A/N Okay, I'm sorry it's been a while since I updated. But I was having trouble with a chapter fiurthur ahead in the story and I didn't want to post anything until I had finished the chapter. I succeded and got past my writter's block. And thank you all for reviewing. Enjoy! And don't forget to review when you're done!
A/N For future information Ciem is pronounced K M and Hyan is pronounced Hi N. Okay? Good.
Chapter Seventeen: Ciem
Burdock watched as Novellee made restless movements in her fever filled sleep. She had been like this for seven days now. He didn't know what had happened that night, but the cuts had on her arm and side had been made with a poisoned blade.
He knew she had been delirious when she had taken him out the window with her wings and into the air. She had traveled for hours in the wind taking them farther and farther Corus. She had finally touched down when the trees had ended, but by then they were to far to even think about trying to find the horses and she had blacked out.
Dragging her, wings and all, down the road a few yards, he had found a house. He was still thanking the gods that the people living in the house were an old couple, happy to help him with Novellee.
She had been so pale, so pale. It had scared him more then he thought possible to see her so weak. The poison had taken hold and her breathing was shallow. She would have died, but the old man had a way with healing and she had survived the night.
And it looked as if she would survive the fever. She was already looking a little better and she had come awake earlier that day, even if it was to mumble things in Serindain before falling back into an unconscious void.
He was surprised to find that he was sad to have missed hearing her voice. Even if she was unaware of what she was saying. But, during the four months they had been working together, he had grown to like her very much, even to care for her. He had come to look forward to talking to her everyday and not hearing her voice made him sad.
Usually he wasn't this in tune with his emotions, and he blamed it on the lack of sleep. He hadn't allowed himself to sleep more then two hours each day. He had been to busy taking care of Novellee to bother with sleeping himself. Even when he had tried to sleep he had been to eaten alive with worry to sleep long. Novellee was special to him and he didn't want anything to happen to her.
If she just woke up for a few minutes and spoke to him, he would know everything would be all right and he could allow himself to sleep. He rubbed his tired eyes, as the sleep he had avoided tried to catch up to him. He looked down at her and she opened her gray eyes as if she had heard his thoughts.
She gave a sweet smile, one unlike any she had shown him before. This one smile was so carefree, so innocent, that it took his breath away. Her magic wings rustled behind her as pale, smooth hand reached out and caressed his face.
In a breathy whisper she spoke on her native tongue. "Ciem, my dear one."
Immediately he was taken by jealousy. Who was Ciem? And why did she call him her 'dear one'? But he didn't have time to think. She grabbed his arms and, with surprising strength after seven days of fever, pulled him into the bed with her. With a sigh of contentment she snuggled up to him.
But soon she was speaking again, "Ciem, put your arms around me and hold me like you always do. And tell me a story." She demanded so forcefully Burdock gave a laugh. She smiled and buried her face in Burdock's shoulder, breathing deep his scent.
He knew it was wrong to enjoy holding her. She obviously thought he was some one, which she called Ciem, but she was so soft, so cuddly. She was never like this when she was aware and he wanted to savor the moment. Who knew when he would have this opportunity again?
Burdock halted his thoughts in their tracks. He was thinking about her as if he was in love with her. But that was absurd. He couldn't be in love with her. She wasn't what he was looking for in a woman, and he didn't want to be tied down yet.
"Story, Ciem!" Novellee demanded loudly in a childish voice, stopping his train of thoughts. He was grateful to her for that and thought of a story that he had been told as a child.
"Once upon a time there was a boy who had a wooden sword—"but she cut him off with a giggle that would have more likely come from a little girl then a grown woman like Novellee.
"No Ciem," she giggled again, like he was playing a great joke on her, "A story about Tortall silly."
"What do you mean Novellee?" he asked looking down into her smiling face. But she wasn't smiling anymore. She was scowling and her eyes held hurt. He didn't know what he had said to offend her, but she pushed away from him and turned her back. "What did I say?"
"Don't call me that. I don't like that name. I thought we had agreed that our new names were Hyan and Ciem. Why are you changing you mind now?" she hunched her shoulders as if she had been dejected and her voice was small with sadness.
"Why don't you want to be called Novellee?" he asked in a placating tone, hoping to grill some information from her. She gave a laud sniff, as if she had been crying.
"He calls me that. And I didn't want you to have to call me that too. I know how much you hate him Ciem, and I don't want you to have anything in common with him. Even if it means changing my name," she said quietly, so resigned in her decision it moved him. She had changed her name for this man, whoever he was. He must have been very special to her.
"Alright, Hyan. I'll tell you a story about Tortall," he agreed. She looked over her shoulder at him and saw he was serious. With a smile, she turned over and snuggled up against him again, and his arms came around her, holding her to him, and he told her a story.
$$
Novellee opened her eyes and tried to stretch, but the newly healed arm complained shooting white-hot pain ringing through her. She cried out and cradled her arm to her right side. In the process her elbow bumped into her wounded side and she cried out as she tried to move farther into the bed.
Bed? And it all came rushing back to her. The trip to the lakeside stone structure, seeing Morrison, being attacked with a knife across her arm and side. And flying with Burdock across the skies.
As she looked back, she had no idea how long she had been in the sky with Burdock, or what direction she had even been traveling, or if they had even landed safely for that matter.
She became aware of some needs that needed to be taken care of immediately, but every move she made was painful and she slumped back onto the pillows gasping for breath.
How had she gotten so weak? Before she could have gotten to her feet without a pause even with this pain. Now, she could hardly sit up. What was she to do? She had to relieve herself, now!
Novellee was getting desperate and was about to yell when Burdock walked into the room.
"You're awake," he exclaimed with a huge smile. "How do you fell?" He rushed to her side and she latched onto his arm, using it to pull herself up. It was then she realized she still had her wings. She searched for her Gift, finding it like a secret well hidden inside her and drew from its power. She cried out louder then she would have liked as the wings were ripped from her back and designated into the air.
"Maybe you should lie back down," Burdock worried at his lip, looking at her face to see if she was all right. He didn't like what he saw. She was to weak to be walking around. And definitely to weak for him to question her on whom Ciem was.
"No, I need to..." she trailed off, giving him a meaningful glance. Burdock didn't seem to understand and she sighed. "I have to relieve myself."
She watched his face as an adorable blush crept up his cheeks. She started to laugh before stopping herself. Adorable? Burdock? Since when did she think like this? She didn't have these thoughts, thoughts of men being attractive. That wasn't her. The wounds must have messed her up more then she had thought.
"Now," she snapped more angrily then she wanted. His flush grew darker as he helped her across the room and out the door. She glimpsed an old couple sitting before the fire before she was ushered out of the room and into a privy.
She gave a small sigh of relief when she came back into the main room. Her feet were bare and touched the cold floor and she shivered. She was intent on moving towards the fire, but her legs were to weak and she swayed forward as her knees locked.
Burdock grabbed her right arm with his left hand and wrapped his other arm around her waist, helping her to stay upright. He moved with her, bringing her back to the room she had been in before, and to the welcoming bed. She hasn't realized how tired she was until she saw the sleep that awaited her a few feet away.
Carefully helping her into the bed, Burdock swung her legs under the covers and wrapped them tight around her to keep her warm. She was asleep within seconds, but not before she gave him a serene smile. Not stopping to questions his answers, he kissed her on the forehead and sat down with a book to wait the time she would wake up next.
$$
When Novellee next woke up it was to a sight of Burdock, asleep in the chair beside her bed, a book open on his chest and his head thrown back. His mouth was open and he was snoring slightly. Again, she wanted to call him adorable and again she stopped herself. Blushing convent girls used the world adorable and she was anything but blushing or a convent girl. She'd killed for money for the gods' sakes. Would continue to do so until her goals were accomplished.
Burdock gave a grunt and shifted sending the book sliding so it hit the floor with a bang. He sat up fast blinking owlishly as he looked around the room. His eyes landed on her and she gave him a smile.
"Morning sunshine," she said in a sweet, deceiving voice. He smiled back, rubbing his hand through his hair. "How long have we been here?"
He cleared his throat before answering "Ten days. Or, eleven now," his voice was filled with the sleep that had been disturbed as he answered her question and looked out the window. Novellee followed his gaze and looked out the window also. The sun was rising causing the sky to paint itself pink and orange.
In silence they sat both watching the sky, but thinking entirely different thoughts. Burdock thought of how he would ask his questions. He had been dying for a chance to question her, eaten up by jealousy and doubt of his own feelings.
Novellee thought, trying to remember the last time she had just watched the sky. It seemed to her that she was always moving, always doing something. She never had the chance to simply watch and to enjoy. Then Burdock ruined it when he spoke.
"Who's Ciem?" Burdock had decided during his contemplation of the sky that he would be blunt in his interrogation. Novellee gave him a glare but remained silent. "You called me him in your sleep. Who is he, Novellee?"
She wanted more then anything to simply turn away and remain silent. This was apart of her life she hadn't shared with anyone. At least, not anyone that was alive. Everyone who she had known had been killed that night.
Yet, inside her head she heard a voice suspiciously like her brother's telling her it would be all right, that she could trust him to keep her secrets. She hesitated a second longer, before giving in and telling him.
"Ciem was my brother's nickname," she grudgingly allowed the painful words to leave her mouth. It didn't hurt as bad as she thought it would to say it. She had thought it would be like separating apart of herself and giving it away. But it wasn't. It was more like giving Burdock a glimpse of what made her who she was, not loosing anything. She was still intact.
"Why did you change names?" he asked leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He folded his hands and rested his chin on them.
"My father named me Novellee. He was an evil man and I didn't want Ciem to be evil too. So I thought if I separated him from everything that was evil, he would stay innocent forever," her voice was tight. Sure, it didn't hurt to tell him these personal things that had been hers alone for so long, but it was no picnic either.
"You didn't like your father?" Burdock inquired easily, puzzlement in his voice. He had never seen Novellee as one who had a father. Or a brother for that matter. He had always pictured her alone.
"My father was a bastard. He liked to hit things, to make things suffer. I remember the first time he ever hit me. It was a backhand across my face. I was seven and I came into his room when I heard a scream. I walked in to see him torturing a woman. He got angry and hit me, knocked me into the wall. His ring bit into my cheek. I still have a faint scar. When Ciem found out, he was furious. He rushed into my father's room and told my father if he found on more bruise on me that came from my father, Ciem would kill him," Novellee paused for breath and to closer examine the memories floating through her brain.
"That was the only time I ever heard him threaten any one. He wasn't one for violence and I knew it. If our father had known us better he would have known that the threat was likely a bluff. I'm not sure if it was because it was so unlike him."
Burdock listened in silence. When she had spoken of her father a cold nothingness had entered her voice. It was clear to him that she felt nothing for her father. But when she spoke of her brother, her voice was filled with love. A love that he now realized he wished she felt for him.
Maybe it was the way she had opened to him, or the way she looked so lost when she spoke of her brother. It could even be simply that everything she did drew him to her. But at that moment he knew that he loved her. All that was left was to convince her that she loved him too.
"What was your brother's real name?" he wondered wanting to know everything about her so that he could be closer to her. And like the clamshell her mouth snapped close sealing the pearl of her memories inside.
Her initial gut reaction to refuse to say any more was again breached by her brother's voice, telling her to explain it to Burdock, to tell him why she never spoke his name. So she did, not because of her brother's voice, but because she found herself wanting to tell him.
"In Serinda a name is sacred. When a person becomes worthy of honor, he gives up his name. That name is never spoken again for to say it is to dishonor him. It is the greatest insult on that person to say the name aloud. This is why I cannot tell you my brother's true name. In his death he gained the highest honor and his name shall never pass these lips."
"How did he die?" Burdock asked after a long silence that followed Novellee's words. He understood and respected Novellee's culture and would not pressure her to say it or ask her again for his name. Novellee had gotten to her feet during the exchange to look out the window, her back to him.
"He was murdered," Novellee said, hate filling her voice with each word, "By your precious knights. They cut him down when he tried to protect me. They also killed me father, and for that I am grateful. But they killed my whole family, and left me alive. That is why I hate all Tortallans."
Her words trembled with what he thought was pain and when he went to turn her around to face him he thought to see tears in her eyes. Instead he saw a hate so deep, so strong, it consumed her. This hate was a living, breathing being and it lived within her.
"Then why did you come here, if you hate us so much?" He asked quietly. He had to drop his eyes, for he could not stand to see that hate, knowing that it included him for he was a Tortallan.
"I had no where else to go! For years I listened to stories about Tortall, yearned for them," she yelled, her Serindain accent heavy now in her angry, hate filled words. "And they told me of a great country with a fare and just King. Of a world where everyone was given a chance to make something of themselves. And where the knights were the most noble and honorable of them all."
She took a deep shuddering breath to reign in her temper, but the attempt failed. She spun away from Burdock to pace, but soon faced him again, spewing forth more angry words. "I came here to see if it was true. At least the part I was unsure of. And I found that it was true. Everything I had ever heard was true. Everything except the knights.
"And why couldn't that be true! Why couldn't the one thing that mattered most be true? Those knights killed my brother, butchered his lovely face, took everything from me before I had a chance to even know it existed. I was nine when they came to my house and left me for dead."
Her voice lowered from a yell to a whisper. "Why didn't they kill me, Burdock? Why couldn't they have killed me and spared my brother? He was the one that would have made something of his life. He was the one that was the better child. He was the important one, the special one, the more deserving one. I'll I've done is waste away my life with me woes, becoming an assassin, less then dirt in his opinion. I live my life with violence, something that he hated more then anything. If he could see me now, he would hate me.
"But it's to late for me to change anything. All I can do is live out my life the way I've made it become. It's the least I can do for him, now that it's to late to change," she sat back down her shoulders hunching and her arms limp at her sides. The fight was gone from her, the hatred wasting away the little strength that she had stored during her sleep.
Burdock looked at her as she sat and one word entered his mind: defeated. She looked as if she had just lost the biggest gamble in her life and then been kicked in the gut.
And after hearing and seeing her hatred, a hatred that included him, he still wanted to be apart of her life. And hearing about her past made him feel included. He had no idea of knowing that he was the only one she had ever told. Simply knowing that she had told him made his heart stutter inside.
He didn't know if she would accept his actions, he did after all share a heritage with the people who killed her family, but he had to try. Sitting on the bed beside Novellee he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and hugged her to his side.
Novellee didn't know why she felt so comfortable around him. He didn't deserve her to be nice to him, but for some reason she couldn't blame Burdock for her past. She couldn't seem to blame any of the Tortallan's she had met in these last few months and in her heart she knew she never would.
Clinging to hate was the only thing that kept her sane. For ten years her sole purpose for living was to get revenge on the men who had ruined her life. She had hated these Tortallan's from a distance because she couldn't stomach to be close to them. But now that she was working with them she realized her hate was misplaced. These people were as they were in the stories. They were noble and just and tried their hardest to be fair.
And she hated to admit it, oh how she hated. She wanted to continue to hate them, but how could she when she had just more or less told this man that she hated him and he tried to comfort her?
Burdock was making it impossible for her to hate any of them, and for once, she stopped trying. She simply lay her head done on his shoulder and allowed him to hold her.
"Ciem was my world," she whispered, her voice choked with tired tears. Burdock couldn't see them, but he knew they were there. "And when he was taken from me I didn't know what to do."
"Shhh," he breathed resting his head on her head and stroking her silky hair. She remained silent and allowed her arms to creep around his waist. "What did his name mean?"
She sighed heavily. She had known Burdock would ask this and was prepared to tell him. "The names are Serindain. Ciem means destiny. I gave it to him because he was fascinated with destiny. He was always reading books on it and many times we debated on it."
He heard the smile in her voice and looked down to see it on her beautiful face. He was filled with his newfound love when she looked into his green eyes with her gray ones and saw the twinkling smile in them.
They sat in silence for a long time as Novellee began to drift asleep in his embrace. She sighed and unconsciously snuggled closer, seeking his warmth as well as giving her own.
"And your name meant?" he inquired softly, not wanting to disturb her.
"Forgiven," she breathed as she drifted to sleep.
