A/n: Vedui mellon-rim! (Greetings friends!) Wow! It's been a REALLY long time since I've updated! I am soooo sorry! FF was being an arse, and it wouldn't let me update! (-.-0) so it's a huge pain in da butt. -sigh- Any who, King Turkey, please read the reviews.
KT: Why can't you make someone else do it?
Me: Because you're the only Turkey that can read. And with Easter on the way, I would suggest you get reading…
KT: O.O 0 Fine. Messenger Turkey hands KT reviews and salutes to KT and bows to SS Thank you. MT waddles/runs off Ahem…

Merrymagic26: Why thank you! I worked really hard on that poem, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! Don't worry; the questions WILL get harder, so watch out! I was only fooling around with Legolas, not being a Mary-Sue, BTW! -grumbles are heard coming in the direction of SS-

Jeregrin Took: The dumb FF messed up my chapters, so I had to fix it. Sorry! Thanks 4 the review! I still can't believe you're going to do that to him! Poor Arry! SEE! I updated! Happy now? Good!

Hanna M: Hey! Are you still continuing your story, from the bedroom floor? Thank you so much for reviewing! And you're welcome for the review!

Strider's Girl: Actually, it was the of Doom! Yeah, it was embarrassing, but still funny... lol! Thanks for the review!

Spirit Mornea: Thank you! And yes... I wondered too... lol

Faeruvan: Your wish is granted, but I was going to add him anyways... lol

Bear over there: YES! I can't believe you are reviewing me! . I hath updadedeth for you so thou shalt not wreck thy world. Thy wish is grantedeth.

Lily the Bucklander: Thanks for the review and you're welcome for one! I'll read them, so don't worry! And I do love long reviews so thanks again!

And the winner is… -opens an envelope like the ones at the Oscars- Strider's Girl for answering Chapters 3 and 4 correctly! For doing so, I herby reward Strider's Girl a… -looks up with a pleading look on his face- Do I HAVE to say this?

SS: Yes.
KT: Fine. A…CYBER-TURKEY OF DOOOOOM! For answering the quiz correctly… -sigh- Whoopee.
-confetti showers down-

KT: Can I go NOW!
SS: Whatever.
KT: throws reviews behind him AT LAST! I'M FREEEEE! -skips off-
SS: O.o That, my friends, is the first time I've ever seen a turkey skip…interesting…alrighty then…uh, on with the fic…I guess… -Janitor Turkey sweeps up reviews and confetti-

(A/n: Remember: -action- thinking "talking" )

"BEEEEEP!"

"Goddammit Legolas!"

This was going to be a long day….

Chapter 5:

Three's Company

I ducked. The arrow had thankfully bounced off the glossy surface of the microwave, but it was now ricocheting off every façade it could find in the kitchen…. where I was…
"OH CRAP!" I yelped as I saw the flying arrow heading towards the invisible bulls-eye on my forehead!
When I opened my eyes, I was holding a scarred Teflon frying pan livid with panic.
"I'm dead, I'mdeadI'mdeadI'mdead…" I thought aloud. Just then, a white, erm, thing, drifted down between my face and the saucepan. I looked out behind my makeshift shield and staggered up onto my feet, and looked around to the sight of many white…things. I half walked half stumbled over to the disgruntled Elf who was pulling his no-longer airborne projectile out of a now featherless pillow whose contents were making the first ever indoor winter. A passionate yank from Legolas dislodged the arrow from the sad-looking cushion and casually put it back in his quiver. He brushed some feathers off his face and turned to me with an apologetic frown on his face.
"I am so very sorry Jenai! I was afraid that monster back there was going to attack you!" he stated. Translation: I'm sorry, but I can't help it if I'm a big chicken that's afraid of a microwave!

"Ah, well, forgive and forget" I shrugged. Translation: I know that you're a big chicken, Legolas. I looked around. Just about everything was covered in feathers. Including him. I smiled and tilted my head.
"You know, Legolas, those feathers do in fact bring out the real you." I motioned to the fluff covering his body from head to toe. "Ah, you got something, just there." I pointed to a feather sticking strait up on top of his head, that made him look even more like a chicken than an Elf. I grinned and sauntered over to the broom closet while Leggy looked on skeptically as I rummaged through it, deciding the regular vacuum cleaner wasn't exactly the best thing to use. Eru knows what would happen if he heard a sound like a million Uruk-hai in a mosh-pit! I for one did not want to share what Eru knew for a change.
"Aha! Here it is!" I shouted triumphantly. "A broom!" I handed him a dustpan. He took it and stared at me with a look that said "You want me to clean this?" And, so, as if reading his mind, I said, "No, I want you to help me. Now, hold it like this so that I can sweep the feathers into it. There, good!" After cleaning up the mess the old fashioned way, I decided to educate him. After he unwillingly put down all his weapons. School is now in session!
"This, Legolas, is the refrigerator. It extends the life of foods that spoil easily, like apples." I opened it up, freezer and all, and he watched in utmost interest. I opened the crisper and tossed an apple to him. He caught it gratefully, and to my horror, took a bite out of it…without running it under warm water…
"Ahh!" a strangled yelp that sounded like someone was putting snow down his pants emitted from Leggy and he put his hands over his mouth, dropping the apple, his face twisted in pain. I winced. I had bitten into a cold apple before, more times than I like admitting. Let's put it this way: it's like brain freeze for the teeth. I hurried over to the sink and filled a paper cup with warm water and handed it to the now hysterical Legolas.
"Now, put the water in your mouth and hold it there, got it?" I instructed. He nodded and removed his hands from his mouth and took the cup, doing what I told him. A small smile crossed his face as his teeth unfroze. I lead him to the bathroom sink.
"Are you okay?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed with concern. He nodded with affirmation, so I informed him to spit out the water in the sink. That I think is the first time I had ever seen someone spit out water gracefully. Quite amusing, really. I shook my head and went out of the bathroom, and I was just about to go into the living area, when I heard a CRASH and OOFfrom upstairs. Leggings had obviously heard it too, because he was leaning out the door with his ears pricked. We looked at each other and nodded. He ran to where his bow and arrows were stowed and in a matter of seconds was reporting for duty. I could literally see him in army pants and a dog tag. I fumbled through the under-stair storage and found what I was looking for: an aluminum baseball bat. (I'm not a paranoid idiot; our roommate's kids have Little League. So there. Okay, maybe I am a little paranoid…BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!) Anyways, I had the bat, Leggy his arrows, and the burglar, well, I don't know what he had, but we were gonna kick some derriere! Yeah! We crept up the stairs bat and bow in hand, a little excited for each of us. His eyes were shining in the hopes of an Orc to kill, as for me, well, I didn't really want a dead guy or Orc in my room, so I whispered:
"Don't shoot until we see who, or what it is, got it?" He saw eye-to-eye and agreed with my statement. My palms were sweaty and it was hard to hold the bat, so I wiped my hands on my denim skirt and took up my weapon once more. We tiptoed into the hallway and a little too soon, we were at my door. He furrowed his eyebrows and I was instantly curious what was going on.
"What is it-"
"Shh! I hear two people talking." Oh, great TWO burglars. Peachy.
"What are they saying?"
"They, no, one is saying-"
"CREAK!" Oh, no. The floorboards.
"Shh! They stopped talking!"
"Well, then we might as well get this over with, shall we?"
"Agreed."
"Then on the count of three…One…" I got my bat ready. "Two…" I put my hand on the doorknob. "THREE!" I thrust open the door. I grinned wolfishly as I saw who it was.
"I'll have you Longshanks if you touch him!" I yelled in a Sam-like tone, referring the 'him' as the other man. They stared at me for a moment, and then looked at each other with their mouths wide open. I couldn't hold it back any longer. I burst out laughing.
"HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! That, that look on your faces! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Priceless!" I continued laughing by butt off as they stared at me in disbelief. Legolas rolled his eyes and found the magazine he had used much earlier on today and used the same technique as before. I was calming down a bit, but still going.
"Does she always do this?" Boromir asked.
"Not always, but she seems to be able to laugh with great ease." Leggy answered, still fanning me. I had at last stopped giggling and I stood up, couldn't have guests not welcomed, now could we?
"Welcome friends! I am Jenai, and you will get to know me very well, and I you. I presume that Aragorn already have been acquainted with Legolas." At this, their faces took on a state of shock.
"How do you know our names?" Aragorn asked in an almost angered tone. I fumbled for the right words, but being the intelligent person I am, thought of an answer in about 3 seconds. I straitened up and made my expression as mysterious and unreadable as possible.
"The Trilogy shows many things: things that are, things that will be, and some things that have not yet come to pass." I quoted. Boromir and Aragorn were in awe, as for Legolas, being the Princeling that he is, was only amused. Boromir kneeled on a knee and bowed his head. A small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth, which I tried to hold back. This was too rich. I have the Boromir of Gondor at my beck and call. I am persuasive! Go me! My eyes wandered around the room, and met Aragorn's. This was the first time I had gotten a good look at either of them. I was so gone, and also amazed: they looked like them, but they were, somehow, younger... MUCH younger. I ripped my vision away from the handsome Ranger not wanting to seem rude and turned my attention back at Boromir, who, from the looks of it, was getting a leg cramp. I laughed inside and summoned him up to his feet. He appeared to be relieved and as I turned my back, I saw him rub his knee vigorously, as if he was trying to wake it up. Well, on with the processions!
"Since neither of you two know the goings on of around here, I guess I'll have to teach both of you!" I ushered them out of my room and as I closed the door, I could have sworn I saw an apparition of what looked like a painting of part of a forest floating in mid-air, but as I turned to see, it was gone.

A/n: It was short, I know, but then again, I only got 3 stinking reviews! Come on guys, REVIEW!
sigh Oh, yeah! Quiz Time and Didja Know! Huzzah!

Didja Know? Pippin wears a scarf! Woot!

Quiz Time! What does Gollum say the Ringwraiths are saying when they scream? (hint: O )

Okay guys! You know the drill! I want at LEAST 10 reviews before the next chapter, or there won't be one! Now, click on that nice little purpilish button down there and REVIEW!