The Cluedoville Files Case #12: Money Problems
I spent the better part of this morning balancing my checkbook. Unless I got a case today, I couldn't afford to pay my rent this month. Miss Josephine Scarlet, my secretary, could tell something was bothering me.
"Don't worry Dick, you'll get a case today, and even if you don't, being homeless isn't the worst thing in the world. Just look at Miss Peach."
"Thanks Joey. I only hope it doesn't come to that."
It was around noon that we got a visit from the DA, Mrs. Blanche White. She had some of her lunch hanging from the corner of her mouth, and looked surprised to find us still in our office.
"Mr. Brown, shouldn't you be off having lunch?" she asked.
"I can't afford lunch. Tight times, you know."
"Nonsense," Mrs. White was saying, "everyone needs a good lunch! Tell you what, why don't you come over to my house for lunch? My husband is making beef stroganoff!"
I stood up a little too fast and I got dizzy. Well, I was excited! Mr. William White is the best chef in Cluedoville, North Dakota. I am a huge fan of his beef stroganoff. Bill is unemployed, which is a shame, because he would make a great living doing what he does best! Anyway, I was so excited I was out the door before I remembered my manners.
"Joey, would you like to join me?"
"No thanks, I'm watching my figure."
At the White house (pardon the pun), I ate hungrily. Blanche explained to her husband why I was there.
"Money problems, eh?" said Bill. "I know the feeling."
"How could you know the feeling?" I asked. "Your wife makes enough money for you to feed an army."
"No, I mean problems colleting money that is rightfully mine."
"You're unemployed, Bill," Mrs. White had said. "Where are you getting money?"
Mr. White looked a little nervous. "Alright, I confess, I was playing poker with the boys again."
"William, I am surprised at you! After you said you wouldn't!"
Being the Nosy Parker that I am, I couldn't help but butt into this discussion. "What are you guys talking about?"
Blanche turned to me. "Oh, sometimes Bill plays cards with Matt, Pete, Bob, and Ed. I tried to get him to stop gambling, but I think he plays because he likes the camaraderie."
Bill perked up. "Oh, hey, did you hear this, honey? Ed got engaged!"
"No way!"
They proceeded to talk about the romance between Dr. Abigail Silver and Mr. Edward Gold. Then Bill cleared his throat. "As I was saying, Matthew owes my about 150 dollars, and I haven't seen a dime of it!"
"Hey, maybe you and I should go over to his house and get your money," I offered.
"Great idea!" Mr. White said enthusiastically. "Let's go right now!"
"Not yet," I told him, "I still need my fee."
"Oh yeah," Bill said as he slipped me a 20.
On the way to the home of Mr. Matthew Peacock, I noticed a group of people doing work on the church. Sergeant Robert Gray was cutting down trees for wood with his axe, the fourth registered weapon in Cluedoville. Miss Rachel Peach was pulling logs with the help of her rope, the third registered weapon. Madame Samantha Rose was sawing logs into boards with her chainsaw, the eighth registered weapon. Reverend Jonathan Green was nailing boards to the church wall with his favorite hammer, the seventh registered weapon. But enough about weapons already.
We arrived at Peacock estate early in the afternoon. Bill rang the doorbell, and Matt answered it. He was wearing his work clothes.
"What do you want?" Clearly Mr. Peacock was aggravated.
"You know what I want, Peacock," said Bill in an angry tone of voice. "That 150 scratch you still owe me."
"You're tripping, White. I already paid you the money!"
"Then why did he ask me too come collect the money you owe him?" I asked.
"Obviously, he's trying to coerce me out of more money!"
Matt had a point. "Okay, then why don't you tell me 'in your own words' exactly how you got the money to Mr. White."
"Okay, I absolutely took the money out of the bank on the first of the month…"
Bill cut him off at that point. "What month?"
"I don't exactly remember. Anyway, I tried to contact you for almost two weeks after that. I tried to give it to you one time, but you wouldn't accept it because it was Friday the 13th. You told me to mail it to you, and that's what I did."
"That's total bull corn! You never gave me one red cent!"
"Well, I'd expect you to say that, you con man you!"
"Hey," I said, "there's no need to resort to personal attacks. Besides, I can tell which of you is lying."
"That's good," sighed Matthew. "Now, tell this liar to get off my property, please!"
"Okay, Matt, get off of Matt's property!"
Mr. Peacock gave me a confused look. "Huh?"
"You heard me. You never got the money out of the bank, and you never mailed one thin dime to Bill."
Matthew started to stammer. "O-o-o-of c-c-c-c-course I d-did! I…"
"Yeah, yeah, you got the money on the first of the month and you tried to give it to Mr. White on Friday the 13th. Hey, I'll bet you didn't know that any month with a Friday the 13th starts on a Sunday!"
Bill looked like he was thinking hard. "Yeah, that's right. So you would have had to get the money from the bank on the first of the month, which was a Sunday. But banks are closed on Sundays!"
Matt was visibly steamed. "All right, all right! If I get the money, will you please go away?"
"Naturally!" Maybe I should have said that a little less loudly. Mr. Peacock paid Mr. White the 150 dollars.
"I tell you what, that is the last time I invite Matthew Peacock over for a game of poker," said Bill.
"Hey, can I come?" I asked hopefully.
William looked at me with the stink eye for about three seconds. "I thought you had money problems."
"Oh yeah, I forgot." I have never felt so foolish in my entire life.
"Well, maybe next time," offered Bill.
Oh, hey, before I forget, when I said it was a five hour trip to Greenberry, I exaggerated; it was only one hour long. I'm sorry about that, readers.
