A/n:
Vedui mellon-rim! (Greetings friends!) Wow! It's been a REALLY long
time since I've updated! I am soooo sorry! FF was being an arse,
and it wouldn't let me update! (-.-0) so it's a huge pain in
da butt. -sigh- Any who, King Turkey, please read the reviews.
KT:
Why can't you make someone else do it?
Me: Because you're the
only Turkey that can read. And with Easter on the way, I would
suggest you get reading…
KT: O.O 0 Fine. Messenger
Turkey hands KT reviews and salutes to KT and bows to SS Thank you.
MT waddles/runs off Ahem…
Merrymagic26: Why thank you! I worked really hard on that poem, and I'm glad you enjoyed it! Don't worry; the questions WILL get harder, so watch out! I was only fooling around with Legolas, not being a Mary-Sue, BTW! -grumbles are heard coming in the direction of SS-
Jeregrin Took: The dumb FF messed up my chapters, so I had to fix it. Sorry! Thanks 4 the review! I still can't believe you're going to do that to him! Poor Arry! SEE! I updated! Happy now? Good!
Hanna M: Hey! Are you still continuing your story, from the bedroom floor? Thank you so much for reviewing! And you're welcome for the review!
Strider's Girl: Actually, it was the of Doom! Yeah, it was embarrassing, but still funny... lol! Thanks for the review!
Spirit Mornea: Thank you! And yes... I wondered too... lol
Faeruvan: Your wish is granted, but I was going to add him anyways... lol
Bear over there: YES! I can't believe you are reviewing me! . I hath updadedeth for you so thou shalt not wreck thy world. Thy wish is grantedeth.
Lily the Bucklander: Thanks for the review and you're welcome for one! I'll read them, so don't worry! And I do love long reviews so thanks again!
And the winner is… -opens an envelope like the ones at the Oscars- Strider's Girl for answering Chapters 3 and 4 correctly! For doing so, I herby reward Strider's Girl a… -looks up with a pleading look on his face- Do I HAVE to say this?
SS:
Yes.
KT: Fine. A…CYBER-TURKEY OF DOOOOOM! For answering the
quiz correctly… -sigh- Whoopee.
-confetti showers down-
KT: Can I go
NOW!
SS: Whatever.
KT: throws reviews behind him AT
LAST! I'M FREEEEE! -skips off-
SS: O.o That, my
friends, is the first time I've ever seen a turkey
skip…interesting…alrighty then…uh, on with the fic…I guess…
-Janitor Turkey sweeps up reviews and confetti-
(A/n: Remember: -action- thinking "talking" )
"BEEEEEP!"
"Goddammit Legolas!"
This
was going to be a long
day….
Chapter 5:
Three's Company
I
ducked. The arrow had thankfully bounced off the glossy surface of
the microwave, but it was now ricocheting off every façade it
could find in the kitchen…. where I was…
"OH CRAP!" I
yelped as I saw the flying arrow heading towards the invisible
bulls-eye on my forehead!
When I opened my eyes, I was holding a
scarred Teflon frying pan livid with panic.
"I'm dead,
I'mdeadI'mdeadI'mdead…" I thought aloud. Just then, a
white, erm, thing, drifted down between my face and the saucepan. I
looked out behind my makeshift shield and staggered up onto my feet,
and looked around to the sight of many white…things. I half walked
half stumbled over to the disgruntled Elf who was pulling his
no-longer airborne projectile out of a now featherless pillow whose
contents were making the first ever indoor winter. A passionate yank
from Legolas dislodged the arrow from the sad-looking cushion and
casually put it back in his quiver. He brushed some feathers off his
face and turned to me with an apologetic frown on his face.
"I
am so very sorry Jenai! I was afraid that monster back there was
going to attack you!" he stated. Translation: I'm sorry, but I
can't help it if I'm a big chicken that's afraid of a
microwave!
"Ah,
well, forgive and forget" I shrugged. Translation: I know that
you're a big chicken, Legolas. I looked around. Just about
everything was covered in feathers. Including him. I smiled and
tilted my head.
"You know, Legolas, those feathers do in fact
bring out the real you." I motioned to the fluff covering his body
from head to toe. "Ah, you got something, just there." I pointed
to a feather sticking strait up on top of his head, that made him
look even more like a chicken than an Elf. I grinned and sauntered
over to the broom closet while Leggy looked on skeptically as I
rummaged through it, deciding the regular vacuum cleaner wasn't
exactly the best thing to use. Eru knows what would happen if he
heard a sound like a million Uruk-hai in a mosh-pit! I for one did
not want to share what Eru knew for a change.
"Aha! Here it
is!" I shouted triumphantly. "A broom!" I handed him a dustpan.
He took it and stared at me with a look that said "You want me to
clean this?" And, so, as if reading his mind, I said, "No, I want
you to help me. Now, hold it like this so that I can sweep the
feathers into it. There, good!" After cleaning up the mess the old
fashioned way, I decided to educate him. After he unwillingly
put down all his weapons. School is now in session!
"This,
Legolas, is the refrigerator. It extends the life of foods that spoil
easily, like apples." I opened it up, freezer and all, and he
watched in utmost interest. I opened the crisper and tossed an apple
to him. He caught it gratefully, and to my horror, took a bite out of
it…without running it under warm water…
"Ahh!" a
strangled yelp that sounded like someone was putting snow down his
pants emitted from Leggy and he put his hands over his mouth,
dropping the apple, his face twisted in pain. I winced. I had bitten
into a cold apple before, more times than I like admitting. Let's
put it this way: it's like brain freeze for the teeth. I hurried
over to the sink and filled a paper cup with warm water and handed it
to the now hysterical Legolas.
"Now, put the water in your
mouth and hold it there, got it?" I instructed. He nodded and
removed his hands from his mouth and took the cup, doing what I told
him. A small smile crossed his face as his teeth unfroze. I lead him
to the bathroom sink.
"Are you okay?" I asked, my eyebrows
furrowed with concern. He nodded with affirmation, so I informed him
to spit out the water in the sink. That I think is the first time I
had ever seen someone spit out water gracefully. Quite amusing,
really. I shook my head and went out of the bathroom, and I was just
about to go into the living area, when I heard a CRASH and
OOFfrom upstairs. Leggings had obviously heard it too,
because he was leaning out the door with his ears pricked. We looked
at each other and nodded. He ran to where his bow and arrows were
stowed and in a matter of seconds was reporting for duty. I could
literally see him in army pants and a dog tag. I fumbled through the
under-stair storage and found what I was looking for: an aluminum
baseball bat. (I'm not a paranoid idiot; our roommate's kids have
Little League. So there. Okay, maybe I am a little paranoid…BUT
THAT'S NOT THE POINT!) Anyways, I had the bat, Leggy his arrows,
and the burglar, well, I don't know what he had, but we were gonna
kick some derriere! Yeah! We crept up the stairs bat and bow in hand,
a little excited for each of us. His eyes were shining in the hopes
of an Orc to kill, as for me, well, I didn't really want a dead guy
or Orc in my room, so I whispered:
"Don't shoot until we see
who, or what it is, got it?" He saw eye-to-eye and agreed with my
statement. My palms were sweaty and it was hard to hold the bat, so I
wiped my hands on my denim skirt and took up my weapon once more. We
tiptoed into the hallway and a little too soon, we were at my door.
He furrowed his eyebrows and I was instantly curious what was going
on.
"What is it-"
"Shh! I hear two people talking."
Oh, great TWO burglars. Peachy.
"What are they saying?"
"They, no, one is saying-"
"CREAK!" Oh, no. The
floorboards.
"Shh! They stopped talking!"
"Well, then
we might as well get this over with, shall we?"
"Agreed."
"Then
on the count of three…One…" I got my bat ready. "Two…" I
put my hand on the doorknob. "THREE!" I thrust open the door. I
grinned wolfishly as I saw who it was.
"I'll have you
Longshanks if you touch him!" I yelled in a Sam-like tone,
referring the 'him' as the other man. They stared at me for a
moment, and then looked at each other with their mouths wide open. I
couldn't hold it back any longer. I burst out
laughing.
"HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHA! That, that look on your
faces! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Priceless!" I continued laughing by butt
off as they stared at me in disbelief. Legolas rolled his eyes and
found the magazine he had used much earlier on today and used the
same technique as before. I was calming down a bit, but still
going.
"Does she always do this?" Boromir asked.
"Not
always, but she seems to be able to laugh with great ease." Leggy
answered, still fanning me. I had at last stopped giggling and I
stood up, couldn't have guests not welcomed, now could
we?
"Welcome friends! I am Jenai, and you will get to know me
very well, and I you. I presume that Aragorn already have been
acquainted with Legolas." At this, their faces took on a state of
shock.
"How do you know our names?" Aragorn asked in an
almost angered tone. I fumbled for the right words, but being the
intelligent person I am, thought of an answer in about 3 seconds. I
straitened up and made my expression as mysterious and unreadable as
possible.
"The Trilogy shows many things: things that are,
things that will be, and some things that have not yet come to pass."
I quoted. Boromir and Aragorn were in awe, as for Legolas, being the
Princeling that he is, was only amused. Boromir kneeled on a knee and
bowed his head. A small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth,
which I tried to hold back. This was too rich. I have the Boromir of
Gondor at my beck and call. I am persuasive! Go me! My eyes wandered
around the room, and met Aragorn's. This was the first time I had
gotten a good look at either of them. I was so gone, and also amazed:
they looked like them, but they were, somehow, younger... MUCH
younger. I ripped my vision away from the handsome Ranger not wanting
to seem rude and turned my attention back at Boromir, who, from the
looks of it, was getting a leg cramp. I laughed inside and summoned
him up to his feet. He appeared to be relieved and as I turned my
back, I saw him rub his knee vigorously, as if he was trying to wake
it up. Well, on with the processions!
"Since neither of you
two know the goings on of around here, I guess I'll have to teach
both of you!" I ushered them out of my room and as I closed the
door, I could have sworn I saw an apparition of what looked like a
painting of part of a forest floating in mid-air, but as I turned to
see, it was gone.
A/n: It was short, I know, but then again, I only
got 3 stinking reviews! Come on guys, REVIEW!
sigh Oh, yeah!
Quiz Time and Didja Know! Huzzah!
Didja Know? Pippin wears a scarf! Woot!
Quiz Time! What does Gollum say the Ringwraiths are saying when they scream? (hint: O )
Okay guys! You know the drill! I want at LEAST 10 reviews before the next chapter, or there won't be one! Now, click on that nice little purpilish button down there and REVIEW!
