Jack's stomach had done strange, strange things when the airman told him Doctor Fraiser wanted him to report to the infirmary. He knew she would be there and it made his insides flutter in anticipation and clench with dread at the same time. It was an unappealing combination but he wouldn't let any of that conflict show on his face.

When Jack arrived he was approached instantly by Janet; she'd obviously been waiting for him.

"Colonel O'Neill?" she asked, as though he was someone she'd never before met in person.

"Yeah... why did you want to see me?"

Janet seemed to study him a moment then her voice dropped and she said, "I need your help."

Jack's head ticked slightly in question. He really didn't want to be there... really, really.

"Sam," Janet began, and she noticed him go stony-faced and even paler at the name. Janet refused to let it deter her, because Sam looked like she was in a bigger mess than he was. "She really needs to get out of the infirmary, get cleaned up and eat something, but she won't leave the baby alone with anyone but you."

Jack felt his heart racing and he stared at Janet as though to ask her 'how could you do this to me?' but in her eyes was the answer and it made him worry. Sam was in bad shape and she was top priority, Jack's discomfort be damned.

Janet's expression was serious and understanding. "I just need you to be here, I can actually tend to the baby, but Sam won't leave unless you're physically with the baby."

Jack swallowed and tried to drown out the thundering of blood in his ears. "Yeah, okay."

Janet nodded and motioned him further into the infirmary. As they neared the curtained bed Janet called out, "Sam? The colonel's here."

The curtain pulled aside and Jack saw her and it... hurt. It was the best word for the crush that assailed him. He knew it was Carter, he knew Sam on sight, but part of him saw Thera against all his best efforts. He remembered the nights in their little corner, he remembered holding her, he remembered what it was like to kiss her, he remembered what it was like when there had been nothing to stop them. He remembered what they'd been like when it wasn't against the rules, and that it had been incredible. It all rushed at him as he looked at her, hair longer than Carter ever kept it, decked in white infirmary clothes while he'd changed into fatigues, her body different than Carter's had ever been because it was still molded to pregnancy.

Jack took a breath and hoped it would keep him sane.

Sam glanced at him, flushed, then looked nervously away and cleared her throat. "Sir."

And Jack felt his world crashing. 'Sir,' that single wretched word. It was the death toll of the people they had been, the couple who had loved freely, not knowing they were not allowed each other. It was the dying breaths of the man and woman who'd had a child together.

Jack's hands went into his pockets and it was a very Jack gesture and somehow it made him ache. "Carter."

She looked as crest-fallen at her proper surname as he'd felt at the 'sir'.

But he would not fall apart, he would not. "Fraiser says you need to take care of some things; you go ahead, I'll stay... I'll stay with the baby."

Sam gave a feeble nod, still would not look at him, then moved to leave. She had to walk by absurdly close to him and almost involuntarily her eyes moved up to his face as she passed. Thera and Sam met in a strange amalgamation and he felt Jack and Jonah both respond to her.

It was confusing and frustrating and frightening and he looked away before it could devour him.

Janet was escorting Sam to the door and Jack wandered closer to the bassinet set up near the gurney. It was like a black hole pulling him in. He'd tried so hard not to think about the tiny creature inside that plastic bin more times than he could count. It was a part entirely Jonah's and Jack felt he had no right to her. But Jonah was in him, the memories were technicolor real beyond denial, and he couldn't stop his feet from carrying him to the infant girl's side.

Jack looked down at the baby, fidgeting softly in her sleep, and everything got so god damn hard. Him being Jack, Sam being Sam, it was acid in his veins, eating through his core, torturing him from the inside out. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He couldn't embrace Jonah for Charlie, and he couldn't embrace Jack for this little girl. Where did that leave him?

How was a father supposed to choose between his children?

"You can sit in my office if you want," Janet's voice suddenly said at his side and he startled and looked down at the doctor. He remembered her all right, and that compassionate look she had in her eyes was an old acquaintance.

"How is she?" Jack asked and nodded toward the closed door after Sam.

Janet frowned and seemed to consider how much she should tell him. She weighed doctor/patient confidentiality and the fact that the man asking was the father of said woman's child. She finally sided with the latter.

"She's really confused and upset. She might be dealing with some postpartum depression on top of everything else and I think she's just... overwhelmed."

Jack would not care more than he was supposed to, he would not care more than he was supposed to.

"Will she be okay?" he found himself traitorously asking.

Janet sighed and looked down at the baby. "I think so but I really can't say. I've never seen her like this. The only time that comes close is after Jolinar died." Janet smiled sadly at the infant and offered gently, "She doesn't think the baby's really hers."

Jack looked down at the little girl, remembered so many Jonah memories, so many memories of Thera, and he muttered under his breath, "Is she?"

Janet looked up sharply at him and Jack didn't take his sad, torn eyes from the baby.

"Despite how confused Sam is I can tell she loves her daughter. That makes her a mother." Janet, mother to an adopted daughter, was adamant in that belief.

Jack wanted to believe her and didn't all at once.

"Sir, if you'd rather not literally watch her..."

"I want to," he said before he could stop himself but Janet didn't smite him for the need. She only nodded and quietly disappeared from his side.

And Jack was alone with Jonah's daughter.

Jack stared down at her as she twitched and vocalized restlessly in her sleep. She was a beautiful baby. Barely more than a day old but she'd grow up to be a looker like her mother, Jack knew that much. She'd probably have light brown hair and brown eyes, he'd seen it before. O'Neill brown eyes and brown hair were just dominant over blue eyes and blonde hair. He imagined she'd have Sam's brains but his devil-may-care exterior to cover her Carter-wit and intellect. He pitied the person who would underestimate her, because on top of her genius she'd have some of his dark streak, too, but she'd harness it and make it work for her. She'd never be hurtful or spiteful like he could be. No, she'd be better than him. She'd be loving and gentle, never cruel. She'd love fishing but would never actually want to catch a fish. She'd look at the world with the excitement and wonder that would still glow in Sam's eyes even after all the horrors they'd seen, and she'd make him remember how to be amazed at life, too.

The baby stirred, pulled open her eyelids, and looked up at him through bleary eyes.

Jack's breath caught ever so slightly. He realized she looked a lot like Charlie had as a baby once he let himself see it. And why not? She was his half-sister.

"Hey, shh, shh, shh," Jack whispered before the baby could make a sound of protest. She just laid there and stared up at him but he could almost hear her silently ask to be touched, to be validated and claimed, to be held, to be his daughter.

He couldn't believe he'd ever thought, even for a second, he could turn away from her any more than he could turn his back on the memory of Charlie.

Jack, unable to fight the need to do so, reached in and picked up the baby. She waved her arms at him and stared up into his face as he brought her closer.

Jack felt something he'd thought long-dead stir within him and he knew Janet was a very smart woman. He should have learned by now to trust sight-unseen that she was right.

"It's all right," he cooed and the baby made a sound at his voice and her wet tongue poked out of her perfect, pursed lips.

Jack smirked and brought the baby to his chest, holding her against him and staring down at her. The baby cuddled into his side, folded with trust, a daughter's trust in a father, and Jack knew then he could never leave her. Whatever happened with him and Sam, however their impossible situation fell into shape at the end, he would be there for his daughter. She was more important than his little identity crisis or his confusion about him and Sam.

And she was his daughter. Even not knowing himself at the time he was responsible for Jonah's actions. He was accountable. It was made both easier and harder that he remembered everything about being Jonah, including the feelings that had created the little girl in his arms. They were honorable and right, in spite of everything, and so the child he held could never be wrong.

The baby was a tiny patch of solid heat against his side and it made him remember walking Charlie to sleep in the middle of the night. Those sleepless, mindless good days. Fatherhood, which he had buried so deep to save himself, was hurtling back to him and he found a pure glee in its return. He'd missed being a dad, more than he could have bared to let himself admit before that moment. Holding his child secure in his arms he could feel that paternal rush again and it wouldn't leave only a gaping sore and as such he dared to let it engulf him once again.

Jack slowly paced the infirmary, half an eye on where he placed his feet but the rest of his attention riveted on the baby. She was a little smaller than Charlie, he noted, but Charlie had been born to a woman with all the modern conveniences available to her. This child had been conceived and born to a mother living as a slave with the harsh and sparse conditions that way of life entailed. It was probably a miracle she was as healthy as she was considering her prenatal environment.

She seemed more delicate than Charlie, too, though back then Jack would have been aghast to think anything could be more fragile than newborn Charlie O'Neill. He thought it must be the fact she was female... or maybe it was something purely Sam in her.

He knew one similarity for certain, she was just as precious and captivating as her half-brother and Jack could barely take his eyes off her.


After Sam was on her way to the showers and Janet had made sure Jack was willing to watch the baby, Janet left Jack alone with the baby to call General Hammond. She felt safe leaving him unsupervised. Whether he was just as flustered and confused by the baby as Sam or not, one thing that was universally constant about Jack O'Neill was his love of children. She could have left any child in his care, regardless of his mental state, and know with absolute certainty no harm would come to the youngster. For all the things untouchable, battle-hardened Jack O'Neill could do in the line of duty, he could not hurt a kid.

Janet dialed the base commander's extension and within one ring Hammond answered.

"Hammond."

"Sir, it's Doctor Fraiser."

"Yes, Doctor, how is everything with our people?"

Janet winced to herself. "Well, sir, good and bad."

"Explain."

"I can report, with confidence, that Major Carter had regained memory of her true identity. That covers all surviving members of the former SG-1."

"That's certainly good to hear. And the bad?"

"Major Carter's having some trouble adjusting."

"How so?"

Janet sometimes hated the fact she had to report to Hammond in such detail when her physician inclinations told her to keep it private. "Well, sir... I think it's requisite to be informed first that Major Carter has verified that Colonel O'Neill is the father of her child."

There was a pause on the other end and Hammond sighed. "I think we'd all concluded as much but still... I take it this is the reason Major Carter's 'having some trouble'?"

"Yes, sir. She's recovered her own memories but she still possesses the memories of Thera, too, and well... as you might imagine those contain some rather... confusing content for Major Carter."

"Undoubtedly. How's she doing right now?"

"I just sent her to the showers and the mess hall. Frankly, sir, I thought she needed some time alone to think. She had a... an 'episode' for want of a better word a little while ago and I think she needs some space to clear her head.

"I have to confess I'm worried about her, General."

"What do you recommend we do?"

Janet was glad the general wasn't there to see her hopeless shrug and expression. "I'm not sure, to tell you the truth. In a sense she's lost a husband of sorts but does she need grief counseling when the actual, physical person is still alive and close by? I don't know."

"Have you had a chance to speak with Colonel O'Neill yet?"

Janet glanced toward her office door. "He's here right now, actually. When I insisted Sam get out of the infirmary she wouldn't leave unless he was with the baby."

"What is your assessment of his condition?"

"Far better than Major Carter's at the moment, but I wouldn't put it past Colonel O'Neill to buffalo me."

Hammond gave a humorless chuckle, "That's probably a wise move, Doctor, he can put on a convincing front when need be. Is there anything we can do to help them?"

"I can't think of anything more right now than to give them time and support. Actually, Daniel seems to be coping quite well, it's just Sam and Colonel O'Neill..."

"I understand, Doctor. Keep me informed."

"Yes, sir."

Janet hung up the phone and looked toward her office door again, considering what lay beyond. She didn't want to meddle. Talking with Sam was one thing but Jack was another matter entirely. She had never been 'chummy' with Jack, they'd always been professional, respectful, friendly, but not friends the way she was with Sam. Jack was a tough customer and to the medical staff down-right ornery. Janet had never made it into Jack's inner circle. When he flipped out and caved in he didn't show that to her unless medically unable to hide it. He let down his shielding for Daniel and Sam but not Janet.

It made Janet less inclined to try and get him to open up to her, to try and dislodge with a pry bar what he didn't want to volunteer, knowing it was highly unlikely to work, but Sam was in sorry condition and Janet would tempt Apophis himself if it would help her help Sam.

Still, she hated to confront Jack, because she knew he wasn't going to like it. They had only just got the former SG-1 back and she wasn't in a hurry to alienate any of them by pushing. But for Sam, she'd push.

Janet left her office and stopped when she was greeted with the sight of Jack walking slowly down the middle of the infirmary with the baby cradled in his arms. It took him a second to notice her then looked up. Janet wasn't sure what to make of the look on his face. There was tension and wearied confusion but it was accompanied by something warmer and softer and all of that trumped by something much more neutral and mysterious. Jack could school his face well and Janet was finding that out anew.

"How's she doing?" she asked and looked down at the baby. Jack's large hand cupped the infant's tiny head, his thumb brushing her cheek, as he said, "Quiet." He said nothing more.

Janet nodded and chewed on the inside of her cheek in annoyance. Jack wasn't going to make it easy.

"How are you?" she asked.

Jack gave a half-shrug and carried the baby over to a gurney. "How am I supposed to be?"

"A little confused?"

"Then I'm on course."

Janet watched Jack perch on the end of the hospital bed and shift the baby fractionally in his arms. The girl stirred at the movement and he rocked her and whispered low, mumbled words. The baby settled again and seemed to zero in on his voice. The entire scene slammed into Janet at that second and she was stilled at the sight. She'd seen Colonel O'Neill with kids before, but never a baby. She didn't expect it to alter him so drastically. There was a calm to him that she'd never seen before, his unbridled energy and constant fidgeting were vanquished when his arms were filled with a newborn, and his rough outer layer was softened and almost fuzzy and cuddly as though to give the child a comfortable place to burrow. Knowing he could have killer's hands it was a surprise to see them become so infinitely gentle as he caressed the baby's skin. She'd never suspected he would become so placid and docile with a baby in his arms but looking at him right then he was undeniably that and more. Above all that there was a look in his eyes, like the gentle twinkle he got with most children but ten-fold.

Janet was moved and she felt pain for him for the loss of his son so long ago more sharply than ever before.

Jack tucked the single thin linen more snugly around the baby and glanced back up at Janet.

Janet looked down at the baby and asked boldly, "Do you think she's not yours, too?"

Jack didn't flinch so much as go very still at the point-blank statement that he had fathered the child. He had to figure everyone knew the baby's parentage, anyway. Jack didn't take his eyes from Janet as he said unequivocally, "She's mine."

A rush of relief swept through Janet. Even if circumstances robbed the baby of its mother her father was not about to let it happen with him. The little girl was now guaranteed a home and family by Jack's unwavering acceptance. She should have known the little girl would always have Jack because he was a man who took children very seriously.

"It makes me feel a lot better to hear you say that."

Jack frowned, held the baby closer as though to protect her from the direction of the conversation, and asked, "Is Carter that bad?"

"It's hard for her." Janet studied Jack a moment then plunged ahead in a daring move. "She told me she misses Jonah."

Jack winced and looked away. Janet saw a flicker of something and she had to wonder.

Wonder might be all she was able to do, because she could literally see 'O'Neill walls' erect into place. He closed down and shut off and Janet marveled at and cursed his ability to turn off his connection to the outside world so instantaneously.

Janet felt helpless in the face of that kind of shut-out.

It was the very last thing Sam needed from him.

"Sir," she began in resignation, "I know it's asking a lot because I can understand you must be uncomfortable with all of this, but I really have to ask you to help Sam through this. I think you're the only one who can really get through to her right now and help her heal and move forward. She's recently given birth and that wreaks havoc on a woman's body, physically, mentally, and emotionally. To add to the hormonal shifts she's having to accept she's not who she thought she was and that the man... the man she had a child with is gone."

Jack's eyes snapped to her and Janet stopped cold.

"I know, Doctor, you don't have to tell me."

"It's the same for you?"

Jack scowled and looked down again at the baby just to not be looking at the doctor.

Janet wanted to throw her hands up in irritation. Jack O'Neill could be so difficult; she couldn't imagine why Sam was so enamored of him.

Then she watched him with the baby and understood.

"I won't presume to know what you're going through, so all I'll say is this. However difficult, Sam is willing to accept that she is, in some manner, still Thera. She told me she misses Jonah."

Jack's muscles bunched tensely and he didn't look up, just stared down at the baby as if it was his touchstone, his only anchor in a chaotic world. It probably felt that way to him... to Sam, too.

Janet turned around and went back into her office. She'd let him think on that a while, because of all Jack's acts she'd seen through one a long time ago... he was not stupid.