The Cluedoville Files Case #11: Silver and Gold

It was February the seventh, a week from St. Valentine's Day, here in Cluedoville, North Dakota. Love was in the air, or was that fog? Either way, things were going swimmingly at my office. Miss Josephine Scarlet (whose 30 days in a convent were up), was early, her coffee was perfect, and I had solved every case I had so far, which was none. But, that figure changed around 4:00 PM today. That's when the one and only Dr. Abigail Silver blew into my office like a whirlwind. She was dressed in her favorite silver dress, which showed off her stork-like legs.

"Uh, hi Richard," she said in a way that made me think she was hiding something. "Joey, can I speak to you for a moment?"

The two women retreated to another room. Now, most people I know would realize that what these two were discussing was none of their business. But, being a private investigator, everyone's business is my business. I got a cup and listened to their conversation.

"So, what's up, Doc? Pardon the pun."

"He proposed!"

"Shut up! Ed popped the question?"

Maybe I should explain. Abby had been going out with Mr. Edward Gold for a few months now. Ed is the local librarian. From what I heard from Joey, Abby and Ed were very good together and very much in love. Now, back to me eavesdropping.

"It was so romantic, Joey. He said he beat off some guy who tried to steal the ring, but he got it back for me, because he loved me so much. Then he got on one knee, and he said, 'Dr. Silver, would you please make me the happiest man in the world, no, the galaxy?'"

"So, let's see that rock!"

"Here it is," Silver said.

"A gold band?" asked Joey. "I thought you were allergic to gold."

"I am, but this isn't gold, it's a copper alloy that only looks like gold. Ed knows me so well."

"Take it off; I want to get a closer look at that diamond."

"I can't."

"Come on, Abby. It's not like the engagement is over if you take it off."

"I can't get it off! I'm trying as hard as I can!"

"Let me at it, I'm stronger than you are…Hey, what's with this ring?"

"I told you, I can't get it off! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"

That's when I burst into the room. "What's going on?" I asked as if I didn't already know.

"Dick, get us some soap!" I couldn't believe I was taking orders from my own secretary! Anyway, the soap got the ring off of Abby's finger. We saw that it was red and swollen, like she was having an allergic reaction.

"What was that you said about your ring being a copper alloy?" I shouldn't have said that.

"Richard, you were spying on us?"

"Well, it's good that I did!" I said in my own defense. "Obviously, that ring was made of gold. Abby wouldn't have had a reaction otherwise."

"So, why would Ed buy me a gold ring? He knows I'm allergic."

"I don't know. Maybe I should talk to him."

And so I went to the library. The first thing I did was look through the stacks for I book that I really wanted to read. Failing to find it, I then met with the librarian.

"Hey Ed, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Not right now, I'll talk when I get off in a few minutes."

I spent the time reading until Ed was ready to talk.

"So, what's the deal? Is something wrong?"

"Actually, Dr. Silver had an allergic reaction to that ring you gave her."

He was visibly shocked. "What? How can that be? I gave her a copper alloy ring!"

"Well, the ring she had on when she came into my office today was pure gold."

"I…I don't see how it could…" His voice trailed off. "Oh, damn! I bumped into the professor on my way to propose. I'll bet he switched rings on me to make me look like an insensitive jerk!"

"And he would do this, why?"

"Because he wants my baby for himself!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, I was leaving McDonalds after lunch, and I had the ring with me. I was going to surprise Abby at work when she finished lunch. Anyway, Plum and I bumped into each other and I dropped the ring. Pete picked it up and took off with it, saying 'Nobody is going to marry Miss Silver but me!' I chased him for a block and a half before I caught him. I wrestled the ring away from him."

Edward Gold looked up thoughtfully. "I didn't see him carrying the ring until I tackled him; that was how he switched rings on me!"

"Come with me, we'll get Abby's ring back from him."

Ed and I knocked on Professor Peter Plum's door. "Who is it?" came the response.

"Pete, it's Dick. Open up, you know why I'm here."

Pete answered the door in his pajamas. "Can't this wait until morning?" he said groggily.

"No, Pete. Do you mind if we come in?"

"Oh, not at all. Can I pour you something to drink?"

Pete kept one notorious bottle of whiskey in his house. Legend has it the late Mrs. Plum drank some and she died instantly. That whiskey is actually the fifth registered weapon in Cluedoville.

"Uh, no thanks," I said.

"Okay, then, how about you, Edward?"

"No, not until you return my fiancée's ring!" Mr. Gold shouted.

"What are you talking about? I didn't take any ring."

"Don't deny it! You bumped into me on purpose at noon today!"

"It wasn't me that bumped into you. You're just jumping to conclusions."

"What?"

"The person who ran off with Miss Silver's ring was dressed in all black and a mask. There's no way to prove it was me."

"Wait," Ed said very matter-of-factly. "How do you know that the guy who bumped into me was in all black and a mask?"

"I saw the whole thing happen. I saw Edward leaving McDonalds with the ring. Then a long shadow appeared behind him. Then I saw the figure bump into him on purpose and steal the ring. Edward chased the figure for a block and a half, tackled him, and wrestled ring from the figure."

Ed looked very apologetic. "Well, his story seems to be in order; maybe he is innocent."

I pulled out my gun and leveled it at the professor. "Great story, Pete. Now give Edward the ring." He did as I asked.

As Mr. Gold and I were leaving Plum's house, he asked me how I knew he was lying. "He said that he saw a long shadow creeping up on you. But it was noon! No way there was any shadow creeping up on you!"

We arrived at Dr. Silver's apartment around 9:00 PM that evening. She was still in bed sick. Ed came down to her and said, "Honey, I'm sorry I gave you a gold ring, but it wasn't my fault…"

Abby cut him off. "Baby, I know you better than that. I'm just glad you weren't hurt."

Mr. Gold smiled sheepishly. He slid the copper ring onto his lovely bride's pinky finger (her ring finger still being swollen) and they kissed.

"I love you, Dr. Silver."

"I love you too, Mr. Gold."