Sephiroth: An Act of Towering Stupidity


How dare that boy speak to me like that? I thought, striding angrily home. Reno, of all people?

I stepped into the elevator for the second time that night and made myself calm down. Could I really blame him? Turks were Tseng's domain, and I knew that he worried about Aerith, despite his orders from the President and Hojo. It made sense that he had someone watching her. Why it took so long for Reno to reveal his presence, I had no idea, but I was on edge after the meeting.

I was still having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that Reno had been following us this whole time. Three months—why, Aerith and I had only known each other for just over that. To realize that he had been nearby during even our most private moments, especially the times when I felt secure in the knowledge that we were well-hidden…it was unnerving.

Worse, it finally hit me—now, after the fact—that it had been an act of towering stupidity on my part to even think of inviting her up to my apartment. I cursed myself the entire way home that night. How could I have thought to bring her there? What had I been thinking? What if Hojo had found out? What if we had made some kind of noise, some indication for the always-listening ears of ShinRa to pounce upon? What if someone figured out who and what she was and traced her location by tracking me? Gods, what if I was the reason ShinRa caught her in the end?

My hands were shaking by the time I got back to my room. I had to take a shower to calm down. It was so tempting to go back out there, to make sure she was safe, but I wouldn't make the same mistake twice in one night. Reno was watching her; that should be enough.

If Reno knew, that meant Tseng knew. Reno might claim that he'd keep quiet, but Se had ways of finding out things like this. It wasn't very reassuring to know the Turks were involved.

On second thought, maybe it was, knowing Reno as I did.


Ahh, Reno. He was the bane of my existence for so long that I wonder how many of my silver hairs were actually grey after dealing with him.

ShinRa sent all of its "problem children" to me for training after the war in Wutai was over. I got about thirty of them in all, street punks and workhouse rejects who didn't fit in with the rigid hierarchy of SOLDIER. Reno was with the first batch. He was sixteen years old and already an ex-convict. Tseng had seen something in him, though, and I was willing to try to make him behave.

The trouble was, it's very difficult to make someone behave when they follow your orders to the exact letter, no more, no less. Tell the boy not to move, he freezes and literally doesn't move until given another order. Say, "I don't want to hear another word" and he silently mouths swears, all the while with the most innocent expression upon his face. It was like dealing with a four-year-old little brother.

It might not have been so bad, but Reno was so much brighter than any of the others that it almost hurt to train him. He knew exactly what he was doing. So did I: he was pushing the edge of the envelope, one little nudge at a time, to see how far he could stretch the rules before someone came down on him.

I used to ask him why he didn't just settle down and behave, only to receive a look of disdain in return. He didn't want to be there, not that I blamed him, but he made things worse by never accepting that he was there. At the time, it didn't make sense to me. I had always obeyed my orders whether I liked them or not. Even then, a part of me envied him for his independence.

He saw through ShinRa just as I had, as Tseng and Zax did. It was so rare to find someone like him. Take my fellow officers, for example. Listening to them was almost pitiful sometimes. They would get starry-eyed, talking about fighting for glory and honor, for the preservation of ShinRa.

Right. Preservation of the glory and honor of a gods-damned power company. We fought for a corrupt business that wanted to own the world, let's not mince words. I knew Reno understood this, and yet I couldn't ever break through his shell enough to become his friend. I used to wish we had met under different circumstances. I preferred Reno's intelligent backtalk to the spineless drivel that the other officers spouted.

So maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that he had been assigned to watch Aerith. Fully aware that it made me sound like a wayward teenager, I hoped he would be as good as his word, and wouldn't tell anyone what he'd seen.

I really didn't want Tseng to find out.

Over the years, I had managed to keep contact with Tseng. On one hand, this was a good thing; real friends in ShinRa were few and far between. On the other hand…he would have killed me if he'd known I was visiting Aerith. He'd kill me twice if he knew just how our relationship had turned out. He thought of himself as a kind of older brother for her, and he remembered what I'd been like in our early training days. I might be different now that I'd had time to grow up, and she was nothing like the girls I'd spent my time with back then, but the fact remained that Tseng could be a difficult obstacle to overcome.


I was more careful the next night, meeting her at the train station and then going to her church. It was more private than going to the hospital, less conspicuous than going to her house. I was aware that Reno was out there, someplace, so I kept my visit shorter than usual. It was hell to leave her.

The following morning, I woke to a pillow that still smelled like Aerith, even after an entire day and night. It made me feel good, refreshed, exhilarated. Even the fear that Hojo would find her didn't seem so ominous in the clear light of day. I was the strongest man in ShinRa, physically and politically. I could protect her myself.

The morning went as usual: running two laps around the ShinRa Tower, an hour or so of katas back in my apartment, a breakfast of ShinRa Mako Flakes with a mug of coffee while I caught up with the news. I hummed a tune—I! Hummed!—on my way to my 50th floor office. I could have had a higher floor, but I wanted to be as far from Hojo as possible, so I settled for a smaller room on the lowest floor in the SOLDIER section of the building. People sent funny looks my way as I passed them. I didn't care. All I could think about was her smile, the way her lips tasted…Turks and scientists were far from my thoughts.

Passing my secretary with a grin, I picked up the packet of mail and swept into my office to read it. Jared was used to my new attitude by now, so it didn't faze him at all. He simply smirked at the expressions of the SOLDIER NCOs who waited for their appointments with me and got me another mug of coffee.

Her hair…gods, that mouth…those hands…

Thankfully, the appointments went quickly, and I settled into the routine of my day. I heard Jared leave for lunch, which meant I was alone at last. I stretched and went to the window, gazing out at the city. She was out there, somewhere, selling her flowers. I had plans to meet her again tonight; we would have to be extra-careful from now on. I began thinking of alternative routes to take, different places to meet her. Grinning to myself, I turned back to my desk and stopped.

Tseng leaned in my doorway, arms crossed. "Seph."

"Se." Something was up. He hadn't come to my office, unannounced, in probably six months. Strange he should choose today, not even two days after I had my little 'talk' with Reno. "What can I do for you?"

"I thought I'd see if my old friend wanted to get some lunch, that's all." He held up the keys to his Jaguar. "Chez Rofe. I'm buying."

Of course. The one place in Midgar we knew we could talk without ShinRa's ears listening in on every word. "Sure, Se, let me get my coat."

The drive there was strained. I pretended nothing was amiss, though I was quite aware he wanted to yell at me. Chances were the car was bugged, too. Finally, we reached the restaurant and got our usual table. Once the waiter left with our drink orders, Tseng leaned in my direction, pretending to look over the menu.

"What the hell are you playing at?" he hissed, the calm façade broken. "Are you trying to get her killed?"

He always did get straight to the point. Funny, considering that he led the Turks, a group not known for their directness. "Of course not." I kept my voice even as my eyes scanned the list of entrées.

"Den what were you doing wit—" He took a deep breath and proceeded more evenly. His accent always came through when he was agitated. "Then what were you doing at that church with her last night?"

That surprised me into glancing at him. "You saw that?" I growled. "I'm going to kill Reno."

Tseng waved a hand dismissively and sat back. Still speaking in a low tone, he said, "He's not involved. He wouldn't tell me who she was seeing, so I trailed him myself. You had better not be using her—"

The waiter came with our drinks and took our order before I could reply. When he was gone, I whispered, "Gods, Se, think about it! You know me better than anyone else. You think I would hurt a girl? Especially one like her?"

"I know you, Seph. That's why I'm worried." He crossed his arms. "I seem to remember that you were the guy who went out with a different girl every week."

"Oh, for the gods' sake. You know that wasn't my choice! ShinRa kept pairing me with them!"

He snorted. "Like you objected. I'm sure they forced you to take half of those girls to bed. But they're not in question here. I'm worried about Aerith."

"Aerith is safe with me, Se, so don't bother with the big-brother lecture. Whatever I've done is done. I am not going to stop seeing her. Hells, I don't think I could stop if I tried." I just sat and looked at the plate with my meal, suddenly no longer hungry. Neither of us spoke for a while, neither of us touched our food.

He glared at me. I could feel his tension, his fear. He really was worried. Finally he made an exasperated noise and picked up his fork. "Nothing I say is going to stop you, fine. But if she gets hurt because of your carelessness…"

I'll kill you, was the rest of that sentence, the part he didn't say. "Se, I promise. I will never allow Hojo near her. I want her to be safe, too."

We both wanted the same thing: Aerith's safety. I hadn't lied to her; I had never cared about anyone before. Any women who'd accompanied me to bed did so with the understanding that it meant nothing come daylight. None of them had ever taken hold of my thoughts the way she did. None of them had made me feel like I would wither and die if I stayed away for too long.

We drove back to the Tower without speaking, walking from the car to the elevator. Moments ticked by as we ascended, his hard, measuring stare trained upon me. I met his eyes without fear. Perhaps Tseng read my thoughts. Perhaps he believed, finally, that I wanted just as much as he did to protect her from the very company that sent me to find her. Whatever it was, at last he looked away. "Very well," he said, as if we had been speaking the whole time.

The doors opened to the 50th floor. His office was up on the 63rd—the Turks weren't so lucky as I in their choice of location. I stepped out and nodded at him. "Trust me, Se."

I heard him sigh as I turned away.

Besides, I thought, walking to my office to finish out my day, Reno was with her when I wasn't. He had promised to keep an eye on her when I couldn't.

I felt much better. Already, my mind was half on where I would take her that evening. Tseng had nothing to worry about.