Disclaimer: Anything you don't recognize from the show is mine… everything else… I wish!

I lost it all when I found you

What should she do now? What was left to do, she couldn't surmise. She had shown up and there, standing where she would stand, walking into the house of the only boy she had ever loved was another girl. Jillian Summers, for the second time in her life, felt like she had no idea which way was up, which way she would turn, what direction she must take to find where she needed to go. The first time this happened, of course, is when she found out she was pregnant. Goodbye, medical school; goodbye St Anne's Catholic school; goodbye Jake, mom is whisking me away, far, far away.

The crying had subsided. What to do now? Tell Dad to call Mom to come and get me to take me back to the hell hole, where there must be a harsh punishment for running away. She needed to talk to someone and the person she usually would run to it Jennifer, her best friend from school. Jennifer wasn't there anymore, though. Her parents had her sent away, too. She "messed up" just as Jillian had.

"Geoff Evans, can I ask who is calling?"

"Please, I need to talk to my Dad right now."

"Jill, is everything okay? You sound upset."

"Because I am, can you go get my Dad, its really important." She waited a few more minutes, at the edge of the bed, with her heart pounding terribly in her chest. Her leg, out of nervous habit, was twitching with her heartbeat. She could hear some movement and then her father picking up.

"What is wrong, Sweetheart?"

"Has mom called you to tell you I'm gone? It's been what, three days now? Has she told you?"

"She called me this afternoon to announce that you went missing and how she will put you in your place when she finds you. Did something happen? Did she find you?"

"Did you tip her off?"

"I acted like I was busy and told her that she would fix it."

"I think I made a terrible mistake, Dad. I did what I promised Dad, and he looked at me like he wished that I never resurfaced."

"What are you talking about, Bean?"

"I went to his house and another girl was there. He looked at me like he saw a ghost. Worse, he looked at me in shock and that looked like he couldn't wait to get away from me. I can't do this."

"Did you talk to him?"

"The look said it all. What was I thinking? I've been gone for too long."

"Even if he has moved on, you still need to be apart of your child's life, Bean. Don't take after me and your mother."

She didn't know what to say.

"How can I see him again?"

"You still love him, don't you?"

"I don't think that I can just stop loving him."

"Then you need to let him know that. Love you, Jillian. Night."

She couldn't remember the last time he used her real name. Jake always joked that he called her Bean because he couldn't remember her real name. But he had a point; he was right for once. Jillian needed to let him know that she wanted to stick around and nothing was going to take her away this time.


"What the hell is that?" Peyton threw her jacket down on the arm chair next to the door.

"What?"

"Oh yeah, there goes Jenny's mother walking down the steps. How can you be so cool with that? I thought she was gone for good."

"Well, me too. I don't know what she is doing here, but I don't want to talk to her. I've been waiting for six months for her to come back. Now, I don't care."

Jake slumped down onto the couch and turned on the television. Peyton, knowing she hit a nerve, sat down next to him. He was fuming; his breathing said it all, and the way he flipped the channels without looking, it was obvious his mind was somewhere else. She curled up to his side and he looked at her, putting his arm around her.

"I'm sorry I brought it up. I can't imagine what you are thinking."

"I'll tell you. I'm hoping that she got what she came here for, and now she'll leave. She isn't going to come into Jenny's life and go right back out of it." He played with her hair as he looked at her. "I trusted her before and she let me down. I don't want Jillian to disappoint Jenny."

He was the sweetest guy that Peyton knew and she couldn't help counting herself as a lucky girl for being with such a great guy. She gave him a long kiss on the lips and he smirked at her as they pulled apart.

"What was that for?"

"For being such a great guy and great father."

They snuggled together on the couch while watching The Breakfast Club. Though they both loved the movie, Jake's mind was elsewhere. He never realized that he was such a great guy, and such a great liar.


Before returning to the motel, Jillian stopped in a thrift shop five minutes before it closed. She purchased a pair of jeans and pajamas, then stopped at a grocery store and bought jelly, peanut butter, and bread. She was set to stay inside her room and rot for a week. She knew she would need time to think and at least, she should have something to eat, and clothes that did not make hint that she made them herself.

Sleep hadn't come easy, so when she heard someone knocking at her door at one thirty in the morning, unhappy camper didn't begin to measure the annoyance she felt.

Jillian turned over, set on ignoring the perpetrator who robbed her of her sleep, until that is, she realized that they were also set to stay and knock on the door till she opened it.

"I gave you the money for the room, remember?"

The only person it could be is the manager and she had paid him on her way in. The familiar sound of the knocking rang clear again. She removed the covers, cleared a path through the mounds of tissues she had used while she cried herself to sleep, and made her way to the door to look through the peephole. The face she saw caught her off guard, and she quickly unlatched and unlocked the door to be face to face to Jake.