Challenge: #45 In disguise

Name: Esentrik0

Title: Knight in Shining Armor

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: It'd help if you read 10, slight spoilers.

"Babe, I'm sorry." Ranger begged.

"Ric, thats not fair!" I cried back.

"Quierda," He looked at me sternly but a grin was spread across his face. "I promise I'll be back by midnight."

I made a puppy dog face, sticking my lower lip out as far as I could. "Now that," He said, kissing what he could of my upper lip, "is not fair."

"Fine. Midnight." I sulked.

He shook his head and muttered something about me being impossible. Then with another quick kiss, he left the office.

"Damn Skippy." Lula said.

"What?" I snapped.

"Someone's not happy." Connie piped in.

Yes someone wasn't happy! My first Haloween with Ranger. Haloween was my favorite holiday of all time. The leaves on the trees were turning orange, the weather nice; no too cold, not to hot. You could pretend to be anyone for one, single night. AND HE HAD TO WORK!

Not just any work, mind you. Chasing a FTA which in his file said, "weilds butcher knife" in big, bold, point 16 font. Ranger was a big dude, but a butcher knife can do real damage if you're not careful. I don't know why I even bothered trying to fight him on it. We both knew that if he didn't go tonight, he might never catch ol' Monty Conenlini. Ric never said anything, but my ESP was getting stronger.

I left the office feeling grumpy. You just can't take away a costume party away from me like that. Ok, so I could still go, but I would be no fun at all. Catwoman needs a Batman. I started my little car. It was a tomato red Dodge Intrepid. Just perfect for my budget. It was used, of course, but it ran well for six whole weeks.

The same amount of time I'd been "dating" batman. Being married to the man still scared me. I looked at my ring. A whole 20 karats, three diamonds set in the gold. They didn't stick out too much. They curved around the ring. And they didn't get caught in things. I thought it was perfect the second it was on my finger.

One, entire year ago. Tonight at midnight, we would celebrate our first anniversary. In our honor, Sally had set up a anniversary costume party at Willie's for us. The "spiciest" club in town (as Grandma Mazur put it).

Oh boy!

I drove home. I had nowhere else to go. I pulled out of Trenton, off to the Bat-Kingdom. The gates had a R and a M in cast iron. For awhile, Tank thought it was funny and put up a cardboard S and P underneath it with duct tape. That lasted untill the sprinkler broke and it got too soggy and fell off.

I punched in the code and the gate slid open and I followed the tree-lined street to the garage. A 4-car garage with a Bug-Truck, a Porshe, a motorbike and an empty space for me. All the other cars were black, so the red was quite a sight. I let myself into the house. It scaned my hand and beeped to signal I was granted clearence.

I threw my keys into the ceramic bowl on the entry table. They landed with a chink. I pulled off my sweater and folded it neatly on the arm of the couch. From the kitchen, I could hear Rex going around on his wheel. He liked it here.

So did I. The best part was the multi-headed shower. Ranger had an infinate amount of hot water, and a shower massage overhead, and two mounted on each adjacent wall. I took a quick relaxing shower, and I was soon joined. "When'd you get home?"

"Came to get clean and make sure you knew knew I didn't forget."

"I knew you didn't forget. But it's still not fair. I can't be Catwoman if there's no Batman!"

"Babe, they'll be another Haloween."

I grunted and snuggled into Ranger. I had gotten over the sharing-a-shower thing long ago. Everytime I took one, so did he for the first three months. I was enjoying this, until his cell phone began to ring in the back pocket of his jeans outside the shower. Ranger kissed the back of my neck and stepped out. He returned the call, dressed and left to save a third world country.

I finished my shower not long after. I droped onto the bed, with only my towel on. Hanging in the doorway of the walk-in closet was the identical costumes. They wern't spandex like the other costumes. They were originals too. Mary Lou made them, the homework for her sowing class.

I had spent hours with her, taking and retaking measurements. I was poked with a pin so many time, I was beginning to think I was immune to it. Batman's was a bit more difficult bacause he wouldn't sit still long enough to be poked. In under two months, they were sitting in the closet, waiting for this night.

Wahoo. I decided I needed to make sure I hadn't gained weight and wouldn't fit into it. I slipped it on, and t fit perfectly. Guess all that running was good for me.

I looked at the clock. I had an hour and a half. With over 400 channels, I could find something.

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The room was packed. Willie's had only been open for a mere fiveteen minutes, and already it smelled like sweaty spandex. I ran into alot of people. Mooner and Douggie, both wearing homemade Captain Kirk suits, arguing over whose was better. I couldn't decide, so I told them they were both perfect.

Sally had on a electric blue sequin dress with a scream mask pulled over his head. I caught a glimpse of him, banging his head to his guitar, and decided to avoid him. Lula was there, and god only knows what she was going as.

But no one entirely special, like say, Ranger.

I took a seat at the bar next to a guy in a funny pink rabbit suit. I didn't ask, so I tiped my chair to the left so my back was turned on the rabbit. I hated rabbits ever since the Abrunzzi stuff awhile back.

"Can I get you anything?" The bartender asked.

I waived him away. I was a cheep drunk, and if I started now, I'd have a hangover untill spring. Song after song, dance after dance, I watched the crowd. What a way to spend your anniversary, or Haloween for that matter.

"You look lost." Said a stranger.

The stranger was big. But friendly. In a full suit of armor, helmet and all. He sat down next to me, more like leaned on the seat. "Pain to sit in this thing. If I can, I can't get up." The brittish accent was highly noticable.

I smiled and laughed a little. My mood brightened. The bartender came back, got Knigh's order, and asked for mine. I look a hard lemonaide and a glass of water. A few minutes later, a frosted beer and lemonaide slid across the table. I took a sip of the lemonaide, and realized it was really strong in the hard area. I mixed it with the water untill I was happy.

Knight watched me, not touching his beer. "I'm a cheep drunk and I have all night to go."

It was his turn to laugh. It echoed through the grills on the helmet. He lifted the hood and took a hearty swig of the beer. I looked around it, trying to find a face, but all I saw was a black mask.

"Cheater." He said and the beer hit the table.

"Can't help it. Genetics."

We talked, drank, and bobbed our heads to the good songs. The feather on his helmet was a burgandy color, and swayed too and fro with each word he spoke.

After an hour or so, I stood up. "My butt's asleep."

"You share that with everyone?" Knight asked and struggled up.

"No."

We had already been over that fact that I was married. He had been married too, and had a daughter in another state that was going to be a teenager in November. He worked for a law firm outside of Trenton, and was visiting on buisness.

"You wanna dance?" He asked

"Can you?" I eyed the suit.

"I can try, but I won't do it alone. I'd feel like an idiot." His suit clanged as he laughed again.

"Blame it on the beer," I said grabbing his plated hand. "Sure."

He danced pretty well with his disadvantage. Not on a level like Ranger, who I had tried with once or twice and both of us had ice on our toes the morning after. Another big fella tapped Knight on the shoulder. "Hey, how's it goin'?" He asked Knight

The newest big guy was dressed in a big furry suit. He had the cat-in-the-hat top hat on, and his face was powder white. He smiled and tipped the hat. "Take it easy on him. He's not much of a partier." With that, he pounded a fist on Knight's head and walked back into the crowd.

After the third consecutive dance, Knight was having a rough time standing. I half-walked, half-dragged him over a bar stool. "This...damn...thing...is...heavy..." He heaved.

"Take it off. The helmet atleast." I said and ordered him another beer.

"Can't. I lost a bet. I have to wear it all night."

"Lucky you." I smiled and passed him his beer and sat down in the adjacent seat.

Rabbit man was long gone. He got so drunk, he knocked over one of the guitarist, and was thrown out. Me and Knight did more talking and laughing and joking. My watch beeped and I checked it. 10:00.

"I should be home. My husband'll be there soon." I said and grabbed my bag.

"You wouldn't mind giving me a lift would ya? I really don't think I should be driving." Yeah, I realized that after his 5th beer got switched for a big-ass margarita.

"No problem. I'm not good with directions though."

Knight got up and stumbled a little bit. "I can get you there. I'm not that drunk."

I smiled and walked him to my car.

He turned me into a little road a block or two from Morelli's house. I stopped outside and waited for him to get out.

"Wanna come in?" He asked.

"I really shouldn't. Ric'll probably be home."

"Come on. Is the knight suit really that big of a turn off?"

This was not the conversation a married woman should be having with a man other than the one who bought the ring around her finger.

"I LOVE RANGER! He'd never forgive me whe he found out. I'd never forgive myself. And I'd feel like Dickie all over again. I won't to that. To either of us." I said and made sure my foot was on the gas. I was ready to go.

The door was pulled back open and kight squished back into the seat. "Then take me home princess."

The accent was gone. I stared at Knight. "What?"

None of it all made sence untill the helmet was removed. Sweat matted his hair down and rolled off his nose. His face was flushed. Never had I seen his face so flushed.

I had seen the face though. Just recently, I'd seen the face. The face I married.

"Babe?"

I realized I was staring, and the Intrepid was idiling in the middle of the street. "Testing me, Ric?" I asked sweetly and pulled the car on the main street.

"Yeah Babe."

"How'd I do?" I stopped at the corner light.

He turned my head so I could face his. There was a long, deep kiss. It lasted untill the cars behind us began to honk. The light had turned green. I gunned it home.

"Go take a shower. You smell." I said, shoving his sore, plated body towards the stairs.

"No fair." He said and lunged at me.

We played this game alot. I had gotten off the see-think-react phase, and moved right on to the see-react one. Only this one, I reacted too slowly. He caught my wrist and pulled me into his arms. The metal was cold from the air conditioner in my car. I hadn't yet switched to the heater, it just wasn't that cold yet.

He carried me to the bathroom, where piece by piece he pulled off the knight suit. It hit the floor in a pile. "That was heavy." He complained and begain working on my wardrobe.

I was completely naked, my clothing tossed into the sink. He was still wearing a drenched white t-shirt and a pair of pumpkin boxers. I steped over, kissing him on the chin. He looked down at me and I ran my hands under his shirt. In a flash, I pulled down and caught the waist band of the boxers and they fell to his knees.

I switched the water on and pulled him in. Usually such a task took a lot of effort on my part, but his body ached bacause of the added 50 pounds.

The shower lasted longer than any shower I'd ever taken in my life. Even when I dumpster-dived for Morelli's keys it didn't take as long. I smelled like rotten fish for days, after taking two incredibly long showers. My stomached growled. It hadn't been fed since 3 o'clock, since me and Ric agreed we'd wait untill tonight.

He smiled and steped out of the shower. I shampooed my hair and rinsed it quickly and shut the water. Ranger was ringing out his shirt, which was still on him when I pulled him in. The towel was tied loosely around his waist.

"Don't even think about it." He warned

"I wasn't!" I said defensivly and put my hands in the air. I pulled on one of Ranger's shirts and a pair of sweatpants, forgetting underwear since it wouldn't be on long after dinner.

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I didn't to extremely bad. Nothing was burnt badly, and everything jiggled if it was suposed to and held firm when it wasn't. The best meal I ever conjured up, even though Ranger stood over my shoulder the entire time.

Sex wasn't bad either. Married one year, and it still had the same magic it did the night of our honeymoon; minus the beach and the yacht.

"You certiainlly are. A. Knight. In. Shining. Armor." I said before falling asleep in his arms, for the 364th night in a row.

He never failed to be home, and when he went away on buisness, I went too. I didn't trust the "I've gotta work late" excuse because it had been a lie everytime I heard it and Ranger knew and respected that. So he made sure I'd never worry whose bed his boots were under. (He He He, country-music fan humor...)

Prev:

Connie: somehow, I really don't find it romantic that he felt the need to test her that way. :-(

Jersygirl: That was great! I love the humor in your story!

I-forgot-my-name: i love it, really really good