Hedges jived right back. A genial guffaw escaped Dex, and Sommer hiccupped giddily. "Your turn, King."
"Never have I ever propositioned my coworker." Here, he cast a significant glance at her, rubbing the label of his beer with his index finger, slowly, back and forth, just the tip of his finger. Abby missed watching who drank, knowing only that King did not because he couldn't move while she watched. Back and forth, back and forth...
"Abby," Sommer hissed, finally getting her attention. Starting, she sat up straighter, looking from Hedges to Dex to Sommer and back down at the table.
"Somebody's got a secret," Hedges swooned, salivating. "I think we need to include future proposals in that one."
"Agreed," King said, jovially, with a hint of gravitas. Working up her nerve, resettling her steely resolve, Abby looked him in the eye over the neck of the bottle as he drank to this new condition. You wish, she flashed, silently, purposefully not raising hers and doing the same. Just wait, he dipped one eyebrow and raised the other. He was a man who was used to getting what he wanted, Danica Talos notwithstanding. "Take it away, Whistler," he invited her.
"I never regretted sleeping with someone." Everyone but her drank. "You're kidding me," she rolled her eyes, "All of you are that loose?"
"Does my husband count?" Sommer sneered. "I don't regret having Zoe, but I regret that she was his." Dex rubbed her shoulders, soothing her with soft undertones meant only for her ears.
"Wow, Sommer," King breathed out in a rush, "you're good at this."
"Come on, Abby," Dex frowned at her, "You mean you've never wished you hadn't slept with someone?"
"Yes."
"That means she's gotten laid once," King jabbed a solemn Hedges with his elbow. "Twice, tops."
"That's not the question," she barked at him, gruffly. And it wasn't. "Moving on," she waited for Sommer to continue on around the circle.
"I've never played a stupid drinking game as an excuse to be bawdy," Sommer smiled, sadly.
"Amen," Dex tipped his beer to hers again, as did Hedges.
"What if I played as an excuse to flirt?" King played innocent, cupping his chin in his hands.
"That counts," Sommer giggled.
He drank.
