Something Corporate

Chapter 13:

When the door closed behind Pips, Kaiba sat back down in his large leather chair. He motioned for Marik and Malik to sit down as well. They sat and Kaiba cleared his throat, "Well, Marik… and Malik, I know all about what you did regarding the Miniport and I don't"

"Wait! Please, we're sorry Kaiba!" Malik got on all fours and pleaded, "Please, don't chop us up into little pieces and eat 'em!"

"Malik, calm down…" Marik covered his face in embarrassment.

Kaiba rolled his eyes, "So unprofessional. Anyway, I didn't call you here to eat you. I wanted to make a deal with you."

They cocked their heads to the side in question. Marik grinned and nodded, "Oh, yeah, Pips said something about that. So, let's hear it, Mr. Bigshot. What's your offer?"

"Hmm." Kaiba turned his chair to face the wall and thought for a minute, 'I have to play my cards just right if this is going to work. Marik may not be as smart as I am, but he isn't blind. I gotta make it seem like he's getting the better deal…'

After Marik got his hikari up off the floor, he began impatiently tapping his fingers on the desk. "Kaiba… I'm getting bored over here."

"Do you have any diet Green Tea, Kaiba?" Malik asked.

Kaiba grunted, "All right, already! Marik, you know you want to sell the Miniport. So, sell it to me before the public finds out it's malfunctioning."

"H-How'd you know?" They both asked in shock.

"Oh please! Anyone with half a brain would've figured it out by now."

"The general public hasn't figured it out."

"That's my point."

Marik cleared his throat and said, "Okay, okay… But the question is how much are you willing to spend?"

"Marik…" Malik tugged on his yami's sleeve, "Marik, I just"

"Not now, Malik. Can't you see I'm trying to negotiate over here?" He turned back to Kaiba, who was writing in his check book.

Kaiba ripped out a piece of paper and slid in across the long, hardwood table, over to Marik and Malik. When Marik caught sight of it he whistled, "Whoa…"

"So, do we have a deal?"

Marik nodded, "Hell, yeah"

"Wait a minute, Marik!" Malik tugged on his sleeve once again, "Don't we both get a say in this?"

"Why are you complaining?" Marik lowered his voice and leaned towards Malik, "It was your idea to come down here and try and get out of this."

"I know…" Malik whispered back, "But something doesn't seem right."

"For Ra's sake… is this about your 'hikari's common sense' thing again?"

"Well, actually!" He put one of his hands on his hip and was pointing at Marik with the other, "Yes, it is. I mean, come on, don't you see the signs?"

"Oh, so now we're seeing signs!"

"Duh! Think, if Kaiba knows about the way the Miniport is malfunctioning, why in the world would he want to buy it from us for that much money? Don't you think it could be a trap? Don't you think he could be setting us up?"

"…" Marik tilted his head, "So, what's your point?"

"Ahhh!" Malik grabbed his hair and fell to the floor, "I give up! I give up! I give up! I give up! I give up! I give up! I GIVE UP!"

He groaned, "Here we go!"

Meanwhile, at the other end of the table, Mokuba was awake because of all the screaming and rolling around that Malik was doing. He and his older brother were starring at the hikari and yami who were engaged in a verbal fight of epic proportions.

"Jeez…" Mokuba gasped in awe, "And they do this every time…?"

"Yep. Man, I wish I had that amount of energy." Kaiba nodded.

"I hear ya…"

Kaiba stood up and walked over to Marik and Malik who were sword fighting with pencils. He pulled Malik off of Marik and sat him down gently on the floor.

"Now," He began slowly, "Are you two ready to talk this over like civilized human beings? Or are you just going to kill each other… again?"

They looked at him then nodded with shame showing all over their faces, "'Kay."

He reached inside his coat pocket and threw a rather large stack of important looking papers on the floor in between the two. Kaiba went over to the door and motioned for his brother to follow, "When you're done looking over the contract, I'll be back."

The door closed behind the two Kaiba brothers. Marik picked up the stack of papers and skimmed over the first page. "Yep. Looks legit to me. C'mon let's sign and get this over with."

"Hey! Marik, if we're going to do this, let's at least do it right. We've gotta read this thing all the way through."

Marik pouted, "But it's gotta be a bazillion pages long…! I don't wanna!"

"Oh, you're such a child!" He grabbed the papers and started to read down the page. "Hmm…. Okay…. Yep…. I know some of these words."

"Ugh!" Marik groaned, "This is going to take a while."

Outside the door, Kaiba, Pips and Mokuba were listening intently with their ears to the crack of the door. It had only been about five minutes or so, and Kaiba suspected it was going to take a lot longer if Malik was going read the entire thing.

"You don't really think he's going to read the whole contract, do you Seto? This could take days! Weeks!" Mokuba complained.

"No, he won't read it all." Kaiba answered, "He's got the attention span of a fly. In about another minute or two, he'll throw it down and say: The hell with it!"

Pips shivered, "Oh dear…"

"What?" They looked at him.

"I… I just feel so dirty. For tricking them like that, I feel terrible."

"Now is not the time for guilt, Carter. If this works out, you'll be able to come back and work for me. I'll even let you do my laundry again, doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Oh… yes, sir. So much fun."

"Don't sound so sad, Carter." Mokuba turned to him, "You said you didn't think of them as well as you used to. They're crooks."

"Yes, I know, Mr. Mokuba. I know they need to be put back in their place. But they were the only ones who were ever nice to me… when I didn't have a job."

Kaiba waved away the comment, "You can't be nice in the business world."

"… I guess not."

Malik was struggling, still reading the contract. He had to take out a dictionary from Kaiba's bookshelf and used it to translate the majority of the words into simpler terms.

Marik was sprawled out on the floor, drooling and snoring loudly. He was mumbling in his sleep and tossing over occasionally. When he rolled over on his hikari, Malik growled in aggravation.

"Marik!" He yelled when his yami's body was on top of his foot, "Your making my leg fall asleep!"

"…gurgle…"

"Hey!" He shouted at Marik, who was dead to the world.

"…frumble…"

He slapped himself in the forehead and sighed, "Oh, I give up. I'm done reading the stupid contract."

"Cool." Marik popped up and took out a pen. He signed the front page. "Okay, now you sign."

"…" Malik hesitantly signed the paper, "There… I guess it's official."

Suddenly, the door burst open and Kaiba came stampeding into the room. He looked down at Marik and Malik who were on the floor. He walked over and bent down to grab the contract, "You both signed, right? Good. Here's your money."

Kaiba pointed to the check on the table and Malik grabbed it. They turned around to Pips who was standing in the doorway.

"Well, Pips," Marik began, "We just sold the Miniport to Kaiba Corp. That means that since we don't have a product, we don't have a company… and if we don't have a company… you kinda don't have a job."

"It's nothing personal, Pips! It's just"

"Say no more." Pips raised his hand, "I understand."

"Oh, but how will you live?" Malik made a dramatic fainting gesture with his hand, "Are you destined to forever live in the gutters of Domino? Are you forever condemned to the life of a hobo with a dead dog? Will you be forced to eat out of a dumpster?"

"Malik, please…" Marik groaned.

Pips chuckled, "It's quiet alright. I'll get by, I promise."

"Let's go, Malik." Marik grabbed his hikari's shirttail and dragged him out of the office while Malik called out, "Goodbye, dear friend!"

When the door shut, Pips wiped a tear from his eye, "I shall miss them. Wherever I am, I will never forget the two young criminals from Domino."

"Oh for crap's sake! They live right down the street!" Mokuba cried out, "You're a bunch of drama queens."

Kaiba shook his head, "Never mind them. We've got work to do if we want to get the most out of this." He held up a tape recorder, "They're not off the hook yet."