A/N: Hi, this is Jeremy. The topic of this story deals with the topic of eating disorders. I am a former anorexic and bulimic. I still remember vividly how I felt and how I sometimes go back to my starving techniques. I am writing this story to get a message across that men can have problems too and how we can deal with problems, good or bad. Hope you review my story so I can get the nerve to continue. Also, I hope this story helps someone in someway.

Ordeals of Life

Chapter One: Cam's Secret

Cam got out of his chair, finishing his usual nightly check-up of the zords. It was around 11:00 p.m. when he finished. It wasn't unusual for him to stay up this late. However, he was beginning to feel the energy drain out of him.

'After wishing for a long time to be a ranger, I finally got to be one. However, I didn't think that it would take up more of my free time. Oh hell, I usually don't do anything with it.' Currently Shane, Dustin, Tori, Blake, and Hunter were trying to convince him to let Cyber Cam do the work like he was created for so that Cam could hang with them. The rangers were trying so hard to make him more social and to get him outside in the fresh air once in a while..

After turning off his computer, Cam walked down the lonely hallway to his bedroom, tip-toeing so as to not wake Blake and Hunter up who had moved in for the time being. Silently opening his closet, he got out his green hooded sweater and put on, ready to go outside in the cold weather. Cam liked to travel out of Ops at night to go to the forests. He usually didn't do these trips a lot, but lately Cam had been going on them more frequently. He found that going to the forest really relaxed him. Everyone but Cam would have thought that all he did was walk around sorting through his emotions.

'But they don't know. Of course, the fresh air is really calming, but I can think of something more pleasurable and relaxing. I just hope that the team doesn't find out about it. They would never hang out with me if they found out that...' "Cam.?"

The green ranger was startled out of his mind by Blake. Apparently, Cam wasn't as quiet as he should have been. He began to sweat. He had hoped that no one would hear him go. 'Wait, what is there to worry about? He doesn't know anything about my 'sessions'. I'll just tell him I am going out for a late night walk. Nothing to suspect there.'

"Yeah, Blake?" Cam responded.

"Where are you going? I can always hear you go outside. What do you do? You don't come back for hours. It seems you have been doing that a lot. Something on your mind?" Blake asked with what appeared to be genuine concern.

"No. There is nothing to worry about. I usually go out on late night walks. It really relaxes me.

"You can do that in the daytime, Cam. Why not then?"

Cam had to think of a reason quick. Being a genius, he came up with a plausible one. "I like the night air. It is very cool and relaxing. During the day, it is very hot and noisy to me. Besides, isn't it always you who tells me to get fresh air?" Cam asked sarcastically in his usual manner.

"Well yeah, but I was thinking more of hanging outside with us. Me and the guys hate to see you cooped up in here. We are just thinking of you."

"Well, don't worry Blake. I promise to be more social. Besides, the only reason I am 'cooped up' in Ninja Ops is because I have to check the computer, zord, and upgrading systems to make them run smoothly. It is an important job, you know." Cam said defensively.

"Cam, I though that was the reason that Cyber Cam was created. With him around, you have more free time. Why don't you hang out with Hunter and me sometimes?" The thunders have been trying to fit Cam into their group. Maybe it was because they still felt guilty about trying to murder his dad, or maybe they just felt sorry for him and wanted to help out. "The guys and I never found out the reason that you still work instead of handing it over to your twin."

"Maybe it is because I just want to be useful." Cam whispered to himself.

"What was that?" Blake asked.

"Nothing. I am just saying that I still don't quite trust him after the 'tying me up in the closet and masquerading as me' incident. But don't worry. I'll eventually hand the job over to him, and I promise to be more social with you guys, alright?"

Cam asked, hoping that it would finally convince Blake.

He thought over what Cam said and responded, "All right. At least you promised me. Just remember, the gang and I are just trying to look out for you. Good night," Blake said as he hurried back to his bedroom.

Cam breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the navy ranger disappear to his bedroom and shut the door. 'I thought he would never leave.'

Putting the hood of his sweater over his head, Cam exited Ninja Ops and went on one of his 'walks'. He walked into the forest, gazing up at the sky. He continued walking around for about a half an hour thinking things over in his head.

'God, how did I get stuck with a life like this. When I was growing up, I had no clue that my existence would be a lonely one. I practically had no friends growing up, my mom died when I was young, and my father is a guinea pig. I didn't know life could really suck.'

Cam really had a lonely life. While growing up, he was always the outcast. People would either ignore him or make fun of him. His mom died when he was just a young boy, so he never really had an idea what it would be like to be held and loved in someone's arms. Of course he had his dad, but he was always busy with the students of the academy. Kanoi always felt like a Sensei to Cam, more than a father. He stopped at a big tree which had towering branches over his head. He sat down and decided to relax for a little bit. Within the quietness of the forest, his mind took a flashback to the past.

Cam was in the cafeteria at Blue Bay High. He was sitting with some of his very few friends. Occasionally, people would pass by and snicker at the 'geek table.' On this particular day, the guys sitting at the jock table started to walk over. Oh, how Cam envied to be one of them. He was tired of people making fun of him for being a geek with few friends. For once, he wondered what it was like to be at the top of the school food chain.

The jocks finally reached the table and sat down with them. By this time, the whole cafeteria was staring at them. It wasn't normal for the popular kids to hang out with such loners. Everyone spied on them as the jocks started the conversation.

"Hey, do you mind if we sit here for lunch?"

"Um, yeah you can sit here. I mean if you want to." Cam said nervously.

"Of course we want to, why would we ask if we didn't?" Michael, the best football player of the district asked.

At first, everything seemed normal. Everyone at the table seemed to be having a pleasant conversation. All of the cafeteria couldn't help but watch because they knew something was going to happen.

All of a sudden, the jocks took Cam and his friends' lunches and started to throw it at them. The guys tried to run, but half of the group was captured by the football players and held in place. The rest of the players began to ram food in the geeks' mouth.

"Why are you doing this?" Cam asked out loud to Michael.

"Come on, it is just fun. Besides, I can't believe that you would actually believe that we would hang out with such slime like you." Michael began to get to aggressive and started to beat Cam up. The aides, who were a while held back by the surrounding crowd, finally were able to get through and took Michael and his gang away. Cam couldn't help but cry. The worst part was that none of the students felt sorry for him. The only thing he could remember of them was them pointing their fingers and calling him things like "Geek, loner," and some remarks too horrible and nasty to mention.

Cam began to cry as he leaned back against a tree. He realized that his life really didn't change since then. He was still alone, and still depressed. Of course, his father didn't know he still felt this way. 'He probably would just say to get over it since he had made friends with the rangers.' He still thought, even with the rangers around, that he wasn't worth anything and that maybe they just all felt sorry for him.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Cam called out. "WHY CAN'T ANYTHING IN MY LIFE GO RIGHT! AM I MEANT TO BE ALONE LIKE THIS! IF I AM, I'D RATHER NOT LIVE AT ALL!" After this, Cam collapsed to the ground and cried for hours like he was a little baby. It was the only thing he could do at this moment. Sometimes, he wished he could just go to sleep and never wake up.

After several hours, Cam decided he better head back before anyone worries about him. He slowly got up and was just about to head back when, 'Oops, almost forgot.'

He put one of his hands and put it on the tree for support. Slowly, Cam started to lift his finger of his other hand. He thought about all the pain he felt inside, his stomach starting to hurt from it. He just wanted to escape the emotional suffering he had his whole life. He started to put the finger in his mouth and down his throat. Very quickly, Cam started to gag and spit, but he didn't stop. He couldn't, and he didn't want to. Pushing his finger farther down his throat, he began to feel the burning inside and the bile beginning to work its way up. The burning reached its peak and the bile kept rising, and rising, and rising. And finally, when Cam felt he couldn't take it anymore, he began vomiting. Even though it hurt so much, Cam felt at ease. It was as if all of his troubles were going out like his dinner was right now. After a couple of minutes, he was finished.

Cam began to walk back to Ops slowly after the excruciating yet calming 'session.' 'I feel great. All my troubles are gone for now. Who cares if people say that this is a disease. They obviously don't know what it is like to be lonely. Well, no one has to know. As long as no one finds out about this, I know that I will be okay.'

Little did Cam know, that he was very, very wrong.

A/N: Well, that is it for chapter one. Hope you guys review my story.

Jeremy