READ THIS -- And I can explain while I'm late. My computer broke!! ::gasps:: And don't be mad if I don't update until January after this chappy, because it's Christmas and the libraries are closed! (Use library for internet access) If you want more Wolf's Rain, read my other fic! (--; Self promotion…sorry…)
Warning: Some swearing, Jerry Springer, OOC (well, it is random humor), Donald Trump, X-Play (video game review show), and cruel-ness to Toboe. I do not own Jerry Springer, Donald Trump, Wolfs Rain, or X-Play.
IIIII
Up in the room the five sat in total silence. Not a creak. Even the wind outside died down and the crickets stopped chirping because they were tired of entertaining people that step on them. Hige, of whom was sitting on one of the beds, was getting restless. It was way to quiet.
"Alright, if someone doesn't make an interesting conversation I'm going to rip this bed apart to make some noise," Hige said loudly.
"I'm really bored," offered Toboe.
"Join the club," Tsume said.
"What do you think would happen if unicorns were still alive? I mean, maybe they are alive. Humans think that wolves are a myth but here we are!" Toboe said, laying down on the bed. Tsume, of which was on the same bed once again, shook his head, "What? They could still be alive."
"I doubt it...Hige probably ate them all, that's why they're no longer here," insulted Tsume. He was just looking for an argument. That's how bored he was!
"I'll just ignore that totally wrong, cold, and did I say wrong statement! Besides, do we really have to resort to talking about Unicorns? They are so girly!" Hige said.
Blushing, Toboe said "I'm not girly by talking about them, am I?"
"No. Your girly by looking like a girl," replied Hige.
Blue, who was sitting next to Hige, gave him a slap across the head, "Don't tell him that!"
Kiba, of which was getting annoyed, stood up and stomped his foot. It was loud enough to overcome their dumb conversation. Obviously he was agrivated and they noticed so they kept their mouth shuts for they waited for him to say something. After a moment, they sighed.
"What now?" Kiba asked.
"The boredom bug has gotten us. May someone end our suffering..." Tsume replied, throwing his head back.
"...pillow fight...?" suggested Hige, grabbing a pillow then tried bashing Tsume in the back, but the white wolf jumped out of the way and gracefully landed next to Kiba. In the process he hit un-expecting Toboe in the back of the head, making him fall off of the bed. "Whoops."
"Owwwww!" screeched the pup, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Idiot!" snapped Blue, hitting him harder on the head.
Toboe quickly grabbed a pillow, then smacked Hige on the top of the head. "That's what you get for hitting me, meanie!"
"You should have jumped out of the way, runt!"
"I didn't expect it!"
"Instinct to realize a pillow is coming at you!"
"Common Sense to know not to hit someone in the head with a pillow!"
"Idiocy, thy name is males," interrupted Blue.
Tsume coughed to get everyone's attention, then said "I was going to suggest watching the TV downstairs. There has to be something on. I mean, I don't work TV's, but I'm sure either half-breed or runt will know how to work it."
Blue's eyebrow twitched in anger. "Half-Breed?"
"You heard me."
"If I weren't so worried about Hige hitting Toboe again, I would so be kicking your ass."
"TV! TV!" Toboe rooted, to lighten the conversation
IIIII
Sitting in front of the TV, Blue and Hige were on the couch, Toboe sitting on the coffee table with a big (and cute) grin on his face, Tsume was trying to find some raw meat because he was damn hungry while Kiba went through the channels! Some of the channels were fuzzy, some of them were strange, and most of them were those stupid paid programming shows that nobody really cares for because it was the middle of the night.
"Booooorrrrrinnnnggg...." Hige flung his head back, looking up at the brown ceiling.
"We'll find something to watch. Any minute now..." reassured Kiba.
All of sudden, there was some yelling and screaming coming from the Television. Kiba turned the volume down immediately and Toboe shivered at what he saw on screen.
"W-What are those?" Toboe asked nervously.
"My Goodness!" said Blue with a gasp.
Hige wanted to know what looked at the TV, his eyes then opened wide, "Holy Crap! Can they even show that on TV?"
"...no amount of therapy will ever make this moment okay..." Kiba added.
The show was Jerry Springer (A/N: I don't know whether they have this or even if they have TV's in their world, but they do now. If you don't know what Jerry Springer is...it has a lot of naked people in it... --;;) and all the crowds started shouting "You are a (beep)! You are a (beep)!".
"What is 'beep'?" Toboe questioned.
Tsume, of whom hadn't found anything to eat in the fridge or cupboards, came in to see what all the commotion was about. He shook his head, blushing a bit, because he had never ever ever wanted to see that in his whole life. A man cheating on his wife with some girl that only had three teeth was strange enough without all of the swearing. All he wanted to do was grab all of them and shove them upstairs but he wasn't going to bother them.
"I could tell by their mouth movements that they said-" admitted Hige with a big grin. Blue covered his mouth before it came out.
Blue hissed, "Not suitable for some ears, that's why it's beeped out, dummy!"
Tsume asked, "Could we please change the channel?"
"Why?" questioned Kiba. "It's only humans."
"It's gross, demeaning, and vulgar," reminded the white wolf.
The leader shrugged, turning the channels once again, "That's probably why people watch it."
IIIII
"Can we find something decent to watch?" questioned Blue.
Hige shook his head. "Nope. There's nothing decent on. Just this filth so we have to watch it!"
"Hige...are you sober?" asked Tsume, sitting on the other side of Blue.
"Uhhh..yes..?"
"Then start acting like it."
"No hitting below the belt, leather fetish!"
"I couldn't even if I tried because there's nothing there you p-"
Covering his mouth in time, Blue whispered "Do I have to remind you two that there are delicate ears in here that don't need to be hideously stained with your putrid mouths?"
"Your vocabulary confuses me..." concluded Hige.
Pulling her hand off, Tsume asked "Kiba? What are you watching now?"
"Something called 'X-Play'."
"Not another dirty show!" groaned the elder wolf.
"It's a Video Game Review show! Shhhhh!" Toboe said.
"They have no morals, no dignity, and no friends! It's Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb!" announced the announcer on X-Play, and out came Adam and Morgan with grim looks on their faces.
"Adam's bald..." commented Toboe. "Heh. Bald. Funny word."
"Morgan's cute..." Hige added.
"May you never have children, Hige. Please. For the sake of the world, never do..." Tsume said.
"When they said 'no morals, no dignity, and no friends' I thought that he was talking about you all," Blue snarled, crossing her arms. "I thought I would have buried you all in the backyard by now but I've restrained myself. A lot."
"You can't bury us back there! If you do, we'll haunt you, like the ghosts of those chickens!" Toboe threatened, trying to sound threatening, although it didn't work out so well. "What did happen to those chicken ghosts anyway?"
"There are no chicken ghosts!" shouted Blue and Tsume.
IIIII
"Why are there only dirty channels on?!" questioned Kiba loudly, still switching through channels to find a decent one. It had cable so it had all those PlayBoy and PlayGirl channels.
"Duh, it's the middle of the night," replied Blue.
"Oh! I liked that! Keep it on that other channel!" Hige said.
Blue elbowed him in the stomach. He just scooted over a bit on the couch to get a better view of the TV since it was hard to see behind Toboe's head. "Do you think that we could somehow get a close up?"
Changing the channel Kiba replied "Hige, you are sick. That was sick. We shouldn't even be watching these types of things. They're wrong!"
"I know they are. That's why I want to watch them."
"Why don't we just go back upstairs?" suggested the eldest wolf. Tsume had enough of this crap; it was just strange to watch any of it, especially since they were wolves and those on the shows were humans. Besides Toboe was way to young to see any sort of these things.
"No," all of the male wolves replied.
Blue, who was tired of the foolish and horny males, grabbed the controller from Kiba and put it on channel 57. National Geographic. And we all know how fun National Geographic is, right? Right? So, yeah, anyway, Blue wanted to bore them all to sleep so she could finally have some peace and quiet! It was impossible with these four. She meant that males were just hard to get along with. She noticed that any type of male species were! Some of them were nice but most of them...(Blah...Blah...Blah...)
"Why'd you change it?" Hige pouted.
She sat next to him once again with a 'Shutup' look on her face. "I can't believe that you find human girls attractive!"
"Well, look what I'm stuck with! A guy who has a stick up his ass, a leader who annoys me, and Toboe of which I can't think of any colorful label for right now! When you're with them all day you'll be attracted to probably anything!" He said loudly, insulting almost everyone in the room. Toboe was just hurt because he didn't get a colorful label.
"What about me?"
"Oh, well, yeah, there's you."
"What do you mean 'oh, well, yeah, there's you'!?"
"Uhhh..." Hige stammered, trying to think of something quick he added "You're...pretty?"
"Was that a question?"
"Duh! It had a question mark at the end!"
"Don't use that tone of voice with me!"
"Why are you two even arguing!?" shouted Tsume.
"Because we're bored!" the two snapped back.
Toboe backed away from the TV and sat next to the couch. In a frightened tone, he said, "I-It's the bear!"
"Where?" asked Kiba.
"He's in the TV!" exclaimed the pup while pointing at the TV.
Looking at it, Kiba shook his head. He knew that Toboe could be a bit childish (while, he was a pup) but he expected for him to atleast know when something wasn't real. Especially if it was the TV.
Deciding to mess with the chibi a bit he said "Yes, Toboe, the bear is in the TV."
Over hearing this, Hige played along. He jumped beside the screen and said "Kiba's right Toboe. The bear is going to jump out at any moment and eat you in one gulp!"
"Red light! Red light! Red light!" screeched Toboe, heading up towards the stairs.
Tsume grabbed him by the arm and pulled him down. "Toboe, he's only joking with you."
"But he's in the TV!"
"Yeah, he is! And he's coming Toboe! He's right behind you!" Hige evilly went on with his cruel trick.
The she-wolf shook her head. "I am about to give up on guys and go to girls instead."
"That's great! I'll be there to watch you and your girlfriend every step of the way!" cheered Hige to Blue(A/N: o.o I'm making Hige really perverted. Sorry Hige fans!)
"Hige..." snarled Tsume. He went over to the younger wolf and picked him up by the scruff of his neck. Carrying him into the kitchen he promptly set Hige onto the stove and added "If you do not calm down I am going to turn this stove on. And you do not want that to happen. Your ass will be burnt to a crisp and you will no longer be able to sit down without screaming in pain. Do you understand me!?"
"I would wise crack at you but I don't like pain. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go cry in the bathroom from this traumatic experience."
Watching him going upstairs, Tsume said "I wouldn't want anything else."
IIIII
Upstairs, all five of them once again sat in silence. Kiba was on the floor, Blue on her bed, Hige was curled up in the blankets, while Tsume and Toboe had to share a bed. Once again. Which made Tsume very uncomfortable but Toboe was curled up right beside him. They had all decided that they were going to go to sleep. That was final. And if anyone woke anyone else up that their butts were going to burnt on the stove. End of story. Then again, they were all still wide awake, not daring to make a sound since they treasured their rear ends.
Fearing to move because his bed might squeak, Toboe still thought that the bear was going to come out of the TV and eat him whole like Hige had said. His amber eyes scattered across the rooms because he heard something creaking. It would be the stairs because those could be the only things that would creak. Was something coming upstairs? Probably not but Toboe's imagination was running wild on him like any pup's would. Closing his eyes he couldn't stop thinking about that stupid bear. That huge stupid bear. That brown, huge, stupid bear that most likely would eat him in one gulp...
"Bear," hissed Hige.
"Ahhhh!" screamed Toboe, latching onto Tsume.
Tsume, who had finally fallen asleep, dropped onto the floor. Toboe fell on his back. Unknown to anyone Hige had crawled very silently across the floor over beside Toboe's side of the bed. That was the creaking he heard.
Sitting up, Blue rubbed her head in annoyance. "Toboe, why did you scream?"
"Bear..." he moaned.
Turning the light on, an angry leader stomped his foot. Kiba said "Alright everyone! We are going to sleep and that is final! We are not going to be wide awake all night because we aren't going to sleep all day like we're lazy because we are hard working wolves that have jobs to go to, things to fax, and people to fire because Donald Trump is going bankrupt and he's so desperate now that we're paying him to come and say 'You're fired' to hard working people but I feel threatened by their presence so they shall be fired!! RRR!"
"Kiba, that made no sense. And who the hell is Donald Trump?" asked Blue.
Falling over, Kiba groaned in mental anguish. "Look what you've all done to me....ughhh..."
"Toboe, get off of me!" Tsume sat up and the small pup fell onto the floor like he had no bones. "Wow, rag doll physics."
"Bear," hissed Hige.
"Noooo!" Toboe jumped up, looking around frantically.
Hige started to laugh his butt off. The runt of the group had enough of his teasing and hit him over the head with the pillow, once again.
"Ow! That wasn't necessary!" Toboe snapped back.
"And neither was this!" Toboe shouted, smacking Hige on the head again. "But I felt like it because you're cruel to me! I feel so un-loved!"
"My God people. Just get to sleep already!" Kiba said, turning off the light.
IIIII
That's all the stupid I can dish out for now. -- Sorry you had to wait so long for such a short chapter. Only twelve pages...ugh... The next chapter probably will be the last. This chappy was pathetic, strange, OOC, and it had a Donald Trump mention in it. Am I insane?
If you do not review I shall put you on the stove and fire your butt o.O
Donald Trump: You're fired.
--
Trump: Now pay me! My Taj Mahal is failing here, give me money!
--;; Oh, may you all have a Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanza (whatever you are celebrating) and a Happy New Year!
