Madeline
Chapter Twelve - You Can't Disguise
Matt
I was kneeling beside Madeline, already holding her in a hug when Gordo came flying out the door behind me in a near panic. When he saw the slightly confused, but otherwise okay girl in my arms, the amount of relief going through his body was easily seen as he quickly strode over to the two of us.
"Madeline, oh my God, you're okay!" He took her from my arms and held her tightly in his own embrace then pulled away, holding on to her shoulders. "What the hell were you thinking! You can't just run off like that, you could have been hurt, baby. Why did you come outside, what were you thinking?"
"Gordo, stop. You just asked a five year old to explain to you why she slipped away unnoticed while the two adults in charge of her were preoccupied with other things." I stepped in on my niece's behalf, I wanted to yell at her too for scaring me like that, but it would only scare her and get her upset for something that was our fault anyway. I could already see her little face scrunching up with tears as her bottom lip started pushing out. "She doesn't know any better, she's still figuring all this stuff out."
At this point she was crying and Gordo forgot any other feelings as he pulled her into his arms and stood up, comforting his daughter and throwing me an apologetic and helpless look. "Look, we'll be in the car when you get finished talking with Miranda, okay?"
"Yeah, and Gordo. . .it's okay to get upset and scared to death, just know she still doesn't understand really why you're angry at her, just that you are." He nodded and turned with her towards the car. I went back inside and let Miranda know everything was alright.
"So she wasn't anywhere near the car horn?" Jennifer asked after I'd told them all the details.
"Nope, it was just some guy honking to get the cars in front of him at the light moving. Still freaked me out pretty good though."
"Do you know how much Gordo would have blamed himself if anything had happened? I'm glad nothing actually did, that's for sure." I lightly hugged Miranda in a gesture of comfort and stole a quick kiss from her cheek.
"If it's okay with you, can we talk about everything we were going to talk about later and not now. I'm too shook up and we should probably get Madeline home soon anyway."
"Yeah Matt, that's probably best. Why don't I come over after work and you can tell me everything you were so excited about that you couldn't keep it in before."
"Great, I'll see you then. Hope your day doesn't drag by slowly as I know mine will waiting for you." I stood up and kissed her forehead before leaving the table and the restaurant behind. I got out to the parking lot and found Gordo in the backseat of the car still holding Madeline. I got in the driver's seat, easily getting the unspoken request, and drove the three of us home in silence.
VvVvV
Hours later, the soft sounds of Madeline's laughter was drifting into my bedroom from the living room where she was watching some movie with Gordo. I was staring at my ceiling, trying to come up with the best arguments for Miranda moving in here with us, rather than me moving out with her. I wasn't sure what she'd really think about the whole idea, let alone if I really wanted to be in separate rooms when we could share the same bed at her place. There was also the fact that she'd be giving up her own place in exchange for a house with a five year old and three other adults, once Lizzie and Gordo got married. I really had trouble seeing that as anything but a loosing trade for Miranda. I sprang to my feet when I heard the doorbell ring and dashed to answer the door, feeling about as young as I had actually been the last time I'd run like this to answer the door for her.
"Hey Matt." I'm not sure if she'd come up with more words than that because she was unable to articulate anything she said after them when I pulled her lips into a deep kiss. "Okay. . .what was that for? Not that I'm actually complaining about it, but. . ."
"I missed you." I said simply with a playful grin.
"Well maybe I should make you miss me more often, if that's what I get out of the deal." We started walking further into the house, out of the entry way.
"You could, but I come up with much more. . .fun things when I have time to try them out on you."
"Hey, there are innocent ears in this living room!" Gordo called out as we entered the room he was in with Madeline.
"Yeah, and we should be careful what we say around Madeline too."
"Sorry Gordo, didn't mean to expose you to new ideas before you're ready."
"You two make a dangerous combo." He turned his attention away from the television. "So, what have you guys got planned?"
"Nothing that I know of, other than Matt getting around to telling me what I've been waiting all afternoon to hear." She jokingly glared at me. "Why, you got some amazing evening planned for you and Lizzie and need free childcare?"
"Actually, no, I was just curious." Gordo looked back at the screen, but was obviously lost in thought and not taking in the images. We sat there for a few minutes in silence, resting in our own worlds when he asked us a question in a voice just above a whisper, "How could I ever think I was ready for this?"
"For what?" Miranda asked him cautiously, almost as if she were afraid of what her friend might say.
"For taking on the responsibility of a family." Neither of us knew where to go from there so we sat in silence and waited to see if he would continue on his own. Before he started talking again, Miranda's hand reached over and took mine in a tight grip. Gordo looked up at her and smiled.
"Don't worry, I'm not thinking of running away or taking back my proposal. I'm just getting my first real taste of what my life will become and I can't believe how easy I thought it would be to just make Lizzie and Madeline a part of my life."
"It ain't easy, I can tell you that. But it's always worth it." I sent a smile with my words and felt a little pain seep in with the memories that had begun to replay in my mind. It wasn't a pain of regret or remembering how hard it had gotten sometimes trying to raise a baby, work, go to school, and have some kind of a life; it was a pain of realizing that those days were gone forever. "You know what's stupid? I actually miss the times when me and Lizzie only had enough cash to get Madeline food and we'd search for anything and everything we could find in our apartment and split it. You'd be surprised how good a half eaten snickers from Lizzie's purse can be when you've been running on empty for a day or two."
"Wow, you guys really had it rough. Did your parents know?"
I looked over at Miranda and snorted. "Not that they would have cared anyway. You wouldn't have believed the way my dad treated Lizzie once he found out she was pregnant, and even mom acted like Lizzie had committed some horrible crime to her personally. They didn't deserve to know anything and I wouldn't have taken their help unless it was strictly for Madeline anyway. I'd starve before taking their handouts."
"It's just so hard to believe. Your parents were always so supportive and everything, I just don't get what could have happened. I can see why it scares Lizzie that we'll end up the same, I mean who would have ever thought your parents wouldn't be together forever?"
"Well, they were good at creating that facade, for us all. Even me and Lizzie didn't know how bad it was until after we'd moved and it all went downhill from there. I don't know when it started falling apart, but I think it always was. Nothing crashes and burns that horribly so quickly,at least not without some major problems to begin with."
"Problems that you and Lizzie don't have." Miranda added from beside me.
"Yeah, I know all this. I just wish I could get Lizzie to see it all too."
"See all of what?" We all three jumped with surprise at the sound of the extra voice entering the room.
"Do you try to sneak in without being noticed? I swear we need a noisier door or creaky floor, or something." I watched my sister roll her eyes after I'd finished my small tirade, we went through this about everyday after she'd come home unnoticed and scare me half to death by saying 'hi'.
"Matt, why don't we go and talk in your room." Miranda said, leading me by the arm out of the room. "I think they need to talk about some stuff alone."
"Right." I waved to them both with my free hand before disappearing through my door way.
"That was real subtle."
"I wasn't going for subtle, I was going for blatantly obvious. Glad to see it worked." She wrapped her arms around my waist after shutting the door behind us. "Now, what was it you were wanting to tell me earlier." She kissed the tip of my nose, then my chin before resting her forehead against my chest.
"Which do you want first, the cool news or the cool idea."
"Just shoot 'em out, you're not cute enough for my patience to hold anymore." She pulled me closer to her body with her arms.
"Fine, I'll start with the cool news then. You know that CD you made me let you listen to last week?"
"The one of your band?"
"Yeah, well today Gordo had me pass it off to John Williams, he's a composer and knows people who might be interested in hearing us and stuff, but he also told me at lunch that he wanted to use some of the songs for the soundtrack of his next movie!"
"Matt, that's great!" She kissed me and I returned it, hard. We had somehow found our way to my bed and were soon both caught up in passionate kisses and embraces. I had her shirt half way unbuttoned when she stopped me. "Wait, what was the other thing you wanted to talk about?"
"Could you forget about there being something else for like, ten more minutes?" I looked hopefully at her, not wanting to stop what we were in the middle of, or about to be anyway.
"Matt. . ."
"Okay, okay. I was thinking this morning about what you asked me in your car."
"About that, have you thought about everything and everyone involved in this? What about Madeline and Lizzie? And are you sure it's what you really, really want? Because I would understand if it wasn't, it's a big step and all. And there's just so many other. . ."
"Miranda, stop." She moved her eyes from the wall, back to my face. "I have thought of all those things and I am very ready to live with you, without any doubts. But there's just the one person I'm not ready to be without yet. . ."
"Madeline."
"Yeah. I'm sure it seems really weird and all, but for the past so many years she and Lizzie have been my life. That beautiful little girl has been my world and I can't see letting go of that soon." I watched her bite her lower lip in thought and I was almost hoping she would come up with the plan on her own, but she went the other direction.
"So I guess you're just not ready for this yet, it really is okay Matt. I don't think it's weird or anything at all, you love your niece and your sister and you want to make sure they're okay, I understand."
"No, I don't think you do." She gave me a half way challenging, yet hurt look before I continued. "The other thing I wanted to tell you was I came up with a plan to be able to be around you and Madeline as much as possible. Why don't you move in here with us?"
I waited for the question to work it's way through her brain. As the seconds of silence lengthened I began to worry that she saw how much she would be giving up and knew it wasn't worth it. I was about to retract my question when she finally answered.
"You. . .you want me to. . .Matt. . .What does Lizzie think?"
"I haven't had a chance to talk to her about it yet, but we have a spare bedroom and everything for you and. . ."
She put her finger over my lips and silenced me. "Spare bedroom? Why wouldn't I just be in here with you?" I kissed her finger before pulling it away from my mouth and answering.
"When I ran the idea by Gordo, he thought it might confuse Madeline if we both were in the same room, and I can see his point. I know it's not the normal idea of living together since we'll be more like room mates, but we will only be down the hall from each other and I can tip toe as quiet as a mouse." I smiled suggestively at her.
"Yeah, but you'd have to keep it down when you got to my room. You have this tendency to make a little more noise than necessary. . ."
"Well maybe you shouldn't make me scream like that. Seriously, who tickles their boyfriends after sex, it's just not right." She burst into laughter before trying to tickle me as we were on the bed. After about a minute of being mean to me, she stopped and sat up with a serious look on her face.
"Okay, here's what I'm thinking. I like the idea of not being in that apartment by myself anymore and it will be nice to get a chance to have more time to spend with Lizzie, but she has to be one hundred percent okay with the idea."
"Serious?" I was hesitant to believe it had been so easy to convince her.
"Serious. You have no idea how much I hate being alone. I miss the sounds of other people, and the freaky neighbors screaming at each other at three a.m. doesn't cut it." I pulled her down on top of me and kissed her deeply and fully on the mouth, slipping my tongue past her lips to brush against hers. I started to work on her shirt again after a few moments of continued kissing, this time she didn't stop me except to make sure the door was locked.
A/N-You know, I am really enjoying this story. I guessI forgot how much I loved writing it. Please let me know what you are thinking so far, especially if this is your first time reading through it. Feedback always gets me giddy and I update like thing that updates a lot when I get giddy. Oh, and because i haven't been saying it in the reposts of either of this stories, Read. Review. Enjoy! Hacen
