The long awaited update…

It another rough day at NERV, and a tired Misato walked to open the door to her apartment. It is nearly midnight and all….is blasting rock music? That surprised the Major, knowing the nature of the room's other occupants. Shinji would never do this, Asuka never listen to rock, and Pen^2 is not the type of waterfowl. As she carefully key her lock while unbuckling her hoister, the major carefully open the door.

What she saw before her was utterly bizarre, in a scene almost surreal, Misato found the third child trapped between two naked Asukas (no one of them is Tsuka, she mentally correct herself), who were busy stripping the poor boy the last articles of his clothes.

In the other corner, a shocked Kensuke is pinned to floor by a very happy-and-smiling Rei, who is busy removing her clothes and his.  All Misato can hear under the roar of music is the whimpering Otaku saying: "Ayanmi…aren't we going a little too fast?"

(Shinji could not talk since he got himself a mouthful…of Asuka, and a handful Tsuka, and a toothpick-ful…)

And in the center of the room, in various stage of dress…well more like in various stage of undress, lies no less than ten identical blue-haired Reis exploring their own sexuality, and all over the room the smell of Yeshibu and other odors that accompany such carnal activity ran heavily in the air. And judging by the official-sounding wails threatening detention or better efforts, someone is clearly having fun with the class Rep Hikari in the kitchen.

Like all military women, the first thing they do in a situation that might threaten the to end their career is shooting the lead male who (she thinks) is responsible. In this case would be the Kaji (who is dressed like a pimp of course, with a suit and a skull cap to match) lounging on the sofa with a Chinese Ming-Dynasty pipe in hand and smiling mischievously at her.

The gun went…click. NERV denied her replacement ammo citing their lack of faith in their proper use. Sighing hopelessly, Misato said: "Well if you can't kill them, join them, well just get off before the cops comes…" And start undoing her blouse with the help of two of the Reis…

BAM! SLING! CRASH! BOOM! MEEP!

(Sounds of struggle occur, following by the sound of a sword being drawn and whistle through the air as it struck pompous flesh of the righteous, then drowned by chants against blasphemes, following the light of several holy objects being drawn, automated gun fire and then heavy sound of construction took place)

We apologize for this interruption; we are the society for free sexual-innuendo in entertainment. We believe the content of this Fan-fic is highly inappropriate for children or adults of any age. Therefore, we decided, with helps from the Southern Evangelical society (who helped remove several violent and un-family shows from TV), we will educate the author in the ways of proper etiquette so his Fan-fiction will be spiritually clean and rewarding like critic acclaimed shows like Full house and 7th Heaven. And yes, we are also associated with organizations such the Committee for the Un-American Activities, and the conservative war hawks of the GOP wing.  

Good (as in pompous) Looking-bible wielding man: Join the light side ma brother, for I see the word salvation written on your head if blazed on by fire…

Author: Kill me now….     NOOOOO!!!! NOT THE SAILOR MOON EPISODES!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion, Gainax does, must resist mind control

Good looking-bible wielding man: It looks we need to fight the demon with special power, boys, bring in the Oh! My goddess episodes.

Author: Hmmm…naked Peorths. 

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Chapter 10: Chaos and Anarchy

An apartment complex somewhere in Northern Tokyo-3

"That…was interesting." Kaji commented as the screen between the two men fade into black, darkening the apartment they were in considerably.

"An most unexpected boon, don't you think?" The figure in shadow answered, raising his glasses up his a little bit more.

"Indeed, may I?" Kaji points to the Fridge in the corner with his thumb.

"Be my guest." His companion replied. And Kaji withdraw two long bottle of Yeshibu from the Fridge, handing one to his partner, then pop one open for himself.

Leaving his own bottle on the desk unopened, the shadowy figure stared at Kaji and asked: " For now…the Rei problem is solved."

"Indeed, confusion to NERV." Kaji salute the other man with his bottle, and drank deeply. "But you realize that Gendo will simply have her replaced. You showed me the tank full of Reis last time…it would be a simple matter for them to active another one and kill this…promising copy."

"That could be indeed a problem, while I detest us wasting time on this side issue, it is necessary to see that this Rei survives. The clock is counting down as we speak, in order for our scenario to be completed on time, we must make sure she develops sufficient personality in time to see how great this world is and how unnecessary the Third Impact is. So therefore…" Turning around, the man in the shadows tap a command into his laptop.

"Ms. Kayona? I have a job for you."

That sentence sent Kaji into a cough fit, as it brought back memories from ten years ago…

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NERV Security facility, Munich 2004

As Kaji finish dumping Mrs. Sohryu's body into the entry tube for her final "sync test", the turn around to see Gendo walk off to speak to a little albino girl on the deck below. With no one else around noticing, Kaji reach into his coat and pressed a button to active the hidden microphone concealed there.

"Ms. Kayona? I have a job for you."

From the other end, a cheerful voice can be heard: "Sure boss, what you got in mind?"     

"There is this boy…"

"My goodness boss, you sound like my sister sometimes, I didn't know you are in to that kind of stuff, could get seven to ten…"

"Shut up. Now listen carefully, there is this boy I want to save, his name is Simon Illyan, and Keel wants him killed because he knows something…I do not know how the boy knows, but his continued existence on this side of the mortal coil is vital to our interests, so I want to ask you to do an Operation 104 on him. Can you arrange it?"

A pause followed as the voice on the other side considering, and Kaji can almost hear the gears, no the silicon chips in her head, grinding a new plan together. 

"When?"

"Right after sun down, before the spooks start moving, now here is the address…"

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10 years later

"Understood boss, so seven girls, from the NERV HQ in extreme high level security, feed them all a bit Prozac to dissolve their nerve suppression drugs, use Gendo's private Achieves to replicate memories for all of them, dodge the inevitable NERV security team…would you like fries and drinks with that too?"

Without missing a beat Simon replied: "Yes, be a dear and pick up a order from the local fast food place on your way back would you?

Several seconds elapses…

"That was a joke."

"And this is a order, now get to work." Without another thought, the shadowy figure shut off the Com-link. "It's better to cut off argument before they form, don't ya think?"

Kaji nodded, then ask: "So um, Gerald, what do you plan with the lovely ladies after you get with them? Open a brothel?"

"ugh." Both men reel at the horrible image of a bunch of naked Reis running around.


 "Tell you what, I will think of something, meanwhile, let's finish our plan for NERV Russia, did the Russian Premier agree to stage that 'accidental' weapon testing in the Siberia base?"

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 Present day

The second day of the Katsuragi household females' collective PMS…

And everything is in disarray, Pen^2 barricaded itself in the fridge and refuse to come out, Asuka clawed away at the walls, while Tsuka bitched endlessly with Misato, and poor Shinji tried to get away from it all, only to have himself dragged and pressed into cooking duty, with one of the red heads watching over him with a whip in hand.  

As Shinji prepared another of those horrible tasting meal that the girls eager to dig in, he heard another argument from the kitchen:

"So what do you mean I can't go on the school trip?" One of the red head screamed.

"It is the way things are! Somebody have to stay behind in case if a angel attack occurs, and plus, Shinji is staying behind and NOT complaining."

Oh Urd, here we go. Shinji thought.

And two Asukas bursting from the kitchen, with empty (or half full) beer cans flying behind them. But much to his surprise the two girls dashed into their room instead.

Not a good idea to follow.

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After the two were alone, Asuka turned around to stare at her adopt sister: "OK, here is what we are going to do. For the next two weeks, we are switching personalities!"

Tsuka blinked, twice.

"You are going to be me, and I am going to be you, so you go pilot my EVA and I am going on that school trip."

"No way, doing that once is horrible enough, and I don't want end up in that class-D suit again."

"Too bad, huh, what is a class-D suit?"

Tsuka explain it at length, and include the incident where she nearly became a volcano god's sacrifice.

"Oh I see, so I guess twice it would be easy for you, and plus, you OWE me, if you tick me off, I might just blurt out your true origins."

Despite the fact Tsuka is well aware the little chip in her head is feeding false data and cold trail to the collective NERV security forces, that threat never the less made her pause. The PMS also helped too.

"You wouldn't."

"I would, if it would get me some relaxation time AND get Kaji NOT seeing me in something THAT silly."

With a screech of frustration, Tsuka burst out the room in fury, and slam into Shinji who was outside in the hallway gathering up Misato's discarded clothing to put into laundry, as a stunned Tsuka remove the assorted female paraphernalia from her clothes, she send a seething glare into her male companion on the floor (of course whining in pain).

"That's it! Third BOY," Whipping out a whip from her back, "I AM SOOO going to make you beg for it before this is over!"

"Oh Dear Belldandy…" was all Shinji could say as the leather weapon decent on him with devastating force….And Misato is still drinking.
 

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Later that day, NERV HQ Japan

Looking outside to the window, Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki said to his lone companion: "So what do we do with her now?" No point of mentioning who, Gendo already smashed his computer after Rei start telling bedroom stories to a bunch of 9th graders.

"Replace her, as soon as the Sec 2 find out where she went. Once they get her, hold her for containment until we get back from our trip." Pressing a key to the intercom, Gendo speak into it: "Major Katsuragi!"

A nervous and slightly drunk (but bitchy) voice came from the other side: "Yes sirrr?"

"Never mind." Gendo quickly terminate the link and press a new one. "Dr. Akagi, you are in charge until I get back, follow Major Katsuragi's orders should anything come up…through I do not suggest you follow her more…creative initiatives through."

"Yes sir, I understand." After he shut off the Terminal, Gendo turned around, "Ok, lets go."

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Main while

Mustering every once of self-control, Kensuke stare up to the sun-glasses-and trench coat Section 2 agent in front his door. Signing once, Kensuke begin to wonder if all NERV agents are so incompetent as him.

"No sir…"

"Call me Chris, Chris Fields. With an S in the end."

"No Chris, I have not seen an albino girl named Rei Ayanami around here."

"Isn't she in your class? And kissed you today?"

 "Well, um yea, I guess, but she said she is busy after school?"

"Oh, did you know where she went?

"No sir, now if u excuse me, I have to go."

"Oh alright, I will see you then."

As Kensuke lock the door and remove the hidden bug so carefully hidden under the carpet by the NERV agent, and the one in the flower pot, and the one in the Umbrella stand, the Otaku begin to wonder what made the quality of spies go down so bad. It would appear all those "cool" spies he read in the history books and novels, Like Miles Voksagian or Bendict Arnold are all gone.

But his thoughts were interrupted by a smiling Ayanmi walking out his shower room with nothing but a bathrobe on. Gulping audibly, Kensuke asks: "So um, had a nice bath?"

Tell me that Prozac is wearing off soon! TELL ME the Prozac is wearing off soon! I want the little blue-Nazi back, really, seriously oh geez, this is not what I prayed for when I said I wanted a girlfriend. Yikes what is that evil glint in her eyes? Kensuke thought.

"I am bored, Kensuke, I think I want to play one of your games." Ayanami flashed one of her…wait Ayanamis don't have a trademark smile. {My bad-author}

"It wouldn't be Monopoly right?"

Rei give him a particular look as if saying 'are you insane', then replied: "Noo, I want to play RISK." Then grab the boy and drag him upstairs to his bedroom. If anyone was listening, the Otaku utter one word: "Mara!" then the bedroom door slammed shut.

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{You may say this below violate my self-insert/ACC policy, but I really cannot use any of the original characters for this part-author}

Late that evening

With the aura of a woman who owns the place, Kayona march into the Clone Containment Center dressed in a white lab coat, with a fake blonde wig over her head and a suitcase in her hand. If anyone gave a passing glance, they would mistake her for Ritsuko working late, just the image Kayona wanted to project.

Reaching into her lab coat and removing an access card, she slid it through the armored door. Inside, stood seven cylinders containers, each filled up with LCL and one blank eyed girl.

Poor things. Kayona thought, it must be rough to know they would exploit you even after you are dead.

Sliding the fake ID card through one of the Com terminals, Kayona begin a rapid-fire series of command into the controls. While she is no Ritsuko, she does have extensive experience in hacking. And she has Gendo's codes. Without seconds the entire system fell under her control.

And she quickly begin to order the machines to replicate memories for all seven girls, then almost as an afterthought, she order the computer to imprint a memory of all seven of them remembering her as their guardian, and themselves as sisters.

Emotional attachments always come in handy. Kayona thought.

"Ok, who are you?"

Suddenly three new bodies showed up in the lab, Ritsuko and two NERV security guards. Both men had their guns at ease position, once Ritsuko enter the lab, the two men waited at the door.

It would take them 3-5 seconds to bring their guns to bear, that is two seconds slow. Kayona secretly smiled. Then she stared right into Rituko's eyes, with her 5'6" height and a lab coat covering her body, she nearly mimic the older woman except the other had blue, not green eyes.

Without even blinking Kayona replied: "I am from NERV HQ, I am here to take the girls into custody for studies in the Munich HQ."

"I know no such order," narrowing her eyes, Ritsuko countered: " And I am in charge here, the Commander would brief me in a situation if it arises."

Rule#1 in spying- when caught with a problem you cannot answer; supply a variable for the enemy for he or she to define.

"Um, is that the really old guy, you know, from the committee?"

"Chairman Keel? Why? I don't get this? Why would he do this?" Murmuring to her self and a worried line appear on her face.

Seeing her opponent broke in cold sweat, Kayona press ahead: "I was not told of any particulars, ma'am, his order was 'bring back the first child clones for reconstruction'."

"Oh all right, hmm…maybe this time Gendo can't play with his dolls anymore and realize who is the best." Ritsuko murmured under her breath, but not realizing the other woman can hear it clear as a bell.

"Very well, give me your password for exit."

Rule #2 in spying, in the event of need for quick data, simply make a scene and grab as much sympathy as possible while looking for what you need.

With that, Kayona double over in a storm of coughs, while press the wrist-Com for a list of passwords.

"Jeez girl, you shouldn't be here, you should be at home in bed, just give me the code and go."

Looking up with her hand still in her mouth, Kayona replied: " 3902-07-Alaph-Hope."

"You idiot, there is no code! I knew this was too good to be true. I don't know…"

Rule #3 in spying- if everything goes SNFU, grab a hostage and shoot everything that moves. And she proceed to do that. With one arm she grab the blonde woman and another she withdraw a gun from her hand. With a speed trained from hours of SEAL training back home, she shot the first guards right between the eyes. The second guard brought his MPK-15 to bear and snapped off two rounds, one struck one of the control panels, while another crack the glass screen for one of the Rei-containers.

{MPK-5 is currently one of the best submachine guns around, so I figure by 2015 they should have a better model then…it will take more than the second impact to stop the American gun industry-author}   

Kayona's return fire was a little bit more accurate, and the guard collapsed on to the ground…with eyes bleeding pools of blood.

"You, you…" was all the Magi scientist can utter as she watch the guards go down, smiling evilly, Kayona let her go…

Rule #4 in spying: It always pays to leave a source of confusion behind.    

…And proceed to kiss Ritsuko full in the lips, right before the secret agent pistol-whipped her.  

"Yuck, I hate kissing women," noticing Ritsuko's hair was looking a little different, Kayona kick the fallen girl's head once, and the wig slipped off. "OH come on…at least I was decent enough to DYE my hair…jeez."

As the last Rei cleared the containers, Kayona turned around and threw the suitcase she had carried with her at the girls, inside contained seven school uniforms and some sidearms.

"Come on girls, we got go, dress up and follow me."

"Yes mother." All seven replied and proceed to dress themselves.

Raising an eyebrow, Kayona thought: Oh yea, this year's family reunion is going to be interesting; Yes dad, although you did see me for a year, I was pregnant and had seven kids, they are so polite aren't they? Their names and who is the father? Well…

Another chapter done, Not sure if I am continuing, too much school work, after school job and there is that girl I am really interested in…writing…girls…writing…girls…such a hard choice…