LOGAN'S CRAVING

Disclaimer: I do not own X Men: Evolution or any of the characters. I just had this random idea that popped into my head once that I decided to type up! Enjoy!

"Now Logan, you know the rules…" Charles began.

"No! Anything but that! Please don't!" Her begged, a rarity for the feral man.

"…No booze and no smoking."

"NO!" Logan let out a feral roar. "How will I live!"

"You'll manage, we all do." Logan grumbled as he left Charles Xavier's office. It had been difficult enough with just the original six X Men to train, and now that the New Mutants were here, Logan felt a greater need for his two favorite things; minus a killing spree. It didn't take long for his last Canadian beer and his last Cuban cigar to work it's way out of his system. Damn his healing factor!

"Allo Herr Logan!" Kurt cheerfully greeted him as he saw him in the hall. "How are you doing?"

":Grunt:" Logan brooded as he trudged upstairs.

"Vhat's his problem?" Kurt shrugged.

Logan decided to have a bit of a lie-down to take his mind off his withdrawal, a technique that worked until…

"Like, Mr. Logan, Bobby, like, iced over all the toilets again!" Kitty whined. Logan grunted again and followed the half-pint down the hallway. Bobby, who was waving to Sam while laughing, did not see Logan and walked right into him.

":Gulp: Oh, sorry M-Mister L-Logan!" Logan pointed to the bathroom, an extremely peeved look on his face. He grunted in a threatening manner. "I'm sorry! I won't do it again! Don't kill me!" Bobby squeaked. Logan nodded and went back to his room.

No sooner had he shut his eyelids then Scott had knocked on his door. Without waiting for a response, the teenage tightwad let himself in.

"You're supposed to be teaching a Danger Room session!' Scott informed. Logan grunted, annoyed by the intrusion. Scott ignored the grunt and began to tap his foot in agitation. Logan grunted in a more threatening manner and unsheathed his claws with his trademark SNIKT! Scott gulped and paled a little.

"Obviously, you're very… TIRED…" He bolted from the room as fast as he could. Logan had gotten comfortable again when yet another interruption occurred.

Logan, Rogue broke my hairbrush! Jean's telepathic voice whined. He grunted ferociously and thought up an image of a Jean kabob, making the girl yelp. What is WRONG with you! She shrieked, both aloud and mentally.

"Need beer." He grunted. Again, he started to drift off when a muffled sound came from his closet.

He reluctantly got up and unlocked the door to find three Jamies, recently freed of their bonds.

"Gee thanks Mister Logan! I sure do appreciate…" Logan gave him the stink eye glare and grunted in irritation. "Buh-bye!" The Jamies ran for their lives.

Logan locked his door and went back to his R and R when suddenly the fire alarm went off, forcing him to leave the solace of his room.

"What happened, Charles?" Hank asked.

"Amara had a power splurge and set fire to some boxes Logan had in the basement…" Logan paled and got on his motorcycle, revving it up for all it was worth.

"Where are you going, Logan?"

"Need beer. Must go to Harry's…" He said hypnotically.

Just then, Jubilee came wobbling out, a brown flask I hand.

"Whoa… thish shtuff ish good…" She slurred. Logan sniffed.

"Scotch! Where did you get this!" Jubilee laughed and twirled.

"The Proffesher has a drawer wish dish shtuff and shome Cubans…" She passed out.

"Chuck…" Logan grew furious. "… You fking hypocrite…"

"Now Logan, I…Stop it! You're scaring me! Mommy!"

"Ten bucks on Logan!" Ray told Bobby.

"I'll say twenty that the Prof. looses his legs altogether!"