A/N: Again, another chapter. Wow, I didn't expect to write these chapters so quick. However, never fear. I plan to draw out the story as long as possible. BUT, that doesn't mean it's going to take me forever to finish the story. I just have a lot of stuff to get off my chest, and it just happens to take a lot of time and space and right. However, I don't think reviewers are going to complain of that anytime soon. Here's chapter seven.

Ordeals of Life

Chapter Seven: Life's Metaphors

Blake got out of the lake in his now drenched and freezing clothes. The rest of the team was still busy trying to drown Dustin in the lake. Of course, it was all for good reason. Dustin had pushed Tori in the lake when she was facing away. And somehow, he didn't know how, but the rest of team got involved in one way or another. It seemed to be about half an hour until he got out.

'Oh, I should get Dustin to dry everyone's clothes. Every time we get ourselves into something like this, it's always him behind everything. I love the guy, honestly, but sometimes I just have this urge to just hit him over the head with anything nearby. That's probably why Tori hits so hard, she's done it so many times on him. Can't say I blame her though. Her aggressiveness is one of the things that I like about her. Oh, I hope Cam brought something that quickly dries clothes...hey, where is Cam?'

He had finally noticed that their fellow samurai was not there.  He turned in every direction, but could see no sign of him. Blake couldn't help but feel guilty. Tori, Sensei, and his brother have been trying so hard to make Cam feel like a part of the group, not just in ranger duty, but also as a friend. He hoped that he didn't walk away feeling like he wasn't wanted. That was the last thing he wanted to happen.

Instead of contacting the guys straight away and worrying them, he decided to go look for him himself. He silently crept away from them knowing that their full attention was on killing Dustin. The first thought to check was the camp-site. He quickly streaked over since it was a fair distance away. However, when he arrived, he was surprised to find Cam not there.

"Where could he have gone to? "CAM, WHERE ARE YOU? Oh God, I hope he didn't run off."


Cam quickly got up from the tree, pausing a little to let the dizziness pass. He quickly took the inside of his green, long-sleeved shirt and wiped the blood from the blade. After carefully placing it in his pocket, he again took his shirt and applied pressure to his cuts to block off the blood flow. After doing this for several minutes, he rolled down his sleeves to keep his wrists and upper arms hidden and slowly walked back to camp.

He kept thinking things through his head as to how he would explain his absence. 'Oh, I'll probably just say that I didn't feel good and needed to take a walk. Hell, they probably haven't noticed that I left. They're always busy with each other that they probably forgot that I even came on this trip.

"CAM, WHERE ARE YOU?" That was Blake's voice. 'Oh shit, they did notice. I better get back quick. I hope they just accept my explanation. He cautiously streaked over, stopping a few yards just to evaluate the situation. Blake was yelling towards away from him. Well, Cam decided it was better to come out in the open.

"Blake, stop yelling. I'm right over here." He really wasn't going to like this conversation. He had no plausible excuse to explain everything.

"Oh Cam, there you are. I was wondering where you were. Where did you go? You could have helped us get Dustin."

"Well, I wasn't feeling well so I decided to take a walk. I guess I'm not used to riding in cars with a lot of people just yet."

"I'm hardly surprised. You've practically made Ninja Ops your dwelling. I know I've told you this, but you seriously need to get out more. There's so much to do out in the real world."

"Sorry. I guess I was so caught up in making everything run smoothly, I forgot there was such a thing as the real world."

Blake continued, "Well, now you know. Anyway, are you feeling alright now?"

'I guess that depends on your definition of alright.' "Yes Blake, it was just temporary." Cam looked down at his feet. He wanted so badly to tell people how he was feeling and what he was doing, but he just continued to make excuses. Maybe it wouldn't hurt.

"Are you in there, Cam? You know, maybe you should lie down and rest for a minute because you really don't look good."

"Oh, it's nothing. I'm just thinking about something." What he was doing was deliberating over how he was going to tell the others what he's been doing. He hated keeping everything bottled up inside. He felt like he was going to burst.

"Is it okay if I ask what it is?" Blake asked. He really wanted to know, now just for the sake of knowing, but so that he could help him. Out of everyone, he actually got closest to Cam first. Blake was never really comfortable around people. Even though Shane, Dustin, and Tori were his best friends, he didn't really know them enough to truly open up and talk freely with them. He always went to Hunter for that. However, Cam wasn't like the rest. Though he was annoying and sarcastic, people could tell right off the bat that he was a person you could talk to about anything, and he wouldn't ridicule or judge you. Cam was almost like Hunter in a way: brooding, quiet, good-natured, and caring.

"Oh, don't worry Blake. It's nothing." Cam said hoping that the navy ranger would go away from the subject.

"Cam, if there's one thing that I know about you, it is that 'nothing' is usually 'something' most of the time in your case. Listen, I know you've probably heard this conversation a lot, but all of us are here for you. If anything is bothering you, you can always come to us. That's what friends are for."

Cam thought about this for a moment. Friends. That was something that he wanted. He hated to say, however, that he still didn't know if the others were truly his friends. Somewhere deep in his heart, he just couldn't accept that fact. Maybe it was because he was afraid of getting hurt, maybe it was because he was scared to admit he might be wrong, or maybe it was because they just felt sorry for him. All that Cam ever wanted was to be cared for by people who did care. That was all he ever wanted. Having this lonely feeling hurt him down to the very deep reaches of his soul. And what hurt even more was not knowing if this could ever be fixed.

Slowly, Cam started to fight back tears. He practically did this every few hours. What was worse was that someone was watching him breakdown.

"Cam, what's wrong? What's bothering you?"

"Oh man. I'm crying in front of a guy. How embarrassing."

"Hey, you shouldn't feel embarrassed. All of us cry once in a while. Cam, will you please tell me what's going on? Don't tell me nothing, because I know there's something you're holding back. Please tell me, and I'll help you in anyway I can."

Cam looked at him for a few minutes. Maybe telling him wasn't going to hurt.

"Okay Blake, I'll tell you. However, can you promise not to tell the others? I don't want them to know just yet."

Blake thought this through. He didn't feel comfortable keeping secrets. Besides, by the way Cam was acting, it had to be serious. But this was Cam. How bad could it be? "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me."

Cam opened his mouth to talk, but before he could the others appeared in the distance.

Dustin: "Blake, forgive me. I didn't mean to start this whole thing, but please protect me. You have no idea how hard Tori hits."

'Oh damn it, Dustin. Did you have to run over here now?' Blake thought as he saw Cam's reaction. When Dustin appeared, he immediately shut his mouth and wiped his tears away as he realized what he was about to do. And he was so close.

"Dustin, don't you dare go running behind my brother like a coward. Come out here and die like a man." Hunter proudly said as he carried a gigantic tree branch as if it were a pitchfork.

"Charge!!" Shane and Tori said in unison as they both in a flash grabbed Dustin by the neck of his drenched, yellow t-shirt and held him in place as Hunter began to tickle him mercilessly. "Hey bro, why don't you and Cam come over here and read this scumbag his rights."

Cam and Blake looked at each other, both knowing that the conversation couldn't take place now. Not knowing what to do, they both came over to where the others were holding Dustin hostage and played along, not really caring about the game, but about the talk they just had and wondering if they would ever finish it.


It was around nightfall, and the gang had just eaten some hamburgers they made on Dustin's grill. None of the others could imagine how Dustin brought it over, but no one really cared. Anyway, after eating around a campfire and trying to scare each other with ghost stories, they all went to sleep. That is everyone but Cam. He still lay awake, shivering even in his thick sweater while he was zipped up heavily in his sleeping bag.

'God, I can't believe what I was going to do. I had nearly told Blake everything. I don't know why I was going to do that. I can't believe myself. How could I be so stupid?"

The samurai lay on the ground staring up into the night sky, thinking thoughts about himself like he usually did before going to sleep.

'No, there's no way I could tell them. They would never understand me. How could they? They have perfect lives, while I'm stuck in this miserable hellhole of one. There's no way they would know the pain that I'm going through. I guess I'll have to deal with it myself.'

After coming to that depressing conclusion, Cam's mind started to ponder many other things. 'I wonder if anyone in this entire world could understand how I'm feeling. I don't know what happened along the way, but somehow my life got totally screwed up. Hell, maybe it was screwed up to begin with. I just can't stand it anymore. I hate my life. I just wish that I could just start fresh with a new beginning just by wishing on a star, but I know life isn't like that. Life is too cruel to ever work out in humanity's favor. If that's true, then how come it seems like everyone else seems so very happy. They all seem content, appreciated, adored, and loved. I wonder what that feels like. I can't believe it, I forgot what it was like to be happy. Was I ever happy at all? I don't know. All I know is that I'm not now. How did I ever get to this point?'

Crying silently to himself, he slowly got out of his sleeping bag as to not wake the others and walked silently to the stream which was about a 15 minute walk away. He stopped and kneeled down to the ground, examining the way the rocks and water interacted. Cam silently realized and thought over similarities between life and the stream.

'In some ways, the rangers and the rest of humanity are kind of like the water. No matter what gets in the way, the water always continues to move forward, overcoming any obstacles it comes across. The stream continues to flow with life and radiance. The water keeps people alive and going. And the rocks are kind of like me. They are cold and utterly lifeless. No matter what's going on with its surroundings, they stay the same. Everything else changes and grows, while rocks just stay where they are, uncaring of the world, and left behind. And the only purpose of these rocks, is to get in the waters way and to weigh things down.'

Cam wished that what he thought wasn't true, but he couldn't help but think that. The rangers always moved forward with each other, so full of radiance, life, happiness, and strength to overcome anything. And he was the one left behind, the one of sadness, despair, and dullness, who always seemed to burden the others.

Unable to take it anymore, he reached into his right pocket and pulled out the blade. The blade, the only friend Cam ever had. He slowly turned it around to admire it. He couldn't help it. He absolutely needed it right now. However, because of this, he couldn't help but feel controlled by it.

'That's not true. I control it. I decide what hurts me, I decide how my life goes, and I decide what to feel.' Knowing where there this was going to go, he rolled up his sleeves and prepared himself. But before doing this, he reached into his other pocket, grabbed the food he had hidden from the others at the campfire dinner, looked down at in disgust while enjoying the pain that hunger caused, and threw all of it into the stream.

A/N: Sorry that this chapter is kind of long, but I'm trying to get more emotion and dialogue in it. Oh, this chapter was difficult. Everything that Cam felt, I felt before. Writing it brings the memories back. Anyways, hope you guys read and review.