Disclaimer: Own no part of the Harry Potter franchise. Own story. Me Jane. Tarzan is in South Padre.


Eton Boys

Volume One


4 June 2001

Blaise-

America is insufferable. The women here are too thin to bear children and even the pure lack any knowledge or pride in their pedigree. They have more ridiculous names than all of the secret middle names in all of Europe. For example, Paradisa Cabot-Stiles. She's too blonde, too orange, and her bones are barely clutched by clothing or anything else that would keep her warm. She goes by Cabot (the most pedigree of her background; there appears to be a little dirtiness in her line and in her nature), and has invited herself to be my escort to nearly every event I've attended. Missing England terribly. Hope to return soon.

Draco

P.S. "Is Hogwarts like Eton?" Cabot seriously said that. Bring on Bullstrode. Anything but Americans.


8 June 2001

Draco-

You sound incredibly archaic- "too thin to bear children?" And when have you complained of barely clothed women? England misses its resident swaggering bachelor. New Minister (and who would have guessed): Percival I. Weasley. His sister acts as both his secretary and socially acceptable escort, and appears to be investing her time at balls searching for his future wife and talking Quidditch with the boys from my department. Charming woman. Did she attend Eton along with us?

Blaise


26 July 2001

Blaise-

Wish I could say I found Frecks as fascinating as you do. A few hexes on her part back at good old Eton prevents me from doing so. Is anybody interested in her brother? If so, I suppose England is as desperate as America.

Draco


31 July 2001

Draco-

As snobby as usual you are. Who wouldn't want to be sister-in-law to the rugged dragon-tamer Charles, the banker William, the twin entrepreneurs, and Witch Weekly's Socialite of the Year? The latter, it appears, is highly selective. She reminds me of your dreadful aunt in her pureblooded (surprise!) scheming. And as for my fascination with Frecks, what else do you remember of her Eton days?

Blaise


7 August 2001

Blaise-

I'm touched that you're so interested in what I'm doing. No really, I am a bit miffed.

Draco


24 August 2001

Draco-

Funny, I thought Pansy was the name of your former fiancée. Fine, Malfie, how are you doing?

Blaise


13 September 2001

Blaise-

Just now received your letter. Fortunately for the sake of our friendship, our written correspondence allows me to pretend as though you weren't being sarcastic at all. Nearly (and just barely) escaped the New York City tragedy. Have moved to the West Coast with the Ministry until further notice. Expect to see a very tan "Malfie" next time around.

Draco

P.S. For some reason, Cabot's tricked me into letting her come with. She's rather fond of me, but don't believe engagement rumors. The feeling is not reciprocated.


30 September 2001

Draco-

Glad to hear you're safe. A moment of silence, shall we? Nobody could have seen it coming, unless you want to believe Trelawney's shite. Too bad about Cabot; the papers are eating her up right now. Or rather, they appear to be interested in what's constantly not appearing under her skirts. Get yourself tested, man.

Blaise


4 October 2001

Blaise-

Appreciate your concern for my health. Following your command regularly, especially since Cabot appears to be even more orange as that appears to be the mark of a mating call here. As for Trelawney's shite, I take it you've never been in the legendary Department of Mysteries. Apparently some of that shite of hers is true. But who is going to believe some robe wearing "freak", especially one with a British accent? How is your "work", mate?

Draco


11 October 2001

Draco-

Appreciate your regard for my work. It is genuine work most days. I've been promoted from location locator (quite possibly the dullest work in the department) to dignitaries' relations. Meaning, mostly, I find places for dignitaries to stay and sit for most events. Only slightly less boring and only slightly more glamorous. Did you know that the Weasleys are related to you? Go figure…

Blaise


15 October 2001

Blaise-

Of course I did. I know everything. I think my great-great-great aunt married Frecks' great-grandfather? I've no specific idea but I am coming in town for the annual European Quodpot Challenge with the American ambassador to Britain. I'll be explaining Britain to him and he'll be explaining Quodpot to me. I don't know which of us has the easier job. Do make sure to get us good seats (and DON'T let Cabot talk you into getting her and her tarty little friends tickets), preferably with the upper crust…question, what is the upper crust now?

Draco


28 October 2001

Draco-

Self-made witches and wizards regardless of their occupations before the war. Which leaves Cabot out. Will try to resist her charms, but there's only so much close-up photos will offer me.

Blaise


29 October 2001

Blaise-

I'm sure you think you're funny. Does the upper crust include us then?

Draco


30 October 2001

Draco-

Never thought I 'd see the day when you'd stoop to ensure you were approved of by normal people. Yes, you dolt. Your accomplishments reach farther than the unspeakable deeds of your father, and this will be the last time I stoop to flatter you. Have we both really changed that much since good old Eton? I'd reminisce more but I have to rearrange seating arrangements for a self-made ex-brat and an American. Oh, the horrors.

Blaise

P.S. You're staying in a Scottish inn with the ambassador. Thought I'd get downright rustic for him.


31 October 2001

Blaise-

Hope this gets to you before we arrive. Ambassador is not man after all. Twas pleasantly surprised to discover this just before departing. Is there any way we can turn two Scottish rooms into one?

Draco


31 October 2001

Draco-

Hope this gets to you before you arrive. 1) No, I'm not that magical. 2) You Grim! Hope Cabot doesn't find out. American brats seem to throw the most publicized fits. 3) How does one work with the American ambassadors and not know theirs to Britain is not a man?

Blaise


31 October 2001-

Blaise-

Hope this gets to you before the game. Her boss had been sacked and I have just been royally shagged. God bless America.

Draco


1 November 2001

Blaise-

Why didn't you tell me Frecks had filled out? I had to try to look professional with the American ambassador without flaring up her jealousies!

Draco


2 November 2001

Draco-

I assumed (how silly of me) that you'd figure Witch Weekly was too shallow to name an ugly woman as Socialite of the Year. Speaking of, never did catch the American ambassador's name.

Blaise


3 November 2001

Blaise-

Neither did I.

Draco

P.S. I figured with this "Self-Made" revolution, they were praising her for being…I don't know…heroic.


7 November 2001

Draco-

You are one filthy Grim. How's Cabot?

Blaise


9 November 2001

Blaise-

She's making me meet her family over a very dreadful American holiday: Thanksgiving. They seem to be a bit like your folk, real hoteliers who've never lived in a real house. The American Ministry is returning to New York City soon. Send my love along to Frecks, will you?

Draco


12 November 2001

Draco-

I've lived in a real house before. Yours. Frecks says she's glad to know you're not a brat anymore, and I corrected her misconception. Enjoy your very dreadful American holiday.

Blaise

P.S. Will be going round to Eton the fourth Saturday of the month for a Hogsmeade weekend with some old classmates, like the good old days sans your tarty ex-fiancée. Would you like to take a mini-break and join us?


14 November 2001

Blaise-

Excellent timing, good man. Apparently this very dreadful American holiday falls only two days prior to your suggested mini-break and I can feign a business trip and regrets. Will meet you at the Three Broomsticks at seven; perhaps by then the students will have thinned out.

Draco


To be continued...

Next: The Hogsmeade weekend and Cabot and Blaise meet, and more talk of Ginny!