Tseng: The Shit Hits the Fan
"Announcement," I heard a sudden voice on the building PA say, "Will all silver-haired rescuers please proceed to the helipad on the 70th floor? Please avoid incompetent SOLDIERS and intruders on the main stairs if at all possible. Thank you very much and have a nice fucking ShinRa day!"
No. No, no, no, no, no. That wasn't Reno's voice I heard over the speakers directly above my head. It couldn't be. Because if it was that would mean …
The hall in which I stood with Rude at my side was suddenly awash in the flashing red lights of the alarm system; the building sirens blared with enough force to render me deaf. I closed my eyes. It had been Reno. And judging from the context of his announcement, things were now severely fucked. All this time he'd been MIA, he must have been with our resident psycho-fuck doctor – how he'd escaped I had no clue, but somehow he'd managed to find Seph and tell him about Aerith's captivity …
Consequently blowing any chances of a quiet, unnoticed escape all to hell.
"Intruders …" Rude muttered ominously. I noticed he'd already drawn his gun. Today, I thought with a heavy sigh, was not going to be a fun day.
"Have I ever told you, Rude, how much I hate my job sometimes?" I asked, withdrawing my own handgun and slipping out the magazine to check that I had full rounds. He was saved from answering by the sudden ringing of the phone in my office. I contemplated ignoring it, thought about shooting it, and finally decided I might as well answer it. Who knew, maybe I'd discover I'd won the lottery or a vacation on some tropical island that was far, far, far away from this city …
I strode into the room and pressed the button for speaker phone. "Tseng, here," I snapped.
"T-Tseng, sir," stuttered an obviously terrified male voice. "S-sir, there are … there are …"
"There are what?" I almost shouted. Did we have any competent officers that didn't piss themselves at the slightest sign of trouble?
"S-Sir, some intruders a-are wiping out t-the entire b-barracks, sir," he told me.
"What," I asked very slowly and not without some disbelief, "intruders?"
"S-Some … Oh God!" I heard the unmistakable sound metal slicing cleanly through flesh. "Please, no! " The last cry reached a horrific crescendo, and then the line went dead. Sighing, I turned to Rude where he stood in the doorway.
"Someone," I said flatly, stressing the word, "is massacring the SOLDIER barracks." That in itself didn't really bother me. What bothered me was-
The phone rang yet again. I eyed it for a moment, knowing that to answer it would only bring more bad news; Rude stepped up and pressed the speaker button.
"Tseng?"
Ah, lovely. The dulcet and incredibly furious tones of none other than Rufus ShinRa.
"Tseng? You'd better be there or-"
"I'm here, sir." And I stoically readied myself for the lambasting I knew was imminent, all the while praying that what I had suspected had come to pass hadn't actually come to pass …
"Reno is stealing my helicopter!" Impressive; I didn't know Rufus' voice could shriek like that. His words, however, proved that my suspicions were right.
"I'll get right on it, sir. I'll straighten this out."
"You'd fucking better!" And with that, the line went dead for the second time in as many minutes. I was really starting to hate phones. Smoke signals, I thought wistfully –now there was a way to communicate …
And then my thoughts moved to Reno. May the Gods have mercy on his soul, because I sure the fuck wasn't going to.
"Well?" Rude asked, ever the silent observer, leaning against my desk.
"I cannot fucking believe he's stealing a helicopter." I mumbled; I was stressed enough now that my accent had made an appearance, and I saw Rude smirk a little before trying hastily to mask it. I leveled upon him an icy glare. "We have two options. We can go and attempt to stop Reno like my lord Rufus has so nicely suggested, or we can head to the barracks and try and suppress the damage-"
"Reno." Rude said instantly, and I agreed. Fuck the SOLDIERs; if they couldn't handle themselves in combat, what good were they? Besides, I was actually a little worried about what Reno was playing at.
A little worried? Asked my snide inner voice as both Rude and I left the office at a dead run.
All right, I was exceedingly concerned.
Minutes later, we were stepping off the elevator into the President's office. What immediately drew my gaze was the corpse of the corpulent president splayed rather ungracefully across his chair. His skin was the pasty white you only see when a body has been somewhat exsanguinated, but judging from the wounds he hadn't been dead long …
And then I saw, through the large windows which lined the entire north and south walls, that Rufus stood on the balcony. His head was tilted back, staring at something in the sky; I didn't have to guess what he was staring at. His long white coat and the longer lengths of his hair were billowing in the wind. I couldn't stop the small and unpleasant smile that curved my lips.
President ShinRa was dead. And all Rufus cared about was his helicopter. I gave a brief nod to Rude, indicating he was to follow me outside, and together we moved as one, guns held ready. The helicopter was just beginning to lift off the ground as we reached Rufus, and we fought the strong, steady currents of wind that the propellers blew over us. I watched as Rude grabbed Rufus to prevent him from doing something stupid. I ignored them both and decided to make it look like I wanted to stop the escapees from completing their escape; I took aim and fired three shots. I am a perfect aim, and that's not arrogance talking; I had made sure the shots went wide of any of the passengers as well as the petrol tank.
"Fucking do something!" Rufus snarled. I just shook my head and shrugged.
"You want it back in one piece, right?" I shouted over the noise of the helicopter. The glare he gave me was ferocious, and I was fairly certain that had Rude not been restraining him, he would have attempted to unload a beating on me. I almost wish he would have. It had been a while since I'd been able to beat the fuck out of someone that actually deserved it.
I watched through the helicopters windshield as Reno produced an audacious grin and waved down at us all. To make myself feel better, as well as to make it seem like I actually didn't want them escaping, I raised my gun and took another shot. Reno jerked back and brushed frantically at his ear, and the smile that spread across my face this time was utterly vindictive.
The helicopter circled away from the building then, leaving us all to stare after it. I shook my head with a resigned sigh and turned to go back in the building when Rufus' voice stopped me.
"I suppose you have a plan?"
I paused, turning to look back at him as he pulled himself free of Rude's massive hands. "Not right now, but I will have." The expression in Rufus' eyes made it clear he didn't like my answer, but that was just too damn bad. Right now all I was concerned about was how long Sephiroth could keep Aerith out of ShinRa's grasp. Rufus opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.
"Your father is dead. Aren't you going to mourn?"
He smirked a little. "I've done my mourning." He brushed past me, heading back into his father's- no, his- office. He'd mourned, all right. He'd mourned the fact that he hadn't been the one to send his old man into the afterlife. I gave Rude an inscrutable glance before following Rufus in. I hadn't been in the Presidential office one minute before the elevator dinged, and the doors slid open to emit one surgically maniacal Hojo. He approached us with short, agitated strides, and while he spoke to Rufus his beady eyes were focused completely on me.
"Three of my specimens managed to escape while this ruckus was going on," he said coldly.
Rufus only graced him with the merest of glances before continuing to examine his father's corpse. "Unfortunate," he remarked indifferently.
I watched as Hojo clenched his fists; I could almost see him clenching his jaw, and it brought me a small measure of mirth. "They happen to be important experiments. Especially the Ancient."
Ah yes. President's dead, company's in turmoil, and all Hojo was concerned about were his lab specimens. I wondered idly when the last time he'd been laid was. He needed it more than pretty much anyone I knew.
Rufus sighed loudly. "Find them, then, Hojo. I'm not stopping you."
Hojo glared at Rufus, moved his glare to me, and was pretty much foaming at the mouth before he turned and stormed back to the elevator.
"God, how I despise that man," Rufus muttered quietly. He was just about to say something further when a SOLDIER appeared at the door to the office. "What now?" Rufus demanded.
The SOLDIER saluted. "Sir! I was told to report to you about the situation, Sir!"
"Yes?"
"Every SOLDIER that was in the barracks at the time was killed. It looked as though the intruders were looking for something but couldn't find it. No one actually saw the intruders, Sir. All we know is that they are carrying blades of some sort."
"They?" Rufus asked. "If you never saw them, how do you know there's more than one?"
"With all due respect, Sir, no one can do that amount of damage on their own in less than half an hour."
I had to agree with him on that. Not even Sephiroth could do that amount damage in that time and to my knowledge there was no better swordsman than him.
Rufus waved the SOLDIER off with one flippant gesture. "Dismissed."
I pondered leaving with the SOLDIER, but was aware the dismissal wasn't meant for me. And so I stood patiently, with Rude at my side, waiting to hear what more it was Rufus had to say.
I didn't have to wait long. Having finished his somewhat morbid examination of his father's body, he turned to me. "I want you to keep track on Sephiroth and that Turk of yours."
I nodded; I'd expected this, and I wasn't going to complain. It gave me chance to see if Aerith was alright. I'd rather it be me watching them than anyone else, besides. "Sir." I said perfunctorily, and bowed my head slightly before turning and leaving the room. I heard Rude fall into step behind me, and as we passed through the double doors I cast him a glance over my shoulder.
"Why have I got the feeling this is going to amount to a lot more?" I asked him.
"Because it's going to," he told me matter-of-factly.
Couldn't argue with him there -he was right.
Gods, what I wouldn't give sometimes for a normal desk job.
