A/N: Hey, I am so sorry it took me long to update. I had the worst cold imaginable. Luckily, it all went away before Turkey Day. Anyways, I hope that none of you are so upset. Hope that you are happy with this chapter (or as happy as you can be with an angst story). Anyways, like I always say, on to the fanfic.
Ordeals of Life
Chapter Eight: Brotherly Love
Blake, Hunter, and Cam walked out of Tori's van as they were dropped off at Ninja Ops. Hunter was in an exceptionally good mood walking back to his temporary home. Of course, any day where Dustin was taught a lesson the hard way was enough to please anybody.
Dustin looked at the only two people left in the car, both giving him proud smirks and stares. He had to admit, he was pretty annoyed. He never really saw them act like this. "Um Hunter, mind if I stay with you, Blake, and Cam tonight? I'm scared of these two right now." "I'm not so sure you should. I'm no better. Besides, you deserve what you got today. Now, you've learned your listen right? Because I'd hate for you to go through your ordeal again."
Dustin quickly nodded his head as if he would drop dead the next second if he didn't. "Don't worry guys. I've learned my lesson." "Good. Pleasant dreams, Dustin." Hunter said with an ear-to-ear smirk. Dustin flung to the back of the seat like a little child as Tori drove off with him and Shane.
As Hunter waved continuously at the van disappearing into the distance, both Cam and Blake just watched the scene from a distance. Both rangers had thoughts running through their heads at the speed of light, though both very different.
Cam: 'God, I wish I had something like that with anyone on the team. But no, they're too busy with each other to notice such an insignificant speck like me. Oh man, I want to know what is wrong with me. I want to know what I ever did in life to deserve this. Please, someone let me know what's wrong with me so I can fix it. If I could just know. I hate being like this. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of being empty. I want to feel loved, and cared for. If I could get that feeling for just once.'
Blake: 'Frankly, I don't care if they hurt Dustin. He ruined everything. I know he didn't know, but he has this habit of coming in at the most inconvenient time. God, whatever is bothering Cam, it's something serious. I should have told the rest of them, but I don't want to betray Cam's trust. He had almost confided me about something, and I am not about to lose that trust. But, I need to tell someone. Maybe it wouldn't hurt if I told Hunter. He's my brother and I can trust him. Besides, he considers Cam one of the family. I hope we both can help him.'
Blake watched Cam carefully, knowing that he was deep in thought. Suddenly, he could see the samurai's eyes start to fill up with tears like on the camping trip. He could tell that he was using his full effort to not become a sobbing mess in front of him and his older brother. Blake mechanically reached out to Cam, but touched nothing but air when he ran inside ops straight to his room. Hunter watched the entire scene, unsure of what was going on when his third 'brother' practically stormed inside. He hurriedly walked over to Blake, wondering what had just happened.
"Blake, are you all right?" was the first thing that popped in his head. He knew that it was Cam who needed comfort, but he couldn't help it after being the protective sibling for so long. Besides, he knew that Blake wasn't feeling his best either.
"Oh, don't worry. It's nothing."
"Come on, I know you better than that to even consider that an option. Out of all the things you take from Cam, don't take his stubbornness."
"WHY DON'T YOU SHUTUP, HUNTER!!
Hunter was shocked by his younger sibling's outburst. "Hey, cool your jets. I was just telling you to truly tell me what's wrong."
"Well, don't bring Cam down in the process."
"What are you talking about? I was in no…"
"Have you considered that maybe Cam is to shy to share? Have you ever thought that he might be in a deep hole right now?"
"Hey, just calm down. Now what is this you're saying about him being in a hole and hiding something?"
"Well, at the camp…" Blake said before he stopped himself. He looked at the crimson ranger curiously as if inspecting him. He, as far as he knew, was the only one aware of how deep Cam's problem could go. He also knew that it was going to be very unlikely to finish the talk he and his troubled 'brother' began. Blake didn't want to lose his trust with Cam and probably ruin any chance of helping him. He continued to purse his lips together in fear that something just might slip out. "Blake, I know that you are hiding something as well. And I know it has something to do with Cam. Listen, if it is serious, I need you to tell me." When Blake showed no sign in behavioral changes, Hunter continued on. "Look, you're probably keeping this secret because you don't want Cam to get mad at you and lose your trust." 'How could Hunter just read me like an open book?' "However, it seems that he has trust in no one right now. All of us are trying the best we can to help him, but the problem is we have no idea what is going on with him. It seems that you might know something. If you do, please tell me? I care for him too, you know."
Blake pondered what he said. He knew that everything he said was true. Both he and Hunter looked up to Cam. Both felt comfortable being in his presence. They didn't know why, but he had a soothing effect on them both that no one else had. After that, they considered the samurai part of their little family and practically stuck by him from the moment they started fighting on the winds side. Seeing their brother so upset just crushed them.
"Hunter, we need to talk." The older one couldn't help but sigh in relief by his brother's answer. "Shouldn't we go get Cam?" "No, not yet. I have a feeling he needs to be alone for a while."
Cam slammed the door and locked it as he stepped into his bedroom, his oasis. He put his hands in front of his face so as to hide it from the world and screamed into them. He flung himself on his bed like a little child in a tantrum and continued to scream into his pillow.
About 15 minutes went by before he slowly lifted his head and looked at the door. "Look at that. I practically run away from Blake, clearly breaking down, and he doesn't even bother to check up on me. I guess this proves it. He doesn't even care. He probably just felt sorry for me. Well, that's going to be the last time I share anything with him or anyone." Cam slowly filled with rage and began to punch the bed. He couldn't help it. He needed to let it out. The samurai began to kick and punch everything in his room. Vases, the bed, the floor, the wall, and eventually a mirror all bowed and were punished without mercy beneath the green ranger's fury.
He went into the bathroom still in a rage, and did a quick punch to the mirror, now bruising and cutting his already bruised hand. The stinging of it brought his rampage to a halt as he stared at his bleeding hand. Instead of normally cleaning the cuts up and bandaging them, he just pushed his back against the wall and continued to watch the small amount of red liquid start to flow out and cover his fingers. He marveled at the feeling. It was almost like his blade caressing him. Cam slid slowly down the wall down to his knees and just continued staring at his hand, relishing in the pain that was happening.
However, his relaxed state soon became a sobbing state. "WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH ME? I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE? What the hell am I doing? Do I even want to know?" He slowly let the tears flow freely from his now dark and blank eyes. He looked down at the broken shards of glass and the messed up bed in the next room. In a way, he kind of felt jealous of these inanimate objects. They couldn't feel anything happen to them at all. They just stay still, letting the world get caught up in their troubles while they stood where they were, care-free. And if by any chance they got caught up in the troubles, they couldn't feel the hurts, see the pain, nor
have to get involved with nasty messes like him. Cam silently sat in shock of what he just thought. "Now I know that my life is pathetic," he said to himself as he fell on his side.
"So Cam just started crying in front of you?" Hunter asked Blake in astonishment.
"Yes, I kept asking him what was wrong, and he started to breakdown."
Blake and Hunter were still outside so they couldn't hear their friend's tantrum inside. The older one just took all that information in. Out of all of Cam's actions, this was by far the most surprising one of them all. He thought he knew that he knew him well enough, but he kept surprising him. "But Cam's not one to show his emotions in that way, not even in rangering."
"Exactly, which just confirms that whatever Cam's going through is something very serious. And the thing that makes it even more serious is the fact that he is hiding whatever it is very well." "Did he tell you what was going on?" "No, before he could, Dustin interrupted our conversation and he stopped himself."
"Ah, so that's why you seemed pissed when we came by. Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know what was going on," Hunter apologized with genuine honesty.
"No matter, it wasn't your fault. It was that damn idiot, Dustin." "Hey, calm down little bro. Dustin didn't know, and besides, we were following him. One of us was bound to interrupt." Blake thought this through and agreed with it. "Still, one of the rare chances we could have helped is now discarded." Hunter said, "Hey, don't give up yet. There are still plenty of chances we could help." "I hope so, because I have been trying to get Cam to talk to me, and now he takes the art of ignoring to a new level."
"Hey, come on. Cheer up. We're the Bradley Brothers. We can accomplish anything." Blake looked at his brother, inspecting again. Though the look on his face was that of humor and happiness, his eyes showed that deep down, he was as concerned about Cam as much as him. He guessed it was because that most of the people he cared about disappeared. His parents were both dead, and his ninja friends were being held captive on Lothor's ship. Hunter cared about Cam now and he didn't want anything bad to happen to him. Blake felt the exact same away. Jokingly to lighten up the mood and with just a bit of courage, he stated, "You're right. We can accomplish anything. And I know that we can get through this." 'At least, I hope.'
Meanwhile, Cam fell on his side and gazed into his bedroom as if the answer to all his problems was there. But no matter how hard and long he looked, he thought, he would never find the answer. Maybe there was no answer, or maybe the answer was too difficult to comprehend. However, he knew that still left him with nothing but heartache and pain. "I never knew that life could be so empty. If it's empty, how come I still feel something with me, something I don't want. If my life was truly empty, I shouldn't be able to feel anything. I would give anything to not feel a thing, because then I couldn't feel the pain of life. Maybe it would be better if I didn't exist."
Cam always thought this. Some of the time, he thought about killing himself. However, he could never bring himself to be able to. He actually tried suicide when he was about 13 when he tried to overdose on some sleeping pills his father used to have. He ended up spitting them out before he even started to swallow. No matter how hard life got, he couldn't bring himself to do it. And some of the time, he just wanted to.
"I guess I'll have to settle with what I can do for now." Thinking of his upcoming 'session', he settled into an uncomfortable rest. Sure, he could have gone to the bed if he wanted to. However, he felt that he didn't deserve any help. Whatever happened to make him this way must have happened because it couldn't have happened any other way. So instead of going to the warmth and the smoothness of his bed, he chose to sleep on the cold, and rough floor of his bathroom not because he was too tired to move, but because he deserved it.
A/N: I hate making Cam suffer. However, he has to suffer more in order to realize what he's doing. Anyways, hope you guys review and tell me what you think.
