Noah held on tightly to Kane's motionless body, desperately gasping for air and trying to keep his stinging eyes in something resembling open. He lifted his head slightly, even that too much of an effort. He groaned in pain and tried to instead concentrate on breathing.

The more he thought about it though, the more he realised he was in trouble, the tighter his chest got, and the stronger the gagging, searing pain in his throat was. He tried to shout for help – surely someone was inside looking for them – but the only sound forced through his lips was a pitiful rasping silence. He raised a hand to his throat and sunk to the side, onto the floor. He closed his eyes.

He regained consciousness a few seconds later to find something stroking the side of his head. His eyes would not open, too creased with agony to be forced. The pain in his throat was now unbearable, like someone had actually grated the skin from inside it. He could taste something in his mouth. Not quite blood, but it had a sort of metallic flavour, and left the skin in his mouth rough and slightly, strangely, crumbly. Whatever it was it hurt like nothing he'd ever felt before, it was unbearable. He would've been happy to die.

He heard, deep inside his head, an erratic chanting, like a prayer. It was a prayer… it was her.

She stroked his face gently all the while, praying constantly, shrieking loudly at times, occasionally adlibbing her own bits…

"Oh Lord free him from all evils, vanquish the Devils hold."

"Oh Lord I beg you to purge his soul, make him pure."

"Lord, through his suffering, make him worthy of you."

She spoke with desperation, her hands trembling. God would exempt her from the sin she had just committed, it was for the greater good of her son… or so she had managed to convince herself.

Noah opened his eyes slowly, painfully. It was real. He shut them tightly again and tried to imagine himself in some far off place – as he always did when she was having one of her turns – a beach maybe, with his dad.

"Oh sweetheart," his mother soothed, her voice piercing through his whole body, "its okay, mummy's here."

She saw the small pool of blood leading from his forehead, where he'd hit the ground as he collapsed. She watched with the tiniest hint of a smile as her seven-year-old son choked and coughed up blood pathetically on the floor.

Her hand felt like needles to his skin, boring into him. He tried to pull himself from her grasp but was paralysed by pain. He choked on the blood that he half coughed half vomited up, his body desperately trying to get rid of something.

She felt him begin to shake and wrapped her arms around his small body tightly. She leant her head onto his and whispered into his ear. "Shhhhhh baby, everything's going to be just fine. A little bleach never did anybody any harm."

Noah's whole body trembled with suppressed sobs, desperately trying to control the tears that were threatening. She wouldn't win, not this time. He wouldn't let her.

She continued. "Listen to me… listen. Everything's going to get better now, I promise. You'll be a good boy now. The Lord will reward you in heaven for your suffering." She paused. "Your dad would be proud."

A single tear squeezed through the creases of Noah's eyes, soon followed by many more. He couldn't control it, it hurt too much. He let out a strangled cry as the tears began to flush down his cheeks, colouring his face pink slightly. He leant his head into his mothers arms and cried against her. She had won.

"I hate you," he gasped, hardly audible. His devastated voice mingled with coughs and sobs.

"I hate you."

"I hate you."

"I hate you."

"I hate you."

"Noah… Noah, it's me… Noah can you hear me… Noah it's Kit." Her voice dripped with sincere concern. He'd been asleep for a good few hours, he'd been pretty restless the whole time and she'd just put it down to the pain, but over the last few minutes he'd started to mumble and groan and shout indistinguishable things out, then his breathing became faster and faster, his head turning from side to side frantically.

Kit grabbed his shoulders and shook him firmly, "Noah… Noah wake up… Noah."

Suddenly Noah found his eyes thrown open and his upper body thrust forwards, he had to get away. "Kit… I…" he breathed, panicky and trembling still, and his chest hurting from sitting up.

She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and tried to calm him down, "Shhhhhh… shhhhhh, it's okay now… I'm here… it was just a dream… just a nightmare… shhhhhh."

"I just… she…" Noah stuttered, "Kit…" He brought his hands up to his head and tried to control his tears.

Kit wrapped both her arms tightly around him, promising that she'd stay and wouldn't leave him. She found it strange though, she'd never seen him cry before.

Overwhelmed by everything, Noah broke down completely, letting go of all the pent up emotions locked inside for so many years. He leaned his body into Kit's and wept uncontrollably into her arms, unable to do anything else.

Eventually his tears and sobs subsided, and kit felt him drift off to sleep in her arms, completely exhausted. Slowly and carefully she moved his upper body back down to the bed, wiped away her own tears, and placed a lingering kiss on the top of his head. "I love you" she whispered.

A few minutes later when Flynn came to check on his patient, he found Noah and Kit both peacefully asleep, her head on his shoulder and her arm across his chest. He smiled to himself and left the room, wondering just how long it would take them to realise that they were meant to be together.


Kirsty lay with her head rested next to her boyfriend's and her fingers intertwined with his. They had been at Sydney General Hospital for a few days now, and Kirsty was waiting for Kane to come round from the anaesthetic from his third operation. This was hopefully the final one. He'd needed extensive skin grafts when he'd arrived, the doctors had taken the skin from his thigh and grafted it onto his back. It needed to be covered with a moist gauze like material which needed to be changed regularly, to allow the skin to attach itself properly to his back. Despite a few minor problems, the doctors seemed confident that he would recover from this, and that most of the feeling in his back should return, though he would need some physiotherapy. He was on a high amount of very strong painkillers, so couldn't really talk to his girlfriend between operations, only mumble sounds.

Kirsty had hardly left his bedside, only once when her Dad and Beth had come down to sort out where she was staying. They had decided that a hotel near the hospital would be the best option, even though her dad wasn't too happy for her to stay on her own. But Beth had convinced him that his daughter needed some time to be alone, and Kirsty had promised to call home everyday. She was planning on going to sort out her bag and some other things at the hotel that afternoon, the doctors had told her that Kane probably wouldn't wake up before then, and she knew she would never do it if she waited until he actually did wake up – he'd need her there for him.

"Babe" she said to him, speaking as naturally as possible, the way she'd been every time he was unconscious, "I'm just gonna nip back to the hotel for a few hours yeah," she brushed a few hairs off his forehead, "but I promise I'll be back soon, I'll be there when you wake up. See ya soon yeah."

She got up from her chair (that she had gotten to know oh so well over the last few days) and walked towards the door, blowing Kane an invisible kiss before leaving for the hotel, and trying desperately to ignore the thoughts that had plagued her mind ever since they'd arrived, of something going wrong.


Noah awoke to find half of Kit across him, he fidgeted slightly, embarrassed, and caused Kit to stir. Realising where she was she immediately sat back into her seat and pulled her arms off Noah, shocked at the position she had fallen asleep in.

The two of them sat in silence for a while, avoiding each others eye line, and both steadily turning red, Noah redder as he remembered what a fool of himself he'd made just a few hours ago. He still couldn't believe that he'd let himself go totally. He cursed himself inwardly, Kit must think he was so pathetic.

Finally he broke the silence. "I'm sorry about last night." He sounded hopeful, as if maybe she wouldn't remember, but also unusually quiet and slightly cautious.

"Don't apologise… it's ok" The last thing Kit wanted was for him to feel ashamed of it. Even though she'd realised just how messed up Noah was right now, and was worried about him, she was glad too, that he'd finally opened up to her a bit.

Noah nodded and looked down, biting his lip nervously.

"I'm…" Kit spoke, making him look up at her, "I'm here, y'know… if you wanna talk or anything." She tilted her head to the side, trying to work out what he was thinking.

"Yeah…" he looked at her, surprised at how nice she was being about it all (Kit not making some sort of sarcastic comment seemed very unlike her), but glad too, "thanks… I know."

He half smiled at her as their eyes lingered together for an increasingly long time, enchanted by each other, she returned his goofy grin and leaned in ever so slightly…

"Hey bro"

Kit and Noah immediately snapped back to reality as Jude walked into the room. Kit grabbed clumsily for her bag off the floor and on the third flustered attempt actually managed to pick it up. She made for the door, feeling her cheeks burning. "I've got… something to do," she excused herself, looking at Noah for one last time "I'd better go, see you later yeah" before rushing out of the room. She popped her head round the door a few seconds later, gave a "Hi Jude, sorry" and left again.

Outside Kit leant back against the wall of the corridor, biting her bottom lip. She couldn't stop the wide grin spreading across her face, she looked up, muttered 'thank you' and walked out of the hospital, to find something to do.

Noah stared at the door long after Kit had gone, equally unable to keep the smile off his face, though he had no idea why. After a few moments he noticed his brother giving him a funny look.

"What?" he asked, confused.

Jude laughed and gave a knowing smile, "Nothing" he chuckled. His brother always had been a bit clueless when it came to matters of the heart.


"Thanks mum." Kit took the cup of tea that her mum had made and placed it down on the table, Beth following suit and sitting down.

"So…" Beth started, "…how is Noah? It cant be easy, I'd imagine."

Kit shrugged, "He's just a bit messed up about it y'know… it's brought up some stuff."

From her daughters tone, Beth knew not to press the subject. After thinking for a moment, she diverted to something she needed to know. "Well, what about Uni love? Are you thinking of staying here a bit longer, it might not be too late to transfer to Northern Districts Uni, and we'd love to have you." Beth smiled at her daughter, willing her to stay, not ready to cut the apron strings quite yet.

"I know, I just… I can't leave Noah, not now." Beth gave her a knowing smile, she knew Kit better than Kit knew herself. "He was there for me when I needed him, and I'm gonna make damn sure I return the favour." Kit stated, determination in her voice.

"That's all it is, is it? A favour?"

Kit looked at her hands, suddenly very interested in her tea. "I… I still care mum," she replied, a little defensively.

Beth raised her eyebrows, her eyes sparkling.

"What?!" asked Kit innocently.

"Nothing." Beth took a sip of her tea, trying to suppress a chuckle. Kit fidgeted slightly, much to her mothers further amusement.

"Ok, ok" Kit gushed, "I'm still in love with him, I never stopped." The words rolled off her tongue as if they were the only words she could ever say again. It felt strange to finally admit it, to herself as much as to her mum.

Beth raised her eyebrows again, mirroring her daughter.

"Oh c'mon, we both know that's what you were thinking mum." Kit stated.

"Katherine," Beth retorted incredulously, "I'd never dream of insinuating such a thing!"

Kit laughed, she really did love being able to talk to her mum like this again, there was a time she had thought it impossible. She took a gulp of her tea.

"So…" Beth started again, thoroughly enjoying this chat, "How do you think he feels about you?"

Kit pulled a face and sighed, this was the million dollar question, and one that she didn't really have an answer to. She took a moment to think.

"I… I don't think he's too sure of anything right now… but today, at the hospital, we…" she trailed off and shook her head, she was being stupid, it would have been a pathetic thing to say.

"Go on…" Beth encouraged her daughter. Kit laughed at her mother and shook her head in bewilderment, Beth was like a giggly little school girl, excited by the latest playground gossip. Kit had never really experienced her like this before. But it was good.

"We…" she hesitated again, but seeing her mums expectant face she took control of herself, and forced her mouth to blurt the words out.

"We had a moment." She laughed to herself, "God, that sounds so stupid."

"No it doesn't," Beth gushed.

Kit chuckled again, wishing she shared her mums optimism, "Why are you so excited about this anyway?"

"My little girls in love, surely I'm allowed to be a bit excited," replied Beth, eyes sparkling more than ever. "So, go on, I want to know everything…"


Kirsty took a deep breath, and wrapped her fingers around her very heavy holdall for the sixth time, determined not to be beaten by a piece of material, and sure that kicking it and calling it names had worked (and hurt her foot). She breathed in and started to lift, making it over the rim of the bed, dropping it onto the covers, and crashing down beside it, red faced and breathless.

She turned her head to look at the bag again. She really didn't want to unpack; aside from the fact that she'd hardly had any sleep over the past few days, it would be like admitting that Kane's condition was serious. Keeping it on the floor, packed away, she could convince herself that she was only staying one more night, that it was just a holiday, that she would be going back to Summer Bay the next day, back to Irene's and whispering and giggling quietly in bed with Kane at night. But now in reality she knew she was going to be staying for a while, alone.

Slowly and reluctantly, she leaned over the holdall and unzipped it, the clothes that she had chucked in carelessly over the past few days lying creased on top, like icons of her current life, crumpled.

She started to unpack the various items of clothing, toiletries and other things she would need. Reaching down slightly, she saw a few of Kane's clothes and other bits and bobs, she smiled to herself, taking his green tank top out and holding the material between her fingertips. Really, it was amazing for her dad to offer to do this, maybe he had finally managed to get over the past. No. Kirsty corrected herself, it was no good having false hope, and it was Kane that mattered most now anyway.

She took the rest of the clothes out of the bag, his t-shirt still wrapped around the fingers of her right hand, it felt comforting to touch a bit of old Kane, allowed her to forget again. Her eyes scanned for anything she'd missed, and caught onto the corner of what looked like a beige envelope, tucked away in one of the side pockets. She pulled it out and read her name on the front, Beth's handwriting.

Slightly confused, she opened it up and pulled out it's contents. A lump rose in her throat as her eyes fixed on the two photographs in front of her. One of her and her family with a note written in black marker pen at the corner, her dad's writing.

Stay strong sweetheart. We love you.

The other photo was of her and Kane. Stood outside Irene's house, him behind her, his arms around her waist, smiles on both their faces. She wondered if she would ever be this happy again. A single tear traced its way down her face, running over her fragile cheekbone, finally stopping at her chin, clinging defiantly. She made no attempt to brush it away.

She held onto the two photos tightly and brought Kane's shirt up to her mouth, pressing her lips against it. Thinking of how happy they were hurt. When she knew that heir future together was now shrouded in uncertainty. What if he didn't make it?

Another tear fell, landing on the creased photograph. She wiped it away, leaving streaks of salty despair across her own smiling face. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard.

What if he didn't make it?

Thanks to Star for your review :) Hope that was NK enough for you :) I've figured out that this fics going to be pretty much half KK half NK from now on. And I've also planned the whole fic out, so I know where I'm going - it's gunna be about 19/20 chapters long hears groans sorry..